Don't Pet the Peeves | Max Lucado | Cultivated | Oak Hills Church

51:26 looking at the fruits of the Spirit, the way God empowers us to be the kind of people that really we want to be. We're focusing on a passage from Galatians chapter 5, but the Spirit produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Travis and Jenna each did a super job getting us right up to here, And now it's my turn, patience and kindness. So if you have all the patience and kindness that you feel like you need, enjoy your nap. The rest of us, however, are going to tackle these two features under this title. I think you'll like the title, Don't Pet the Peeves. Grant us, Lord, understanding as we open your word.

52:26 Open our hearts, Father. Forgive our speaker. His sins are many. Help us to see Christ, just Christ. Through Christ we pray. Amen. It's the way he picks his teeth in public.

52:47 She has this odd manner of clearing her voice every few moments. he can't watch the news without giving his opinion does she apply her makeup with a putty knife he cuts off cars and traffic she cuts off people in conversation he's an edgy as a porcupine. She's too laid back. She never expresses herself. He rubs you the wrong way. She gets on your nerves. Agitating, frustrating, exasperating, irritating. if only people would behave like people if only people would wear deodorant use mouthwash close their mouths when they chew or close their mouths when they talk quiet those screaming babies clean up their trashy lawns there's a way the world is intended to be run Thank you.

54:12 and when others behave in ways that go against what we think is the right way for the world to be run we have a term for that we call that a pet peeve a pet peeve. It's not a colossal divide. It's not an ancient hostility. It's not even a legal violation. It's just an irritant. It's a pet. It's a small. It's not too big. It's personal. It's individual. It's a peeve, a quirk, a peculiarity, a tendency, a pet peeve. I know a woman who has a pet peeve about men having facial hair.

55:16 I feel the same about women having facial hair. A few years ago, it's been a long time, doubt if anyone will remember, but one summer I decided to grow a beard. And it didn't turn out very good. But I tried for several weeks, which meant for several Sundays, consecutive Sundays, I was here at church preaching with my attempt of growing a beard. And she did not like it. It must be something Freudian, although Freud had a beard, so it can't be that. But she, my facial follicles left her harried. You never get my good sentences.

56:13 You just don't reward all the work that goes into a brilliant sentence like that. Thank you very much. Facial follicles, hair, never mind. More than once, she would be waiting for me in the reception line in between services and ask me straight up to my face, when are you going to get that off your face? It really bothered her. And I would think, is it worth that? The same thing happened a couple of years ago. I got a tattoo. on the interior of my left arm right here is a tattoo of one of the words Christ spoke as he hung on the cross I I put it there to commemorate 50 years of of salvation most of people were fine with it a few of them thought it was kind of odd but boy there were a couple of people who made my business their business? Pastors don't get tattoos, especially 70-year-old pastors don't get tattoos. And I had the same thought, why get so wound up about it? Why let it bother you? Our joy, as Jenna pointed out last week, is such a precious commodity. It's so valuable.

57:43 Do we really want to just give it away? besides pet peeves really don't hurt the person who irritates us they hurt we the person irritated have you noticed the language we use about our pet peeves he gets under my skin or she gets on my nerves. Are there all such a pain in my neck? Whose skin? Whose nerves? Whose neck? It's ours. We're the one who suffers. So every pet peeve writes a check on our joy account.

58:30 Let's imagine that each ping pong ball in this basket is a quotient of your joy, a portion of your joy, okay? This is what you wake up with. This is your joy basket. You wake up every day, and you've got all these balls of joy. They're yours for the use, and yet some things really get on your nerves. And when people start getting on your nerves, when they start bugging you, you just start losing. One thing after another, you're just so tiresome. And you can't get the joy because it's going everywhere. Somebody parks where you're supposed to park, and somebody gets over there. And those big old trucks that take up two places, and why can't they turn on their blinkers?

59:29 Don't they know you have to have blinkers? Who's cutting in traffic? It's just getting ridiculous. And before you know it, the whole thing is gone. Grab all that joy. what takes your joy is it really worth it to lose joy over the small things in life we all have them we all have pet peeves it's how we manage them that matters the most the apostle Paul's I don't know if he ever used the term pet peeve but boy he had a scripture he said be patient there's the patience bearing with one another in love I wonder if this second portion of the scripture isn't a definition of the first let me show you what I mean patient in the Greek language, the Bible was written in Greek. It literally means long-tempered.

1:00:54 Long-tempered. We don't use that phrase in English, but we use what? Short-tempered. Short-tempered. So he's saying be long-tempered. This term appears elsewhere in Greek manuscripts to describe a pot that is slow to boil. For whatever reason, it just takes a long time to boil. So the patient person does not fly off the handle, does not heat up, does not become quickly overheated. They still see all the peculiarities in the world, but they don't let the peculiarities destroy their life or take their joy. And how does this work? Well, he says, just bear with one another. I'm sorry, yeah, thanks. Bear with one another in love.

