Debbie Breakout | Find Your Purpose 2026

0:24 My name is Debbie Dellinger and I'm one of the pastors of Connection and Care here at Resurrection LeWood. I'm really glad to be with you today and I want to help you understand some of the practicalities of one of life's biggest stressors and its implications. This is a big change in adult life and whether you are retired, you are retiring or you're planning on retiring, this session is for you. It's a leap into faith about what's next. My background is that I worked for eight years as somebody who transitioned people from their main job, their career, their work into retirement. And many times we don't choose that time. It's mandated by your age or by a change in ownership of a company or a downsizing. And so there are a lot of emotions that go along with it.

1:20 And as you contemplate this change, you need to think about your physical being, your relationships, how you feel emotionally, and your spirituality. And one of the great things about retirement is there's no more calendar. There's no more alarm clock. And that is something to look forward to. So I transitioned people for eight years. And at the end of eight years, I decided I need to take my own advice and explore what could be next for my next season. and I went to seminary. I left my next season. I went to seminary for three years. And during that time, I decided that I was being called to ordained ministry. So I have undertaken that process with United Methodist Church and I'm in my second year of residency with the Great Plains Annual Conference with the hope of being ordained in the next year or so. So I give you that information as a piece of advice to be hopeful in what's next.

2:20 When I first began working with people who are retiring, I realized almost everyone has a financial plan. You've thought about that and you've gone to your financial planner to see if and when you can retire. But very few people have thought about how to live out the joy and the purpose and the calling that is yours in retirement. So this workshop is about discovering that retirement is not a retreat from life. It's not an ending. It's a leap of faith into what God still has in store for you. So George Bernard Shaw said, life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. And I would add that it's about co-creating yourself with God in each new season of your life. And this is a big one, discerning and listening to the Holy Spirit. Again, retirement is not an end but a beginning, a holy transition, a time when you can finally be choiceful. You can choose what's next, what you want to do, and with your financial plan in place, what that means for you. It's not a destination, but you get to choose how you're going to live next.

3:31 So we'll explore 11 key concepts today to prepare for what is next for you for this leap of faith into retirement. Along with this presentation, there's a PDF that you can find online. It's called the Leap of Faith Journaling Worksheet. And I invite you to start planning now, no matter where you are in your retirement journey, to take the time away to discern quietly and journal. This is my journal for retirement. It's pretty well used and there's all kinds of different journals that you can use, but I'd love for you to take time to write things down because as you have ideas, you want to go back and remember where you were as you started this process. In this PDF, you'll find each key concept that we're going to talk about with a scripture passage and a reflection question. This is your invitation to slow down and think through your retirement, to prepare for that leap of faith, whether you're considering retirement or you are retired.

4:32 This is a time as you reflect to share your thoughts, your questions, and your expectations with those important to you and your life. Retirement and aging are opportunities to ask, who am I now? Who do I want to be? And what do I want to do? You've had a ton of experience, and you can use that in all kinds of ways. I will tell you there are three big essentials for the journey as you leap into retirement and this is based on the hundreds of people I've worked with who are in transition. The first one is your relationships. The second one is your health and wellness and thirdly openness to a newly defined purpose. It's about turning towards the possibilities. What is one dream or idea you've quietly had and you've held for the time when you're retired. So Harvard in 1938 commissioned a study of 268 Harvard students, sophomores, they were men, and they followed them into adulthood through regular interviews, medical exams, shared life stories, and they were followed throughout their lives through their careers, their marriages, their health, their successes, and their failures. And later a second group of men from inner city Boston were added. This is the Glick study. And the goal of this entire study, both sets of men and their families and their life stories, were to figure out what factors predicted well-being, that is health, resilience, and a good life over the decades that we live. And the findings were very interesting. Relationships matter the most. Strong, loving relationships. You don't have to have too many of them, but you have to have them. And that's what they defined as a good life. In our society now, people are lonely. We're in a post-COVID society and loneliness is a serious health risk.

