"I Will Not Let My Church Be About My Preferences & Desires" Rev. Reginald W. Sharpe Jr 062922

1:36 Come on, let's sew a seat of $25 tonight. We're in the middle of the summer. Most churches sometimes go through a little lull in the summer because folks are traveling and they're moving. but we still seek ye first the kingdom of God and God's righteousness and we know all other things will be added so join me tonight and sow in a sacrificial seed of $25 I thank you for your gift I thank you for your faithfulness and thank you for just tuning in because tonight's going to be a blessing to your heart I'm grateful for all of our leaders the people behind the camera show some love to them in the chat come on put those clapping hand emojis to our band and our musicians put show some love put some hearts put some anchors we haven't done that in a long time come on put some anchors in the chat to let us know you appreciate all of the servants that help this ship keep on sailing to god be the glory let's jump into this lesson so that we can learn so that we can grow we're in chapter three for those of you who have your book first chapter we talked about i am a functioning member which means we all are part of the body of christ second chapter last week powerful lesson i mean i felt like preaching after going through that lesson i am a unifying member i stop gossip and negative talk when it hits me it ends because i am mature i am wise i am a productive pew partner to the church i because i sit in the pew i'm productive and i'm working even though i may not be a leader i may not be a reverend i may not be a deacon i may not be an elder but I'm a unifying member and my presence makes this church better and then today the lesson is I will not let my preferences and my desires make me an unhappy member I will not let my church be about my preferences and my desires I will not let my church be about my preferences and my desires go ahead and write in the chat it's not about me it's not about me it's not about me go and write in the chat say it out loud it's not about me it's not about me uh tom rainer opens

3:42 up this chapter with a very relatable story siblings arguing over what they want and i never will forget you know it was three of us they called us the three of me goes me i was in the middle my older cousin brian one year older than me my little brother two years younger than me we did everything together brian reggie and brandon uh brb brian reggie and brandon brian reggie Brandon my grandmother would pick us up after school sometimes she would go to three different schools to pick us up and once she had all of us in the van it was a routine where are we going to eat so we would argue for the next five ten minutes what we want I want pizza hut I want Wendy's I want I want Burger King I want uh McDonald's I want I want I want and uh and so we would literally be in the car every single day arguing over what we wanted so my grandmother picked a rhythm and so each day she she kind of did a flow well you pick where we're going this day reggie you pick where we're going this day brian you pick where we're going this day brandon so she gave us our days and uh and so when it was your day you pick where we're going and we all had to learn to go with the flow because it wasn't all about us but my cousin brian i ain't trying to call him out but brian had a different kind of swag about him when it wasn't his day if we went somewhere that he did not approve because his favorite place to go is taco bell and i don't believe jesus ever blessed any taco bell anywhere in the world i don't believe that the lord has ever visited a taco bell ain't nothing at taco bell for me but that was his favorite place to go and his second favorite place to go is burger king if we did not pick his places brian would hold a fast on that afternoon and would refuse to eat anything and while it's a hilarious story looking back at it it's some church people like that you know i was coming at you that fast i know i know you thought i was gonna ease up on you oh yeah well you don't get your way you shut down you leave and there's people that's just been hopping from church to church because one thing happened i don't like that he said that i don't like that they did that and you just a church hopper now because you're going everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere

5:48 and then you sadly have to learn that there is no such thing as a perfect church there are no perfect pastors there are no perfect choir music ministries there are no perfect deacons there are no perfect ministry so you just hop hop hop and you're disappointed everywhere you go because you didn't get your taco bell you didn't get your you know you didn't get your burger king you didn't like what they did he didn't like how they did it and so you just leave or you just shut down and i'm not giving anymore i'm not going to participate anymore i'm not going to show up anymore i'm not going to be a member anymore and the truth is this church was not built or formed to please you so when you think that the church exists to keep you happy you have a uh you have an erroneous idea of why this church exists i am the pastor and i don't get my way all the time i have to sit and and compromise and have to say all right cool y'all want to try a different way i have to work with my leaders work with my staff and there's some things i really like others just don't think is the best way and so i don't get my way all the time i have to compromise and say well let's try it this way you like it that way better all right cool let's try it that way so if the pastor doesn't get his way because it ain't my church there's this little text there's this little text where jesus is talking to peter after jesus asked who do men say that i am and then peter says you know some of the disciples say well some people say you're a prophet da da da da da da he said no no no who do you say i am and the only person that spoke up was peter and peter said thou art the christ the son of the living god he says flesh and blood didn't reveal that to you peter usually you off but today you own and and because you're on and because you have the true revelation of who i am upon you you're a rock peter i'm gonna change your name from simon to peter petros in greek which means rock and because you are rock i shall build my church on you my i will build my church on you and the gates of hell shall not prevail we missed that personal pronoun my jesus said i will build my church so the only person ought to be saying my anything in the church is jesus

