Agapē . . . Authentic Love │ Msg 12/14

1:39 this brief passage as the basis for the message I'm calling agape authentic love join me in your bibles as i read john 13 john 13 verses 31 to 38 i'm reading today from the new living translation verse 31 as soon as judas left the room jesus said the time has come for the son of man to enter into his glory, and God will be glorified because of him. And since God receives glory because of the Son, he will give his own glory to the Son, and he will do so at once. Dear children, I will be with you only a little longer. And as I told the Jewish leaders, you will search for me, but you can't come, for I am going.

2:42 So now I am giving you a new commandment. Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples. Simon Peter asked, Lord, where are you going? Jesus replied, You can't go with me now, but you will follow me later. But why can't I come now, Lord? He asked. I'm ready to die for you. Jesus answered, Die for me? I tell you the truth, Peter, before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know me.

3:40 Francis A. Schaeffer is a name familiar to most Christians in this generation. His books have been perhaps the most provoking and profound of books that have come across the market. Just the mention of a few titles brings a smile of understanding to the face of those who have read Schaeffer. The God Who Is There, Escape from Reason, The Death of the City, The Church at the End of the Twentieth Century. What profound publications these are. I suppose there isn't a Christian campus across the country that hasn't battled out some of the issues that have stretched from ecology all the way up to sovereignty in the writings of Schaeffer. a keen thinker, provocative speaker. I've heard him and as he stood there in his knickers and that strange little bow tie that he wore from day to day through the lecture series, I looked at him in amazement as if to wonder how a mind could control and hold such facts. This man has also written a little book along with the others I've named that probably would not be among his bestsellers and certainly wouldn't be the most provocative or profound but I have found it to be equally penetrating It's a book that has staying power.

5:23 It haunts you. You perhaps have read it. The Mark of the Christian is the name of this little 35-page booklet that I read in less than an hour last week. Now, if you haven't read it, don't, unless you're ready to be shot at from all sides by a man who knows how to do it. The Mark of the Christian is not a book about bumper stickers. or a little ichthuse hanging around the neck, or a cross on your lapel, or a Bible in your arm, or for that matter, even good solid doctrine, as important, essential as it may be.

6:24 It is a book that talks about the brand, the logo, the mark that will sustain an incredible impact upon the world about us. Guess what it is? You know the answer, don't you? It's love. The most magnetic force this world will ever have to reckon with. Love. but you and I know the answer. The problem is we don't bear the mark. That's why he writes the book.

7:10 We have the answers. We've got answers to questions people aren't even asking. We have trouble with those they ask, but we can answer those they never ask. Our problem is in the display of the real, authentic love of which Jesus Christ spoke. Now, I realize as you hear the word love, there flashes into your mind what flashes into most people's minds, whether Christian or non-Christian. And that's the idea of affection, sort of a romantic mood music kind of soft candlelight scene, the likes of which Elizabeth Barrett Browning probably had about her when she wrote, How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

8:07 And it's moving, and it's good, and there's nothing wrong with that. We need it. But that's not the mark of the Christian. As a matter of fact, that kind of love can often be very fickle. Like John O'Reilly's piece when he wrote, You gave me the key to your heart, my love. Then why do you make me knock? And she answers, oh, that was yesterday, saints above. Last night I changed the lock. We smile at that because it's painfully true. Painfully true. There's not a stranger here to that kind of experience. You have exhibited affection and had it turned off, and you were pained. You have given yourself to someone, and they rejected it, and you've been hurt.

9:05 You have wanted to have a love relationship, perhaps with someone else, and a romance that would lead to a permanent relationship. And it's been jilted. It's been twisted. It's turned sour. That's not the love I'm speaking of this morning. Important though that is. Last Sunday, we looked at the area of acceptance. Remember the question, how high is your AQ? Now that is a perfect entrance into your love relationship with one another. Because I am of the personal opinion that one cannot possess agape, authentic love without acceptance.

10:03 Until the road is paved clear with acceptance, there cannot be a free-flowing, genuine expression of the kind of love Jesus had, the kind of love Matheson spoke of when he wrote the words to the love that will not let me go. John chapter 13 is a penetrating chapter. If you don't know it by now, you will before the morning is over.

