"Acknowledge Your Unhappy Moments" Rev. Reginald W. Sharpe Jr. Wednesday May 25 2022

2:16 I like that. We're jumping in this lesson today. We're jumping in this lesson. We've been talking about the six ingredients to a happier life. We've talked about protecting your internal peace. always give yourself something to look forward to we talked about minding your own business hadn't it been good and tonight i'm giving you the fourth ingredient and i pray that it does speak to your heart and that it ministers to your mind and this one i want you to listen intently to what i'm about to say acknowledge here's the fourth ingredients acknowledge your unhappy moments acknowledge your unhappy moments see one of the problems with calling this year the year of fun one of the downsides to a pastor teaching the principles of how to have a happier life is that people automatically assume that there's something wrong with them if they're not happy and if they're not having fun.

3:20 When this year started off on New Year's Eve, one of our most faithful members died suddenly on New Year's Eve. My aunt died unexpectedly on New Year's Eve. The next day, when the clock struck 12, it is now the year of fun.

3:41 And I am in the middle of planning a funeral and in the middle of trying to help a church grieve a massive loss of one of our most faithful members miss kim hollowell trying to help my family deal with a massive loss after we just dealt with my aunties one auntie died in august the next auntie passed away in december that's a lot on the family to have back-to-back deaths like that and and i'm looking at god saying the year of fun or did i hear you correctly i mean it was was this my ambition or was this your was this my wish or was this your will and god had to help me understand early in the year that I'm not calling this the year of fun for you to live this whole year as if bad moments don't happen as if human moments don't happen I don't need you to promote toxic positivity because toxic positivity says everything's all all right everything's always all right I'm supposed to be up and smiling and upbeat and happy and joyful and and and positive all the time nothing's wrong with me all is always well and the truth is y'all sometimes it's not always all right it's not always well it's some things are difficult and maybe they will be well i can speak prophetically that it is well we can sing that song with the hope that all things will indeed as romans 8 28 says work together for the good of them who love God and to those who according to his purpose but lean up I need to teach you real quick I need you to embrace this ingredient so you can have a profound reality on what happiness really is you cannot be happy by running from unhappy moments because all of your unhappy moments have come to make the happier moments happier are you feeling me the unhappiness comes to show us and teach us something. Here's how I want to say it tonight. Pain is your professor. Trouble is your teacher.

5:48 Exhaustion is an educator. How is pain your professor? Because pain always comes to teach us that something needs to change. Trouble always comes to teach us that something has to be different. Exhaustion is an educator. Why am I worn out? Why am I fatigued? Why am I drained? Because I need to be aware of what's draining me. I need to be aware of the trouble. I need to be in tune with why I'm unhappy so now I can work on fixing what it is or embracing what it is or learning from what this is or deleting whatever this is or I need to adjust myself because everything you will not be able to stop or change. Are y'all feeling me?

6:43 Some diagnosis we get, you can't change it. Some difficult people in your family, you can't change that. Some things, a pandemic, global pandemic, you couldn't, no matter what, I don't care how much Holy Ghost you had, you can speak in tongue as long as you want to. He coming in 100 and he tie me your bow tie and you can spell college backwards. is E-G-E-L-L-O-C. So if you ever want to sound deep at a Pentecostal church, just spell college backwards. E-G-G-L-L-O-C. Say it as fast as you can. I don't care how many tongues you speak. You can't change a global pandemic. But you had to change yourself. Ah, that's why the last two years have been so transformative because you couldn't change it, so you had to change you. You couldn't change it, so you had to change you. Somebody write that in the chat. When I can't change it, I got to change me. and so how do you become happier you've got to embrace those unhappy moments embrace it you just stop stop running from it look it square in the face and figure out hey what is this what is what is what is going on right now why did i lose my zest why am i fake laughing and why haven't i really laughed in a long time why does my marriage my relationship or my singleness what is bothering me about this right now something is not right and i need to embrace that i'm unhappy so i can get back to the happiness but you don't get back to happy by faking like you happy all the time so when people ask you how you're doing stop lying my mama told me lying is a bad word so i at 31 i still feel a little nervous by saying that but can i just be for real for real stop lying how you doing today? I'm on a journey. I'm taking small steps forward.