7:56 i even had to correct myself when i became pastor i would say stuff like you know my members and my deacons or my staff and i have to check myself because this ain't my church i don't care if i stay here 50 years 60 years or six years this is not my church those are not my deacons that's not my staff this is the lord's church and so the only person that has ought to have a preference that is prioritized is jesus so it doesn't matter that well i think it's too dark in the church nobody cares i think it's too loud i think it's too soft i don't like the music i don't like this it really doesn't matter because if this church was founded to please you then it would be a perfect everything will be for you but this is a multi-generational church so we have young people that we're trying to reach their generations i don't even know what they're called coming up i i listen we we talk about millennials millennials are in their 40s and 30s they are not young people anymore i mean the youngest in the room anymore you got generation z behind millennials you got generation a behind generation z and so you you know i don't like this i don't i don't agree i don't agree i don't agree if i sat around and tried to keep everybody happy i would have a stroke every other week i'd be i'd be in the hospital stroking out brain cells just gone because i cannot keep everybody happy as a pastor our job is not to keep you happy our job is to help you live in your purpose oh my job is not to meet your preferences my job is to preach the word and help you find your purpose and somehow even if all of it doesn't agree with you you ought to still be able to find your lane hear a hymn that touches you hear a gospel that touches you here's some contemporary music that touches you maybe the dance will touch you maybe the sermon reference to the older generation may grab you while the younger references grab you we got a lot of people so here's all tom rainer saying your job as a church member is to first understand everything is not

10:06 gonna make you happy let me give you some bible because y'all just looking at me like i'm just making this up here's what jesus says here's what he says in mark 9 verse 35 he says jesus deals with this in the group of the disciples when his closest followers had an argument on who the greatest in the kingdom was jesus says the greatest among you is going to be the servants if anyone wants to be first he must be last of all and servant of all so it's not that you're here to be satisfied you're here to serve that's why you're here and so whenever we get our priorities off balance we'll be walking around feeling some kind of way upset because you thought when you join this church that we were supposed to keep you satisfied. That's not what this is. You are here to serve and when your focus is service and not demanding that you be satisfied, you shift your consciousness, you shift your mindset because servants are not in it to be satisfied.

11:11 Servants are in it to serve and to help others have an experience where they can see Jesus Somebody say out loud, I'm a servant I'm a servant and so I may not always get my way I'm a servant, I'm here to make things better I'm here to take the load off some of the leaders I'm here to make sure that the pastor's alright I'm here to make sure that people are taken care of When somebody is sick, I'll go visit When we hear there's a funeral in the church or somewhere else I show up because I'm a servant I'm here to serve, I'm not here to get my way all the time I'm not here to only smile when Taco Bell is being served but I have to be here and serve when Wendy's is on the menu and Burger King is on the menu and McDonald's is on the menu and Checkers is on the menu and Harold's Chicken is on the menu huh y'all didn't know I knew about that yet yeah I'm there I'm right there with you so whenever I don't get my way it doesn't really matter because my purpose is to be a servant and not to be a satisfied customer you're not here to be a customer you're here to be a servant always asking what can I get it's not about what can i get from fellowship what can i give to fellowship and when that becomes your mindset it will no longer matter if everything goes your way because it's not about your way or even the pastor's way it's about god's way what is god's will for us let me tell you something that's interesting the word servant appears 57 times in the new testament and it speaks to the role we play as christian the word servant appears 57 times in the new testament which means we ought to prioritize being a servant you ought to prioritize being a person that takes care of others and not just in it to make sure you're taking care of yourself and then tom rainer goes on and adds he says we must adopt the mindset of christ like in philippians chapter 2 verse 5 through 11 that says let this mind be in you that was also in christ jesus we quote this we know this i've preached this and we still miss this let the mind of christ be in you well what did christ do