10:43 Remember last Sunday, Jesus has put beside him Judas at the place of honor. And of all things, he's dipped the morsel and given him the peace as if to say, this is my acceptance of you Judas. And Judas in turn turned on his heels and left and it was night. Remember?

11:10 Well in that moving scene it's easy to forget the first verse of this chapter where Jesus is described as the one who having loved his own loved them unto the end. And the word doesn't mean until the end of his life. It means to the uttermost. Jesus' love was one massive crescendo that just never diminished. He loved to the end. The lover of my soul. He is that kind of a lover. And Jesus was ready now, having given Judas this magnificent display of acceptance to turn and look at the long faces of his men and talk about that issue down at the grassroots level. You see, it prepared the way for what he wanted to say.

12:09 Now that's where we pick up the story in verse 31. Look at it with me. When therefore he had gone out, the he is a reference to Judas. When Judas had gone out of the room, Jesus said, Now is the Son of Man glorified. Before I go any further, you will read that word glorify in its root form five times in the next two verses. In your mind, remember, he is referring to his death, to the victory of Calvary. Not a tragedy, but a glory. Not an afterthought, but an eternal prearranged plan in which the Father had set it in motion, had empowered it and it was now only hours away.

13:12 What a glorious thing. The enemy has gone. Jesus Christ is to be glorified. That's what he means here. He says in verse 31, now the Son of Man is glorified. In other words, it's as if the last niche in the plan has taken its course. The cross is now coming. He's glorified. And God is glorified in him. If God is glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself. And will glorify him immediately. Jesus is saying, as if to say to his men, the plan of God has not been thwarted. My death is now a reality and glory will come to God because of it.

14:16 Then he looked around the room and probably saw 11 sad faces when they began to put together the mystery of this story he was communicating. You see, we've had 20 centuries to think back upon it. They were hearing it for the first time that night. And it was just beginning to fall in place and in their hearts was a great deal of anxiety. Look at verse 33. He says to them, little children.

14:55 You see, they were looking upon it as a child would look upon it. little children I'm with you a little while longer you shall seek me and as I said to the Jews where I am going you cannot come now I say to you also three things he told him in that verse. I'm departing soon. people will look for me they will seek for me they won't find me but they'll look no one can go with me I'm going alone now it's that part that it's that verse that really struck at their heart you see for three and a half years the hub of the wheel has been Jesus he's been the catalyst He's been the point of reference, the main shaft.

15:59 He has been the pillar in the whole plan for these disciples. And suddenly he's being uprooted, sent to the cross, and soon to leave the earth. The hub is leaving the wheel. When you take a hub away, all you have is a very weak rim. That's what they pictured. When you pull out the main shaft, you have a building that begins to shift and tilt and soon collapse. And that was what was happening. They saw their Savior leaving. The catalyst, the whole impact of their lives was now in temporary form. He was going. and they thought to themselves, how can we still sustain an impact?

16:56 How can we go on? It's the same question a family asks when for some unrevealed reason the mother is taken to the Lord. How do we go on? It's the same thing a group of employees ask in a young company where they all put their eggs in one basket because of one man's dream and he's taken. The company begins to weaken and begins to crumble. How can we go on? That was their feeling. And that is why Jesus went into the subject of a whole new impact, a whole new dynamic. In other words, when he, the living Christ, would be removed from their presence, he would be replaced with a whole new dynamic that would have a sustaining impact on a world around them. Look at what the impact was.

17:55 Look at what the dynamic was. Verse 34, he gives them a command. A new commandment I give to you. Now look at that for just a minute before you see the command itself. New. Was it new? Sure it was new. You notice the commandment is not love God. That's not new. Moses had written, love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, with all thy mind. Nothing new about that. They were to love the Lord and they had been loving the Lord, Jehovah, for centuries.

18:38 Neither did he say, love my word. The word had been preserved by the Jewish people. They were the bank in which God had made constant deposits of living truth. And they had carefully preserved and copied out and passed on from generation to generation. The scrolls of God's truth. They loved the truth. Ah, but this was new. This was a fresh, unique dynamic. What was it? Verse 34, that you love one another. That's the dynamic.

