Fake Friends | Joel Osteen

1:48 And I hope you'll stay connected with us during the week through our daily podcast our youtube channel and social media And you can come visit us in person. We'd love to have you be a part of one of our services I'd like to start with something funny and I heard about these three sisters ages 96 94 and 92 that live together One night the 96 year old draws a bath and she puts one foot in and stops She hollers downstairs. I can't remember if I was getting in or getting out The 94 year old says hang on i'll come up and help you She gets halfway up the stairs and stops says I can't remember if i was going up or coming down The 92 year old shook her head and said man. I hope I never get that forgetful She knocked on wood for good luck Then she said hang on i'll come help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door No, no, no, that's not us. We're gonna have sound mind clear minds in jesus name Come on. Say it like you mean it. This is my bible. I am what it says. I am I have what it says. I have I can do what it says. I can do today I will be taught the word of god. I boldly confess my mind is alert. My heart is receptive I will never be the same in jesus name. God bless you I want to talk to you today about fake friends There are people I should say ushers lock the doors, but There are people that god brings into our lives that are amazing people They love us unconditionally They cheer us on celebrate our victories and stick with us through thick and thin But in the midst of all these great people will be some fake friends People that have hidden agendas and ulterior motives. They're not concerned about you They're concerned about what you can do for them They see you as an opportunity and they'll use control and manipulation to get what they want Guilty into doing things make you feel bad because you can't meet their expectations

3:56 A fake friend is two-faced They clap when you succeed and act like they're happy but down deep, they're jealous. They were hoping you would fail. They compliment you on your new outfit and act excited about the promotion, but behind your back, talk about how you didn't deserve it, make derogatory remarks. Fake friends create unnecessary drama, stir things up, bring confusion. They act like they're watching after you, doing you a favor. Their real agenda is to get you upset. cause you strife and turmoil. If you don't have discernment and recognize who's a true friend, who has your best interest at heart, and who's a fake friend, who's just here for what you can do for them, then life can be frustrating. Jesus said in Matthew, you will know them by their fruit.

4:55 Doesn't say you will know them by their words. People can say one thing, they can talk a good game, but they're not always who they say they are. Their actions, how they treat you, what they do is who they are. You don't have to go up to an apple tree and ask it, what kind of tree are you? You look at the fruit. This is an apple. I know it's an apple tree. You've never gone to an apple tree and found a lemon growing on one of the branches. Never gone to an orange tree and found a banana growing off of it. The tree will only produce the fruit of what it is. If someone is always telling you one thing, but the fruit is different, the fruit is not lying. The fruit is who they are. Well, I'm loyal. I'm faithful. I'm always going to be there for you, but they never show up. They always have an excuse. They're always too busy. That's who they are. If they're gossiping, talking bad about people, stirring up trouble, that's showing their true colors.

6:00 Pay attention to people's fruit. Well, Joel, they're nice to me. They compliment me. They say kind things, but behind your back, when you're not around, you hear how they talk bad about you, push you down, discredit you. And I'm all for giving people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they're having a bad day But if it happens again and again When it's a pattern their fruit is not lying. That's who they are Bottom line is you don't need fake friends You don't need people you have to play up to People that have hidden agendas people that are two-faced They're not helping you move forward. They're keeping you from your destiny If you'll get rid of the wrong people god will bring the right people And sometimes the reason we're not seeing true friends is we're holding on to the wrong friends Down deep. We know something's not right. Our discernment's going off. They don't have integrity They just stir me up. They just want what I can do for them. We try to defend them make excuses But you need to make a change You don't have to make a big announcement. You're fake. I'm done with you just little by little spend less and less time with them. The scripture says to redeem the time.

7:22 Your time is too valuable to spend with people that are draining your energy, that have hidden agendas, that don't really care about you, but what you can do for them. Life is flying by. The enemy would love for us to waste years distracted, confused, trying to figure out what they meant, control. Do yourself a favor. Get rid of the fake friends. You have a destiny to fulfill. There's a calling on your life. We have a responsibility to live with purpose and not be sidetracked by people that can pull us off course. This is what happened with Samson. His birth was predicted by the prophets. He was destined to save the Israelites and God gave him supernatural strength and this power to defeat his enemies. But Samson started hanging around the wrong people. He fell in love with a lady named Delilah. She was beautiful. He was so infatuated and so caught up, he ignored what he was feeling inside. He didn't pay attention to the alarms that were going off.

8:32 God will always give you a warning. There will be an uneasiness, an unrest. Don't push it down that's God speaking to you. That's the spirit of discernment telling you, be careful. Something is faith. It's not what it looks like.