13:23 in philippians chapter 2 verse 5 through 7 is what they call the christ hymn it's the christ hymn what did he do a couple things he did he did not consider equality with god as something to be used as his own advantage i'm about to walk back through this he emptied himself kenosis emptying himself by assuming the form of a slave he humbled himself he became obedient to the point of death he told the lord whatever you want me to do i'm going to do that so let's walk back through this although christ was equal with god had power prestige platform privilege he didn't let it go to his head he did not use it for his own advantage but instead he used his platform his privilege his his his uh his prestige to help somebody else that's why god can't elevate some of you because god knows if he gives you power and puts you over somebody else you will lose your whole mind you don't even have a position and you arrogant you don't even have a title and nobody can barely talk to you you don't even have a position yet and you're not trustworthy how is god gonna elevate a messy person how is god gonna elevate you and you don't even understand what it means to be a functioning member or a unifying member so because you get a platform doesn't mean you got power over people because you get a platform means you have power to help people talk sharp talk sharp talk sharp i'm easing up on you and i'm about to come get you he emptied himself assuming the role of a slave that word slave in the greek can also mean servant he emptied himself I love seeing people around this church emptying themselves serving other people I love to see those who are interested in freely give and helping and helping the community service we had a funeral of the week of uh one of our member sons passed and I looked back at the ministers and I only saw about five or six ministers and I turned around at them at the cemetery I said this is when it matters this is when your presence really matters not on the big days where everybody's fighting for

15:33 a front seat oh did i go there did i go there not on the big moments but it's in the small moments when a family is grieving are you present for that that's why i'm not moved by front seat members i'm not moved by people who rush to the front to get a seat i moved and encouraged when i see people willing to empty themselves in the form of a servant because it's not just you being a servant you're looking like jesus and he humbled himself god humbled himself you're talking about jesus jesus jesus jesus jesus divinity caught in dna jesus you're talking about the majesty of glory in manhood jesus you're talking about the king that's caught in skin sovereignty wrapped in human flesh i'm talking about jesus of the logos that came down to the chaos to help save the cosmos i'm talking about jesus i'm talking about the word that was made flesh and dwelt among us i'm talking about the one who came from the heights of eternity down to the to the sand of reality i'm talking about jesus i'm talking about water uh turning in the wine jesus i'm talking about jesus that could take a snack and and make a thanksgiving meal for five thousand i'm talking about that jesus that got all that power he humbled himself and if jesus could humble himself he who made the world who stepped in the world he who was before time but stepped into time and can still show up on time i'm talking about jesus if jesus could humble himself who do you think you are i don't care what you got wrapped around your neck what clergy collar you got wrapped around your neck looking stiff and and like you you know yeah let me leave it alone i don't care what you got on you what title you got on you it does not matter to the lord unless you understand humility why because the bible says that god resists the proud and he gives grace to the humble the bible says

17:40 that that the lord will literally honor those who puts god's god first the bible is always reminding us that it's not about us but it's about making god look good so you humble yourself and then he became obedient he became obedient to the point of death i i don't care how saved you are if you don't know how to be a follower you will never be a good leader if you can't follow instruction elder vassal you know i i i tell you tell stories all the time i this is in my first church so my first church i learned something about people i learned something every executive leader in god's church needs to understand this when you give somebody a simple assignment and they can't do a simple assignment they cannot be trusted with a larger assignment I never forget I asked this lady one day in my former church God bless her heart God bless her heart and all her parts that's what we say in the country God bless her heart and all her parts I said I want you to go up on the stage exhort the people for 60 seconds and get the room ready and as soon as you finish it was a big service we were having I said 60 seconds just exhort the people welcome them into the house help them focus on the presence of God 60 seconds and when you finish the praise team is going to run out they got the lights ready it's going to be a moment it's going to be a climactic moment to start this service because this is a special day and I'm trusting you 60 seconds that lady stayed up 5 minutes hollering about the Lord 5 minutes and I was younger then and oh I was young and thank God I was young because I would have run out to that stage at this stage of my life yeah as soon as she reached minute two she would have felt something in her back just hitting her like this just hitting didn't i tell you 60 seconds see see i'm different now i'm different now because i've already been through this i know a fool when i see one huh you you know an idiot when you see one you know somebody who's off the page as soon as you see it and the lord talked to

