Hope in the Dark - Louie Giglio

0:16 we're bringing this collection to a close today but man what a journey what a journey to be able to offer hope and to be able to even to say today it doesn't matter what circumstance what season of life what you're up against we've come today to worship the god of all hope and in every situation with god the story isn't finished until god says it's finished and there's always hope. Psalm 42 opens interestingly with the header that not too many people ever really memorize or get tattooed on somewhere or anything else like that. The header of Psalm 42 is for the director of music, a mascal of the sons of Korah. What does that mean? It means that this psalm is a song. And probably the way this psalm was used in the congregation was it was sung. And so we're going to see today the power of songs and psalms and poetry as a part of the narrative of God bringing hope into our lives. And just thinking about it, before we dive into the text, there's a song that really parallels this text. And the message today, and maybe we'll have a chance to come back around it at the end today, but I wanted to just put it in our minds before we go too much further.

1:51 It goes back a moment, so you might remember it. If you do, just give a little hand wave when it starts. If not, you can learn it as a brand new song, but we won't listen to the whole thing. But I just wanted to get the imprint of it into the moment today as we listen to it across all our locations right now. Just a wave if you know this song. Okay, so we go all the way back. Be still, there is a healer. His love is deeper than the sea.

2:27 His mercy is unfailing. His arms are fortress for the weak. Let faith arise Let faith arise I lift my head to believe again. You are my refuge. You are my strength. As I pour out my heart these things I remember. You are faithful God forever.

3:15 Yeah. I'm sorry. Some of you are like, please don't let it end. I just was right there. We'll come back to it. I think it's beautiful to have a mascal, a song of praise, especially something that calls us to let faith rise. And if there was a title that we were going to put on this message today, it would be Hope in the Dark. And I don't know if anybody's been in the dark before in this gathering. Anybody been in the deep dark in this gathering? No? Well, I know that place. Shelly and I yesterday went to lunch at a place that we love here, a place that probably most of us have been at some point, and we were just having a nice lunch together. It really wasn't a lot of thought around where we were and all that, but Shelly was reminding me as we were at lunch that yesterday was Passion City Church's birthday. I don't know if you knew that or not, but we had a beginning 16 years ago at the Tabernacle when we opened our doors to the world for the very first time, two gatherings at the Tabernacle on that Sunday, and it was 16 years ago yesterday. So we're kind of celebrating that Passion City Church is having a birthday, we're having an amazing lunch, and that things are winding down, and then it dawns on me, what I've been carrying, this talk that I've been processing coming up to today about hope in the dark, that two booths over from where we were sitting having lunch yesterday, celebrating the birthday of Passion City Church, was where for a season of life, I felt like I had my last meal.

5:01 Shelly and I had gone to dinner at this very same place. Later that night, I woke up in the middle of the night thinking that was it for me. And it started a series of dominoes falling over that pushed me into a hole of darkness that I honestly did not even know existed. And for months I was out of commission after that last supper. And it was a long time after that before I had a meal in a restaurant again. and so I'm coming today realizing that some of you are living in places that a lot of the rest of us in this room don't even really fully know about but at least knowing in our story Shelly's in my story that there are deep pits that you don't see coming and sometimes you don't know how you got in there, and you're not really 100% sure how you got out. And that may not be all that helpful to anyone today. But the psalmist comes to us today, and he's speaking about that place.

6:08 And he's encouraging us that there's hope even in the dark. He says, as the deer pants for the streams of water. So my soul pants for you, my God. I want you just to notice how often the soul is referenced here. So yes, there's truth in this psalm, but this psalm is about the emotional, spiritual pilgrimage that the psalmist is experiencing. In other words, this psalm is identifying the fact that we're not just a brain, but we're also an emotion. We are emotional beings. We've been created as emotional beings. And he's speaking to the soul, to the inner man, to the emotions that he's feeling, to the emotional pilgrimage that he is on. And he says, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God. My tears have been my food day and night. Why people say to me all day long, where is your God? These things I remember as I pour out my soul, how I used to go to the house of God under the protection of the mighty one with shouts of joy and praise among the festive throng. Now that's not where I am right now. So he says, why my soul are you downcast?