19:24 In other words, people who lived in the days of Jesus had witnessed the disciples' love for Jesus, but up till now, they had not been moved by the disciples' love for one another. They knew they were committed to the same cause, but they did not know up till this point that those men were committed to one another. That was what was to be new. That was the brand new dynamic that Jesus left with them. That you love one another. Now notice the new impact. Verse 35. By this, by what? By witnessing your love for the other person in this band, your love for your brothers in the Lord, by this all men will know you're my disciples.

20:27 If you have love for one another. That's a new dynamic. That's a new impact. Up till now, they've been impressed with me, says the Lord Jesus. My miracles, my teachings, my presence. Now I'm going to be leaving. And the sustaining impact that will have a reaching effect to this world will be your love for one another. Now, friends, I know you know that. That's part of our problem. our overexposure. I know that you know in theory what I am about to say, but that's not our problem.

21:11 Our problem is, in fact, not doing what we know. I appreciate Schaeffer's comment. He uses two words together all the way through this book. Observable love. I like that. Because the individual can say well look I have a lot of love for that person I'm just not the type that shows it then you ain't got it

21:40 Okay Well, I'm just not the type that releases it and lets it go to bring encouragement or to express it. I'm sorry That's not agape love Agape love reaches out it is a conquest of the will It doesn't wait for an invitation. Nor does it wait for a sweet response before it goes on and on.

22:12 You see, we need to go back and get a real look at this whole concept. Go back to verse 34. Look at the dynamic again. Jesus says, love one another. He uses a word that here again has become a household word in many Christian vocabularies. Agape. There is a movement called the Agape Movement. There are halfway houses called Agape Houses. There are little signs with fish around them that say Agape on the backs of cars and on Bibles. Agape, Agape, Agape. What is that? well in the days of John when he wrote this book he had available to him about four words he could have used three were well known to the world one was a word store gay and it spoke of patriotic love that's what made the chills go up the back of a Greek when he when he thought of his forefathers that had paved the way of freedom and had marched out and planted in the minds of the world that the Greek will win out.

23:30 It was a patriotism, a love for country. It's not the word he used. It's another word, eros. We get our term erotic from it. That tips our hand. You know what it means. It's a sensual love. even at times of perverted or sexual perverted love. And it ran its gamut among the Greeks. That's not the word, obviously. Then there's philos love. We get the word Philadelphia from it. Kind of a bad analogy, but this word philos means affection.

24:13 It's romance. It's the feel. It's the rewarded love that reaches out and is rewarded and reaches back and it just grows and grows because of a warmth of friendship. Nothing wrong with that. We all need that. More than most of us even want to admit. But that's not the highest form of love. The highest form is agape. And you know it is so unique. the world hardly even knew it existed. That's great, isn't it? God dreamed it up and deposited it into the minds of some writers of Scripture, and they in turn used it in the Testament we have today as the New Covenant, the New Testament. And it became the catalyst among the Christians.

25:08 It was an altogether Christian term. Never had it been contaminated, and it can't be. It's either there or it's not. Agape is deliberate refusal to respond negatively.

25:32 Agape is a conquest of the will. It is a love of the mind that says, I accept and therefore love that person as he is, as she is. I'm not blinded to the flaws. I see them. but that doesn't affect my love.

25:53 One man put it this way, agape is the spirit in the heart which will never seek anything but the highest good of others. It does not matter how its fellow men treat it, nor does it matter what and who its fellow men are. It does not even matter what their attitude is to it. It will never seek anything but their highest and their best good. Isn't that great? Love is the expression of the highest good for the other person, whatever it may be. An encouragement, a reproof, a word of instruction, financial assistance, help in the physical areas of life it just keeps coming back just keeps coming back I'm sure you've all seen this little toy that children have in their homes it's an inflatable toy that stands about oh four feet high and it comes in all different forms you've seen it It has a big weight in the bottom.

27:14 And a child can back off and just punch that thing. And it goes, comes right back up again. Child can take it and strangle it. Or can swing it around like my boy did when he had one. Swing it around and let it go. And it goes out in the front yard. Right back up again. You can't keep it down. It just keeps coming back. it just keeps coming back it has staying power that's the word when the world witnesses that staying power between you and your fellow sister or brother it'll have a real serious case of lockjaw it will be without an answer. How can that be?