6:39 We've learned from the Surgeon General that being lonely is about, we've learned from the Surgeon General that being lonely is like smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. One in six adults would call themselves lonely. So again, it's not the number of friends or how big a family is. It's about having supportive, nurturing and trustworthy relationships. These help the body regulate stress, reduce inflammation and support healthy brain function. So feeling satisfied with your life, not wanting or needing to have more, but being very happy with what you have and what you're doing is the key to having a good life and to a great retirement. This study also showed that people get happier with age as they have time to foster connections. We evolve with the seasons of your life and I'm sure you felt that.

7:37 And this is a wonderful opportunity for you to choose as you stand on this threshold. If you've already been through the threshold and you're retired, there's always time for a do-over to reassess what's going on in your life and to make some changes. You will have that one first season after retirement, and then that will build on many next seasons after that first one. One man in our congregation created a retirement mission statement, and he did it through this worksheet and through journaling. His purpose became to be present for his grandchildren and to mentor the next generation of leaders at this church. His mission statement gives him a sense of direction each day and allows him as opportunities come forward for him to put them against that mission statement and see if they're within his plan or not. And that's how he makes this choice. So I ask you, as we plan with purpose, what have you always imagined yourself doing? So retirement can be scary. Your calendar is empty all of a sudden you don't have to get up with an alarm clock. Your emails stop from work.

8:50 More than filling time in your day, retirement can be a time when you choose what you're going to do. This discernment is absolutely prayerful. And your purpose comes from your baptism, where you are intentionally given your call. And that's what matters, intentionality. prioritizing relationships is part of your planning. Who do you want to spend more time with? Where can you give yourself in service? What that means and what that looks like is part of this leap into faith that you will align with the purpose, a calling that is meaningful to you. And that takes time and space. There was a client that I had named Mike who took that very seriously and took this kind of information And with his devotion each morning, a Bible study for himself, he worked on this. He worked on a plan of what was important to him.

9:46 And he came up with something that was meaningful to him. And that was to be with his grandchildren. And as his spouse walked through the living room, as he did this Sunday morning, she says that she felt that power of him really putting some thought and some prayer into what could be next. Planning and intentionality is everything. So I ask you, what values do you want guiding you in your next season? What are the limits to what you can and want to do? And they are many. So we've talked about financial. That will indicate what you can and can't do in certain ways. Geographical. Are you going to stay in this area? Are you going to downsize houses? Do you want to move where children are? It's medical. Do you have health issues that need attention here in this area? Is there another place that you would go that has better health care?

10:42 Are there children living on another coast that you need to be near? Who is your community? Is there a community like Penn State and Pennsylvania? They have condos that are specifically for alumni coming back, and there's a beautiful community there. Is that something that is in your plan? plan? And what about your spouse or significant other? Are they working? Do they have an opinion on what could be next? Have you dreamed together about what you'd like to do? Travel,

11:16 adventures, bucket list items. What is your commitment to time of caring for other people? We have parents and we have children. We have family members that need us. and you have to put that into the equation of what it's going to look like to be in retirement. And this begins to shape your roadmap. What are the possibilities so that you may plan with purpose? What are your limiting factors? And what allows you to do whatever you'd like? One of my clients was an attorney here in Kansas City. And when he retired, he moved to Colorado where his wife was a veterinarian who read those radiology reports from Colorado. So that's where he wanted to go. He had two goals in retirement. One was to compose and record a song about his wife and to publish it. And he did that.

12:12 He published it on YouTube and it was beautiful. He did that in the first year of retirement. And the second one was to write books. So the first book he wrote was a murder mystery. and since then he's published two or three more books to actually good reviews. And so he's living into his next season because he thought this through and this is what he really wanted to do. So I tell you, you need to honor what matters most in your life and that takes time and prayer to discern. When everything is changing and it will be in retirement, it's important to return to what matters most to you. Is it your faith? Is it your family? Is it relationships? These are the anchors that hold us steady when we're going through this turbulence of transition. As you get closer to a retirement date, things do get turbulent, things are changing.