7:47 And why so disturbed within me? Put your hope, there's our word, in God. For I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. My soul is downcast within me. Therefore, I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon, from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls. All your waves and breakers have swept over me. By day, the Lord directs his love. And at night, his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life. I say to God, my rock, why have you forsaken me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy? My bones suffer mortal agony, and my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, where is your God?

8:50 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. I think the most beautiful thing right off the bat about Psalm 42 today, talking about hope in the dark, is that this psalm is telling us today that it's okay to be in a struggle with mental illness. There's no shame in struggling with mental illness. There may have been some times in the past where no one would say that they were depressed or that they had anxiety or that they were having a mental struggle or that they were thinking about taking their life. But fortunately, we're moving into a place where the stigma is being lifted and people can talk about what the psalmist is talking about. And he says it two ways exactly the same in this psalm.

9:54 He says, why are you downcast soul? The meaning there behind the word is that the weight of what the psalmist is experiencing has pulled him down. And even more than pulled him down has began to depress him. And then he uses this word, why, my soul, are you so disturbed within me? In other words, the psalmist is saying, I'm depressed and I'm disturbed. And it's right here for everybody to see. It's not like that God said, okay, I want to work on all this, but don't talk about it. Don't write about it. Let's not put it in Scripture for crying out loud. No, God is saying part of the human journey is going to be an emotional pilgrimage. And it's right here for everyone to see. I remember in that season, we were meeting in homes as Passion City Church.

10:54 We had, you know, at first just a handful, a dozen, and then a few dozen, and then 50, 60 people, more like a little Passion City family. And we were meeting and worshiping and praying and believing and casting vision. And on one of the nights when I was just really falling apart at the beginning of this journey into this pit of darkness, we were having one of these gatherings. And I said to Shelly, I'm not going to be able to make it. You go. But, you know, just tell him to pray for me. And she encouraged me to think about coming. And finally, at the end of the day, we decided we would go. And so we're driving there. And Shelly's driving. And I am a complete wreck. I'm having all these physical symptoms. And all this stuff is going on in my head. I've already been in a couple of emergency rooms by now. I've already been to a couple of doctor visits by now. and we're riding in the car, turning to their driveway, and I'm literally shaking. And I'm like, I cannot go in there and let people see me like this.

11:49 and finally, you know, we took a deep breath, and we walked in to the Peterson's den, and I think what I said that night, obviously, I didn't have a message, and obviously, I wasn't in any position to lead anything. I think what I said that night was, I'm supposed to be the pastor of this church and look at me. I'm a wreck. and I think what I want to begin with today is what the psalmist is beginning with, and that is we've got a person who's depressed and a person who's disturbed, but with the honesty in this psalm, there's still hope. In the honesty of it, there's still hope.

12:46 In the honesty today, I want to just make sure we're kind of all on the same page that it's okay. And if you're here today, and somehow the enemy has tried to put a stigma on you because you're not okay, the psalmist is saying today, it's okay to not be okay. And we don't want to leave you there with that being the sum total of our message today, but it's okay to not be okay. And in the honesty and in the hope, the psalmist is trying to lead us to the place where we can recover our minds when it feels like we're losing them. And he gives us a few encouragements. And the first one is that we must seek the face of God. I love how in the message last week at all of our locations, the whole thrust of it was getting to Jesus.

13:57 What we were just singing in worship today, give me Jesus. And there's something I believe powerful. It sounds simple, I know. And trust me, there are no simple answers to mental health struggles. But if we're going to get to that place where we keep our mind and we are living sane, then we have to get face-to-face with God. There's something about being face-to-face with the Almighty that begins to eliminate a lot of the fear that is at the root of all of the depression and anxiety that is in our lives. That's what the psalmist is saying, is the deer pants for streams of water. My soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. And then he asked this question, when can I go or when can I go and meet with God? Now in the context here, for some reason, the psalmist wasn't allowed to get to the congregation.

14:58 The psalmist remembers the congregation, remembers the shouts of praise, remembers all the festive throng, but can't get there. And now the psalmist is asking, when can I go and meet with God? But in the Hebrew, this phrase is more translated, when can I be face to face with God? Not just get in the building, not just get into my quiet time, not even just get around a verse of scripture, but how through the living word of God can I get face to face with the sovereign God who reigns above the chaos in my life? And that's one of the things that you and I are going to have to fight for if we're going to retain our health of mine. It's that shift that's been made where all of a sudden we are so adept at multitasking that we multitask our time with God.

