How Do I Hold It Together? Rev. Reginald W. Sharpe Jr Wednesday August 17, 2022

1:14 have reaped the harvest in your own life. So we encourage you family. Sow, sow Be generous in your giving. I want to even challenge you to give a $20 seed if you can tonight. Do what you can. Do what you can. But get as close to a $20 seed as you can tonight and continue to sow into the great ground here at Fellowship. Well, let's get into this message, and I'll be back after the message. Peace, peace. Sometimes I try to bring a neatly pressed shirt. I told my wife that sermons are like shirts sometimes. And whenever I come to the pulpit at fellowship, I try to bring you a pressed sermon. You know, all the wrinkles are out of it at least as best I could. I want it to be pressed and pristine and neat and organized. And I told my wife, I said, but this week I feel like I'm bringing a wrinkled sermon to the pulpit. And God is going to have to iron this out as we travel through this sermon together. So I invite you on a journey with me because I want you to feel this in a different kind of way.

2:15 I want you to feel this in a different kind of way. We have so many anniversaries. We have so many anniversaries that have come up. Death anniversaries are coming up where we started to realize that people were really, really going to be affected by COVID-19. I remember we all were apprehensive. We all were trying to figure out, was it real? And it didn't take until the first full week of this virus last year to realize that, oh yeah, there are church members right here in our midst who were affected, whose lives were almost lost, and some who did lose their lives. So a lot of anniversary. How am I supposed to put all this together how do you surmise or encapsulate a whole year of being in this pandemic how do you how do you honor this day with some level of holy respect and reverence uh to to be able to give people the space to realize we've been in this thing for a year and not just that but a couple days ago I got a message. I got a message that one of our young men at our church, Lamonte, Lamonte, Lamonte Barnes, 20 years old, was murdered right here on the south side of Chicago. He's the son of Deacon Bernard and Minister Aurelia. And I'm trying to figure out how do you, how do I bring all this together? I mean, I'm coming to this preaching moment with a whole lot on my mind. The death of this young man, Lamonte Barnes. And then after I went to the hospital with Elder Monica to stand with his parents after they viewed his body in the hospital, the next three days I would receive at least five more messages of deaths right here in our church family. Deaths. Timothy Kelly,

4:21 his grandmother, Miss Maybelle Kelly passed away. Thursday and Friday, I got these messages that our own minister, Lisa Sparks, recently lost her sister and her niece within a week. Rosetta Woods' father passed away. Mr. Nathaniel Barnes. And then Melvin Eskew's mother, Mrs. A Leather, Jackson passed and went home to be with the Lord. And then one of our newer members, Robert Threat's father passed away, went home to be with the Lord. I'm wrestling with how do I approach this moment knowing we've been in a pandemic for a year. All of these death notices that hit me back to back. Death anniversaries coming up for me. I've already started preaching if you ain't caught on yet. Death anniversaries happening and coming up. The reliving the trauma and the drama of what happened last year.

5:14 And then my own grandmother, my own grandmother, who personally, that affects me because she's doing well. She's healing. But I forgot that healing is painful too. I forgot how painful and what a process healing is after an 81-year-old woman has not walked for nine weeks. Now she has to relearn how to walk all over again. All of this I'm carrying into this. And then I wore my purple today to make sure that I didn't let you forget. I still know it's Women's History Month. This purple is the color of womanism. And how do I approach this moment dealing with the fact that our women, our sisters, still are faced with the problems of patriarchy and the systems of sexism? How do you bring in the fact that all over the news you hear of this controversial interview with Harry and Meghan revealing the racist regime and realities in Buckingham Palace over in England? And then on top of that, the vaccine, what are we going to do?

6:16 All the questions, all the concerns, all the misinformation, all the mixed information. Do I get Johnson & Johnson? Do I get Pfizer? Do I get Moderna? How should I do it? Am I having faith if I do it? Do I not have faith if I do it? I talked to at least four or five brothers who said, well, if everybody else getting the vaccine, what I need it for? You know, it's just all of this mixed information. People are nervous. People are anxious. There is this cultural and ancestral apprehension that is legitimate because we've been used before as black people in this country. There have been projects done before and we were not given the upper end of the stick. And there is legitimate reason to have concern. All of this has been flowing through my mind and here I go walking into the pulpit of fellowship, praying and seeking God, asking the Lord, what do you want me to say considering this one year anniversary? What do I say considering all of the death anniversaries and all of the traumatic anniversaries that are coming up for people?

