Graze In Your Own Pasture – Secret #5 – Part 2

3:04 All right, let's get started with a message we started on Monday's program. I titled my message, Graze in Your Own Pasture. Today, as we continue our series on the book of Proverbs, we're going to look at one of those stop signs that God has put into effect for our benefit. And the stop sign is very clear. It's very simple. God's word says, no sex outside of marriage. That boundary, that stop sign has been put into effect for our benefit, yet when we ignore it, we're putting our emotional, our spiritual, and even our financial well-being at risk. Instead of ignoring that stop sign, Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, learned the hard way that the best way to experience emotional and sexual fulfillment in life is to follow God's guideline, which is simply to graze in your own pasture.

4:10 And today, for the few minutes that we have, we're going to look at what I call five fatal fallacies found in the book of Proverbs. Five fatal fallacies in our thinking that lead to sexual immorality and especially adultery. Let's jot those down today. Number one, What's the fallacy, the error that leads us into sexual immorality? It's the thought that it could never happen to me. Some of you are already starting to feel a little self-righteous right now. You say, well, pastor, I could never fall into doing that. Don't fool yourself. The fact is, any one of us here today is capable of falling into sexual immorality. I'm capable of falling into sexual immorality. And the reason is twofold. First of all, because we have all inherited a corrupt nature. But there's a second reason we're all susceptible to this sin, and that is because we have an active opponent.

5:10 Our active opponent, Satan himself, whom we all have, means not one of us here today is exempt from the possibility of sexual immorality. Fallacy number two that leads to immorality and destruction. We are only friends. You know, most affairs begins as a friendship that is set to meet some great emotional need that we have. How can you know if a friendship you have with somebody of the opposite sex is wrong, is dangerous? Dr. Dennis Rainey has given eight warning signs of a friendship that can quickly turn into something else. Number one, you've got a need you feel your mate isn't meeting for attention, approval, affection, and that this other person begins meeting that need. Number two, you find it easier to unwind with someone other than your mate by dissecting the day's difficulties over lunch, coffee, or during a ride home. Number three, you begin to talk about problems you're having with your mate. Number four, you rationalize the relationship by saying that truly it must be God's will to talk so openly and honestly with a fellow Christian.

6:30 Number five, you become defensive about the relationship and protective of it. Number six, you look forward to being with this person more than with your own mate. Number seven, you wonder what you would do if you didn't have this friend to talk to. Number eight, you hide the relationship from your mate. Those are all warning signs that this friendship you think is so innocent is about to turn into something explosive. Be careful of relationships with those people outside of your mate. Fallacy number three that leads people to immorality and especially adultery. If it feels so good, it can't be so bad. Sounds like a country western song, doesn't it? if it feels so good how could it be so wrong you see the power of a temptation lies in the pleasure of the temptation the reason Solomon is so stridently in the book of Proverbs warning against sexual immorality is not because it doesn't taste good it's because it tastes great that's why he warns us about it now it's time to start telling the truth about sin especially the truth about sexual immorality. Sexual immorality is fun. It's stimulating. It's exhilarating for a season. Listen to what Solomon said in Proverbs 5 verses 3 and 4.

8:01 For the lips of an adulteress drip honey and smoother than oil is her speech, but in the end She is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Solomon is saying that bait that looks so appealing and so attractive. And don't forget, there is a hook in the middle of it that will cost you your life.

8:27 Fallacy number four leads people into sexual immorality. It's the wrong thought that, well, I can stop anytime I want. I can stop anytime I want. You see, the problem with sexual immorality and any kind of sin is not only is it pleasurable, it is also addictive. Sexual immorality is very addictive, but Satan doesn't want you to know that. In fact, since the beginning of time, Satan has been dangling this lie in front of us that says, sin leads to freedom. Isn't that the line he tried on Eve in the garden and it worked? He said, Eve, this tree that God has told you you can't eat of, he said you can eat of any other tree except this one. The reason God doesn't want you to eat of this tree is because he doesn't want you to experience the exhilaration, the happiness that you deserve.

9:23 If you will simply disobey God in this area, you can have the freedom you deserve. Ladies and gentlemen, sin never leads to freedom. It leads to slavery. The reason we fall into sin, first of all, is because the wrong thoughts we have about God. We think God is some cosmic killjoy who doesn't want us to have a good time. And so we fall for the line of Satan that says, if you really want to experience exhilaration, disobey the stop sign, this boundary that God has put into effect. But what we find is that sin, it doesn't lead to freedom. It leads to slavery. The fact is you cannot sin just a little bit and stop. When you sin once, you sin again and again and again. Peter said it this way in 2 Peter 2 verse 19. By what a man is overcome, by this he is enslaved. There's some of you right now, you're engaged in sexual immorality and you think you are free.