15:57 I mean, we got a podcast on over here teaching us something amazing. We got pasta going on the stove boiling. We got a kid yelling in the other room. We got a scripture verse up on the refrigerator and somehow it's just kind of like, I'm with you, God. I got to make sure this stuff doesn't boil over. No, don't get off of there, but I'm with you. Oh, that was a good point. I got it on two times speed, so it sounds like a hamster over there, but I'm getting it. Something's going in here. There's some edification happening over here. Or we're driving down 400 with the guy talking to us from the Bible app, reading the scripture to us because we got to get our chapter in for the day. Meanwhile, oh, there's a semi coming over in my lane. I missed that verse, but hey, that's cool. I'll hit rewind and get it again. And somehow we've multitasked our relationship with God and we've missed the face of God. It was the day we traded in in the West a prayer closet for a coffee shop.

16:53 I don't know who made that decision. If you want to meet with God, get all your stuff and go to the coffee shop, get a latte. Get in the corner by the window, put all your stuff out, your journal, your big Stanley, your little coffee shop coffee, your pen, your Bible, your devotional book, your grace and glory. Get it all out there. Get it all arranged good. Take a photo of it.

17:31 I'm meeting with God. It's like, no, you're not. You're wondering, who's Sherry? Is she going to go get her coffee or not? We got to get back to the deer who pants for the streams of water and says, when can I go and be face to face with God? The second thing the psalmist is encouraging us to do is to remember. He says it right in verse 4, these things I remember as I pour out my soul. And he says that again and repeats that in this psalm. That in the dark, I know that there are realities in the dark. Trust me, I know that there are realities in the dark.

18:26 Like I can't get out of bed. I know that reality. I'm balled up in the corner. I know that reality. I can't feel my face or my leg or my arm. I know all those realities. But I do know this, that even in the darkest place, you can still exercise memory. And what the enemy wants to do in the dark is to make us afraid of the future. And what God wants to do in the dark is remind us of his faithfulness in the past. The third thing the psalmist encourages us to do is to preach to ourselves. My goodness, we're good preachers when somebody else is across the table. don't you wonder sometimes if you should have like a master's degree in counseling when you leave one of those coffees and you're like, man, I just like laid it out for her. It was amazing.

19:22 It was so clear and so concise and so personal and was full of truth, but full of grace. And it was very pointed, but very kind. And I mean, I just told her. She would just do it. and then we get to ourselves, and we get down in the dark, and we have no idea how to talk to ourselves, and what the psalmist is saying is you got to learn how to preach to yourself. He says, why my soul are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Well, I'll tell you one reason, because all these naysayers are up here, and they are coming in from the outside, and they're taunting the psalmist the whole day saying, where is your God? Oh, really? Oh, I see how this is playing out. Oh man, amazing. Looks like you are really tight with the Almighty. might be one reason why he was depressed.

20:19 Could have been his circumstance, his situation. Disturbed. Why are you so disturbed within me? And then he has a short, powerful message for himself. Put your hope in God. You're like, oh, man, please. please do not give me that today as the helper for my struggle with mental health. Feels like a Christian band-aid.

20:50 No. If your hope is in God, it doesn't matter what you're up against. the story's not over until God says it's over. for I will, he goes on to say, I will yet praise him. In other words, there's something coming out of this pit. Amen? There's praise coming out of this pit. I don't know when, how, what, but I'm going to put my hope in God. Maybe you're like this psalmist, and you're listening right now to all the voices that are coming in from the outside, and there are plenty of them. Maybe some of them have said to you along the way, you're not wanted. And that's what's depressing you. And it's been depressing you for a long time.

21:43 Because somebody told you, you weren't wanted. Maybe they told you you're defective and you can't be fixed. Or you're too far gone. And you become a burden to the world. Maybe somebody told you, you just should end it all.