7:22 Six or seven death notices in a matter of two or three days. My own personal family going through stuff with my grandmother with the negligence at her rehabilitation center. And they really ought to be glad I'm in Chicago because if I was in Atlanta, I'd be outside making a whole bunch of noise. women's history muffs still faced with the problems of patriarchy systems of sexism Harry and Meghan and all the questions that rise from that the vaccine should I get it should I not get it questions concerns misinformation and God led me to one verse it was the only verse that could speak through all of the things swirling in my head and maybe you've never been there before maybe your mind has always been a calm pool maybe your mind has always been a placid lake full of serenity and tranquility well god bless you but i got all of this swirling and i'm trying to discern the voice of god through all of the things going on in the world because as a preacher i i try to bring to the pulpit what kenyatta gilbert describes the tri-vocal preaching t-r-i-v-o-c-a-l tri-vocal preaching is prophetic voice it's a priestly voice and it's a sagely voice the prophetic voice allows me to speak truth to power what's going on in the world what do i need to address that's happening that affects us systemically then the priestly voice that's my pastoral voice that sees the hurt and the grief and the pain of family members that wishes that marriages would be mended and young people would stay in school to keep options that's the priestly side of what i do and then there's this sagely side where i pull in the wisdom of my people of our communities stuff like I know the Lord will make a way somehow stuff like what grandma used to tell us everything happens for a reason and what doesn't kill you will make you stronger so when I enter into this moment King Yada Gilbert in his book the promising journey of African-American preaching says that the good preacher the the the responsible preacher doesn't just have one voice but you ought to in you ought to embody tri-vocal preaching prophetic priestly and sagely and I'm wrestling with God

9:31 do I be prophetic today do I be priestly today do I be sagely today what do I do and God led me to one verse that calmed all of this down and I hope it calms you down too James chapter one verse two my brothers and my sisters count it all joy when you fall into different temptations verse two in the new revised standard version says my brothers and my sisters whenever you face trials of any kind consider it nothing but joy because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance and let endurance have its full effect so that you may be mature and complete lacking nothing then the message bible shouts me it says consider it a sheer gift friends when tests and challenges come at you from all sides you know that under pressure your faith life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.

10:32 Y'all listening, but y'all ain't listening. So don't you try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. This verse, James chapter one, verse two through four gave me what I need and all I wanna lift for you is one question that this text and all that I just named for you has lift for me. Can I give you my sermon title? Finally, it's simply this, just one little question. How do I hold it together? Have you ever wondered that before? With everything you're juggling in your own life, how do I hold it together? I've been in a year in this thing. How do I hold it together? Balancing my family, balancing school, balancing my own personal life, balancing my own anxieties, my own fears, my own downright exhaustion with everything going on in life.

11:28 I'm so glad that in the middle of everything swirling around your head just like mine, God speaks a word to let us know whatever it is that you're facing, you've got to learn how to consider it joy. You've got to learn how to call it joy. You've got to learn how to look whatever you're facing in the face and let it know that whatever this is going on in my life, God has given me some holy divine instructions through this epistle by James, the brother of Jesus, that I've got to learn how to hold it together by counting it all joy. Now, let me be 100 with you. When the Lord first revealed this text to me, this didn't make me shout. No, when God revealed this text to me, this didn't make me bubble over with energy and excitement. No, when I read this text, I think I had more questions than answers. James, I know you're the brother of Jesus. I know you announced yourself as a servant of God in verse 1 in chapter 1.

12:34 I know that you walked with Jesus and you are familiar with his ministry, but you got some nerve to tell us who've been in a pandemic whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy. James, who do you think you're talking to? Do you know everything that we've been carrying? Do you know everything that we're bouncing around? Do you feel everything that the people at fellowship on the virtual ship are going through? How is it that you're going to tell us to count it all joy? Well, let me give you a couple things and then I'm going to rest my case. How do we hold it together? James gives us some insights on how to hold it together. And after this message, I hope, if nothing else, that you have a better grip on your own sanity, that you have a better grip on your own reality and that you have a better grip on whatever has been handling you can i give you the first thing of how to hold it together right here it comes naturally out of the text number one i want you to say it with me realize your holy identity go on say that i've got to realize my holy identity right there in james chapter one james said james a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ.

