08/30/26 Forfeit

1:50 so I know no one likes this like I know when I know that no one likes it but I hate losing like I genuinely like hate I I hate losing like just like it I know I hate losing it's just and the thing is there's some there's some easy ways to lose there's some good ways to lose where it's not so bad and then there's some hard ways to lose I don't know if you've ever seen those videos of like the don't celebrate too early videos have you seen those at all where they have someone like there's a there's a boxer and they're like being a showboat at the press conference at the weigh-in or right before the bell rings they're like you know goofing around and then they just get their bell rung and get clocked like don't celebrate too early or the cyclist and the bicyclist who after like a hundred miles he's cruising because he's one he's he's in the lead and his hands are off the handlebars and he's kind of doing this you know to the crowd and then there's someone behind him you can see them like grabbing onto the handlebars like bearing down and they nap him at the finish like don't celebrate too early that's a hard way to lose i've actually seen um some actual high schoolers in track coming down the home stretch and this guy who's like he's beating everybody but then like turns around to kind of gloat and then just eats it, you know, don't celebrate too early. I'm sure we've all seen the football player who's had this incredible run into the end zone, but right before he gets to the end zone, he like flicks the ball in the air to kind of like, you know, show off and just just before he crossed the goal line doesn't, or the guy who chases him down and knocks it out of his hand before he crosses it. All those things, that's a hard, speaking of hard ways to lose and speaking of football, I don't know, is there any Packers fans here? You don't want to admit it anyways, but on January 10th, this earlier this year at Soldier Field, Packers are playing the Chicago Bears. And the first, if you know this, the first three possessions the Packers had were three touchdowns. It was incredible. It was like, oh, they're going to dominate the Bears. And they did for the first half. The score at the halftime was 21-3 Packers.

3:44 The score at the beginning of the last quarter was 21-6 Packers. I actually went into the house next to Newman, a bunch of people watching the game. I bought my head in. I was like, oh wow, you guys just give up. Like why keep watching this game? I went, I left. Bears came back. Bears came back in that last quarter and it was the, I think the Packers, sorry, the Bears record comeback in a playoff game. They ended up winning 31 to 27. It was the Green Bay Packers record in losing. They've never lost that bad in a playoff game. It was a good day to be a Bears fan, a bad day to the Packers fan. That's a tough way to lose. But out of all the bad ways to lose, out of all the hard ways to lose, I think maybe the hardest is not when you're outplayed, not when you're outraced, not when you're out hustled. In those cases, yeah, you got beat and you lost. I think the hardest way to lose is to forfeit. Because I think forfeiting, forfeiting is a very particular way to lose.

4:42 It's because of something you did or because of something you didn't do, because of something you surrendered or something you violated, something you exchanged. And then the result is this. Result is you didn't get beat. You simply forfeited. So like the team, team wins the game. Turns out someone on the team was ineligible. Forfeit. It's a hard way to lose. Or they score a point, but turns out too many people on the field. So you forfeit. Tough way to lose. Or here's a tennis player or a chess player or whatever, and they're leading the match and they just stop playing. They concede and they just forfeit. They were winning and they just forfeited. Again, they didn't get beat. They simply forfeited and they lost. And this is the gospel today, right? What does Jesus say in the gospel? He says, whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it. But whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. Then he says this massive line. What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life.

5:45 Jesus is making it so clear that we can lose, but no one ever gets beaten out of their soul. They simply forfeit. And we do it in a bunch of different ways. We make little trades, right? We make little compromises. We make little exchanges. We forfeit. Or we violate the rules and we forfeit. Or sometimes we concede. Sometimes we just simply stop playing and we forfeit. And the question we hear is Jesus saying, what profit would there be for one to gain the whole world and yet forfeit his life? Another way to say it here at the beginning of school year is the reality is this. The reality is you can come, you can get everything you came to college to get and end up becoming someone you never wanted to become.

6:30 You can do everything you came to college to do and end up becoming someone you never wanted to become. because this is the key over that for all of us doesn't matter if you're in college or not for the next year or the next four years or the next season in life it's never just about what we do it's always about how we do it because ultimately the story is about who we become and the truth of the matter is today in the gospel we find this truth that I cannot we you we cannot become the people that we were meant to be without the cross.

7:05 It's impossible. We will never be able to become the people we're meant to be without the cross. Not just without the cross, without two crosses. The first cross is the cross of Jesus, right? We know this. So the cross of Jesus. If you know this, last week, we were reading from the gospel of Matthew chapter 16. This week is Matthew 16. It's the same scene. So last week, if you remember this, it was Jesus took his disciples to Caesarea Philippi, asked them the big question, who do you say that I am? Simon Peter stands up. You're the Messiah. You're the Holy One of God. You're the one we've been waiting for. And St. Peter is right. So last week, Simon Peter says who Jesus is. This week, Jesus says what that means. he says what it means not just for himself what it means for us and what it means for our worth so I came across this parable recently uh this woman on the internet was telling this parable her name is Talon and she talked about this it was a story of a father and his son and his father was trying to express to his son the the value his his own personal worth and so he said okay son I want you to you need to know your worth and so he gave him put in his hand this this red gem he said take it to the shopkeeper and the shopkeeper asks how much you want for this red gem just hold up the number two don't don't give it to him but just see what he says so it was the shopkeeper hold the red gem the guy says how much you want for it holds up two and the shopkeeper says oh two bucks okay it's worth two dollars takes it back to his dad his dad says okay now now go to the antique dealer in town same through the same thing goes the antique dealer shows him the red gem. The thief dealer says, how much you want for this red gem? The kid holds up two fingers, says $200. That's a steep price, but okay, that's what it's worth. Goes back to his dad. His dad says, now go to the jeweler in town. Takes it to the jeweler. And the jeweler looks under that little monocle thing, under that microscope, and sees all like the intricacies of this rare ruby. He says, how much do you want for it? The kid holds up two fingers, and the jeweler says, that's a fair price indeed. $200,000 is what this is worth. The kid goes home to his dad, and he gives them back the red gem.

