Feels Good To Be Loved | Chad Veach

0:00 What's going on, everybody? Thank you so much for joining us for today's message from Zoe Church. I'm excited. We're starting a brand new series today called Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places. Open up your Bible to 1 John 4. We're going to jump in in just a moment. But I want to say thank you to everybody that gives to and through our church We're excited because next week we're launching a brand new location And we have I love my city on this saturday All of this happens through your faithful generosity If you'd like to give go to our website and you can give there but let's jump into this week's message called feels good to be loved First john chapter number four, verse number 19. We love because he first loved us. Short verse today for you to start. Just a simple verse. First John chapter four, verse 19. We love because he, everybody put up your number ones, like we were playing the game uno. We love because he first loved us. I want to start a new series today. The title of our series is called Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places. And I want to encourage you on the first and the best place to find love.

1:28 And that is first, before we learn how to love others, we first learn how to receive the love of God. We love because he first loved us. All of your love starts with receiving before it leads to giving. I cannot give away love if I do not first receive love. So we love because he first loved us. Now I just want to teach us for a few weeks on how to love well. And I'm just believing that God will teach us about how to date well, how to have a great marriage. Any married people in the house today? Married folks? Okay. All right. Any single people in the church today? Single folks? Yo, what was that?

2:19 Like, let's be honest. What was that? Like, painful. we want to love well, but you cannot love until you receive love. We were driving in the Swagger Racking the other day, and my 10-year-old was in the back, and from the back seat, my 10-year-old son, he's got a Kindle, a kid's Kindle, and he said, Dad, the book I'm reading is teaching me about love. I said, excuse me? What book are you reading that's teaching you about love? And I was like, pass me the Kindle. And I said, son, you know the Bible teaches us about love. And I said, there's four types of loves in the Bible. The first love is phileo. It's where we get the word Philadelphia. It has to do with brotherly love. Like, oh, I love my brother from another mother. And then the next one is eros.

3:10 That's intimacy. That is the kind of love that me and your mama share. That's the love that single people and Zoe trying to get to. It's eros love. And then the next love is store hay, store hay. That's family love. I love my mom and dad. I love my brothers and sisters and cousins and nieces and nephews. It's family love. And the greatest love in the world, son, is agape love. It is unconditional love. Not love based upon behavior, but love based upon belonging. See, you're either a son or a daughter of a good father in heaven. And God does not love you if you come to church. God doesn't love you if you tithe. God loves you even if you do those things or don't do those things because he's a good father that loves his children.

3:59 So we love because he first loved us. The way I love is I receive love. And then I can love in the phileo. I can love in the store. I can love because I first receive love. And a lot of us, the problem is we refuse to allow God to love us, and then we start looking for love in all the wrong places. We start looking for love onto intranet. We start looking for love in places that will leave us in the end dry, empty, or unfulfilled. And we'll give you a few things to encourage you in your faith today. Right now, number one, you need living water love, not broken cistern love. You need living water love.

4:53 Because if not, you'll go after broken cistern love. Jeremiah 22, my people have committed two sins. They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and they have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns, that cannot hold water. the problem is a lot of us we choose broken cistern love over living water love and i'm just here to tell you today living water love will satisfy and complete and fulfill you broken cistern love will love you for a moment but cannot fulfill forever why because broken cisterns they leak. In fact, put this on the screen. Broken cisterns promise more than they can deliver. They cannot hold what your soul needs, and eventually they leak. This is the type of love that we think is going to fulfill us or complete us. By the way, let me just remind you, a human can complement you but cannot complete you. Only God can complete you. A human was never created with the ability to fill a God-sized hole.

6:14 We need the love of the Father to satisfy and to complete. We do not need some broken cistern love. Somebody say amen. Jesus is talking to this one woman at the well. She serves water at the well, high quality H2O. And she's serving water. And Jesus walks up and he's like, yo, let me get some of that water. And he said, if you knew who was talking to you, you'd ask me for water. he said because the water that I give the water that I give anybody that drinks of this water will never be thirsty again he said where where can I get this water and he said he says you you should go get your husband and tell him to go get the water and she says oh sir I'm not married he's like, I know. You've been with some dudes, and the guy you're living with right now, talking about should you live together before you get married, Jesus is clear.

7:24 He said, the dude you're living with right now, you're not even married to him. You've been with six guys, but the seventh man is here on the scene, and if you drink from my water, you'll never thirst again. She had been going from broken cistern to broken cistern from guy after guy that could not fulfill. And Jesus said, if you drink my water, you'll be satisfied. Last week for the Super Bowl, we were down in Santiago and I was preaching at a church down there and the pastor has acres of land and has horses. And he said, do you want to ride some horses. And I said, no, but I'm in front of my wife, so I must say yes. And so your boy, never been on a horse before, scared out of my mind. I'm riding a horse. And Julia's like, I used to do this when I was growing up. And I'm like, okay, chill out. And so I'm now riding a horse, scared out of my mind. And we ride horses, and I learned how to do that, and I just can't wait for it to And we get back to their house, and I have never been more thirsty in my life.

