An Anatomy of Forgiveness

0:46 It could have gone another way. Lord, I ask that you would speak now, guide and govern my speaking and our hearing. Speak, Lord, for your servants are listening. In the name of Jesus, we do pray. Amen.

1:09 During this month of October, as you've seen, our theme is Growing in Truth. The desire we have as a ministerial team is to guide us not only in sermon, but also in Bible study around some of the doctrinal truths of Christianity. So spend some time reviewing those areas where there has been some historic as well as some contemporary division among Christians in what we proclaim and what we believe. I want to be clear that the goal this month is not to further those divisions. The goal is not to make some conclusion about who's right and who's wrong. The goal is not to make you think what I think. I've often reminded you that at Alpha Street my job is not to make you think what I think my job is to make sure you're thinking but rather the goal is to share how some of these areas of belief are critical for how we live our daily lives to help you come to an understanding of what you believe understand why others believe differently and learn to respect our difference without becoming divisive.

2:24 Last week we began this journey looking at the different ways Christians practice communion, realizing that the unity is found in the message of communion, which reminds us that no matter how we take it, no matter how often we receive it, we are all sinners who are saved by grace alone. Today I'm asking for your prayers and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I want to launch out into some dangerous and difficult waters as we look at the different Christian perspectives on forgiveness.

3:03 I'm going to ask you to turn with me in your Bibles to the last chapter of the book of Genesis, Genesis chapter 50, to hear a reading of the Word of God from the New King James Version of the Bible, Genesis chapter 50. And it is my prayer that no one on your pew has any difficulty locating the book of Genesis. Genesis chapter 50, beginning in verse number 15. Listen for the word of the Lord.

4:54 That's your Bible. That's a good place to underline. But God. Meant it for good. In order to bring it about as it is this day. To save many people alive. Now therefore do not be afraid. I will provide for you and your little ones. And he comforted them. and spoke kindly to them. Today I want to teach and talk about an anatomy of forgiveness. You may be seated in the presence of the Lord. An anatomy of forgiveness. On September 6th, 2018, Dallas police officer Amber Geiger, after coming off her shift, claimed she was so exhausted that she didn't realize she was trying to enter apartment 1478, although she lived in apartment 1378.

6:15 We don't know how she gained entrance because, Kevin, her story changed three times. First, the door was locked. Second, the door was unlocked. And third, the door was ajar. We don't know how she got in, but we know what happened when she did. When she entered apartment 1478, although she lived in apartment 1378, she encountered 26-year-old Botham Shem John.

6:51 Black man. Innocent. No criminal record. Leader of praise and worship at his church. Yes, yes, yes. who was sitting unarmed in his boxer shorts in his apartment. And Amber Geiger claimed that when she opened the door to 1478, although she lived in 1378, and saw Botham Shem John sitting in his boxer shorts unarmed in his own house, that she felt threatened for her life. she immediately pulled out her firearm shot, fired and killed an innocent black man unarmed sitting in boxer shorts in his own apartment because she felt threatened for his life the outrage over his death was immediate especially especially in black communities.

8:01 Because we've seen this before. We've been down this road too many times. And if you were like me, you predicted that another black life would go without justice. And sure enough, signs of a brewing injustice were at play. Five search warrants were issued for her apartment that were never enacted upon by her co-workers in the Dallas police force. It took 18 days for her to be released from active duty as a police officer. Then the media did what the media does. They criminalized the black victim. they said that both them john had minuscule amounts of marijuana in his apartment as if that qualified his killing while at the same time the racist and the violent social posts of amber geiger never saw the light of day and if you were like me you told yourself we've been here before. You began to predict that another black life taken by another police officer was going to go without justice.

9:28 his family, the community, begged for justice. The trial began this year on September 23rd, and if you were like me and would be honest, you watched not hoping she would be convicted, but praying she would.

9:50 And if you were like me and you'd be honest, maybe you sat and watched her when she took the stand and you had no compassion for her as she pretended to cry over killing that young black man. And if you were like me, you were shocked, surprised, and ready to have a party when on October 1st, the verdict came in that she was guilty of the murder of Botham Sham John. That verdict felt like a victory to us. It felt like vindication for his life. But the verdict, the victory, and the vindication was short-lived when a few days later, we found out the sentence. Ten years and eligible for parole in five.