9:09 And his father says, this is what you need to be clear. You need to be clear about this. Be careful who you allow to tell you your worth. be careful who you allow to tell you your worth so let's go back to Jesus in Matthew's gospel last week who is Jesus he's the Messiah he's the Holy One of God and today what is Jesus himself says is yep that's who I am and then he says and I or the son of man I must go to Jerusalem I must suffer from the elders I must be crucified and he asked the question he's saying the word must why? Jesus, why must you do this? And the answer is to win. To win what? to win you. be careful who you allow to tell you your worth here's God himself who embraces the cross why because it's through the cross that all grace comes to us you and I cannot be the people that were meant to be without the cross because all of God's grace it's called fancy term is called the paschal mystery right the life death and resurrection of Jesus all grace comes to us from that Jesus gave his life to save yours and therefore you cannot be beaten, you can only forfeit.

10:30 you could do everything you came to college to do, or you came to your job to do, or you came to retirement to do. You could do everything you wanted to do and end up becoming someone you never wanted to become because you simply forfeited. And we forfeit by making little small exchanges, little small trades, little small compromises, where we trade something that's permanent for something that's impermanent, something that's temporary. We take something that's of value and exchange it for something that's not value. And there's nothing you have, or I have, that's more valuable than our soul. Why? Because Jesus himself purchased our souls with his very life and death. There's nothing more valuable you and I have than our souls. how would I ever trade that for something smaller?

11:18 Well, if you read the Bible, I'm sure you probably read the first book of the Bible, Genesis, there's Abraham, his son is Isaac, and Isaac has two twin boys, Esau and Jacob. They're twins and Esau's older, he's born first. And so Esau, he gets two things. He gets the birthright, he gets the blessing. The birthright means the inheritance. that when Isaac, their dad, dies, Esau's going to get the bulk of the inheritance and he's going to get the blessing. But there's a moment in the Bible where Esau's coming in from hunting and his younger brother Jacob is sitting there making some, actually the technical term in the Bible is he's making some red stuff. He's making some, it's red porridge, it's red stew, it's just red stuff. And Esau's hungry and he says, hey, give me some of the red stuff. And Jacob says, I'll give it to you if you give me your birthright. you know anyone watching these two brothers talk you'd be like that's crazy and yet what does Esau do he says fine I don't care you can have the birthright give me the red stuff he exchanges something that is of incredible value for something that is not and we do this all of the time I can win college you could win college and still lose your soul not because someone took it from you but because you traded it for something else Thank you.

12:29 We can win at work and lose our soul. Not because someone took it from you, but because you traded it for something else. I trade my integrity for fame. I trade my character for popularity. I trade my honesty for a grade. and forfeit.

13:00 We also forfeit by conceding, right? I can forfeit, but I just stop playing. But the truth, of course, is this. I cannot become the person I'm meant to be. We cannot become the people we're meant to be without the cross. Two crosses, the cross of Jesus and the cross that he gives you each day. Let's go back to the gospel. Again, Jesus says what? He says, I must go. I must go to Jerusalem. I must pick up my cross. I must die. And then what's his next line is what? And if you want to be my disciple, you must deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow me.

13:40 That's radical. Jesus isn't saying, hey, you got to do it all. Jesus also isn't saying I do it all. He's saying, yeah, I got to do what I got to do. And you have to do, you must do what you have to do. But here's what we typically do. we typically, we sometimes see struggle as a sign that things have gone wrong. we sometimes see the fact that I'm struggling with something as a sign that they've gone wrong but that's not that's not true what St. Paul say to the Romans he says do not be conformed to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind what we believe is vitally important why because what I believe determines how I interpret what happens to me and how I interpret what happens to me shapes what I choose and what I choose shapes who I become.

14:28 So if I believe this thing that says, well, struggle means I should stop. that'll shape who I am. If I believe that failing means I'm a failure, that's going to shape who I become. what I believe will be the way that I interpret what happens to me. So things like this, things like, man, I'm struggling at school. Or I'm struggling at work. Well, that means I don't belong here. Does it?