28:10 Knowledge, I can put that together. Buildings, yeah, I can see why they need that. And we have buildings too. Leaders, yeah, we have to have leaders to go on. But love, the missing link in the world and that for which they long in the truth of their hearts. Now, Jesus left us with an example. You'll notice that this love is not just a concept. He's put it, he has incarnated it in himself. He says, love one another as I have loved you. There's your comparison. as I have loved you.

29:05 In other words, the disciples didn't have to imagine what this kind of love was all about. All they had to do was reflect on three and a half years in his presence. How had he loved them? Well, he had left the Father's presence with all that marvelous co-equality, perfect, uninterrupted harmony, and he had come to this earth Thank you. to live among people like you and me. Can you imagine anyone less attractive to come and live among than people like you and me? And there he came. And he chose those fellows, warts and all. He chose them knowing their failures, knowing their foolishness, knowing their lack, knowing their needs. He chose this man and that Matthew and he chose John and he chose Andrew and Simon and he got them all together.

30:04 He said, remember that men, when you think of love, reach out. Knowing the flaws, reach out. And then when they were in need of reproof, he leveled them. He said to them, Peter, on one occasion, you get behind me. You don't even sound like one of my own. He loved Peter too much to let him get away with that. Love doesn't mean that ooey gooey whatever it is that leaves the banks and floods the area, sort of the river of... Emotion. Love maintains its discernment, its quality, but it ever flows, continues to flow.

30:51 As a matter of fact, he says it will have an impact, verse 35, so that all men will know. See that word know? Doesn't mean theoretical knowledge, it says they'll know by experience. They'll see that badge. They'll know that you are mine.

31:14 You know, that is the hardest. It's easy to talk about it. But it is the hardest thing in the world to carry out. You cannot do it without the Spirit of God's power. Let me make that clear. I have an ichthus on the back of my Volkswagen. You know how long it took me to get it on there? Well, it took me 45 seconds. You know how much it cost? 39 cents. Nothing to it. I could stick an ichthus on the back of my car and zing around, and you know who knows I'm a Christian? Christians. That's right. The world doesn't know what that thing means. It just links me to my brother, my sister. You know my difficulty?

32:10 Is getting the real truth of that ichthus behind the steering wheel. That's my battle. That's where they discover I'm different. Anybody can stick a dumb ichthus in the back of his car, or bumper or whatever and zing all around and, you know, whistle the tunes and whatever.

32:33 So what? This was really driven home to me recently. I had lunch with a fellow from our church in a local restaurant. And he introduced me to a waitress. He apparently goes there quite a bit. And when she discovered that I belonged to this work and was a part of it down here, She said, oh, I know some of your kids. I said, really? How do you know they're all from this church? And I was really hoping she would say, oh, man, the way they love each other. You know what she said?

33:10 Well, she said they run in a group. And she says they all carry these big books. And they've got different covers. Some are leather and some have funny little things on the front. And when they sit down, they usually just order coffee. They don't leave much of a tip, she also added. And they spend a lot of time talking about what's in that book. She didn't know it was a Bible. She just said it was a book. You know what I learned from that exposure? I learned that carrying a certain kind of Bible links you to a certain church. It doesn't link you to Christ. the world can't put that piece of the puzzle together don't they just carry the bible or whatever you carry is going to do it Uh... That's the mark of a church.

34:07 It's not the mark of the Christian. Some time ago, I had a funeral service for a lady in our church who had lost her husband, a good man. They were faithful witnesses, and she and I talked about the funeral plan. She said, you know, we have a real desire. I know if my husband were sitting right here by me that he would say the same thing. We really want this funeral service to honor Jesus Christ. We really want the love of the Lord to be reaching out, especially do I have in mind one of our neighbors. And she said, we have tried different ways to reach them. We've given them little cassettes, and we've given them booklets and records, and we've had them for dinner, but we just have never really gotten through. I say to them, the woman was living alone, the neighbor woman and she said we just can't get through to her so I said okay let's really pray that she'll be reached some way with a message or something okay so we did the funeral morning came and that afternoon I slipped by their home for some coffee and and the neighbor woman was there I met her after the service and while I was sitting there I noticed that there was a steady stream of different members of the family of God coming, bringing food, some stopping by and telling the widow, look, we're available to help you.