13:47 Watch this now. He's writing this salutation. He's writing the opening of this epistle to the 12 tribes in the dispersion. The New Revised Standard Version says the dispersion, those who've been dispersed, those in the diaspora. And then at the top of verse two, he says, my brothers and my sisters. Now don't miss this now. He's writing to the Jewish Christians, those who have been exiled those who've been dispersed those who've been scattered and the first question i had is why are they scattered well you've got to go back to acts chapter 8 verse 1 and it explains why he's writing to a scattered people watch it acts chapter 8 verse 1 explains that after the murder of one of the first deacons by the name of stephen watch it a severe persecution began against the church in jerusalem and all except the apostles were scattered throughout the countryside of judea and samaria and so scholars suggest that this letter is addressed to christians who had been scattered due to persecution in the area of jerusalem or it's to congregations that have been established by missionaries sent out from jerusalem don't go to sleep on me yet he says i'm writing to all of you who have been scattered in the dispersion somebody say dispersion yeah dispersion if you look that word up it is the action or the process of distributing things or people over a wide area these are a disconnected people these are an oppressed people these are a scattered people these are dispersed people these are disjointed people these people like us and are like hash browns from waffle house they're scattered smothered but they're still covered he said i'm addressing the 12 tribes who've been scattered but you're still my brothers and my sisters don't you miss this he says i know we all been scattered

15:56 they've been scattered because of the persecution in jerusalem but we've been scattered because of the pandemic in america are you with me yet we're scattered we're disjointed we're disconnected we can't hug like we want to hug we can't do all that we want to do and for a whole year we've been scattered we've been dispersed we've been like them hash browns at waffle house scattered smothered but here's your shout you still been covered because if he called them brothers and sisters it means that a mother or a father still has to be close and the reality is in spite of how you feel even when you're trying to hold it together this is what's going to help you you've got to realize your holy identity see when you know who you are it does not matter what you're walking through when you know who you are you don't lose yourself when the storm becomes a tumultuous when you know who you are let the fire get hot let the water get high let the wind become intense because when you know who you are you can look it all in the face and say i'm still a child of god i'm a seed of apraham i'm a part of these 12 tribes i'm connected to a lineage of faith and i know who my god is i know that i've said a whole lot and some of y'all still looking at me like huh Oh, let me make it real, real plain.

17:19 Do you know that God is still your God? Aren't you glad that you're just not a creation of God, but you're a child of God? And because you're a child of God, you've got some access. You have some inheritances. You have some protection. You have some coverage. You have some surveillance. You have some benefits because God is your heavenly father. And I don't know if that ministers to you, but that ministers to me. because I don't know any good father. I don't know any good mother who just lets their children roam out in the street by themselves. No, good parents always keep their eyes or somebody's eyes on their children. And I know you holding a lot together, but you ain't holding it together by yourself. God is still your God. And I get why you still sitting there talking about I just wish Riel would make a simple point. Well, let me make a simple point to you.

18:14 Do you know who God is? Do you know that God is still sovereign? Do you know that God is still able? Do you know that God is still a keeper? Do you know that God is still light in the darkness? Do you know that God is still able to keep you from falling and present you faultless? Do you know that God is majestic? Do you know that God is still sovereign? Do you know that God still has all power? He's not just God. He's my daddy. God is my heavenly mother. God is my heavenly father and because I know who he is I better understand who I am and I might be scattered I might be dispersed I might be oppressed I might be laughed at but you ain't gonna laugh for long because eventually he's coming to check on his children oh somebody say I know my identity yeah there's a story about a little boy who got home from school and he was so anxious on this hot spring day to get from school and jump in the pond behind his home.

19:18 This was a rural country town where he lived. He jumped off the bus and ran into the pond, snatched his clothes off. But what he did not know is that an alligator was already on this side of the pond. He's swimming around, minding his business, and an alligator approaches this little boy and begins to grab his leg. The boy made it to the edge of the banks of the pond and his mother heard him screaming. His mother runs out and grabs his arm and there begins a tug of war. The alligator grabbing his legs. His mother won't let go of his arms. The alligator pulling on one side. His mama pulling on the other side. I want y'all to know that boy survived the alligator attack. And it was the biggest news in town. even at the hospital news reporters were begging to come in to interview the boy and they let one news reporter in and the news reporter said sir can you please just show us where the alligator bit you on the leg he said yeah i got a bad wound on my leg the reporter started looking and said yeah he really got you he said but if you think that's something you ought to see the wound on my arm. I got great scars on my arm too and I have them because my mama wouldn't let me go. Can I tell you something?