15:03 Or the fact that I'm lonely means that something is wrong with me. Does it really? Maybe it just means you've been here for four days. give it time. Or the fact that, man, I've been trying to pray and prayer's a battle and I just can't hear God's voice anymore. That means I should just quit. Does it? what I believe determines how I interpret what happens to me so if I believe that struggle means I should stop if I believe that failure feeling means I'm a failure I will never become the person God wants me to be so all this summer I've been working out with a a good friend of mine and he hasn't been spent a lot of time in the gym and so the first couple days we went to the gym uh we'd be lifting weights you know and and and he got to the end of a set and he would like fail a rep right if you know that means he'd fail a rep. He won't be able to complete the movement. And he'd get done. He'd be like, oh, I'm so sorry. He'd apologize. He's like, oh, I feel that thing. I'm sorry. And I was like, okay, we have to know this. If you guys, sports, sports science people, you know this, that like the goal of every, the goal when you're lifting is that you need to come within one to three reps of failure, every single set. If you want to grow, if you want to grow, you actually want to get to the place of failure. And so he's like, okay, what I believe determines how I interpret what happens to me. And so now what happens is if either of us fail a rep, with good form, of course, if we fail a rep, the other guy's like, awesome. Like that was it.

16:32 Because why? Because failure is success. Because why? Because if I don't pick up and carry today what I need to carry today, I will not be able to carry what I need to carry tomorrow. Struggle doesn't mean I should stop. Failing doesn't mean I'm a failure. It means that I've tried. And this is the key. If I don't do this thing today, I will not be able to do the thing that's necessary tomorrow. You might know about the image of a caterpillar coming out of a cocoon or a butterfly coming out of a chrysalis, right? So if you ever see this happen, it's fascinating because it's a struggle. If you've ever seen like a butterfly coming out of a chrysalis, it's like the big, it's a little small opening. And then it's just, it's just working, trying to break free from this chrysalis. And the temptation, if you have a compassionate heart, of course, you want to take a little X-Acto knife and like, you know, open it up, make it a little easier for the butterfly to come out. But if you did that, what would happen is this, the butterfly would not be able to fly. Because it's actually the process of fighting, get itself out of the chrysalis that pumps like whatever insect blood is into the wings that make it both strong and rigid.

17:36 And if you take away the struggle, you take away this butterfly's ability to fly. Same thing is true with chicks coming out of eggs. Again, it's a really hard process where they have this internal pipping happening and they have to break through this internal thing where they start breathing inside and then they have to crack the egg, its external pipping. And what happens a lot of times, if you ever see this happen, is the chick will finally break through the egg and you just see its beak poking out and you're like, well, just, I want to speed up the process. I want to help this. I want to do it for it. What's happening is this bird is learning how to breathe air. it just sits there sometimes for hours as it learns to breathe and as its internal biological processes shift if you were to help the bird by cracking the egg for it the bird would never become what it's meant to be in fact it might in fact die struggle doesn't mean I should stop and failing doesn't mean failure and you and I cannot become who are meant to be without the cross but this is so important for us it's not simply what we do we know this it's not simply what we do it's how we do it y'all know Lance Armstrong well no Lance Armstrong right Lance Armstrong who would have been known as the greatest bicyclist of all time he won the Tour de France six times in a row that's what he did won the Tour de France six times in a row that's what he did how did he do it by cheating therefore who is he well, he's someone that Jesus died to save.

19:09 But even though Lance Armstrong, what he did was win the Tour de France, how he did it was a cheater. Therefore, who he is, he is a zero-time winner of the Tour de France. Because it's not just what we do, it's how we do it that determines who we become. And this is the last thing. Earlier this summer, about a month and a half ago, one of my older sisters ran a 200-mile trail race around Lake Tahoe. It's just up and down. And the elevation gain and loss was something like 40,000 feet. It's incredible. She ran this 200-mile trail race, and she had two goals. She's 55 years old. She had two goals. The first goal was she wanted to finish. And she did. She finished in three days, 20 hours, and six minutes. She slept, over the course of those four days, she slept five hours. So the first goal, number one goal was she wanted to finish. Her second goal was this. And her second goal was, in some ways, more important to her than the first goal.

20:05 She said she wanted to be a person that she liked when things got hard. That she knew. She knew that in the middle of a 200-mile foot race, things were going to get really, really dark. Things were going to get really, really difficult. And so she said, okay, in that race, I know I'm going to be exhausted. I know I'm going to want to complain. I know I'm going to want to be cranky. I know I'm going to want to become someone else. But in those moments, I want to be someone I like when things get hard. In fact, she said it like this. I asked her about it. I was like, Aimee, I want to talk about you at the homily. So what should I say? She said this, she did two things. She said, when things get hard, can I still be kind?

20:41 And when things get hard, can I look around and appreciate the beauty of God's creation? She got that idea from another ultra runner named Rachel Enricon. Rachel Enricon said it like this. She said, that's the reason I do these races. I do races like this to see if I like the person that emerges when things get hard. And she said that the interface of hard, I want to like the person that I become. And we cannot become the person we're meant to be without the cross of Jesus and without picking up our own. because life is not just about what we do it's about how we do it ultimately it's about who we become tonight, tomorrow, this week, over the next semester or next year, every one of us will be invited to pick up our cross and follow after Jesus.

21:40 How we do that will determine who we become.