22:06 Make the pain go away. somebody told you, if people knew your true story, they'd all be gone. Everybody would be better off without you. You're not going to make it, man. I'm sorry. You are not going to make it through this. Or maybe somebody spoke over your life. I don't think God's coming through for you. and the downside is not just that that's a struggle it's when we begin to parrot what we've heard and now we're the voice telling ourselves that i'm not wanted or i'm defective or i can't be fixed or i'm too far gone i'm a burden for the world i got to end this pain if people knew my true story, everybody would bail on me. Everybody would be better off without me because I don't think I'm going to make it. And if you spend 10 minutes with me this week, that's what you're going to hear. Man, I don't think I'm going to make it. And I'm not sure God is going to come through for me. And the psalmist is saying, no, you have to take the mic and stop listening to yourself and start speaking to yourself.

23:31 Martin Lloyd-Jones said, have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself? Take those thoughts that come to you the moment you wake up in the morning. You've not originated them, but they're talking to you. They bring back the problems of yesterday, et cetera. Somebody is talking. Who is talking to you. Your self is talking to you. Now, this man's treatment, he's talking about the psalmist in Psalm 42, was this. Instead of allowing this self to talk to him, he starts talking to himself. Why art thou cast down, O my soul, he asked. His soul had been depressing him, crushing him, so he stands up and says, self, listen for a moment. I will speak to you. And when the psalmist speaks, he just says a simple phrase, put your hope in God.

24:37 I would encourage you to start there. And when all those voices come, just say, excuse me, soul, I'm talking now. Put your hope in God. Put your hope in God. Put your hope in God. And what I love about this is it's really lifting up a question today. What are you telling yourself? Are you looking into God's word? Are you gleaning the 10 key things that he's saying about you right now? And are you putting those into the conversation? Soul, I know, I know, I know, I know all that, but I want to tell you this today. I want to tell you this today. I want to tell you to put your hope in God today because of this truth today. namely i'm a loved son or a loved daughter of a perfect heavenly father oh i know it doesn't look like it it doesn't feel like it the circumstance isn't amening it but he gave his best for me that i could be born again as a son of god a daughter of god and i know i'm loved by god today that's what the psalmist is even saying he gets and understands the love of god for his life and he says, now I am going to put my hope in God. I think that's maybe why I'm here today. I'm not an expert on anything. Honestly, I'm not an expert on mental health for sure, but I am here today to say that if you are in it and you think that you are crazy, you are not crazy. So if you're telling yourself, like I was telling myself for weeks, I'm going crazy. But now, if I'm in that pit again, I'm not going to say I'm going crazy because I'm not crazy. And I'm here to tell you on behalf of God, you're not crazy. Now, there may be crazy in it. Amen.

26:32 There may be some real crazy in it, but you're not crazy. And so tell yourself, I'm not crazy. I have the mind of Christ. Oh, it seems like could be crazy, but I'm not crazy.

26:52 And then maybe just finish where we started. It's okay to not be okay, but finish that. Here's the real story that you need to be telling yourself. I'm not okay. But don't put a period there. That's where so many times we just end the sentence. I'm not okay. Anybody want to just say that today? Hey, heads up. I'm not okay. But the psalmist is helping me understand. That's the whole truth. Jesus has never been depressed. He's never had an anxious thought. He's never been afraid.

27:44 He's never thought about ending his life. He's never been despondent to the pit of despair. And he's with me. So I'm not okay. But that's not my whole story today. So soul, it's okay to not be okay. Just want you to know you're free to be honest and authentic today. And I'm going to be right there with you. I'm not okay. But I want us to know, soul, that even though we're not okay, Jesus is okay. And Jesus is in the story today with us right here and right now. And Jesus, his perfect love, 1 John 4, 18 says, there is no fear in love. Now, fear is the root of so much of what is disturbing us inside. But perfect love, and that's the love that God is giving us, drives out fear.

28:46 Perfect love drives out fear. So even that simple statement from God's word, I am loved. And because of that, I have nothing to fear. If you're struggling right now with that simple thought and you don't feel loved or lovely, that's creating a void that fear is rushing into right now. But when you embrace the fact that God perfectly loves you, it pushes out the fear and replaces it with hope that God is in the story. And I'm here today just as a reminder that whatever it is, you are going to make it through. the fourth thing that the psalmist is encouraging us in and is that we must pierce the darkness when we're in it with worship that's what he says in this text look at verse eight he says by day the lord directs his love so we get that there's the love that perfect love of God and at night his song is with me a prayer to the God of my life now this is intriguing because it's in the night where you think everything ends but he's saying no in the night worship can still go on Paul and Silas in that prison beat up at midnight are still singing hymns of praise to God and the spirit moves and the whole jail is shaken Thank you.