35:50 You're welcome to use our car if you're in need. We'll help you clean. Let us know this or that. They went on and on and they talked. I just listened. A real demonstration of love. It just thrilled my heart to see that going on. I wasn't the only heart to thrill. I said goodbye, and a couple of days passed, and my phone rang, and the lady, the widow, called me, and she said, I just want to tell you what's happening. She said, remember the neighbor? And I said, yeah. She said, she stayed until everybody else had left. And she said to me, my, what love. these people must all belong to your family isn't that interesting that she made a carryover now she meant obviously blood family but what a perfect opportunity for this widow to turn right around and say yeah we're all from the same family as a matter of fact we have one hub one message one person, the object of our worship.

37:06 And she was able to share openly because of this demonstration, because it was released. And you know what? That's a living truth of what Jesus Christ said in verse 35. By this, people will know that you belong to me.

37:29 You have a nycthus? That's fine. but it just links you with a movement known by Christians. You have a cross, good. You wear it, fine. That links you to a religion. You carry a certain Bible, that links you to a church. But you have observable love that is authentic to the core, and that will link you to Jesus Christ. Your church, in fact, will become totally insignificant as your Christ becomes preeminent. It's remarkable, remarkable. Now, I would love to drive that home further, and I will before we're through, but I just want to show you the flow of thought. Look at Peter's response. It is indicative of a very practical thing that happens when this subject is presented.

38:27 Look at what Peter says. Simon Peter said to him, Lord, where are you going? Can you believe that? He hasn't mentioned going anywhere for the last few sentences.

38:52 Where's Peter's head? Well, it's back up in verse 33. And there was a great big massive parenthesis around verses 34 and 35 as far as his experience was concerned. I don't think Peter ever heard what Jesus said about love. You know why?

39:15 Well, because Peter was Peter. And Peter wanted to be on that trip to wherever Jesus was going. And he said, Lord, where are you going? And he said then, later, why can't I go along? I'll lay down my life for you. Now listen, Peter gets an A plus for loyalty. And I believe he was sincere.

39:44 But Peter did not really hear what Jesus said about love. I personally believe that's the reason later on in John's gospel chapter 21, Jesus has a personal lesson for Peter on what it means to love. What it's all about. Because he missed this one. You know, it's like that here in this congregation. It's remarkable. Those that need the message on love the most aren't even hearing it. And those of you that need it the least, you just drink it in. That's the way it is in human nature. Unless something like this is said to sort of jar the mind back. There are some Peters who are thinking, well, let's get on to the big things. What's bigger? than love. What's more important than the single ingredient that will stun your neighbor and those that you work with?

40:45 The greatest genuine job of proselyting under the Spirit's power is done in this area of love. You with your sister and brother in the family. Jesus said, Oh, truly I say to you, a cock shall not crow until you have denied me three times, Peter. He sort of brought him back to reality. You may mean that, and I take it seriously, but even though you're sincere, Peter, it really won't work like that. Now, I don't want any person this morning to leave this church service occupied with the future plan of God for Christ or for you. That's important and as a matter of fact it is one of the fundamental doctrines of the faith and I would live and die for it because I believe in Jesus Christ's coming. But I want to talk as I close this message about the presence of love or the lack of it in the lives of you who really believe you're committed to Jesus Christ. Whether or not you're a part of this church is immaterial. I have no one in mind. I have a truth that I want to communicate. And I wish you would think of my voice for the next four, five, six minutes as just God's voice box saying one thing to one person and one to another, or maybe taking the same truth and communicating one series of things to one and something completely different in the same truth to another. Okay. Let's just act as though you and I are talking about this together in the comfort

42:50 of your room right now. I believe there are three things that ought to be remembered about authentic love. First, it is unconditional in its expression. If love is real love, then it doesn't have to have the conditions. As a matter of fact, Jesus, with the young ruler who was rich, the very first thing it says is Jesus loved him. And he's the one that turned away and rejected. It says he loved him. Unconditional. No ifs. No promises. You do this and then I'll really love you. This actually happened. A phone in the home of a Boston family of socialites, the whole scene, the loose living, the wife swapping, that whole bit, one in.