13:07 People are having retirement parties for you. You're thinking about that financial plan. And frankly, people think about that paycheck not coming in and waiting for the pension or whatever it might be. But as that turbulence gets worse and you get to the other side, think about it. If you've named your three priorities right now, what would they be? A woman I worked with, an accountant, she really wanted to continue working. She liked that paycheck, but as she discerned and prayed about what was next in her retirement and she got through that turbulence, she turned down a lucrative consulting offer because she realized what mattered most to her was traveling with her sister and mother. And that has been a priceless opportunity for her as they've both grown older. So the Harvard study showed that people often grow happier with age if they stay relationally engaged.

14:02 So authentic joy is found in savoring relationships with others and with God. Think about your priorities as a working person and how your routine will change in retirement. Are you holding the core values that are deeper than your current role, your current work? Let joy be the guide for what may be next as you retire or retool your retirement. Not productivity, not an end game, and joy is not a luxury. It's a source of strength that comes from God. What makes your heart come most alive? Are you open to something new? Discover anew what gives your soul joy. What activities do you love that you want to reclaim or do more often? What have you wanted to learn? Is it the cello that you played in high school that you put away? Maybe you take that out and begin playing it again. I've had a client do that and join a community orchestra.

14:59 Is it running? Is it something that you haven't had time with to do those long distance runs or walks? Or is it playing the rec sports? Maybe you were a high school college basketball player and you wanna get back to that. There's a lot of community leagues for you to do. Another person I worked with loved to garden. So when he retired, volunteered to work at a community garden. And what has been a hobby his whole life and then became a heartfelt passion that he realized it was not just about the gardening, but this community garden fed people. The produce went to people who needed it and it became about feeding people with dignity. He now volunteers at the food bank that this produce went to and so does his family and neighbors and this has been a great source of joy for him. So as you dream and discover what might be next for you, remember Isaiah 4319, I'm doing a new thing. Now it springs up. Do you see it?

15:59 Retirement is a leap of faith and you are invented to co-create what's next, to join the divine rhythm of renewal in this world. God is not finished with you. Retirement is not an end. This season is full of possibility. Do you have a bucket list? What do you long for in your life? God delights in you and in this new beginning as you turn from your work, your main job that has provided for you all these years and for your family, and now it's a time to wonder. Retirement carries loss, a loss of identity. So many times in society people say, oh hi nice to meet you what do you do it's a loss of routines which is actually quite great when you don't have to get up with the alarm or look at the calendars to see where you're traveling next it can be a loss of status if you're a school teacher a fire person those are those are just honorable position those are honorable roles and sometimes we feel like we're going to lose our our circle of friends, our colleagues, and the people that we love at work.

17:09 And sometimes we do, and that's okay, and sometimes we don't. But God's delight in you is contagious. So if you see that and you begin to shift from what is ending or has ended, and imagine and wonder what might emerge next, that's a good thing. Sometimes the Spirit leads us in unexpected directions if we stay open by widening our lens.

17:37 So life is a team sport. We don't walk through life alone and we're not supposed to. Talking with others gives us courage and fresh ideas and wisdom. Community is a powerful teacher. Wesley tells us that there's no holiness, but social loneliness. And we don't figure out our retirement alone. That's why you're here today. Look around and introduce yourself to the people that you are sitting with. Holiness, which emphasizes that holiness is realized in community and relationships, never in isolation. Who has inspired you in how they've navigated retirement? And what are they doing now? Is it something that interests you? Become curious and open to possibilities. Conversations with others will spark ideas and remind you of what you've loved to do and what you've dreamed of doing.

18:30 You can gather new ideas, encouraged by talking to people. This is called networking, which is not always a great word, but networking is something you've done your whole life. You've done it effortlessly. You've done it in your job, in your circle of friends. This is from knowing which doctor to go to, which dry cleaner is a good dry cleaner, what new restaurant just opened across the street that's good to go to. We do it on our jobs to get our jobs done. If something breaks down and you need help, you know who to call at your job, and that's your network. Networking is exchanging information and connecting people for the good of both. So look around. Who is doing something that interests you? Call them, introduce yourself, ask questions. They will be delighted. And in this notebook that you're using, start making a list of those people that you would like to talk to, you don't have to know them.