1:01:47 Don't you appreciate Paul's honesty here? Some people, you just gotta bear with them. Here's other translations, just to see. Make allowance for each other's faults. Put up with each other. Tolerate one another. there are some people you love being with there are some people you just relish every minute with them But there are some people just, they just... and so for those people Paul says well just bear with them just tolerate them just put up with them you don't have to be enthused you don't really have to necessarily even like them but just don't let them get to you this is forbearance and this is the fruit of the Spirit.

1:02:54 the Spirit will give you this patience. The Spirit will also give you that second one that we're going to talk about, and that is kindness, kindness. In the New Testament, kindness carries with it the idea of grace, gracious. But it also carries with it an idea that really doesn't exist in the English language, but it's a kindness that does something good, A kindness that is good for you. For example, it could be that in the first century, someone would compliment a food, and that food was good for you, and they might say something like, this salad is so kind. It doesn't really make sense to us. But when you understand that kindness is more than just a sentiment, but it's often an action.

1:03:50 Kindness not only says good morning, kindness makes the coffee. A kindness not only waves at the neighbor, kindness makes sure that their trash can is put back in the driveway. Kindness is a feeling that leads to something useful. We see this kindness in the life of Christ, don't we? He not only was kind enough to attend the wedding, but when the wedding ran out of wine, he rescued the wedding.

1:04:25 He not only was kind enough to heal a woman, but he was kind enough to stop and listen to her story. He was not only kind enough to visit Zacchaeus, but he was kind enough to challenge Zacchaeus to lead a different lifestyle. Hasn't he been kind to you? that's a good question has God been kind you? Has there ever been a time he was too busy to listen to you? Hasn't he got you out of a few jams? the Bible says, whoever is wise will observe these things and they will understand what?

1:05:17 The loving kindness of the Lord. Our Lord is kind to us. And since God has been so kind to us, you know what I'm about to say. Can't we in turn be kind to someone else? Here's the question from the Apostle Paul. Do you think lightly of the riches of his kindness and tolerance and patience? Not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance. so the kindness of God should have a cascading effect it comes into our lives and then flows into the lives of others it leads us to repentance repentance from sin and rebellion for sure but also repentance from unkindness since he has been so kind to me can I not in turn be kind to others.

1:06:26 How would you rate yourself on these two attributes? Patience and kindness. these are the themes of one of Jesus's most famous parables anyone who thinks that Jesus didn't have a sense of humor hasn't read these words from the Sermon on the Mount why do you notice the little piece of dust in your friend's eye but you don't notice the big piece of wood in your own eye? How can you say to your friend, let me take that little piece of dust out of your eye. Look at yourself. You still have that big piece of wood in your own eye.

1:07:15 You hypocrite. First, take the wood out of your own eye. Then you will see clearly to take the dust out of your friend's eye. So Jesus here envisions a guy who walks around with this big piece of wood sticking out of his eye. I mean, it's an occupational hazard. If he turns around, he's going to whack people, people avoiding. His wife is taken to sleeping in a different bedroom for fear that he'll roll over and clobber right on the head. The guy can't even tie his own shoes. He has to buy those kind that you just slip in. They don't tie anymore. You know, they ever tie. He'd buy those because if he leans over to tie his shoes, it jams it up in his face. But he doesn't even notice it.

1:08:08 He lives with this sticking out of his eye. And when people stop and look at him, he thinks, oh, they must think I'm good looking. Or they must like my shirt. And he just goes through life with this big chunk of wood sticking out of his eye. Well, one day he's walking down the sidewalk and he looks across the street and he sees a fella who has a tissue.

1:08:36 Sorry. I'm sorry, I know what that's doing. He just has to get it out of his eye. Well, it really bugs the guy who has the sequoia sticking out of his eye that there's somebody over there with a speck of dust. And so he hurries across the street turning from side to side, people ducking everywhere. He hurries over to the guy. The guy sees him coming, and he has to duck. And the guy with the big piece of wood says, you need to be careful. Don't get anything in your eye. It's just bizarre. It's bizarre. But the question behind the story is... When it comes to finding the faults of others, we can be eagle-eyed. But when it comes to finding our own faults, We can be as blind as a mole.

1:09:40 First, take it out of your eyes. then you'll see clearly to help others How's your vision? Jesus would encourage us to be careful.

1:10:04 We don't want to be like the person on the interstate. As he was driving, he received a call from his wife. She panicked. She was worried. She said, honey, be careful out there driving. I just heard on the radio that some fellow is traveling down the highway on the wrong side of the road. the husband was equally urgent. He said, that's not the half of it, honey. It's not just one car going the wrong way. It's hundreds. The problem wasn't with them, it was with him. Most of our problems are best dealt with dealing first with the person in the mirror.