8:29 You know, life is moving. I'm doing my best. I'm giving my best. I'm embracing this season. But don't lie. How you doing today? All is well. It's all really well. Or I'm not feeling my best today, but I am hopeful that tomorrow will be better. You know, whatever your honest answer is because when you're honest about it guess what you just did you open yourself up to be cared for you open yourself up to see who people really are because you can find out quickly who just asked you out of habit and who asked you because they really care because when you give a real answer they will reveal if they really were listening and you answer back and you said no today's not the best day and they say well that's good to hear well i just said today's not the best day you said that's good to hear that means you asking me out of habit you don't even care about me so i know that you're not a person that i need to be vulnerable around so watch this your honesty opens up oh your honesty reveals the authenticity of the people around you teach sharp they're not ready for me they tune in they're not listening they're eating they're eating ice cream over there i say your honesty opens up authentic helps reveal authenticity of the people around you.

9:50 So it's not you that needs to stop being honest. It's the people around you who need to stop faking. And your real friends got to step up and the people who really care about you have to step up. And listen, and everybody doesn't have the capacity. So when it's revealed, just move on. But what I'm trying to tell you today is one ingredient for a happier life, the fourth ingredient is you've got to embrace. You've got to acknowledge the unhappy moments in your life. right now I want you to be honest and say what's one thing in your life that does not make you happy when you deal with it when you see them when you have to talk about it this thing has you in a bind right now what is it don't say that loud don't don't don't write it in the chat everybody can't handle your your real real but I want you to get it in your mind you know what it is you know you ain't had to think hard about it you immediately said blank you immediately a person came to your mind a situation came to your mind a reality came to your mind an unemployment finances a strain relationship something came to your mind you're like yeah i'm not that happy about that so when i acknowledge it when i reveal it now i open myself up with god to heal it it can only be healed when it is revealed and so i need you to get that in your mind let me give you two scriptures and we're gonna get out of here because this point is just trying to teach you don't become a victim of toxic positivity i told y'all a few weeks ago people that smile all the time make me nervous i think something is wrong with you if you smile all the time i mean everything's fine you are sick you need prayer, you need help something's not right listen, my grandma used to say his elevator, don't go don't make me say it, you know it that elevator don't go all the way up it's a few loose screws and more than that there's probably somebody who is faking

11:56 it's not reality Frankie Beverly Mays says there's joy and pain sunshine and rain I'm going to give you the word of God but let me give you the songs right now J. Cole one of my favorite songs interlude he says I've seen the highest of heights I done seen it twice I've seen the lowest of the lows and still I rose I like that you see the dichotomy you see the juxtaposition I've seen the highest heights I done seen it twice seen the lowest of the lows still I rose he's been high he's been low any life watch this any life that is like this is a flat line it's a flat line if you go to if you see somebody in the hospital and that thing say boom they just died or their heart just stopped but when you see this to do to do to do that mean you're still alive oh i'm about to feel like preaching i don't know who i'm talking to tonight but that up and down that bounce is a sign that i am still breathing I still have possibility I can still make it I am up and down I'm alive I am trying I'm on a journey I am on an adventure with God God is not through as long as there's an up and down so you I'm just going up and down I'm up and down thank God you're going up and down because it's a sign that you're still alive can somebody thank God on a Wednesday night for the ups and the downs for the good and the bad for the laughter and the lament for the rain and the sunshine The cloudy days in Chicago made that day the sun came out so beautiful.

13:31 We had about 40 days of clouds and cloudiness in Chicago. And I was finding every other city to go to for them 40 days. I could not take it. I was looking for the sunshine. That'll preach on its own. I'm going to pull that out later. I was looking for the sun. But because it was cloudy and rainy and dreary looking, when that sun came out, oh, let me tell you something. It was a beautiful experience. Isn't it amazing how clouds make you appreciate the sun? So imagine this. If clouds make you appreciate the sun, unhappy moments, unhappy seasons make the joyful seasons even more richer. And you appreciate them more. because if it was sun all the time, you would live in a drought. You don't need sun all the time. You need rain because rain helps things grow.

14:25 I'm teaching tonight. You ain't got to listen, but I know I'm talking tonight. Go to Psalm 119, Psalm 19, verse 71. Message Bible says, my troubles turned out all for the best. They forced me to learn from your textbook. My troubles turned out all for the best. They forced me to learn from your textbook. The King James Version puts it like this. It was good that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes. Statues is another word for word. And the word in Psalm 19 always is synonymous with God. So let's remix it. It was good that I went through something because it taught me more about God. Who in this room can thank God for your stormy days, your stormy seasons, because it taught you more about God. You know God more deeply on the other side of this pandemic than you knew before.