10:41 Samson was a Hebrew. The philistines were trying to capture him because he was so powerful They couldn't defeat him by normal means. So they decided to try to trick him They told delilah to go seduce him and try to find the secret of his strength They said in verse 5 if you'll do this. We'll each pay you 1100 pieces of silver She got all dressed up Put her fake eyelashes on her hair extensions in got her new Louis Vuitton bag, strutted in there to see Samson. He looked up and saw how beautiful she was. He thought he was dreaming. He was so caught up in how amazing she looked on the outside. He didn't think anything about what was happening on the inside. What were her motives? Why was she there? Who is this girl? She was so nice, kind, beautiful. Samson thought this must be the hand of God, when in fact it was the enemy at work. She wasn't there because she cared about Samson.

11:47 She was there because of what Samson could do for her. She had a hidden agenda. She could get paid a bunch of silver for just finding out a secret. She acted so loving. Samson, you're everything I dreamed of. You are so good looking. I want to spend my life with you. All lies. Don't believe everything you hear. The scripture says, test the spirit, dig down a little deeper, listen to what you're feeling inside. Every person is not who they say they are. When there's a hidden agenda, they'll say what you want to hear. They'll use manipulation, deception, flattery to try to get what they want. She had Samson lay his head in her lap. She said now sammy boy, if you really love me, please tell me the secret of your strength What's amazing Is samson knew she was trying to trick him. He knew she wasn't being truthful But he didn't take it seriously He thought he could play around with it He told her if you tie me up with seven fresh bow strings that have never been dried Then I will become weak have the strength of an ordinary man She snuck out and told the Philistines.

13:04 While he was sleeping, they came in and tied him up with seven fresh bow strings. Delilah woke him up. Samson, Samson, the Philistines are here. He sat up and broke those strings like they were nothing. Delilah was so upset. She came and said, Samson, you lied to me. If you loved me, you would tell me the truth. The whole time she's been lying. She's got an ulterior motive. She's working for the enemy. Now she's trying to make him feel guilty for not telling this secret This happened two more times Samson made up things where he could be captured But it wasn't the truth You would think samson would see right through this Man, this girl is not for me She's in it for herself for what she can get out of me That seemed obvious. She's a fake. She's two-faced She's saying she loves samson to his face but behind his back, she's telling the enemy how to capture him. Look at this pattern. Three times she's done something so obvious to show her colors. She asked him the secret, then runs, tells the Philistines. How could Samson not see that she was a phony? Sometimes you need to step back and examine relationships. Which ones have a pattern of causing you trouble? A pattern of bringing strife and drama, where you feel guilty, you feel used. Perhaps you have a Delilah, a person that's saying one thing, but meaning something else, a hidden agenda, using you for their gain. On the outside, they may have great qualities, looks, position, charm, but what's going on on the inside? What's happening behind the scenes? If there's a pattern of things that are not right, lack of integrity, a pattern of feeling guilty, it's always my fault, I'm not enough, a pattern of manipulation, drama, you're having to defend yourself. Recognize what's happening. A fake friend is going to drain your energy, take your peace, and cloud your vision.

15:16 Best thing you can do is put up some boundaries. Stop allowing them to manipulate you. Quit letting them get that close to you. Don't share those secrets, those hidden dreams that you know they're going to use against you. And I'm not saying they're a bad person. They just don't have your best interests at heart. They may be kind. They tell you nice things. They say they care about you. So did Delilah. You have to judge them by their actions, not by what they say. Look at the track record Study the patterns Ask yourself. Why do I always feel drained when I spend time with them? Why am I having to constantly defend myself? Why do what I tell them in confidence three other people ask me about? Samson kept overriding all these signs of a fake friend of a hidden agenda He had plenty of opportunities to make a change, but he didn't do it Delilah kept asking and pleading with him. Samson, you know how much I love you How could you do me this way? Tell me the secret of your strength Verse 17 says she pressed him very hard with her words day after day Until his soul was vexed unto death That means she nagged and nagged until he couldn't take it anymore This time he told her the truth If you cut my hair, i'll lose my strength They cut it and captured him. That was it She got her pieces of silver. He ended up bound and missed his destiny And I realize not every fake friend is going to be this dramatic But the principle is there They don't have your best interests at heart. It's all about what you can do for them They'll pretend and charm Try to make you feel bad when you don't do what they want recognize what's happening. A true friend doesn't pressure you into doing things you don't want.