43:56 And a phone booth in California connected together about the end of the Vietnam War. on this end a mother picked up the phone and answered and on this end was a son who had just come back from the war and there was an instant delight in hearing each other's voice and the boy said mom I'd like very much to bring a fellow home with me she said that's fine couple of three days bring whoever you want to that's good no I want you to understand something about him he doesn't have a right leg He doesn't have a right arm. He doesn't have a right eye. And his face is terribly disfigured. The mother listened and said, well, yeah, that's okay. You know, a couple of days, that's fine.

44:51 Now he says, mother, you still don't understand. I want him to live with us. I want him to be a part of our family. I want it to be permanent. The mother responded, well, wait, I'm not sure in the click. and the dial tone.

45:13 A few hours later, same phone rang in Boston. There was a police sergeant from California on this end. And he said to the mother, we have a young man here who has only one leg and one arm, and his identification shows that he's your son. He's just taken his life. You see, it was too painful to ask directly, so he handled it indirectly. The conditional love of the mother was as if to say, we don't want you at all.

46:03 Agape love doesn't have to have arms or legs. It doesn't have to have proof. It's just there. It just reaches out. Authentic love is unselfish in its motive It is Paul said this kind of love suffers long and is kind This kind of love doesn't keep a record of when it is done wrong It isn't easily provoked It hardly notices when it is rejected there's no end to its endurance this kind of love reaches and never waits to be rewarded it's Calvary love while he hung there on the cross, the saliva from their mouths dried on his body and the blood from his body still on their fists, he died.

47:16 Absolutely unselfish. Jesus said, men, when this kind of love is demonstrated from your head and heart and feet and hands, the world won't have an answer. Authentic love is unlimited in its benefits. That's the third.

47:45 Unconditional in its expression. Unselfish in its motive. Unlimited in the benefits. You know with this kind of love, you win every time. you do. You know why you win every time?

48:07 Because there is the greatest satisfaction simply in the demonstrating of it. Just the expression of it even the vulnerability as hard as it is to be on that cutting edge just the expressing of it is satisfaction enough to bring the benefits that are unlimited. Dale Galloway has written a book, Dream a New Dream, about a broken life of his that was patched up by the grace and love of God.

48:46 And in it, he conveys this story, and I close with it. A children's song says, love is something if you give it away, give it away. it's just like a magic penny you end up having more I love the story of the little boy who moved into a new neighborhood. He was shy and quiet. His name was Chad.

49:16 One day he came home and said, You know what, Mom? Valentine's Day is coming, and I want to make a valentine for everyone in my class. I want them to know I love them. His mother's heart sank as she thought, I wish he wouldn't do that because every afternoon she would watch all the children coming home from school and they'd be laughing and hanging on to each other, books under their arms, all except Chad. He always walked behind them. She thought, however, she would go along with Chad. So glue and paper and crayons were purchased, and for three weeks, he painstakingly made 35 valentines.

50:08 When the day came to deliver the valentines, he was so excited. This was his day. He stacked those valentines under his arm and ran out the door. His mother thought, it's going to be a tough day for Chad. I'll bake him some cookies and have some milk ready when he comes home from school and maybe that will ease the pain. He won't be getting very many valentines.

50:39 That afternoon she had the warm cookies and the milk out on the table. She went over to the window and scratched a little bit of the frost off the glass and looked out. Sure enough, here came the big gang of children laughing, valentines under their arms. They had really done well.

50:59 And there was her Chad. Coming up behind, he was walking faster than usual and she thought, bless his heart, he's ready to burst into tears. His arms are empty. He doesn't have a valentine. He came in the house and she said, Darling, mom has some warm cookies and milk for you. Let's sit down. But his face was all aglow. He just marched right by her and all he could say was, Not a one.

51:36 Not a single one. I didn't forget one. they all know I love them. It isn't a song until it's sung. It isn't a bell until it's rung. It isn't love until it's given away. Let's bow together this morning. Your children know you love them. I mean the grown ones, those that are married. and those that they have married. Do those people that you say very little to know that you love them?