1:10:55 You think the world could use a little more tolerance? will be tolerant. You wish people would quit complaining. Did you know when you quit complaining, the world is minus one whiner? Nobody gives a hoot about the poor. The hoot level will increase when your compassion does. If you want to change the world, begin with yourself. And before you obsess yourself with the specks in the eyes of others, make sure that you don't have a two-by-four sticking out of yours.

1:11:43 D.L. Moody was one of the most influential Christians of his generation. Wrote some wonderful books, led a beautiful church, started some institutions of higher learning that exist to this very day. but he's best remembered for his humble spirit. And one of his favorite sayings was, right now I'm having so much trouble with D.L. Moody that I don't have time to find fault with anyone else. you know Jesus' teaching does not preclude the place of constructive criticism he just urges us to have the right sequence first take the wood out of your own eye then you'll see clearly to take the dust out of your friend's eye it's helpful to help someone else but never from a feeling of superiority First, examine yourself and then you'll know how to help someone else.

1:12:53 Rather than try to put them in their place, maybe take a few moments to put yourself in their place. truth is we all drop the ball on occasion I could relate to the story I read a true story about a woman by the name of Marie 90 years old and she finally said I'm done shopping for Christmas presents I'm too old for this and so she wrote all her friends and family members a nice note and she decided she would just put a check in the envelope. And on the note she wrote, this year, go buy your own gift. Well, she enjoyed Christmas, and only after Christmas did she get around to cleaning off her desk.

1:13:46 Imagine her chagrin when she found under the stack of papers all those checks that she had forgotten to include in the envelope. go get your own gift took on a new meaning I could have done the same thing. Don't we owe it to one another to be patient with one another?

1:14:15 Upon the celebration of his 30th wedding anniversary, a friend of mine shared the secret of their happy marriage. Early on, he said, my wife suggested an arrangement. She would make all the small decisions and would come to me for the major ones. And wouldn't you know it, all these years have passed and we still haven't had one major decision. You know, there's some wisdom in that. When you think about it, how many decisions really are major? Most of them are small. And if you don't sweat the small stuff, you don't sweat much. friend over the next few days you're going to be tested some driver's going to forget to turn on his blinker somebody at the grocery store is going to go through the 12 items or less lane with 15 items somebody's going to be using your computer when you need it or your computer's not going to be working when you want it to be working somebody's going to be playing loud music or somebody's have the music not loud enough.

1:15:43 Something is going to get on your nerves. Let this be the week you don't give them a ping pong ball. let this be the week you acknowledge the frustration but you don't give in to it one of my favorite places on earth is right here in south texas it's a it's a little grove on the guadalupe river oh you'd love it you've probably seen a dozens others like it it's not totally unique but it's just so beautiful for one it's it's it's the river runs right beside a tall wall, kind of a bluff. And that bluff keeps the harsh winds out and at certain times of day it blocks the sun and it turns that grove into the most delightful place even in the heat of summer.

1:16:42 The wall goes up about 30 feet so you can really only access it from the other side. And the other side is wonderful. The grass is thick. It's not real stony. It's almost like a carpet. Kids can run around barefoot. If you want to wade out into the Guadalupe, every so often you'll see a bass swimming in and out of the rocks.

1:17:11 In the trees. Oh, goodness, the trees. Tall cypress trees. Live oak trees. Even some mesquite trees. They're all intermingled. They've all found life there. Their roots go deep, their branches reach high. They endure the winter, they celebrate the summer.

1:17:35 It's just a place of peace. the last time I was there I noticed something that I had never noticed before and that is all the trees are bent they're all bent not a straight one among them that's the way they grew they've got a lean or they've got a twist or they've got a tilt they just, they've all not one of them is straight up and down And you know what I thought? I thought, that's kind of like the world.

1:18:18 We're all bent. I mean, we may try to stand tall, or we may think so-and-so has got it all together, but the fact of the matter is, we've all got an angle or two or ten and some moss growing around the trunk. and you know what just like that grove There's beauty in our bentness. We're all different. That's God's plan. He created us absolutely unique with proclivities, with tendencies, with peculiarities, with quirks. this here where we live, let's just call it what it is, the Society of the Bent Timber.

1:19:15 and that's okay. Just don't let it get to you. And rather than grumble and groan, say, well, Lord, I'm going to be grateful, and I'm not giving anybody my ping pong ball.

1:19:35 Gracious Father, help us to be patient with one another, to be kind with one another, to put up with one another. all to your glory. Through Christ we pray. Amen We're about to have my favorite part of the worship service And that is a prayer of salvation It's a prayer that we offer together Hoping, praying that somebody will be saying this prayer for the very first time For the first time in a long time And if that's you, when the prayer's over, I'll ask you to stand up is so we can applaud your choice to give your life to Christ. Pray out loud with me, would you please, as I lead us. Jesus, I'm not perfect, for I have sinned.

1:20:32 But I believe in you. Save me, change me, forgive me. I give you my life. In Jesus' name. Amen. Is anyone saying that prayer for the first time? Would you mind standing so we can celebrate your decision?