17:22 They don't try to manipulate you into getting their way. That's people with hidden agendas, ulterior motives. They play up to you to get on your good side and build your trust because eventually they're going to try to get something from you. I pray every day, God, give me discernment. Help me to see things for what they really are. Help me to know who doesn't have good motives Who's trying to manipulate who's pretending who's two-faced I heard someone say I asked god to protect me from my enemies and I started losing friends Sometimes it's not the enemy holding us back. It's fake friends It's delilah's people that we're allowing in our lives that don't have good motives that are only out for what we can do for them. If you're going to fulfill your destiny, you have to be strong and take control of your life. You have a responsibility to redeem your time, to use the gifts God's given you to make the most of each day, like the Apostle Paul tells us.

18:31 When my father went to be with the Lord and I stepped up to pastor the church, I was very insecure and didn't know if I could do it This was all new to me and i'd never ministered before There was a man that i'd grown up with that was a part of the church and a friend of our family and It was a good man and I believe had good intentions But he saw this as an opportunity to take the church where he wanted it to go He would encourage me and tell me I was doing good but there was always this underlying message that I needed to do more of this and less of that. I felt this pressure that I was being squeezed into a mold that I didn't want to be in. It wasn't anything overtly critical or negative. It was just the feeling I would get from it. Little subtle innuendos. You know, Joel, it'd really be good if you did it this way, or I think you'd be better off doing it this other way. And I'm all for taking advice.

19:31 getting good counsel, but only you can hear what God is saying to your spirit. God may confirm what he's saying through other people, but God is not going to tell someone else what you need to do for your life. He's not going to give them direction. He's going to come straight to you. See, in the Old Testament, God would speak to the prophet to tell the people what to do. but since jesus came the holy spirit lives on the inside of each one of us you don't need a prophet to speak to you a priest a rabbi pastor a friend god will speak directly to you and yes he can use people but deep down you know what bears witness to your spirit nothing this man was telling me felt right to me and over time he got more and more outspoken I'm very nice. I like to please people, but something rose up in me so strongly I thought to myself. I'm not going to be who you called me to be I'm gonna be who god called me to be Because when we come to the end of life, we're not going to answer to people. We're going to answer to god And I was nice. I was kind, but I didn't let him pressure me into his mold Eventually, he got upset and left the church and we had a party. I mean, we were so upset, but I don't mean this derogatory But he was a fake friend He didn't want what was best for me. He wanted to manipulate me into doing what he wanted All those times he was encouraging me wasn't out of a pure spirit. There was a hidden agenda I gotta win joel over so I can get my way I can tell you this if I had not been strong and taking control of my life. I wouldn't be up here today If I had not listened to the discernment if I had pushed down that feeling that this is not right Doesn't bear witness And just giving in to what he wanted letting him control me. I would have missed what god called me to do

21:40 It's good to evaluate why we do things am I doing this out of guilt? because this person is going to look down on me if I don't? That's a fake friend. A true friend wants the best for you. A true friend will get an agreement with what God put in your heart and cheer you on even if it's not what they were hoping for. And yes, they may challenge you. They may give you good advice, but they're not going to pressure you, try to make you feel bad if you don't do what they want? If not, it's manipulation. Too many of us are letting other people run our lives. All the demands, the expectations. If I don't stop by, Joel, they'll get their feelings hurt. If I don't call them three times a week, they're not going to be happy. Here's the key. You're not responsible to keep everyone happy. Your responsibility is to keep yourself happy, Keep yourself peaceful. Keep yourself focused If you have a friend that always stirs things up Brings drama gets you upset. Did you hear what they said about you? You shouldn't let that happen Can I tell you you don't need that friend?

22:54 They're a peace stealer They're a drama queen You have enough drama in your life. You don't need them bringing drama Some people's hidden agenda is to stir things up Turn you against your co-worker get you jealous of your neighbor critical of your cousin You don't have time for that They don't have your best interests at heart. That's a fake friend Their goal is to create chaos Discontentment when they're around there's always some kind of trouble But god is not the author of confusion Your friends shouldn't drain you upset you true friends bring peace. True friends bring joy. You're better when they leave, not worse off. We all know Judas, the most famous fake friend. He was one of Jesus' disciples. He traveled with Jesus, saw the miracles, saw Lazarus come back to life, saw the food multiplied, saw Jesus going around being good to people, all this love and compassion. You would think Judas would be loyal, child, trustworthy, someone you could count on. But when Jesus was in the garden of Gethsemane about to be crucified, Judas came up with the Roman soldiers to betray him. When he saw Jesus, he said, hello, rabbi, and kissed Jesus. Seemed like a friendly greeting, a warm embrace.