10:46 She can be released after five years for killing an unarmed, innocent black man in his boxer shorts sitting in his own apartment. And although we don't like to mention it, that trial, that verdict, and that sentence exposed the racial disparity of sentencing in our legal injustice system of the United States of America. she will get out in five years while Melissa Alexander a black woman in Florida who was being assaulted by her husband took a gun and shot a warning shot in the air and the same state of Florida that acquitted George Zimmerman for standing his ground against Trayvon Martin convicted Melissa Alexander for shooting a warning shot in the air and gave her 20 years in jail.

11:58 Amber Geiger will be out in five for killing an unarmed, innocent black man in his underwear in his own apartment and Melissa Alexander will be in jail for 20 for firing a warning shot in the air. And if you're like me, this whole thing touched a raw nerve that reminded especially African Americans that racism is not dead in the United States of America. I know that makes some of us uncomfortable. It makes your co-worker uncomfortable. We don't like talking about it. We don't want to acknowledge the systemic racism that's in every institution. We don't like talking about race.

12:52 And you would get sent to HR at your job if you ask the question I'm about to ask you right now. What if? what if a black man entered the unarmed apartment of a white woman and said he felt threatened for his life and killed her would the trial have gone down the same way if it was a black man who was guilty of killing a white woman and if there's any shaking of your head in your spirit then you've already acknowledged that race still matters. in our justice system. Hear me, beloved, I am not trying to light the fire under your black rage.

13:46 I'm trying to get you to understand how this trial put my Christianity in tension with my blackness. that the Christ in me was fighting with the black on me. Because my Christianity was in tension with my blackness, I struggle with this thing.

14:25 Because my Christianity is in tension with my blackness, I struggle with watching a black bailiff smooth over and comb the hair of a white woman guilty for killing a black man. The Christian in me said, oh, how compassionate. The black in me said, oh. Because my Christianity's intention with my blackness, I'm conflicted when I see Judge Tammy Kemp come down out of her stand and hug Amber Geiger and give her her Bible. the Christian in me says ooh I ought to applaud that she's hugging her and giving her a Bible but the black in me says that if that was a black man sitting in that defendant's chair and a white judge would a white judge have ever come down and embraced a black man who was just found guilty of killing a white woman because my Christianity was in tension with my blackness I'm struggling when Botham John's mother Asked the Dallas Cowboys To take a knee in protest Of her son's killing And the entire team Said no And because of that act of moral cowardice, I have vowed I will never support the Dallas Cowboys another day in my life because they were too cowardice to make a stand.

16:22 No more cowboys for me. Chicago Bears, here I come. Hey! Because my Christianity is in tension with my blackness, I struggled watching what you're about to see right now. I don't want to... say twice or for the hundredth time what you've or how much you've taken from us. I think you know that.

17:22 but I just I hope you go to God with all the guilt, all the bad things you may have done in the past. Each and every one of us may have done something that we're not supposed to do. if you truly are sorry. I know I can speak for myself. I forgive you.

18:03 And I know if you go to God and ask Him, He will forgive you. And I don't think anyone can say it. Again, I'm speaking for myself. Not even bad for my family. But I love you just like anyone else. And I'm not going to say I hope you rot and die just like my brother did, but I personally want the best for you. And I wasn't going to ever say this in front of my family or anyone, but... I don't even want you to go to jail.

18:56 I want the best for you. because I know that's exactly what Botham would want you to do. And the best would be give your life to Christ. I'm not going to say anything else. I think giving your life to Christ would be the best thing that Botham would want you to do. again I love you as a person I don't wish anything bad on you. I don't know if this is possible, but can I give her a hug please? Peace. Yes.

19:53 Those who have never seen that, that was at the sentencing when Brant John was allowed to speak. Botham's younger brother.