10:25 You're experiencing great freedom. no the bible says if you want to know what you're a slave to in life just ask yourself this question what is it i cannot stop doing what is it no matter how hard i stop i can't stop doing it what addiction in your life has overtaken your life whatever it is you cannot stop doing that's your master in life. That's what you're a slave to. By what a man is overcome by this, he is enslaved. I remember one time in my last church, I was trying to illustrate this point about sin becoming addictive and becoming our slave master. And I illustrated it with a story about my own habits. I said that, you know, one thing that I enjoyed every night, every Sunday night when I came home after preaching all day was a half a pint of Haagen-Dazs vanilla ice cream. And that's how I rewarded myself on Sunday. I came home and had a half a pint of ice cream on Sunday night. Every week I would do that. Well, one Monday afternoon, I was driving home from the church and I said, you know, most pastors don't even go into work on Mondays, but I do. I work every Monday, so I need to give myself a little treat. And so I pulled into the Albertsons grocery store and bought another pint of vanilla ice cream. Took it home that evening. I enjoyed it. And so what had turned into a one day a week habit turned into a two day a week habit.

12:01 And then one Friday I was coming home from church. And I said, you know, a lot of men are going home and on the way home, stopping off at the liquor store and buying a fifth of Jack Daniels to go home and consume, or they're going out and partying and all of this. And I'm going home to my family that I love so much. I need to reward myself a little bit for not engaging in that sinful behavior that all these other pagans are doing. So I stopped in the Albertsons grocery store there and bought another pint of Haagen-Dazs vanilla ice cream. So what had started out as a Sunday night behavior now became Sunday night, Monday night, and Friday night. Pretty soon I had found a reason to have Haagen-Dazs ice cream every night of the week. I'd become addicted to it. Well, I was telling this story in my last church. I swear this is absolutely the truth. Closed the service, gave the invitation.

12:56 people started coming forward to make their decisions for Christ and this girl came down to the front and I recognized that girl but I couldn't place her and this was back in the days before I wised up when I gave the microphone to her and I said no I know you from somewhere where do I know you she said I'm the clerk at Albertsons that sells you your ice cream every week I lost control of the service at that point.

13:26 Now look, other than an expanding waistline, there's not a lot of harm in Haagen-Dazs ice cream. But there's other sin that is destructive. The Bible says when you engage in sexual immorality, the first time you do it leads to the second time. The second time leads to the third time. and before you know it, you're enslaved. Proverbs 5 verse 22, Solomon says, his own iniquities will capture the wicked and he will be held with the cords of his own sin. There's some of you right now who are engaged in pornography. You're engaged in premarital sex. You're engaged in an adulterous relationship and you say, well, I can stop anytime I want. really then why aren't you stopping now the fact is sin never leads to freedom it always leads to slavery by what a man is overcome by this he is enslaved fallacy number five that leads to immorality and destruction nobody is getting hurt nobody's getting hurt some people say, well, now I understand the Ten Commandments. I understand the commandment against murder and theft. But sexual immorality, that's a victimless crime. Really? Now, there are a lot of victims when it comes to adultery. The victims include the innocent mate, the children.

15:02 Perhaps the greatest victim of adultery is the adulterer himself. There's no such thing as victimless sin. Sin always destroys people around the sinner, but sin also destroys the sinner himself. Listen to what Solomon said in Proverbs 6 verse 32. The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense. He who would destroy himself does it. How is it that sexual immorality, especially adultery destroys a person, consider first of all the physical cost of sexual immorality. The physical cost. You know, there's some people, and in our culture, sometimes we portray the adulterer as the victor. But most of the time, he is the victim. Listen to Proverbs 7, verses 21 to 23.

15:56 This is the anatomy of a seduction, how it happens. With her many persuasions, the adulteress entices him. With her flattering lips, she seduces him. Suddenly he follows her as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as one in fetters to the discipline of a fool, until an arrow pierces through his liver as a bird hastens to the snare, the trap, so he, the adulterer, does not know it will cost him his life. Sometimes that's literally. Sexual immorality sometimes costs a person his physical life. Do you know how to protect yourself against sexually transmitted disease? All this talk today about safe sex, you cannot safely sin against Almighty God without consequence. The Bible says the only way to truly engage in safe sex is to obey that boundary that God has put into effect, no sex outside the marriage relationship.

