10/04/26 Blind Spots: Worry

2:09 Wait till you have a seat. so I recently came across a story of a tragic a tragic story of a father and a son they were close it was the son was an ordinary son young kid his father was a great dad

2:34 and it was very very clear that this father loved his son very very much at one point they were on a, they were in the wilderness together and there was an accident and in the midst of this accident the father had a choice, the father had the opportunity, he could either save his own life or he could sacrifice his life and save his son's life

2:56 and without thinking, without hesitating, this father sacrificed his own life so that his son could live. The son obviously was devastated by this and not only because his dad, his father, but also he was devastated because he blamed himself. He thought it was his fault. So he just, it ate him up. So he wanted to get as far away from,

3:21 as far away from his life as possible. So he ran off, just running away. In the course of his travels, he encountered two individuals who became friends. And these individuals, they just, that he was just so broken. They knew that he was going through something and they just kept telling him, yeah, but just don't worry. Like, I know your dad's dead. Don't worry about it. Yeah, I know that your whole life has been upended. Just don't worry about it. In fact, it turns out later on, they found out that it was the dad's brother had conspired to kill his own brother and that he had moved after that dad had died. He had moved in and he had taken over his dad's land, his dad's property.

4:14 He basically enslaved his wife and their kids and Uncle Scar. had planned this whole thing. And all that these two individuals, all that Timon and Pumbaa could say was, well, I know it's a big deal, but don't worry about it. Except they didn't just say, don't worry. They said it in Swakili, so it was more catchy. They put it in the songs. They just said, Hakuna Matata. And that's it, right? Is that so strange? I don't know if you've ever thought about like how dark the story of the Lion King is. And that all these two individuals, all that Timon and Pumbaa, all these friends could say was, don't worry.

4:48 you know when it comes to worry when it comes to anxiety in our in our day and age I would say this I would say that well we know this it's everywhere in fact the studies have shown have indicated that that worry anxiety is at an all-time high in our culture this net that worry across the board has never been as high as it is in fact clinical anxiety about 10 years ago clinical anxiety surpassed clinical depression as the number one medical illness among college students and so this that notion of like we realize that there's a lot of forms that anxiety can take one is clinical anxiety that sense of you need to and if someone's experiencing that of course we want to get help you want to get counseling maybe medication there's also another kind of anxiety and so it's just a high temper some people have a high strong temperament right that's just a reality some of us are even just born more high strung so much in fact they did the study where they found out that 13 to 15 percent of human beings are just naturally more high strung just naturally have a temperament that's more oriented towards anxiety. Of course, there's a third kind of anxiety. There's just the emotion, right? The emotion of worry, the emotion of nervousness.

5:49 I'm afraid. I'm uncertain. And here's what we're saying is that for most of us, now, none of those things are sins. To have a clinical anxiety, that's not a sin. Because why? Because mental illness is not a sin, right? Any more than cancer is a sin. Any more than a broken leg is a sin. That's not the case. Emotions aren't sins either. But here's the problem. For many of us, the background noise to our lives. For so many of us, worry isn't something we're choosing. It's become the soundtrack of our lives. And so for the last five weeks, we've been talking about these things called blind spots, right? The blind spots we have in our lives. And blind spots, it comes from Psalm 19. Psalm 19, the psalmist said this. He said, from hidden faults, O Lord, equip me. That to God, I realize there's things in my life I don't even see them. I don't even realize they're there, but they are still sins, but we call them acceptable sins, because they're sins that, yeah, they're significant, but we've developed socially acceptable excuses why we leave them in here, so we don't even notice them, therefore we can't repent of them, and so we talked about gossip, we talked about anger, we talked about the sin of entitlement, last week was complaint, this weekend is the sin of worry, which again is different than clinical anxiety, that's different than the emotion of worry.

7:02 It's when we choose to allow worry and anxiety to be our constant companion. And so again, worry is at an all time high. And then St. Paul says, have no anxiety at all. The question I have to ask is, is St. Paul just quoting Timon and Pumbaa? Like is St. Paul, is all St. Paul is trying to say is like, hey, you know what? Don't think about it. Just stop caring. Is St. Paul saying, don't be concerned? And we answer is no.