19:29 You can reach out to them through all the means we have, text, email, or you can ask for an introduction. I will tell you that planning matters, but don't hold on to your plans too tightly. God's Spirit surprises us with detours that turn out to be an absolute blessing. And I wanna talk about the pause. When we're retiring and we're in that turbulence and we realize that something is going away and we haven't quite turned to what's next, there's this reflexive response to say yes to everything. People will say, you should volunteer in my ministry. You should go and do this. You should travel here. And you start filling your calendar with all of these things that you're saying yes to, but you haven't really thought through. Plan to try different experiences as you contemplate what you'd love to do, what you've always wanted to do.

20:25 Try a low risk investment of time. Go to the animal shelter and volunteer. If you're interested in doing any kind of volunteer work, they're gonna want to know you and you're gonna want to know them and how they do things. So when you take the time just to go and volunteer at the food bank, wherever it might be, to read to children at school, this is a time when you can give a low risk investment of time and learn more about what you thought might work and what might actually speak to your heart. Do you have a heart to ease hunger? Volunteer at Harvesters. Do you wanna write a book? Write a devotion or an op-ed. See how that feels. I had one client named Ann, who was a provost at a small college in the Midwest. And she lived in a city where she knew of a private school that she wanted to serve on their board.

21:18 And so, because they didn't know her, they knew of her, She volunteered at that school to get to know them and for her to get to know them to get to know her. And she realized in this volunteering that what she really missed by being a provost was being in the classroom. So that's where she ended up very happily volunteering. So when you take this pause, it's hard to tell people, I don't know what I'm doing. This is all new to me. But you can say that and you can say, I'm exploring. I'm figuring out what's next. And I'm very happy doing that. I'm talking with my people, my family. And when you pause, you leave time for spontaneity, for God to come into the picture and to have other opportunities that you may never have thought of. And you leave time to recover from your work.

22:13 There is a time when you need to take care of yourself after a lifetime of working. So prioritize your health. Many times we are sleep deprived. We haven't eaten right, especially if you're traveling, if you're in sales and you're entertaining people. If you're having to work hours and overtime in different situations, you're not sleeping well, you're not eating well, you're not doing what your body needs. And this pause, this time of discernment is a time to recalibrate that. that. You may not have exercised the way you should have. And when you go out and having those business dinners or whatever it may be, you may be drinking alcohol and that might not be something that you really want to do. I know of lots of people in careers who use sleep aids because they have their mind running on what's happening, what goals they have to meet, what's going next, what's the deadline, and they need sleep aids. This is a time to detox from all of that. I had to do it when I went to seminary. I loved Diet Coke. Diet Coke is a problem for me. And if I had a Diet Coke today, I would be so happy. But I got rid of it. And it really helped my health in every way, including blood pressure. Sometimes we pushed off issues that give us tension.

23:33 And this is a time to address those issues, whatever they might be. Connecting with family and prayer will give you joy. I will say, and this is pretty serious, health is the limiting factor to anything and everything that you might want to do in your next season. You need your health to be the best you in this next season. Investing in your vitality means paying attention to what gives you life, not simply where you are needed. It means creating room for rest, for prayer, for family, for friendship, for learning, and the work that allows you to be authentically yourself. For me, that's nature. I go out there and I experience my best self. It also means releasing the belief that your worth depends upon any kind of productivity or solving every problem. Remember the three essentials for this leap of faith into retirement are relationships, health and wellness, and openness to a newly defined purpose.

24:39 One HR professional I worked with who transitioned had worked hard and had specific goals when he retired. It had to do with publishing and teaching and his area of expertise, but he wasn't feeling very well. And so he started walking every day. He gave that time to himself to walk, which eventually turned into running, which began to include long bike rides. And now the man does triathlon. to raise money for the organizations that he cares about. And he says he feels younger and more energetic than ever. What is one small habit you'd like to be doing or return to for your health? What is something in your past that you'd like to reclaim that made you feel good?