20:38 Some of your scars are not from alligators. Some of your scars didn't come from the devil. Some of your scars didn't come from the things threatening to kill you. Some of us got scars because your heavenly mother, your heavenly father wouldn't let you go. Somebody ought to park right there and give God praise for holding on to you. Don't you make it through a year in this pandemic and sit there with your legs crossed like you made it here by yourself. God held on to you even when you didn't have the strength to hold on to God. And I know who I am. My name is Victory. Yeah, yeah, I know who I am. God's been holding on. How you gonna hold it together? You gonna hold it together because you gotta realize your holy identity. But then number two, how you gonna hold it together. James wants us to know you've got to reanalyze how you view adversity. I'm almost done. Ain't no need of you going to sleep.

21:36 Here it is. You've got to reanalyze how you view adversity. What you mean sharp? It's right there in the text. My brothers and my sisters verse 2. Whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy. Yeah. How? how James? Because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. Stop right there. Right there. Right there. Because the King James Version messes me up even deeper. The King James Version says count it all joy when you fall into divers temptations. That's just a real complicated way of saying when you fall into trouble you got to learn how to reanalyze your view of the adversity. Instead of you calling it trouble, call it joy.

22:33 I know, I know. I didn't expect you to shout or say amen right there because you're thinking what I was thinking the first time I read it. You want me to call it joy? How do you want me to call it joy? Here's why. I'm not going to call it joy. but what I am going to call joy is what's going to come from it. Are y'all with me yet? I might not like it, but I do like and I will like what comes from it. So when I reanalyze my view on adversity, I might not like it, but I will need what comes from it. And so I got to learn how to call it joy. just like a pregnant woman probably is not going to call it joy uh in her seventh or eighth month of having a baby no ain't nothing enjoyable about being pregnant in your seventh or eighth month come on mamas i wish you a holler at me ain't nothing enjoyable about morning sickness there's nothing enjoyable about some strange creaker creature kicking you in your stomach at spontaneous times in the day when you least expect. Isn't it enjoyable about you not being able to find a comfortable place to lay down and sleep at night and although it's not enjoyable, it's still profitable.

24:00 Yeah, I'm talking to a student who's making their way through midterms and you have papers due and you've got to fight through financial aid to make sure that your financial aid finds first aid. You've got to fight through all these papers. You're just like me. I'm not enjoying being in a PhD program this year alone. This year alone, I've written almost 50 pages between the last two classes I've already had in 2021. Ain't nothing enjoyable about it, but I can call it joy because what's going to come from it? Because while the mama might not like the birth pains, she will appreciate the baby. While the student doesn't like midterms and papers, we will appreciate graduation just like a promotion that you prayed for. You may not like all the weight and the added responsibilities that come with it.

24:57 But when Friday comes and that direct check goes into your account, you might not appreciate it, but you appreciate what comes from it. And so I want to tell you today, can you reanalyze how you view your adversity? Can you learn how to count it all joy? And that's what I've had to learn to do over this pandemic. I've had to learn how to count it all joy. And I don't have joy because of what I'm facing, but because of what I'm facing is developing something in me. It's creating something in me. What is it? The text says it's producing endurance. Yeah, count it all joy. When you face these trials, count it all. are y'all listening to me count it all joy when you go through these tests because although you don't like the trials and you don't like the tests what you will appreciate is the endurance that word in the king james version is patience that word in the new revised standard version is endurance what do you mean it literally means in the greek to sit underneath something for a long time is to be able to have the spiritual discipline to sit underneath something for a long time and I was wondering how in the world is patience and endurance the same word in the Greek because whenever you have patience with people you endure with them oh some of y'all that got children you know what I'm talking about when you tell that child baby my patience is running out you're basically telling them now I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to sit underneath what you're doing to me.

26:40 But when you are close to God, I feel like preaching. When you've been walking with God, when you let the test do what it's supposed to do, when you let the trial do what it's supposed to do, the Bible says that what's happening inside of you is you are building your endurance. You're able to sit underneath something heavy for a long time. And can I tell you this? A lot of us are going to make it through this year because God has built up your endurance. A lot of us have not given up over this year because God gave you some spiritual endurance. Can I holler at just two of y'all and I'll be number three who can testify. I'm glad God gave me some endurance. I've been able to deal with some stuff I didn't think I'd be able to handle. But I made it because God let me sit under it for a long time and it didn't kill me. it actually blessed me.