7:29 saying don't care. He's not saying don't be concerned. Because why? Because St. Paul's letter to the Philippians chapter 4, he says have no anxiety at all. But in St. Paul's letter to Philippians chapter 2, he talks about how anxious he is. He actually talks, he has a good friend, his name is Epaphroditus. Chapter 2, he goes on and on about his friend Epaphroditus who got deathly sick. He recovered, but Paul says, I hope that he comes to you soon so that I can no longer be anxious for him. And if he wants to no longer be anxious for him, that means he's currently

8:00 him. Later on, or earlier, St. Paul, 2 Corinthians, he writes about this. He talks about all the suffering he went through as a missionary. He talks about that he'd been shipwrecked. He'd been left for dead a couple times. He'd been beaten. He'd been stoned. He'd been rejected. And he says, on top of all these things, he says, the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches. So is St. Paul just St. Hypocrite? I mean, what's he doing? Saying like, you guys don't worry. I'm going to be the one who worries. No, that's not what he's saying. He's talking worry and being concerned. Being concerned is different, right? Being concerned is being attentive. Being concerned is being careful. It's being prudent. Being concerned is what many of you need to be, right? How are you going to care for your family? You need to be concerned over that. If you have a home, you should be concerned enough to lock your doors at night. That if you have something you need to show up for, you need to be concerned enough to prepare for that thing. So again, I don't want anyone leaving tonight thinking like, well, St. Paul said don't worry, so I was worried about this test tomorrow. I guess I don't have to do anything now.

9:03 I don't want anyone to say, well, St. Paul says don't worry, so I need you to hand that paper in by midnight tonight. I'm not going to worry about it. No, that's not St. Paul. That's Timon and Pumbaa, and Timon and Pumbaa are not good friends. What St. Paul is talking about, St. Paul, when he says have no anxiety, don't translate that to mean don't care, because not caring is not an option.

9:27 top two commandments. Top two commandments, love God with everything and love your neighbor as yourself. We're commanded to love and love means you care. When I was growing up, my dad was like, he's like, Mike, I'm worried about you. I'm like, dad, don't worry. He's like, I'm your father. It's my job to worry. I said, that's a horrible job description. Like I would not want to sign up for that. So here we are.

9:52 But the thing is, love means you care. concern is the burden that love gives a person we have to understand this more worry does not mean you love more in fact we'd say this that that worry oftentimes is my attempt to carry the burden without surrendering it to God because worry and concern are fundamentally different because concern and worry ask fundamentally different questions concern asks the question what can I do right concern has the sense of like I care about this person I care about this situation so what can I do? Concern prompts action. And we know that action alleviates anxiety, but worry, the question worry asks is not what can I do. The question worry asks is what if? And you know that question. What if this happens? What if that happens? And what happens is this, worry merely rehearses futures that we can't control. And oftentimes, oftentimes, worry comes from uncertainty. I don't know what's going to happen.

10:49 now in fact how about this how many of you and well you don't have to raise your hand but how many of us regularly get overwhelmed when we say gosh I just don't know what to do I don't know what to do look at all the things I need to get done and I don't know what to do and the question I have to ask is is it true that I don't know what to do or do I actually mean I don't know what's going to happen like is it actually true that I don't know what to do or am I really saying I just don't know how this will end because we have to consider this is it really true that just how this will end, does that mean I don't know how to start?

11:22 do I truly not know the next right step or do I simply not know the step after that? I came across this, I had a conversation with a woman named Tracy Kujewski-Korea and she's trained as an engineer and she worked as an engineer for a bunch of years and then she now works at the University of Notre Dame and what she does is she leads a team that whenever there's a tragedy or a cataclysm somewhere in the world, she and her team are the first people on the ground. she and her team immediately spring into action and they're the first people on the ground. If there's a hurricane, she and her team, they are the first to arrive. If there's an earthquake like Venezuela, she and her team are the first people to show up. And she says, she shows up among this, all this devastation, like people who have lost everything. They've lost their property. They've lost their lives. They've lost loved ones. They've lost everything. And she's the first person there. And amidst all of this, I said, how in the world, how do you take action?

12:18 How do you know what to do? And she says, actually, it's very simple. I said how can it be simple everything's gone wrong she said when everything got is gone has gone wrong it's so simple because I just simply ask one question and the one question I ask is what's the next right thing that even if everything is overwhelming I just ask the question what's the next right thing and then I just do the next right thing years ago I read this book by Andy Weir Andy Weir he wrote the book The Martian he also wrote Project Hail Mary but if

12:50 Martian. It's about an astronaut named Mark Watney, and he's a part of this exploration of Mars, right? So the book opens up, they're on Mars. At one point, there's a Martian storm, and he's caught outside of the spaceship, I guess, and they think he's dead. They need to leave, and so they basically, they abandon him on Mars. Mark Watney comes to, and not only does he have like a pole through his stomach, he's also 140 million miles from Earth with no way to get home, and it's just like, it's because I remember reading this thinking, how in the world is he going to get from Mars to Earth with no spaceship and no help and no hope? And he just does this. He just does the next right thing. He's like, I've got a pole sticking through my stomach. Okay, deal with that. Don't get infected. Deal with that. I need water. Deal with that. I need food. Deal with that. And he just consistently does the next right thing.