30:29 and what the psalmist is saying is that God can give a song even in the darkest place, and we've got to sing it. I know a few months in to this crazy journey, we're in bed at night, Shelly's asleep next to me. I've told this story so many times, but I want to just keep telling it. I want to keep telling it. I want to keep testifying from the pit. and 2.30 comes again, and I hate going to sleep because I know 2.30 is coming, and I'm going to be wide awake, and there's going to be this weight, this cloud, this dread, this doom is just going to descend, and I don't know how to manage it. I don't know what to do with it. I don't know where to put it, and on this particular night, I'm done. I've been through so many doctors. Nobody has been able to write that simple sentence. This is what happened to you and what is happening to you, do X, Y, and Z, and by Tuesday, you will be fine.

31:33 It's the intangible. I can't see it. I can't put my hands around it. I don't know what to do with it. And in that particular night, just desperate, I said to God, God, you gotta help me. just so broken down, so weak. And the Holy Spirit, he never leaves us. And in that moment, the Holy Spirit helped me and reminded me of a season of life decades before when our family had gone through a huge challenge when I was in college. And I'd been up through the nights praying and crying out to God for a miracle. And I learned in that season, Job 35, 10, that God gives songs in the night. That there are certainly songs to be sung in the day, but God gives songs in the night.

32:26 And I said right then and there when the Holy Spirit reminded me of that, I said, God, if you will give me a song, I will sing it to you right now. I'll praise you. and just like that a song dropped into my heart could have been, you know, a huge Chris Tomlin song or a big Matt Redman song. They were both journeying with us as we were moving through life. But it was just this little heaven song. It probably to anybody else wasn't anything. the words after the next day or so I wrote down in my journal were these, Be still, my soul. There is a healer.

33:19 his love is deeper than the sea, his mercy is unfailing, his arms a fortress for the weak. And I said to God that night, you didn't heal me last week, you didn't heal me yesterday, you didn't heal me today, and I don't know if you're going to heal me tomorrow, but I do know that you're a healer because I have read the story and I know people and I've experienced in my own life, the healing power of God. So I don't know if you're going to heal me or not, but I know that you are a healer. So I'm not going to praise you because you healed me. I'm going to praise you because you're a healer. And I'm going to sing this little song. It's not much of a song at all, but I'm going to sing this the rest of the night. Be still, my soul. There is a healer. His love is deeper than the sea. His mercy is unfailing. And his arms a fortress for the weeks. And I just had this simple little melody, and I would sing it over and over and over and over and over and over.

34:15 finally fell asleep, woke up the next day. And guess what? 2.30 came the next day. Same cloud, same dread, same doom, same weight, same darkness, same heavy. But I had a song at 2.30 and I sang it. And I kept singing that song at 2.30 until finally the song was bigger than the cloud. And yes, doctors helped me. And yes, friends and prayer helped me. But I'm telling you, I believe it was worship that was at the tip of the spear that poked a hole in the darkness and let a ray of the light of God in. And I'm telling you, worship is amazing at noon, but it is a wrecking ball to the darkness at night.

35:16 and then lastly I would just close by saying this what the psalmist I think is encouraging us to do by just putting his story out there is he's saying to you today step into the light in a different way he's saying to you today get help step over the stigma and just come into the light because God is in the light today and you can put your hope in him. You know, in this Psalm, in Psalm 42, two places here, he repeats himself. Why, my soul, are you downcast? And then in the last verse, he repeats it again. If you go over to Psalm 43, it ends and repeats it a third time.