27:36 I'm stronger now. I'm wiser now. I don't let people waste my time now. I needed to sit under this pandemic. Somebody walked up to me recently and said, Pastor, you know, you know, what would we have done if the pandemic never happened? I said, I would have lost my whole mind if this pandemic wouldn't happen. The pandemic made me stop. The pandemic made me reevaluate. The pandemic made me pivot. The pandemic helped me give me time to go to therapy online. The pandemic helped me get my house together. The pandemic let me save some money. I guess I'm the only one that can testify what I'm talking about. The pandemic helped me not lose all my marbles. The pandemic gave me a minute to breathe. The pandemic revealed who my real friends are. but the pandemic revealed what was really worth giving energy to and what wasn't worth giving energy to the pandemic revealed who the real Christians are the pandemic revealed who your real church is I met a lady a few months ago walked up to me and said pastor y'all ain't been keeping in touch with us y'all ain't been keeping in touch with us have you considered sending out a newsletter or something I said, ma'am, what do you mean we don't keep in touch with you?

28:57 What do you mean we don't keep in touch with you? Do you ever tune in to the virtual ship on Sunday morning at 10 a.m. Central Standard Time or refuel at 7 p.m. Central Standard Time? Do you know we've had Fellowship Bible Academy? Do you know that every ministry has met on Zoom throughout this entire pandemic? youth ministry, single ministry, marriage ministry, men ministry, women's ministry, senior care ministry. Have you been connected to, oh, she said, I ain't been watching none of that. I was just wondering why y'all ain't been connected to us. I said, ma'am, go on. God bless you. Have a good day. If some folk, when we get back in the building, I hope you stay home because I need to ride or die. People who love Jesus for real. I've learned some stuff in the pandemic. reanalyze how you view it and instead of calling it a problem call it joy yeah because it built my endurance y'all better not cross me the wrong way after all of this year if some folk they may want to question before they come about you the wrong way after you survive a pandemic it ain't nothing you can't handle you better tell the devil think twice before you come over to my address. Prepare yourself before you come this way.

30:17 I'm too prayed up for you to mess with me. I've spent too much time on my knees for you to cross me. I've worshipped too much. I've cried too much. I've been through too much. I've pushed through too much. This is all work together. Somebody take three seconds and thank your God that you're better now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I said go on and thank your God that you're better now. You got more wisdom now. You're more focused now because the trying of your faith, it worked endurance. Do you know, do you know how oysters are made? Do you know, do you know that pearls are made inside of oysters? But have you ever really studied how pearls are made in oysters.

31:11 There are little slits inside the oyster that let sand in. And when this sand enters the oyster, it's like a foreign irritant. And the oyster becomes irritated by this sand that's crept inside the oyster. And so it releases a healing fluid to rush to the area inside the oyster that's irritated and by the time the fluid gets finished healing the oyster from the irritation a pearl is developed but if there was no irritation you wouldn't have a pearl if there was no pressure you wouldn't have a pearl if there was no pain you wouldn't have a pearl if there wasn't no stress you wouldn't have a pearl some of y'all ought to thank God for what robbed you the wrong way because God released the blood of Jesus, a healing fluid that rushed in and you better not.

32:14 I'm done. I'm talking to some pearls on the virtual ship. Yeah, I'm preaching to a ship full of pearls. I'm preaching to a Facebook page full of pearls. Somebody ought to say, my name is Pearl. After all the irritations I've been through, after all the pressure I've been through, after all the pain I've been through, it's work together. I'm done, I'm done. I've held you too long. you've got to realize your holy identity you've got to reanalyze how you view adversity but can I give you one more you've got to recognize your tests create Christian maturity they about to get quiet on the preacher they about to get quiet on the preacher verse 2 brothers and sisters whenever you face trials of any kind New Revised Standard Version says consider it nothing but joy because you know that the testing of your faith produces what? Endurance.

33:17 And let endurance have its full effect so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing. Lean up a little bit. I need to tell you something. Some of y'all have been praying the wrong prayer. Come on, lean up a little bit. Lean up. I know I got a lot of prayer warriors on here. I got a lot of spiritual saints on here. I got a lot of people that know how to beseech God. And you know that the prayers of the righteous are there if much. I know you deep in the spirit. Lean up a little bit. You've been praying for delivery when you should have been praying for development. because God has you underneath something that's heavy because the trial built endurance but the endurance is about to build your character.

34:20 Character is who you are when nobody's watching. Character is who you are when you've got the power to get away with it and you choose to do what's right and God through all of this was not interested in giving you more money. God in all of this wasn't interested in putting you on a bigger platform. God in all of this wasn't just interested in elevating your life or your family giving you a promotion and giving you increase and all of this stuff all this materialistic gain God said what I've really been trying to do is make you grow up I've been after your character I've been after you I'm trying to make you mature enough to be able to walk through stuff and not fold under the pressure I never will forget last year when the first death in the middle of the pandemic was Reverend Clay Evans' wife.