8:38 I don't know if it was like, you know, all the hay or the dirt or I've never done this type of stuff, okay? But we got back to the house, and I was like, I was parched to the maximum. And I just, I was like, please, water. And the pastor's wife gave me a cup of water, and I drank it so fast, she's like, let me get you a bigger cup. I was cold for it. You're crazy. And I'll just tell you, I was so thirsty. You need to understand your soul craves love. You desire to be seen and valued and cherished and embraced and celebrated and adored. And only the Father can do it in the way that your soul needs it. Somebody clap and thank God today. I don't need broken cistern love. Oh, come on, clap louder. I got living water love.

9:33 And only God can satisfy living water love. See, your problem is not your desire. Your problem is your direction. Write that down. Number two, you got to understand this about life. The problem isn't desire. It is direction. Look at Ecclesiastes 311. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart. He has set inside of every one of us a God-sized hole that can only be met by the Father's love. Your problem is not your desire. Your problem is your direction.

10:11 You're looking for love in all the wrong places. And I'm telling you, you might get that love, but it's not going to fill that void. you can get that that that girlfriend or boyfriend or you can get that relationship but only God can fill this void it's not your desire that's off it's your direction you're going so much of life is going in the right direction I am going to live for God I am going to do things God's way I am going to be connected in community I am going to be planted in the house of God. I am going to do things to the best of my ability. Come on, everybody. Praise the Lord. I'm going in the right direction. You know what the Bible calls this? The Bible calls this the straight and the narrow path. It says there's a highway that leads to the patriots.

11:08 There's a clear path. I'm preaching to somebody. The problem is not your desire. You know, and by the way, tonight, I'm so excited. We do this every year right after Single Awareness Day. And we do a big single party, after party tonight after the six. And he put up the graphic there for the singles after party. But we're going to do that tonight. And look at that. Singles after party. There's the date. there's the time. And if you're single, if you're single, we want to invite you out. Not so we can be like... let's just watch them.

12:00 You should have seen it last year at the single party. You've never smelled better cologne in your life. It's like walking through Bloomingdale's at church. I saw one guy who I've only seen in T-shirts put a collar shirt on. It is, if you're bored tonight, get on over here. But if you're single and you're looking for a significant other, all jokes aside, I'm praying you find somebody. God looks at Adam and he goes, this is not good. This is not going to end well. He needs a helper. Every guy's like, I know. man was not meant to be alone. So I'm so excited about connect groups starting tomorrow is you and I are so great.

13:01 We crave community. We crave relationship. Our souls crave connection. Phileo. Storhe. Eros. Agape. We desire love, not just one type of love, every type of love. He hardwired it into us to both receive and to give love. Julia and I celebrated yesterday our 18th Valentine's together. And I'm just telling you, outside of the love of God, the greatest other love I've ever found is covenant love, committed love, a love where we make covenant vows before God in sickness and in health, in rich or for poor, till death do us part. And I desired to find somebody. I desired then you have that desire. I'm believing God for the single people in our church. Come on, clap for all the single people. I'm praying that you find somebody.

14:13 I'm praying you find somebody that looks better than you ever prayed. I pray they got more money than you ever prayed. They got good hygiene. They're a tither, and they know how to lead you spiritually. Somebody say amen. Hallelujah. Glory to God. Thank you. The problem's not desire. The problem is direction. You're looking in the wrong direction for broken cistern love that can never fulfill, never complete, never deliver the promise that it gave you initially. No, I'm going to living water love that will heal me, free me, and deliver me. And out of that relationship, I have a shot at loving my spouse, loving my children, loving my church, and loving my life. See the difference?

15:08 You got to go after living water love. Otherwise, you're going to chase some broken cistern kind of love. Here's the problem. Write down number three. Don't trade real love for cheap likes. It's cheap stuff. Just a cheap like. I love the young people. They're like, ooh, got him.