25:26 So work connected us to people, and retirement can shrink that circle of people that we interact with daily. But God calls us into community to belong, which is the opposite of loneliness and isolation, which we found in the Harvard study. We see how debilitating loneliness is. And you think, as you think throughout what is important to you, what is the time for you to connect with family, friends, and community? And again, it's not about the number. It's about the quality of the relationships. What defines your community today and how do you make that shift into what your community will look like tomorrow as you retire? Leaning into Christ, learning to follow Christ alongside others can be key. Through companionship and honest relationships, we help one another recognize God's presence and grow in holy love. We offer belonging, we carry burdens for each other, and we accompany one another through joy and sorrow.

26:32 This is a time when you can build new friendships and strengthen old ones. If I could sing, I would join the choir. They are a sacred group here at church, but I do know one man who said he couldn't sing. He couldn't even read music, and he joined the choir anyway. He joined for belonging, and now he has a whole new group of friends within the sacred group, and that makes him really happy. I don't have the courage to do that. One of the greatest gifts of this season is time with family. Job, careers, work, it takes time away from our family. But I would ask you this, who needs more of you? Your family, your spouse, your children, perhaps your parents. It's never too late to renew bonds, to heal relationships, and to give people the gift of simply being present.

27:30 Do you have friends that you love from college, childhood, the section you sit in at church, your neighborhood? Are there former colleagues who you wish to continue to have a relationship with? Sometimes these relationships are more across from professional to personal, and it can be especially meaningful. you share a language. Who can you teach something to? Who needs to know how to fish, how to enjoy poetry, or whatever it is that you love and want to share. How wonderful to leave a legacy of love, of showing up. This legacy is embedded in people in whom you invest. Your legacy of love. Those who feel seen by you, welcomed by you, and accompanied by you because you were there to listen, to love, and walk beside them. This legacy of love continues through the people that you love, continues through their whole life.

28:31 And it's contagious, creating deeper belonging and inspiring your loved ones to offer the same grace, the same gift to one another and to others. It's a beautiful legacy to leave. Where is God nudging you? What is God nudging you to do? What is God nudging you to think about or to try? God is not done with you. The Bible is full of people that God calls and uses to wonderful purposes in their later years. Abraham was 99 when God made the promise to Abraham to become a father. And then he called him to step into his purpose as the father of faith. and Abraham left his home and his family, with his family, and followed God into the unknown. Moses was 500 when God summoned him via a burning bush, and he then experiences the greatest season of leadership in his life, leading the Israelites out of Egypt and receiving the law.

29:34 And Sarah, her long desire to purpose, arrives at her old age with the laughter and joy of motherhood. purpose can arrive when we least expect it. Your story is still unfolding. Psalm 4610 tells us, Be still and know that I am God. In this next season, this leap of faith that you will take, your retirement is just not about doing. It is about being and it's about receiving. It's about slowing down and letting yourself be loved. It's about seeking God and reclaiming who you are, staying spontaneous for those unexpected calls and purposes. To know that this is your first next season and there will be many more. Rest and play our holy practices too. What is one step that you want to take as you contemplate, move into, or readjust the season of your life. What do you perceive is the next thing? Take the essentials with you, your relationships, your health and wellness, and an openness to a newly defined purpose. I've given you 11 key takeaways. And I want to remember that the Harvard study confirms what our faith has always taught us. The good life is a life of love. Retirement becomes our most impactful season of embodying that love and leaving a legacy for those we love.

31:10 Which of these takes away stands out to you today? And which one feels like your next step? As I begin to bring this session to a close, let's pray together. Holy God, thank you for our new seasons in life. Thank you for purpose and family, community, health, and joy. remind us that our most impactful season is yet to come and let us rest in your love God grant us courage and joy and purpose as we step into what is next Amen May you leap into this next season with joy, with courage, and with openness to God's unfolding