35:32 Mrs. Luther May Holland Shed Evans was the first death in the pandemic. Her death was unrelated to COVID, but it was the first death. We couldn't all gather. We had to have a funeral with only 50 people in the building, and you all had to watch online. And then, and then, and then, and then, and then, a month or a few days later, her daughter, Reverend Evans' youngest daughter, Faith, I called her Auntie Faith, went home to be with the Lord, COVID-related. And I remember talking to Auntie Claudette, the only surviving daughter of Reverend Evans. And I said, Auntie, how can I pray for you? She said, Reverend Nephew, pray for my mind. she said pray for my mind she said I'm trying my best not to lose my mind y'all I don't know if that she's not the only one she's not the only one who either prayed that or should have been praying that because some stuff will strip you of your sanity.

36:45 All through this ups and downs, being on the ventilator, watching your family members go through it, not being able to live normal lives, some of our minds have been in trouble. And I prayed with Auntie Claudette, Lord, keep her mind. Lord, keep her mind. Lord, keep my mind too. Lord, keep her mind. Keep our minds. Help our minds. And I talked to her at the end of 2020, and she said, nephew I got one thing to tell God thank you for keeping my mind see some of y'all shout over silly stuff some of y'all shout because you got a new iPhone congratulations some of you shout because you got a new laptop congratulations but there are about 175 of us who a year later in a pandemic we're thinking God that the trying of our faith produced endurance and God has kept my mind I'm going to give you 10 seconds in your own way to lift your hand right where you are and give God glory for keeping your mind I'm going to let you give him glory for holding your mind together yeah I know you got money but you ought to thank him that you still got your mind I know you live in a mansion but you ought to thank him for your mind I know you have degrees I know you have a salary I know you've got a pedigree I know you've got a pension I know you've got a retirement package, but what you ought to give God glory over is he's kept your mind.

38:13 Because after all of this, how do I hold it together? I've got to realize my own holy identity. I've got to reanalyze how I view adversity, and then I've got to recognize that my tests create Christian maturity. Can I ask you a question? and I want you to write it underneath this video, underneath this worship service. I want you to answer this one question. Has God made you better through this pandemic? Are you a better Christian after this pandemic? Are you a better mama because of this pandemic? Are you a better believer because of this pandemic? Are you a better preacher? Are you a better student? Are you a better wife? Are you a better husband? Are you a better son? Are you a better daughter? if you can come out of your trial and say I'm better now then it wasn't a wasted test it was a test that was needed to make you stronger and wherever you are listening to me right now can you put your hands together and praise God listen don't fool me don't fool me I said praise God that you have Christian maturity you're stronger now you're wiser now you have some endurance. Everything doesn't blow on you and just knock you over. No, you're able to look at it and say, I see joy, I see joy, I see joy, I see joy.

39:40 I may not like it, but I need what's coming from it. I may not like it, but I need what's coming from it. I may not like it, but I need what's coming from it. I may not like it, but I need what's coming from it. I may not like it, but I need, I need, I need what's coming from it. I can look back over my life, moments of rejection, moments of anxiety, moments of depression, moments where folks could have helped me and chose not to help me, moments where I was lost, moments where I looked like I had it together, but I really was falling apart, moments when I wished I could have just slept in the bed for at least two weeks to get my energy back. I know I'm the only one. I'm just talking to myself now. Moments when I wish everybody would just stop calling me for at least three days so I could just breathe and the pressure. I look back over it all and now I can say he was building endurance.

40:39 19 year old sharp is a little different from 30 year old sharp. Yeah some folk think they're gonna try me in my 30s I said you should have gotten me in my 20s I probably yeah I went through too much in my 20s and and then lord bless you by the time I get to 40 and you better not even cross me by the time I get to 50 some of y'all in your 50s and 60s like nah bruh they might as well go another direction because the longer you live the more endurance you have the less patience you have for stuff that doesn't matter and I'm so glad I'm just glad and some somebody just say I've got joy Somebody ought to just say that. I've got joy. Come on. Open your chocolate mouth and say, I've got joy. Come on. Let the devil know. You tried to take a lot, but one thing you could not take, you could not take my joy. Come on, praise team. I still got my joy. I don't have much voice left, but I do have some praise left.

41:34 I thank you for my joy.