15:25 You know God a little bit richer than you knew God before that death happened in your family. You know God in a whole nother way post-divorce, post-storm, post-unemployment, post-after you've gone through some things. Do I have one witness in here who can testify? I'm so glad I did go through some of that stuff. Some of it I wish I never had to go through it, but I am glad that in some of those seasons I learned something. The other Sunday we were singing through it all. One of the verses is, I thank God for my mountains. I thank God for my valleys. I thank God for the storms God has brought me through because if I never had a problem, I wouldn't know God could solve them. I wouldn't know what faith in God's word could do. And then the chorus says through it all, through it all, I've learned to trust in Jesus. I've learned to trust in God through it all.

16:18 I've learned to depend upon his word. I'm a different sharp in 2022 because I live through 2020 because I live through 2021. Can I tell you what happened the other day? I was talking to my therapist and I was telling her how anxious and anxiety feel I am because in the first week of June, I'm going to preach at the largest black ministers conference in the nation. I was invited to preach and every black preacher who you can think of knows about Hampton ministers conference. So I was talking through my anxiety, trying to get my mind ready, get my mind ready. And it got to a point where we realized, and I had an epiphany, that I was supposed to do this in 2020. I was supposed to preach this in 2020. But it got delayed. It got postponed because of the pandemic. And I told my therapist, thank God it got delayed because Reginald Sharp Jr. in 2020 was in no shape to take on the weight of ministering to anybody. You feel me?

17:21 but I had to go through 2020. I had to face 2021 because now I'm more settled. I'm more secure. I'm more calm. I'm more at peace. I've worked through some stuff I had suppressed and now I'm a better preacher because I had to face my own stuff, my own unhappiness. Y'all not listening to me? You can't teach a sermon about intergenerational trauma before you deal with your own. I could talk to you about it because I'd already talked to myself through it. I'd already talked to myself about it. So when you get a healed mama and you become a healed mama, a healed leader, a healed preacher, a healed father, a healed teacher, a healed staff member, everybody else benefits from your healing. so i had to go through it because it taught me some things about myself and it taught me some things about god i'm almost through here we are john chapter 16 verse 33 you know this text willie you can start playing i'm done john chapter 16 verse 33 john chapter 16 verse 33 watch what jesus says john chapter 16 verse 33 watch this watch this watch what jesus says i'm gonna read out the message bible then i tell you what it says in the king james version it says this in this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties but take heart i've conquered the world y'all know that scripture in this life you shall have trials and tribulation that's king james version but be of good cheer i've already overcome the world so when you go through go through with ah let me see i can put this go through knowing it's a fixed fight when you have god as your heavenly father jesus as your savior and the holy ghost as your

19:33 comforter and keeper it's a fixed fight so yes i will endure troubles yes i will have difficulties. Yes, I will face some anxieties. Yes, I will have some cloudy days, but the sun shall shine again because the truth is the sun never stopped shining. I just couldn't see it.

19:58 I'm going to leave you with that. You're just going to sit with that when I'm done. The sun never stopped shining. You just couldn't see it. And so acknowledge your unhappy moments and watch how the happiness that will come will be a realer. I don't know if that's a real word. It's going to work tonight. It's going to be more real. It's going to be realer. It's going to be more authentic and you're going to appreciate it more. because when you've been through real pain, that's when you appreciate real joy. God in heaven, I thank you for your word tonight, for challenging us and for pushing us not to embrace toxic positivity, but to understand that when we're unhappy, pain is a professor. Trouble is a teacher.

20:51 Fatigue is a friend. Exhaustion is an educator because if we listen to it, they're always trying to tell us how to change something and correct something so we can be better. So God, help us not to ignore the signs of pain, the signs of tiredness, the signs of unhappiness because they're coming to educate us so that we can graduate into new levels of happiness, into new levels of peace. Speak to your people even after this message. May this message ignite a conversation in every relationship so we can be better and we can be more whole. In Jesus' name we pray. Have your way in our lives. Amen, amen, and amen. Somebody write in the chat, I want real joy. Come on, say it out loud. I want real joy. I want real joy.

21:44 If you need Christ, come on, that's how you find it.