24:22 Look at how people can be two-faced. The kiss was a sign for the soldiers to arrest Jesus. behind the friendly greeting was a hidden agenda. Jesus knew all along what was going to happen. After the kiss, Jesus said to Judas in verse 50, do what you came to do, friend. He called Judas friend. He could have called him enemy, betrayer, hypocrite, but he called him friend. Jesus was showing us that not everyone that calls you a friend is truly a friend. Some people that seem like they're for you have hidden agendas. They see all the good you do. They see you loving your family, excelling at work, being a blessing to others. Instead of celebrating you and cheering you on, sometimes the enemy will plant a seed of jealousy, seed of bitterness, a seed of strife.

25:20 We all have a few enemies in life people that don't want us to succeed But sometimes the enemy is not obvious. It's a fake friend It's a judas Someone that greets us warmly, but has wrong motives Someone that gives us that friendly kiss But not out of affection is out of betrayal Pay attention to your enemies, but stay aware of your friends may not be something so dramatic like Judas betraying Jesus, but friends can get jealous. Friends can turn manipulative. Friends can have wrong motives. And again, it doesn't mean they're a bad person and you have to never see them again. No, but you should be aware so you don't open yourself up to harm. The scripture says, don't cast your pearls among swine. Your pearls are your gifts, your dreams, your personality. And I've learned some people can't handle your success. They were fine as long as you were at the same level, in the same department, you're still single. But if you pass them up and see more favor, you get married, you move into that nicer house, that can stir them up. They may applaud you on the outside, but on the inside, they think they don't deserve that promotion. I'm smarter than they are. A true friend will celebrate your success.

26:47 They're not competing with you, trying to outperform you, secretly hoping you'll fail. You get left out. You don't need people like that. If you see these signs of people critical, not for you, sometimes you just feel it on the inside. Something's not right. Don't make excuses for. Don't try to win them over. Just move forward and God will bring you friends that do celebrate you. Friends that are happy when you succeed. I'm sure you have some of those friends now, amazing people that you dearly love, that you can always count on. And I would guess that you may have a few fake friends as well. The key is to know the difference. You need to know when Judas is among you. Jesus never got rid of him. He was a part of his destiny, but he knew who he was. Now, fake friend, you don't bring into your inner circle. You don't tell them things that are confidential, that you don't want repeated. You don't let them control and manipulate you. You set some boundaries. You don't play up to them, waste your valuable time trying to keep them happy.

28:04 These may be co-workers that are going to be there for the next 10 years Maybe family members relatives that you know have hidden agendas They act like they like you, but you know better. They don't want you to succeed. That's okay You have the grace to handle it You don't let them upset you you don't take the bait when they try to stir you up You don't get offended when they leave you out You stay in peace. You know who they are They're just a fake friend Jesus came riding into jerusalem on that donkey palm sunday people shouted hosanna Blessed is he who comes in the name of the lord celebrating his arrival All this praise and people cheering him on Three days later the same people were shouting crucify him. He's not our king Jesus had a lot of fake friends to deal with In our journey, we're going to have some fake friends. You can't get rid of them, but you need to be aware Are you spending time and energy trying to keep people happy that have ulterior motives?

29:15 Are you doing things out of guilt pressure? They don't meet your demands. They get upset Maybe you have some delilas People with hidden agendas trying to take advantage of you wanting only what you can do for them Pay attention to who's in your life. Listen to the warnings Don't override that uneasiness. That's god speaking to you Remember you will know them by their fruit not by their words but by their actions Notice patterns that are not right things that don't ever change You don't have time to waste playing games being distracted that may have happened in the past but this is a new day. God is going to show you people that have hidden agendas. He's going to reveal wrong motives. You don't have to be rude to them, just quietly spend less and less time with them. If you'll weed out the wrong people, I believe and declare God is going to bring you true friends, people that want the best for you, that push you forward, that are loyal, trustworthy, that help you become all you were created to be.

30:26 In Jesus' name. And if you receive it, can you say amen? I'd like to give you an opportunity to make Jesus the Lord of your life. Would you pray with me? Just say, Lord Jesus, I repent of my sins. Come into my heart. I make you my Lord and Savior. If you prayed that simple prayer, we believe you got born again. We'd love to send you some free information on your new walk with the Lord, you can text the number on the screen or go to the website. But I hope you'll get into a good Bible-based church and keep God first place.

33:10 It's amazing what happens when you take a few moments throughout the day to connect with God. A moment to thank Him for His goodness. A moment to declare His promises. A moment to remember that He's working.

35:04 If you're not a partner, I hope you'll consider becoming one. Until next time, may the Lord bless you and keep you.