20:28 And because we differ on what forgiveness is and how it looks like, his comments that day have sparked different reactions within the body of Christ. On the one hand are those who say this is the epitome of forgiveness. This is exactly what Jesus was speaking about. Listen to a young man whose brother has been killed saying, I love you. I wish nothing harmful to you. I don't even want you to go to jail. Can I give you a hug? I know people who watched this and cried and said, that's what Christ wants from us. The judge was crying. On the other hand, there are those who say this is a shame. Another example of black people forgiving too easily and too quickly. I have a preacher friend who called this post-traumatic slave disorder.

21:27 that this is what slavery does to you. On the one hand, the epitome of Christianity. On the other hand, post-traumatic slave disorder. And if you're like me, and you'll be honest, you were probably somewhere in the middle, and your response was, you're better than me. I don't know if I could have done that that soon. Maybe when she get out of jail, but I don't know about... There are different responses to that act of forgiveness. Now, the one thing we ought to hold in common, regardless of what you see in this video and how you feel, the one thing we ought to hold in common is an understanding that forgiveness is at the core of the life and the ministry of Jesus Christ. That if Jesus was about anything, it was about forgiving.

22:28 And when you took that walk down that aisle and you gave your hand to that preacher and they dunked you in that water, you are signing up to forgive people when they've done you wrong. It's all Jesus was about. His parable of the unjust steward is about forgiveness. When he tells Peter 70 times 7, that's about forgiveness. Hear the words of warning when Jesus says, you've got to forgive people because if you don't forgive others, God cannot forgive you. And you don't want to risk your salvation over somebody else's offense. Forgiveness is at the core of what it means to be a Christian. But what forgiveness is, when it ought to happen, what it looks like, and to what extent it takes us is highly debated. I'm not here this morning to stand before you to cast judgment on how Botham's family is processing the death of a son and a brother.

23:31 I'm not here to give criticism on whether Amber Geiger's remorse was sincere or not. I'm here to talk about forgiveness because I have found out at this stage of life what many of you already know. And that is that at some point in your life, you're going to struggle with forgiveness. At some point in your life, someone is going to do something so evil and so ugly against you that's going to put your Christianity in tension with your identity. and you're going to find out forgiving is not as easy as some people would lead you to believe. Has anybody ever been there? Have you ever gone through ugly? Have you ever dealt with malicious? Have you ever dealt with lowdown? Have you ever dealt with a repeat offender? Have you ever dealt with somebody who knew what they did and meant to do what they did and you have struggled?

24:27 Care how big your Bible is? care how much Jesus you say you love at some moment you are going to struggle with what it means to forgive and in that moment I want you to remember not only Brent John I want you to remember what goes down in Genesis chapter 50 Thank you. But they don't go to church.

24:56 For those who don't go to church. Genesis. Genesis. Dr. Judy would tell you that Genesis is a book of the story of the patriarchs and the matriarchs of Israel. In Genesis, we hear the story of Adam and Eve. In Genesis, we get the story of Noah. Genesis introduces us to Abraham and Sarah, Rebecca and Isaac, Jacob and Leah and Rachel. But it would surprise you that the bulk of the book of Genesis is not about Abraham and Sarah.

25:49 It's not about Isaac and Rebecca. It's not about Jacob and Leah and Rachel. The bulk of the book of Genesis is about Joseph. Joseph, if you remember, is the 11th of 12 male children born to Jacob. Joseph and Benjamin, however, are the only sons birthed by Jacob's true love, Rachel. And because of that, Joseph is favored by his father, Jacob, above his other brothers. The trouble really begins in chapter 37 when Joseph dreams of greatness. And it's not the dream of being great that got him in problem. The problem became that he shared it with his older brothers. And his dream of being great and sharing it, coupled with the favor of his father Jacob, triggered the envy and the anger of his older brothers.

26:54 They're so envious and angry of Joseph that they throw him in a pit and want to kill him. They wind up selling him into slavery and triggering a chain of bad event after bad event after bad event after bad event in Joseph's life. He's enslaved. He's falsely imprisoned. He is betrayed and abandoned by people he helped out. But the Bible says that after every event, Joseph realized God was still with him. And because God was with him and God had favored him and God had gifted him, by the time you get to chapter 21, Joseph has been elevated to the highest seat in the land underneath Pharaoh. Joseph by chapter 41 by the gift of God and the presence of God is now vice Pharaoh of Egypt the greatest nation in all the land.