15:31 No, he didn't. Are we talking about cheap likes? No, we're talking about you. don't trade everything about the enemy of your soul is trying to get you to trade what's real for what's inauthentic trade you what's eternal for what's temporary god's plan for your plan no don't let anybody tell you what to do with your time don't let anybody tell you what to do with your money. Don't let anybody tell you to do with your life. No, no, no. When you got what's eternal, you say, God, tell me what to do with my life. Tell me what to do with my money. Tell me what to do with, I don't, I can't love without your leadership. You got to be careful not to trade real love for cheap stuff. Yesterday, I got my boys in the swagger wagon, and we drove down to the flower district to get their mama some Valentine's flowers. I'm trying to raise up some men of God. And we're driving through downtown, and we're stopping at a stop sign, and there's just goods on our right and left. I'm talking about every kind of suit and jackets and coats and cologne, everything right downtown. And we stopped and I looked across, I seen some soccer jerseys and a Dodger jersey. And I said to my 12-year-old Winston, I said, see that Dodger jersey? It looks good, but once you wash it once, it's done. See, some of us would be like, oh, he looks good, but once you wash it, it's done. It's not going to last. You got to hold out for the God thing rather than the temporary cheap thing.

17:11 Stop trading stuff. Do you remember growing up? I don't know if you grew up with a mom that packed your lunch, but when I was growing up, my mom would pack my lunch. And I would try and trade the disgusting items that she put in there for something good. Do you know what it's like to try and sell a banana for a pudding? so many of us were like it's cheap but it's available it's cheap but it's here it's cheap but i have access it's cheap but it's fun it's cheap no no that thing's gonna leave you drier it's gonna leave you more empty it's gonna leave you dissatisfied it's gonna leave you delusion you're gonna lose your confidence hold out for the god thing rather than the cheap thing stop making deals with the enemy Jacob goes I'll trade you your birthright for a bowl of chili Esau goes it's temporary but I need it you do not need somebody that's going to leave you high and dry you got to be careful because in this culture we love attention we live for affection and attention you got to be careful because you're going to confuse attention for covenant Proverbs 7, the adulterous woman is what we call her in the Bible.

18:49 She loves the temporary. Proverbs 7 talks about the woman that's willing to violate her covenant commitment. Watch what it says, Proverbs 7. Come, let's drink deeply of love till morning. Let's enjoy ourselves with love. My husband is not at home. He has gone on a long journey. He has taken his purse, weird, but okay, filled with money and will not be home till full moon. You were thinking it. With persuasive words, she led him astray. She seduced him with her smooth talk till an arrow pierces his liver like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it would cost him his life. he didn't know, oh, I'm going to go after the cheap thing. It's going to cost me my whole life, but it does. But sin always presents itself better than it is. Sin is always good in the passing pleasures. Sin is fun until the bill comes. But when you go God's way, you'll never regret making the decision. I will not exchange what's real. Oh, come on, everybody. Clap and thank God. I'm not messing with the cheap stuff. If I can get a dose of the real stuff.

20:16 In fact, I would say the only reason why the cheap stuff looks so good is because you haven't really experienced the real stuff. Because when you experience the real stuff, you go, no, no, no. Nothing can compare to the love of the Father. Nothing can compare to the presence of God. Nothing can compare to covenant committed relationship. Put it on the screen. This is the reality you need to be aware of. Attention feels intoxicating, but it's not covenant. Desire is not devotion. Chemistry is not character. Attraction fades, but love stays. We get caught up like, whoa, there's attraction and affection and they desire me and they like me. All that. No, no, I'm not looking for the cheap stuff. Julie and I, I'll tell you what, we stood there in front. Both of our dads married us.

21:10 They did the wedding together and I stood there and we make covenant commitment to each other and we know that attraction could fade, but commitment lasts forever. you do not need someone that you're just attracted to you need someone that you're committed to that you're devoted so tonight at the singles party you might meet somebody let's find out do they have character do they know how to be committed do they have substance do they have conviction do they have values some of us need to hire our standards not lower them some of you your standard is are you a human i'm a human no way no way you love the dodgers i love the dodgers this is so crazy because I like tacos. And you like tacos? This is God. This could be God. No, it's not. It's just LA. It's not God. Attraction fades. Proverbs 31. What does it say? Charm is deceitful.

22:21 Beauty is fading. But a woman that fears the Lord will be praised. You know what it's talking about? walking in the fear of God. it's saying, I will allow my desires to line up with my direction. I'm not gonna walk down a path of cheap stuff. Looks good hanging there, it's not gonna last. You could buy it, you could have it, but you're gonna have to go buy it. The woman at the well, she had to go through person after person, and she would've just kept going until she met Jesus. And I want to tell you, you would have kept going until you met Jesus. But you experienced living water love and you've never been the same. Somebody thank God for that. See, when you're a Jesus follower, when you're a Jesus follower, you faith things instead of force things. When you follow Jesus, you're into faith stuff instead of force stuff.