16:57 but that's not the only way sexual immorality destroys our lives there's not only a physical cost there is a financial cost the fact is immorality can be very painful to the pocketbook listen to proverbs 6 verse 26 for on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread and an adulteress hunts for the precious life if you engage in sexual immorality it's going to cost you. It's going to cost you financially. Divorce can be financially costly. But thirdly, consider the emotional cost of sexual immorality. You know, there's some people who say, you know, I know it's dangerous. I know it can be financially costly, but I am so desperate to love somebody and be loved by somebody who understands me. I'm willing to take that risk. That promise of sexual and emotional fulfillment outside of marriage that is dangling in front of you, that is only an illusion. It's only a mirage. You are not going to experience permanent emotional and sexual fulfillment outside of the marriage relationship. One study of men conducted 10 years after their divorces found that 33% of them were intensely angry. 50% would end up divorced again. 80% experienced the same or a lower quality of life. 50% under age 50 were unhappily remarried. 66% over the age of 50 were unhappily remarried. And many saw their kids emotionally damaged.

18:35 I read a study once in Cosmopolitan Magazine. Don't ask me what I was doing reading Cosmopolitan Magazine. I don't remember. But I came across this study in Cosmopolitan Magazine that said 80% of men who divorced their wives and remarried again said if given the chance, they would remarry their first mate. Now that is an amazing statistic. 80% of these respondents to a survey who had left their wives in order to marry somebody else who promised them emotional and sexual fulfillment, 80% of them said, if given the chance, I would undo that mistake and go back and remarry my first mate. It's time that we start telling the truth about sexual immorality of any kind. The truth is, it's appealing, it's exhilarating it's pleasurable only for a season what appears to be honey will turn out to be as bitter as one would what's the key to experiencing sexual and emotional fulfillment in our life that we all desire Solomon gave us the prescription for that kind of fulfillment in Proverbs 5 verses 18 to 21 instead of looking outside of marriage for that fulfillment look for it within the marriage relationship that God has created. Solomon said it this way in Proverbs 5 verse 18. Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth.

20:12 As a loving hind and a graceful doe, let her breast satisfy you at all times. Be exhilarated always with her love. For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress and embrace the bosom of a foreigner. For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he watches over all of his paths.

20:38 Perhaps that last sentence is the strongest argument for abstaining from sexual immorality. for some of you right now, some of you watching, listening to this message, you're engaged in sexual immorality. You think nobody knows what you're up to. That may or may not be the truth. I think of a church leader I know who had been carrying on an affair for a year. He thought nobody knew. What he didn't know was the elders of his church had hired a private investigator. They were following him. They were camped outside of the home of the woman he was carrying on with. And on a day that began like any other day in his work career, he was called in and summarily dismissed from his position.

21:35 the fact is you may think nobody knows what you're doing that may or may not be the case but God knows he's watching he's judging and eventually he will act and what I would say to some of you who are engaged in sexual immorality whether it's fornication adultery homosexuality pornography, don't confuse God's patience with God's tolerance for your sin. That's the mistake that King David made. He was engaged in this open relationship with Bathsheba. Day after day went, no consequence. Month after month passed, no consequence. And David began to think to himself, well maybe I'm special maybe I operate under a different set of laws because after all I'm a friend of God I'm the king maybe God doesn't care about my sexual immorality maybe God doesn't even really exist but on a day that began like any other day the prophet Nathan came into the court of David he pointed his finger in front of David and said thou art the man and that was the day of judgment for David that day is coming for you as well don't confuse God's patience with God's tolerance the only reason he hasn't intervened yet in your life is perhaps because he's given you one last chance to repent for the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord and he watches over all of his paths.

23:23 Whenever we touch on the sensitive topic of marital fidelity, it stirs up all kinds of emotions for husbands and wives. If you're prepared to learn more from Proverbs chapter 5 and discover how this passage applies to your marriage, be sure to request a copy of my book. It's called The Solomon Secrets, and my book includes an entire chapter on the subject we address today. We'd be happy to send you a copy when you give a generous gift to support the ministry of Pathway to Victory. Before we go, let me express a big word of thanks to those who give generously to Pathway to Victory. I want to encourage you with a remarkable comment I received from a listener named Charles. He said, Pastor Jeffress, for the past 42 months, I've been incarcerated in federal prison. I listen to your teaching on radio every morning during my exercise time. Prior to prison, I was depressed and felt like my life had become a complete waste. Your teaching helped me understand and accept that God is not done with me, despite all of my mistakes and humiliation. Through God's amazing grace, my marriage has been healed, and my relationship with my sons has flourished.

24:42 And then he proceeds to tell me about his plans to return home after completing his sentence as a spiritually renewed man. Isn't that great? Impacting listeners like Charles is possible because of your generous gifts. Remember, when you give today, I'd like to say thank you by sending my book, The Solomon Secrets. Here's David with all the details.