27:59 Nobody's higher than Joseph other than Pharaoh. Chapter 42 Joseph is put in a place all of us want to be in when somebody's done you wrong. He sits in the highest seat of authority in the land, and his brothers who did him wrong have come to Egypt looking for food. They don't recognize Joseph, but Joseph recognizes them. And look at the sweet spot Joseph's in. He's got all the authority, and the ones who did him wrong now stand before him and need his help. What a nice place to be in. When people who've done you wrong need you.

28:55 What would you do? Well, if Brent Jean upset you, Joseph will as well. Given the opportunity to do whatever he wants to those who did him wrong, listen to the words of Joseph. Don't be afraid. I'm not God. What you did, you meant for evil. But God worked it for my good. And now hundreds of lives will be saved. And I will take care of you and your children. Do you hear the forgiveness in those words of Joseph? And I want to dissect it this morning really quickly and give you what I believe are four critical components of forgiveness. Let's do an anatomy of forgiveness real quick so we may understand what it looks like and what it calls us to do and the extent of it.

30:00 What is forgiveness? Hang out with Joseph right here. And I suggest to you that the first critical component of forgiveness is your deliberate decision to release yourself from the anger you feel from the offense. a deliberate decision to let go of the anger you feel from the one who did you wrong that's what you see in joseph that's what you heard in both of them's brother two men who have decided i'm not gonna let my anger control me i'm not gonna let my hurt control me i'm not gonna allow my feelings to control me. I will not be guided by my anger.

30:46 Now, let me tell you why it's real quiet on your pew. because when people have offended you, when someone's done you wrong, anger is an addictive emotion. And the reason so many people you know struggle with forgiveness is because they are addicted to being angry. Anger puts you in an empowering position, because when I'm angry with you, I feel justified in talking to you how I want to talk to you, treating you how I want to treat you, doing whatever I want because you've done me wrong. And because I'm addicted to being angry, every time I see you, I'm going to treat you the way I think I want to and tell God it's all right. anger is addictive and a lot of folk you know are ruining their lives and the lives of people around them because they are addicted to being angry what anger does is allow me to put you in a place of fear wondering when you're going to reap the wrath of my anger And we like making people afraid.

32:06 Okay, if you were ever raised in the neighborhood of an urban environment, I was raised in the neighborhood. Anybody been raised in the neighborhood? No, I'm talking about this. I'm talking about in the hood. If you've ever been raised in the hood, you know this language. that if you've ever done someone wrong, you know what it's like to fear when they look you in the eye and say, you better watch your back. You know what that is? That's an angry statement meant to induce fear because they believe that fear will somehow help their woundedness. As long as you're afraid of me and I have the right to be angry, I think I'm going to be healed. But at the end of the day, neither my anger nor your fear will deal with my woundedness. So watch it. When Joseph deals with his brothers, repeatedly he tells them this, don't be afraid.

33:10 What he's saying to them is, listen, I'm not going to deal with you out of my anger. I'm not going to deal with you out of my hurt. I'm not going to deal with you out of my frustration. Yes, you did me wrong. And yes, it hurt me. And yes, I'm angry, but my anger and my hurt do not control my response. The reason Joseph can let go of the anger, there are two. One is that he's taken the time to work through his emotions.

33:44 Watch what happens. Whenever Joseph confronts his brothers about what they did, start in chapter 37, read to chapter 50. It's only 13 chapters. You can do it today. whenever Joseph confronted his brothers the Bible says he had to leave the room to cry so he could come back in he does not break down in emotion with them he leaves to handle his anger to handle his hurt because he realizes if I deal with you out of my anger and my hurt I will never be able to forgive you, so he takes the time to work out his emotions. As a matter of fact, chapter 43, verse 31, the Bible says that when Joseph left his brothers, Judy, he didn't come back until he controlled himself. Because he realized that anger and hurt will put you in a place where you're not controlling yourself. And if you're going to be a child of God, you've got to learn to control your emotions, control your hurt, control your anger, and not take it out on everybody and anybody.

