Bill Johnson, Kris Vallotton, Dann Farrelly Communication Regarding Shawn Bolz | Bethel Church

30:54 Chris, very nobly takes all the responsibility when it really comes back to me, you know. Both Chris and Danny were much more willing to pursue bringing correction, not just the initial correction, but actually walking through long-term this whole journey. And I was the part of the process that slowed it down.

31:32 You know, sometimes your strongest trait becomes your weakest trait. And one of the things I do well is I believe in people when they don't deserve it. But it can move into what some have called unsanctified mercy. And that's actually what I did. I became so not impressed with the gift. I don't do gifts over character. But I became so committed to seeing Sean protected and coming to a place of health and that I just was foolish. And how it started is I believed,

32:16 I didn't believe the allegations were true initially. I think probably all of us wondered, man, this can't be true. We love this guy. We've spent time with him. He spent time here. But over a period of time, it became obvious it was true. But I became blind to it because my loyalty to him as a friend, And as somebody who had ministered deeply to me, as Chris mentioned to him and so many people, authentically, that we became blind to the fact, I became blind to the fact that there was a real issue that needed to be addressed. I'm completely blind to it. I mean, I see it now. It's embarrassing to see what was right in front of you all the time. And I were surrounded by such an incredible group of leaders and team.

33:06 Phenomenal discernment. On a number of occasions, I've come to Chris. I'll ask him a question. How do you see this situation? I trust your perspective more than mine. And there are just times where you just trust in other people's gift more than your own. But this was an occasion when I didn't do that and should have. Because I easily could have seen through their eyes, through their heart, through their discernment. something that was really, really obvious, as obvious as the nose on your face. And I didn't see it, I missed it. I missed it because, you know, just not wanting to believe something that could be true. And it was. And as a result of my slowing a process down, it just affected more and more people, more and more injuries took place through the prophetic and then through his own teams where people were traumatized over some of the sexual issues just horrible sad, sad, sad stuff I spent time with one individual that I know and we actually had a real I felt a really honoring time going both ways he was calling out for help. He was expressing the pain of his own journey and the trauma that he had faced being on that staff. And we had a really good time of connection. I was so thankful for it.

34:41 What followed, however, is I did, I was invited to do an interview on TBN, which I agreed to do, and found out it was to promote Sean in his book. And I went through with it. And so if you can imagine making a heartfelt connection with somebody and lending support for their healing, and then a week, a month, three months, whatever it was, I don't recall now, let's just say two months later, endorsing the very guy that he just brought a report to me on. And it was just a slap in the face to this young man. And it was just such a horrible misjudgment on my part, just absolutely foolish. I followed up. We spent more time together, a couple hours. And to be frank, he helped me in a kind way to see how foolish my decision was and the effect that it had on him.

35:38 And I know if it affected him that way, then there's countless of others that it also affected. And I am so, so, so, so sorry. Some things are inexcusable.

36:03 I'm just glad they're not unforgivable. I, several weak parts of my own, the way I function. I do rally to people who are in trouble. I rally to people that, you know, I give favor to people, oftentimes far beyond what they deserve. And I don't apologize for that because I think it's a proper way to do life. And so I'm committed to that. But what I did wrong was I did it at the expense of the victims. In other words, I showed mercy in one category that seriously affected those who shouldn't have been traumatized any more than they were. And it was just careless.

37:01 It was careless on my part. It obviously is not intentional. You don't think through that stuff. But the fact that I could be that careless and work to defend somebody who, not defend anything that he did that was wrong, just work to see them restored. But in the effort to do that, to do it at the expense of those who had really, really suffered. And there's the trauma from the sexual issues. And there's the trauma from missed prophetic words and stuff that has been promoted throughout our movement. and I'm so sorry. I actually, I contributed to the trauma. I contributed. I wasn't just there to help bring healing as I thought I was, but I actually contributed to the trauma. that's a horrible realization you know to realize that that you're making something worse and my sometimes it's your actions sometimes it's the lack of action and I I have this horrible trait of just not confronting well, and sometimes I'm just afraid of getting it wrong, so I just avoid it altogether.

38:33 And we've got such an amazing team that I have purpose to be much more eager to receive input on these issues instead of just delay, delay, delay, which is what I'm known for. And I just apologize to you for the effect on your lives, your heart, your trust, and just the life of this family, this movement, because of delay and because of avoiding confrontation, avoiding conflict.

39:07 And... I want to continue to grow in showing appropriate mercy in situations, but it really comes down to when we're pursuing justice, it's got to be the victim first. The priority has to be to serve those who have been traumatized. And you know what? Sometimes it's just really, really painful to be involved with people in trauma. I mean, it's hard because oftentimes they don't need advice. They need somebody to listen. They need somebody just to be there. And so I am repurposing my own heart, my own gift, my own life to give much cleaner attention to the victim as a priority. And then the whole church.

40:01 And then, of course, the victimizer. We want to see healing and restoration everywhere. But the mandate really is to care for the victim. And so please forgive me for anything and everything I have said or done that would put less value on attending to the hurt and broken people. It's just wrong. It's just wrong. My delay has caused so much frustration in family and staff. And please forgive me. I promise to try to learn this one better.

40:40 I just don't do that well. But I'm praying with your forgiveness and grace to be able to attend to these things in a much wiser way. The Lord has gifted us with a brilliant team. And back when all of this started, it was just a few of us trying to make decisions. and all of us were under incredible pressure because of all the stuff going on just in our personal lives. And now we have such a brighter, broader team to really help to speak into these situations. So I pray that with the wisdom of the whole group, you know, the scripture says, we have the mind of Christ. It doesn't say I have. The emphasis is on the corporate. that together we have the mind of Christ.

41:35 And so that is our pursuit. That is my commitment, is that together for us to hear from the Lord what to do appropriately in given situations. And I do ask you, the victims of the prophetic, any other sexual tension stuff that could exist in your life, please forgive us as a leadership, to drop the ball as we have and to increase the pressure and the conflict in your own souls. and I just ask you to forgive me and I do pray that the Lord would truly, truly bring healing to us as a movement healing to us as a team healing to me as an individual