13:45 We know this. We know that action alleviates anxiety. always just simply do the next right thing. In fact, I was talking to a man, he spent about three decades in the special ops in the United States military. And he's part of a unit that's widely considered to be the world's best problem solvers, or at least the military's best problem solvers. And I asked him about it. He said, yeah, you know, people say that we're the world's best problem solvers. But he said, it's not because we make perfect decisions. It's not because we even make the best decisions. He said, we're considered to be the world's best problem solvers because we

14:22 decisions that we face with an issue. We make a decision and then we're willing to pivot. I think about this, what my worry does to me and what our worry does to us, I think a lot of times our worry keeps us stuck. We have this anxiety-induced paralysis. You might call it procrastination, but I like the term anxiety-induced paralysis, where we just, we look at the thing and we're like, I'm so overwhelmed. In fact, a residential, specialized residential facility for adolescents who experience high clinical degrees of anxiety and high clinical degrees of OCD. It's called Mountain Valley Treatment Center. The Mountain Valley Treatment Center has come up with what I think is the single best definition of anxiety that I've ever heard. Their definition for anxiety was this, the overestimation of danger and our underestimation of our ability to cope.

15:19 The overestimation of danger, something bad is going to be too much for me and the underestimation of my ability to cope, I won't be able to handle it. So what we do instead of facing it, our blind spot is we begin to believe these three lies about worry. We believe that worry is necessary. We start to believe that worry is useful. And we start to believe that worry is somehow keeping me safe. we believe worry is necessary like it's it's like no i'm worried why because it proves that i care it's like my dad saying you know i'm your father i have to worry or sometimes we believe worry proves that we're responsible how many of us have believed this lie that if i'm not worried nothing will get done if i don't fret over this thing nothing will get accomplished

16:04 but we realize we have to realize there's other fuel for forward motion than just anxiety in fact Simon Sinek. Simon Sinek is a speaker and author. He talks about how he was watching Olympians after they came off the podium, right? They got the gold, silver, or bronze medal. And they're being interviewed by people and they were asked, these interviewers were asking these Olympians, hey, before your event, before your race, before your competition, were you nervous? And he said consistently, these Olympians said, no, I wasn't nervous. I was excited.

16:37 because we know this we know there's other fuel for forward motion than just worry our blind spot is this our blind spot is not that we care too much our blind spot is we mistake worrying about something for loving it then we further make a mistake that we believe that worrying is doing something that's why we not only believe that worry is necessary we believe that worry is useful like we we we look at worry as if it accomplishes something why because we keep asking that question what if we keep rehearsing what And what happens is we can feel productive because our mind is busy, but it's like this. I remember hearing someone describe worry like this. It's like a rocking chair. It doesn't go anywhere, but it gives you something to do.

17:19 but doesn't do anything. There's a saint, his name is Saint Padre Pio. He has a very famous line. He said, pray, hope, and don't worry. But he goes on. He says, pray, hope, and don't worry. Worry is useless. It literally accomplishes nothing. In fact, there's another man, not a saint. His name is Baz Luhrmann. Baz Luhrmann once said this. He said, don't worry or worry, but realize, realize that worrying is about as effective as solving an algebra problem by chewing bubble gum. It doesn't do anything. We convince ourselves that thinking about this thing will give me more control, but at a certain point, I'm no longer solving my problem. I'm simply rehearsing my problem.

18:07 We believe worry is necessary. We believe worry is useful. then we believe that worry somehow keeps me safe. We see worry as self-protection. That if I can imagine the worst beforehand, then I won't be blindsided. If I don't expect anything, then I won't be disappointed. Or even this, if I stop worrying, then something bad will happen.

18:30 You know, this is the last study of the night. They did a study where they found out that 91.2% of the things people worry about on a regular basis never actually end up happening. Now think about what you worried about over the last week or what you worried about over the last month. 91.2% of the things we typically worry about never end up happening. So the lie is this, my worry protects me from suffering. But the truth is, worry makes me suffer twice. once in my imagination, and then again if the thing actually happens.