34:50 You've got to work out your emotions. and it took him some time. He does not see his brothers the first time and just forgive them. Sometimes forgiveness takes time. And you are not less than a Christian if you don't forgive immediately and instantaneously. Sometimes you've got to work through your hurt. You've got to work through your anger. forgiveness is not just a destination forgiveness is a journey that you have to choose to begin let me say that again forgiveness is not just a destination it is a journey and you've got to make a decision to take the first step and the first step is not their apology oh oh if you're waiting for them to say, I'm sorry. You may never begin the journey of forgiving someone because you can't wait for somebody else to be apologetic for what they did. The first step in forgiving is not the apology. It's your decision to let the anger go. Joseph is able to let it go, one, because he's worked through his emotions.

36:15 But watch this, number two. I believe Joseph is able to let it go because when he sees his brothers, he also remembers where he's sitting. Okay, here it is. You missed it. When the past of what they did is in front of him, he can look around and see where the Lord has brought him. And when he compares what they did with where he now is, He can say, you meant it for evil, but God worked it together for my good. And when you've got some, but God on your resume, it doesn't matter what they did. You see what God has done. Is there anybody here who's ever been wounded, but you know how God worked it for your good? somebody holler but God listen I came about to tell you if you don't memorize no scripture memorize that right there if you don't know for God so love the world you ought to know but God if you don't know they that wait on the Lord you ought to know but God if you don't know the Lord is my shepherd you ought to know but God if you remember but God it will remind you that the offender is not in charge God is.

37:39 Joseph, I finally figured out why black folk are so forgiving. I finally figured out why African Americans can forgive America for its racism. Because if anybody as a people has but God in our history, it's people who look like you and me. Slavery, but God. Jim Crow, but God. Bull Connor, but God. George Wallace, but God. Emmett Till, but God. Four Little Girls, but God. Ronald Reagan, but God. Donald Duck, but God.

38:28 We know what God is able to do. Now, can I push it? Be careful, because any time you make the deliberate decision to let go of the anger, Satan is going to show up.

38:56 Don't look at nobody. Don't look at nobody. Don't. Don't. And when you decide to let go of the anger, here's what Satan's gonna try to put in your head. You ready? You a fool. After all she did to you, you just going to let that go? Don't be stupid. She wouldn't do that to you.

39:22 Satan wants you to feel foolish for letting go of the anger. But here's a word for someone. Letting go of the anger does not mean there won't be consequence. It means I'm not going to let my anger drive the consequence that comes to you. One of the consequences of your offense may be that we're not going to be reconciled. Hear me, forgiveness and reconciliation are not synonymous. There's nothing that says after you offended me, if I forgive you, we got to go to lunch. It may mean I don't trust you anymore. Listen, there's a difference between revenge and justice.

40:23 I get that Brent Botham doesn't, Brent Jean doesn't want Amber Guy to go to jail. He doesn't want revenge. But justice demands that there be payment for the death of an unarmed innocent black man. Revenge is my seeking personal retribution. justice is the legal requirement for the consequence of the offense and if we erase the justice it affects the community justice is necessary to maintain communal relations Don't let the devil make you think you're a fool for letting go of the anger. Because when I let go of my anger, it's not for you.

41:08 When I let go of my anger, I'm not trying to bless you. When I let go of my anger, I'm trying to bless me. Because one of the first steps of forgiveness is a deliberate decision to let go of the anger. Can I give you number two? It's gonna get real quiet, it's gonna get real quiet. forgiveness requires a difficult discussion about the truth of the offense it requires a difficult discussion about the truth of the offense watch what happens y'all read read read joseph's story when he gets home starts in chapter 37 ends in chapter 50 50 that's 13 chapters. You can read it right now. When Joseph's brothers come to him and they don't recognize him, Joseph gives him a pop quiz. He says, tell me about your family. And watch what the brothers say. Well, we've got a dad, Jacob, he back in Israel. And our younger brother, Benjamin, is back there with him. My name is Reuben. This is Judah. That's Issachar. That's Nephthali. That's Dan. That's Levi. Oh, and we had another brother, but he ain't here no more.