23:30 The story about this man, Saul, in the Bible, and Saul is the king of Israel, and Samuel's like his pastor and Samuel says, wait here for the appointed time, wait for the right time and then we're gonna make a sacrifice and then Samuel leaves. And the Bible says, while Samuel's gone, things kind of go haywire and things aren't looking good. See, the thing about life that I always have to encourage you in is be patient. God is never early and he's never late but he's always what? on time. And Saul starts to freak out. And Saul's like, I don't know what to do here. And so he takes matters into his own hand. Worship team, come join me. Watch what it says here, 1 Samuel chapter 13, verse 12. I said, now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the favor of the Lord. So I forced myself and offered the burnt offering.

24:31 man that those words hit me like because I don't know how many times I've forced things in my own strength in my life have you I'm gonna force this it's gonna make it's gonna work how I want and I'm gonna force it and I'm gonna some of you know how to force friendships and force favor and force deals but when you follow Jesus you stop forcing and you start faithing I'm not because by the way whatever you force, you've got to sustain. But whatever you faith, God will pay the bill for everything he's a part of. so when we follow Jesus it's not by force it is by faith by faith I serve the Lord by faith I worship him by faith I wait on God by faith I serve by faith I tithe by faith I take a Sabbath day of rest by faith I wait for the right person by everything we do is not by force it is now by faith. So my question to you is, are you walking by sight or are you walking by faith? Do you know how much faith it takes for us to launch the South Bay right now? And I'm so grateful for our team that's live linked with us right now. Thank God for every volunteer that's down there serving, getting ready for next Sunday. Come on, church, clap and honor them. Faith, by faith, by faith, by faith. It will continue. Not a one-time event of faith. Following Jesus is an everyday commitment to say, I'm not going to walk by what I feel. I'm not going to walk by what I see. I'm not going to walk by what I hear. I'm going to walk by faith. Faith people hear different. Faith people see different. Faith people think different. Because we're not going by our emotions. We're going by what God says about us. Amen? He says, so I freaked out, and I didn't know what to do, and so I forced myself. I just tell you, man, I've been around long enough to see some relationships that have

26:42 been forced, some marriages that have been forced, some things that are by the strength of man and not by the strength of God. How do you know it's God? When it's God, it's easy. By the way, if you're dating and you fight a lot, you think it's bad now?

27:02 Hello, church. If you force it, you're going to have to sustain it. But if it's God, watch, when you know it's God, there's peace, joy, love, mercy, self-control, perseverance. It's the strength of heaven at your back. Amen? Don't force stuff. Don't force it. you don't have to force friendship. You don't have to force business deals. You don't have to force transactions. Trust in God. Don't take matters into your own hands. Lay it at the foot of the cross and say, you are the author and the finisher of my faith. I walk by faith and not by sight. Jesus' followers, faith things so we don't have to force things. I heard this story about this preacher. He's getting ready to launch a new building. He's trying to build a building. And he had a meeting with his church. And he's just, by faith, just trying to raise the money and build this building. So he got in front of the church, and he's just telling them, the local church is the hope of the world.

28:21 He's telling his church, you know, the church, it's where people find salvation. It's where people get discipled. It's where they get baptized. It's where they find community and connect groups. It's where they raise up their kids in the house of God. It's where we leave it late. He's just preaching by faith about the church. And as he's talking about faith, come on, we're gonna build this building. We're gonna see God rescue people out of darkness and bring them into life. What's better than the church? It's preaching faith, preaching faith, preaching faith. And as he's just preaching by faith, he mentions, you know, maybe that nonprofit doesn't need your money like the house of God. Maybe that education doesn't need your money like the house of God. But he's not being manipulative. He's not forcing anything. He's just preaching faith. After the service, this couple comes up to him. He said, pastor, when you're preaching faith, something rose up in us.

29:13 and said, I gotta give to the house of God. I gotta put my faith with God's people. And they gave a donation by faith to this building campaign. They gave $15 million. And they said, we were just about to give this money to our alma mater, but we recognize God spoke to us. We need to give to the house of God. When I heard that story, I thought, you know, this couple's not going, well, you know.

29:43 Pastor made us. Pastor pulled our arms. That's not by force. Everything we do is by faith. If you're waiting for the perfect person to get married to, do it by faith. If you're trying to get pregnant and you're believing God for a child, by faith. If you're waiting for the right position in your workplace, wait by faith. Don't take matters into your own hands. I know the God that can split the sea. I know the God that can shut the mouth of the lion. I know the God that can take out a Goliath. I know the God that was there in the lion's den. I know the God that's faithful in the fiery furnace. Come on, clap today if you believe. God is good. God is faithful. God is kind. God is generous. And if God be for us, who can be against us? Come on, stand to your feet.

30:37 Again, thank you so much for listening. We hope that today's message brought you great strength and great encouragement. Make sure you hit the like and subscribe button. Make sure you leave a comment if today's message blessed you. And we'll see you back next week at Zoe Church.