19:04 But even more unfortunately, it makes me suffer once 91.2% of the time. All of this, all this worry is an attempt to control outcomes without actually doing anything. Now remember, remember, it's not a sin to feel worried. It's not a sin to feel anxious. It's what we do with it when it shows up. if I choose worry, that's actually a sin against trust.

19:32 There's a Protestant pastor who, he passed away a couple of years ago. His name is Timothy Keller. Timothy Keller made a distinction about resentment and worry. He said, resentment is believing that God got it wrong. I look back at my past and I'm so angry about this. Resentment is believing God got it wrong. And worry is believing that God won't get it right.

19:56 it's a sin against trust. So what's the remedy? Because all the blind spot, every one of the blind spots has a remedy. So what is the remedy? How do we actually have no anxiety at all? Well, go back to Padre Pio. He gave it to us. Pray, hope, and don't worry. So the two things here, pray and hope. So we realize, remember, action alleviates anxiety. So prayer, prayer is an action. Prayer is something, you're doing something. In fact, if I can make a decision, make a decision. If I don't know what to do, just do the next right thing. All of that, all of that alleviates anxiety.

20:35 Because of course, there are going to be anxious moments. Paul tells us what to do with those anxious moments. Paul says, have no anxiety at all, but in all things, with prayer and petition, in thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Basically, Paul says, take them to him. no this is what people say they say well yeah but but father what if I get into a place where I just can't fix it what if I have something so big in my life that I I can't do anything with it I can't fix it especially then especially then is when we need to pray especially then is when we need to bring it to God so there's a man his name is Max Licato Max Licato is a Christian author he had he had this great example what this looks like for most of us he says how many of us if we had like a broken appliance that we couldn't fix like we tried everything we tinkered with the with the laundry machine or the dishwasher, whatever it was, we did all we could to try to fix it and we couldn't fix it. He said, how many of us would bring that appliance to an expert? Like the person, they know how to fix laundry machines.

21:27 They know how to fix dishwashers and bring it to the person who knows how to fix it and then hover over them as they're working on it saying, can I help? How many of us would say, let me just bring my sleeping bag and I'm gonna sleep in your shop while you fix this thing? He said, none of us would do that. Once you bring it to the expert, when you know you can't fix it, expert and then it's no longer yours to carry. You bring it to the expert and let him have it.

21:54 we have things in our lives. This is bigger than me. I can't fix it. Prayer is I bring this to God and say, God, it's now yours. It's no longer mine. You can have it. That's prayer. And then hope. We know this. We know that hope is not wishful thinking.

22:18 I don't know if you know this. Do you know where St. Paul was to the Philippians. St. Paul's in prison as he's writing to the, as he's writing, have no anxiety at all. Here's Paul who is, he has no influence over the outcome of his life. Here's St. Paul, he has no influence over the verdict. He has no influence over where he's going to die or where he's going to get set free. He has no influence over the churches. He has no influence over Epaphroditus who could get sick again and he could die. But here's St. Paul. He has no influence over these outcomes, but he has hope. Why? Because he knows he has access. That no matter what happens, he has hope because he knows that God his father will always hear him. That God is there with him in prison and God will be there no matter where he goes. And this is the last thing. He has hope because he knows no matter what happens God will be there.

23:06 One of my heroes is a man named Father Walter Chizek. Some of you know who Father Walter Chizek is. Father Chizek was an American priest who became a missionary to Russia during World War II. he got to Poland at the outbreak of World War II and then Russia invaded Poland and he found himself in Russia and he almost immediately was arrested and accused of being a Vatican spy by the Soviets for a year he was tortured in solitary confinement until after a year of torture it broke him he broke and then he spent the next 23 years in a Soviet gulag being almost worked to death and if there's anyone in the world who could experience overwhelming anxiety, overwhelming worry about his life and having no influence over outcomes would be Father Walter Ciszek. But at one point, one of the best lines in the entire book, the entire account of his experience of 23 years of being essentially powerless is he says these words.

24:01 He says, there would be a tomorrow and we would have to live in it. And God would be there as well. That's hope. I've done everything I could I've done everything I can I give it to God and I know there will be a tomorrow and we'll have to live in it and God will be there as well

24:26 that's hope knowing that no matter what the outcome no matter what happens God will be there as well in every one of our hearts, every one of our lives, worry comes and goes. That blind spot shows up all the time, but we know, we who love, know the love of God, we who know the power of Jesus Christ, we refuse to overestimate the danger, and we refuse to underestimate our ability to cope.

24:54 In every situation, we can do something, we can pray. In every situation, we can trust God, we can hope and therefore in every situation we can do what St. Paul tells us to do.