42:21 They never admit, watch it, this is the way it goes down. Joseph, who's the brother they did wrong, says, tell me about your family. They name all the brothers, and then when they speak about Joseph, they say, and he passed away. And Joseph's response is, that ain't what happened.

42:47 That's not true. So he says to them in verse 50, you meant it for evil. I want you to know that I know what you did. I can't let you be in my presence and we've not discussed the truth of the offense and you get to walk around as if you didn't do anything and I'm going to hold it in as if you didn't do anything because watch this, because now we're both walking in a lie.

43:14 And so in order for there to be forgiveness, I've got to be able to disclose it because very rarely can you forgive when the offense is not made known to the offender. Say that again, pastor. Very rarely can you forgive when the offense is not made known to the offender. I'm going to say it again. Very rarely can you forgive if the offense is not made known to the offender. now I'm not saying the offender will acknowledge it I'm not saying they're going to apologize for it I'm not saying it's even going to matter it's not about their response it's about you being able to share truth so that you can forgive because you cannot forgive where you maintain a lie it's got to be truth I know you don't like that so let me give you some scripture here's what Jesus said one of my favorite verses Matthew 18 if somebody offends you don't wait for them to come and apologize you go to them and share with them the offense you feel because you can't forgive anybody until you share with them how they offended you it ain't got to be ugly it doesn't have to be contentious it doesn't have to be vulgar it could go simply like this kevin i'm so glad they elected you to the board of deacons but before you begin serving, I just want to let you know that what happened back in 87 left a bad taste in my mouth. I'm glad the Lord has moved us on, but I just want you to know I didn't appreciate what you did. Real simple. Somebody, the reason you're having trouble forgiving is because you're still holding on to an offense that you've not shared with the one who offended you.

44:53 And maybe, just maybe, Earl, maybe that's why African Americans also struggle to forgive white America for its racism. Because most of white America doesn't want to have the difficult discussion about the history of race.

45:15 Do you know how many people on the other side want to distance themselves from a racist past in America? Do you know how many times I've heard, well, I never enslaved anybody and I've never been prejudiced and I've never been racist? No, you're the benefactor of slavery. You're the benefactor of racism. You're the benefactor of prejudice. And until you're ready to have the conversation, we can't really forgive.

45:44 You don't want to talk about systemic racism. You don't want to talk about over police communities. You don't want to talk about media criminalization of black men. You don't want to talk about underfunded schools. You don't want to talk about redlining districts. You don't want to talk about voter ID laws. You don't want to have the conversation. If you look at the history of South Africa, when they were trying to repair and rebuild from apartheid, the very first thing Mandela and Tutu mandated was racial conversation. Because if we don't have a truthful talk about what happened, forgiveness will never be authentic.

46:33 You've got to make a deliberate decision to let go of the anger. You may have to have a difficult discussion about the truth of the offense. Number three, you have to decline to disclose the offense to other people. You know why some people struggle forgiving? Because you keep replaying the offense too much. You keep sharing it with people who don't need to know.

47:06 And one of the signs you know you're on the road to forgiveness is when you stop talking about it so much. Does it have to come up in every conversation? Dang, I asked you how you were feeling. I don't need to know. Here's what I love about Joseph. Read the story when you get home. Starts in chapter 37 and ends in chapter 50. It's 13 chapters. You can read it right now.

47:35 Whenever Joseph confronted his brothers about their sin against him, he never did it in the presence of the Egyptians. He always took them to the side because Joseph knows Pharaoh loves Joseph. If Pharaoh knew what his brothers had done to him, Pharaoh would have had them all killed. So Joseph makes the decision, I can't tell everybody what you did because if I did, they would kill you. You've got to make a decision not to disclose the offense to everybody. Now, D.C. V., let me tell you why that's hard. I'm going to tell you exactly why it's hard. because we like people to dislike who we dislike. We don't like it when people like who we dislike. Let me give you an example.