36:08 What is that telling us today? It's telling us today that it's possible that there's no instant solution to a persistent condition. So, Louie, what do I do if I take the psalmist's advice and I find a song in the night and I put my hope in God, but then tomorrow I'm right in the darkness again? Put your hope in God tomorrow. What if I have to stay in it for a month? Put your hope in God. Every single step of the month, put your hope in God and keep putting your hope in God. Not that, oh, wow, I saw the miracle and the breakthrough and all of that happened so quickly. No, just keep putting your hope in God and walk towards the light. that girl in Colorado, I've talked about her so much over the last decade, sharing her story and tour nights all across America and church here at our church and all kinds of places around the world.

37:15 It's preaching to several thousand high school and middle school students at an event in Colorado and not preaching on any of this. Worship is happening as a response. And I believe the Lord just put this girl on my heart. This high school girl. It's almost like she was standing right in front of me. And he said, somebody in this room's got a plan to end it all.

37:40 Not that they've been thinking about it. They got a plan. And I want you to encourage them that if they step in the light, I'll meet him in the light and all of a sudden Psalm 118 17 came into my heart I will not die but live and I will declare what the Lord has done he said speak that over her and give her a chance to step in the light I was like okay walked up after the song nodded to my friend, said, I'm going to share. Very succinctly said, somebody in this room has got a plan. I didn't give any specific details because I just had an impression I wasn't. And I said, if that's you and you're in this room and you have a plan, I don't mean that you've been sad or that you've been lonely or that you have been depressed. I mean, you have a concrete plan when this Jesus event is over, that you are gonna take steps in that plan and lead this life.

38:49 I just wanna tell you, God sees you tonight. He knows that you're in this room and he will meet you in the light if you'll just step in it with him. And you'd be able to say what the psalmist said, I will not die, but I will live. And I'm gonna have a story to tell. and I said if that's you all these people in this room are going to pray everybody pray if that's you, you just lift your hand up as high as you can I'm looking for you and I want to pray for you Okay, bless you. Beautiful. and like in this moment right here where some people raised their hand in that night i'm gonna say conservatively 150 hands went up when I said I'm sorry I wasn't clear please everyone put your hand back down I said again know what I'm saying tonight it's not that at some point I'm saying that right now you have a plan it's there's a letter written on your computer or in your journal in the drawer by your bed right now the letter's already there Dozens of hands went back.

40:17 come. I found out later when the night had ended and one of the leaders said, did you plan on doing that? And I said, no, I don't know if I've ever done that before. and he said, you are standing right now in the zip code in Colorado that has the highest rate of teen suicide. and what that girl who I believe I ended up meeting that person knowing who that person was what she represented to me was an opportunity for the church to realize that there are people sitting on your row. who need to know that this is an okay place.

41:18 to step into the light and say I need help. And I want to say what the psalmist said. I will not die, but I will live.

41:39 And I'm going to declare what the Lord has done. Because at the end of this psalm, it says put your hope in God. Why though? Because I don't want to be depressed. That's not the only reason. Why? Because I don't want to be disturbed anymore. I want peace. I want normalcy. I want wholeness. But that's not the whole story. Yes, the psalmist's good is in the story, but also God's glory is in the story.

42:10 Because if I don't die, I have the opportunity to glorify God. and if I put my hope in God in time he's going to bring me through and I'm going to have a story to tell and it's going to be a powerful story because I'm going to talk about a place that you don't come out of very easy but that God can reach down into and can pull you up and pull you out he's working right now for your good but he's also working right now for his glory I think it's just interesting at the end of it all. You know that song, I Lift My Hands, crazily became a number one Christian radio song.

42:57 And people singing that song, being encouraged, I'm singing it, being encouraged, but I know where it came from. and I'm like how could God use that night that 2 30 to redeem and encourage and breathe and even to do something that probably will never happen again in my lifetime and that is to put me on the Grammy website. I did not make this up. We just went and chopped this off the Grammy website. I didn't honestly even know I was on there listed as an artist. at the 54th annual Grammy Awards was my one nomination and my zero wins.

43:53 I had one shot. We had one shot that night. Because that little refrain that I sang all through that night ended up in a songwriting session in a season of life where I was writing music. and I was sitting in a little writing circle with a pretty decent worship leader named Chris Tomlin and a really good friend and a great songwriter named Matt Marr. And as we would normally do in those kind of moments, anybody got anything, a thought? I got these few lines scribbled from 2.30 in the morning.