48:31 Let's say Judy and I have an issue. Judy's done me wrong. She ran her mouth. She said some things she shouldn't have said. Sorry, Judy. And she did some foul stuff to me. Right? And I'm living with it. I'm wrestling with it. I haven't forgiven her. And Judy gets up to preach one Sunday. And when she preaches, 13 people join church. and everybody starts shouting and clapping, and it's burning a hole in my soul to watch people clap for Judy. Because I don't like Judy. And I want you not to like Judy. So when you come to me and you tell me, ooh, Pastor, Judy, bless my soul. Girl, let me tell you about Judy Frenchess Williams.

49:11 Before you do all that, let me tell you about Judy. And now I start disclosing the offense because I want you to dislike who I dislike. But what we see from Joseph is that if I want to forgive you, I've got to stop telling people who don't need to know.

49:32 Here's how you know you're on the road to forgiveness. When I'm not trying to sully your name, when I'm not trying to ruin your reputation, when I'm not trying to taint your witness, when I'm not trying to threaten your job. One of the biggest signs of immaturity is you showing up at somebody's job. Well, well. Why you got to threaten my paycheck? You know what? Difficult decision. Let go of the anger. Difficult discussion. You got to talk about the truth. I'm not going to disclose it to everybody. But watch the last thing that's important. In order to forgive, you've got to determine that the destiny of the offender is in the gracious hands of God.

50:25 That whatever happens to you is in the hands of God. Watch what Joseph says. It's important. He says, listen, don't be afraid. Why? Because I'm not God. I've put this in God's hands. And whatever your destiny is, it will not be dictated by my anger, but rather by God's grace. Now, before you allow this to cause you to be hypocritical and hide your desire for revenge behind God, because you know saints would do that. Saints will say they put it in God's hands and they'll say, and God going to handle him.

51:08 Girl, I ain't got to worry about him. God got him. The Lord saw what he did. I ain't got to be involved in it. And then, you know, y'all throw scripture on it because the Bible says, be not deceived. God is not mocked. Whatever man sow, a man also shall reap. Girl, God got this. That's not what this is. this is a determination that I'm going to take my hand off of it and I'm going to put it in the hands of God how do you do that Jesus made it real clear pray for them who despitefully use you that the way you give it over to God is you begin praying for the one who offended you now the Bible does not say pray about them the Bible says pray for them there's a difference praying about you means I'm still telling God everything about you but praying for you is when I say God bless him it's when I say Lord heal his heart it's when I say Lord touch his marriage Lord bless his children Lord promote him on his job and if you're having trouble forgiving I dare you to pray for him One of the ways you begin forgiving someone is praying for them.

52:23 God, use her. God, bless her so good she'll never be that ugly again. Lord, purge the darkness out of her heart. Pray for them. So I close today by asking a real simple question. No shout.

52:48 Who are you struggling to forgive? Forgiveness is difficult, but it's not impossible. You've got to make the first step deciding not to operate in anger. You've got to decide that you may need to have a difficult discussion.

53:12 You've got to stop disclosing it. You've got to pray for them and put them in the hands of God. Lord, we bow before you as those who know what it's like to be wounded and offended, to be mistreated, and to carry around the anger of the offense within us. Today, Lord, I'm praying for my brother and my sister, who's unknowingly addicted to being angry.

53:41 Lord, that you would let them realize that anger and the hurt should not control how they respond. heal them oh God teach them how to work through those emotions that they may be like Joseph and control themselves I pray for someone Lord who's harboring an offense that they've not shared with the offender create oh Lord a venue a way a medium for them to share if it's an email a letter a direct conversation because very rarely can you forgive an offense that the offender is not aware of Lord teach me how not to disclose this to everybody and anybody that in order to be healed of it I've got to stop speaking about it Lord I pray for them this morning I pray that you would put your hand upon them that you would work miracles in their lives that you would go exceedingly and abundantly above all that they could ask or need you to do.

54:44 Lord, be so good to them that they can never be evil to anyone else again. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Before we leave today, bless God.