19:45 me then and i let it slide and that lady ended up becoming such a hellion bless her heart such a But I should have known because she couldn't be obedient to a simple request. Watch people who can't follow instructions. would you stand at door A and all I need you to do is just stand there and make sure that people got a program and you standing there talking to everybody taking selfies at door A watch it watch if you want to know what people are made of give them a simple task can you carry this book and lay it on my desk when church is over and a week later I ain't seen the book simple I'm just telling you what Jesus said he didn't consider himself equal with God he emptied himself he humbled himself he became obedient it doesn't matter how anointed you are you can Lord have mercy if you're too big to do something small you're too small to do something big you got to humble yourself and understand it's not all about you it is about the God who has called us together to be in holy community and that's when you know the church is about to grow the church is about to explode when you have leaders and people who are not caught up in their preferences but are caught up in purpose that's when you know that's a sure sign that something explosive is about to happen in a church when you've got people that they're not caught up in emailing the pastor emailing the leader because they didn't like something they don't want something they didn't do so they didn't happen the way they thought it should have happened and instead they say no you know i don't really i don't really like that that kind of music but you know it ain't all about me that's for somebody sometime you leave church you say that message just i mean that's not the message i need it but i hope it bless somebody the pastor not preaching and the guest preacher comes and you say well i i ain't they ain't really do it for me i didn't get what i needed well you are part

21:52 of the body of christ you might be a foot and you didn't need it but the arm needed it you may be a eye you didn't need it but the ear needed it so instead of you leave it to my I didn't they didn't really speak to me you ought to say lord I pray it was for somebody I pray I hope I got something out of it and so when you when you understand it's not about you you won't be a taco bell uh you won't be a taco bell person who only eats when people go to your restaurant but you can get you some from Wendy's get you some from McDonald's get you some from Burger King get some from the hymn get something from the contemporary music get something from whatever you are part of I'm going to stop here because if I keep going I'll be talking all night long so this chapter helps us understand it's not all about our preferences so the key point of it is you're not here to be satisfied you're here to serve you're not here to get your way but you are here to help point people to the way huh you're not here so that you can be fed but at some point in your spiritual journey you're supposed to help feed others and become the bread of life jesus ain't the only one that's supposed to be bread you're supposed to be bread jesus is not the only one supposed to be light of the world he said you're the light of the world jesus not the only one adding flavor to us he said you're the salt of the earth so at what point do you accept the fact that your call is to be a blessing and not just get a blessing.

23:24 Does that make sense? Lord God, I thank you for this lesson. You're stretching us. You're stretching me. You're stretching us. But thank you for teaching us that we're not here to be satisfied. We're here to serve. So I thank you that your word tells us over and over again, 57 times in the New Testament that we're called to be servants, servants, servants. So God, don't just send more new members. Send people with a servant heart. Put people in our ministries. Put leaders over our ministries that have a servant heart. So even when we pull up at restaurants they don't like, they'll still find something on the menu that can feed their souls. Teachers, it's not about us, but it's all about Jesus Christ. We thank you and we give you praise and we ask you to help us be more mature as we grow as better members of this church. We give you praise, honor, and glory.

24:24 In Jesus' name we pray. Let everybody say amen. Amen and amen. It's coming up. This is our third pledge. At the end of every chapter we have a pledge. And so let's read it together. The pledge is coming up on the screen. One, two, three. Let's read. I am a church member. I will not let my church be about my preferences and desires. that is self-serving. I am a member in this church to serve others and to serve Christ. My Savior went to the cross for me. I can deal with any inconveniences and matters that just aren't my preference or style. Let everybody say amen. I pray that you continue to grow in that. Wasn't that good? Somebody give God praise for a good lesson that's helping us to grow in Christian maturity. If you need Christ, come on. If you want to be a part of a church, it may not be all your style but I promise you the sun is shining in this church and we are servants around here and I celebrate the service and fellowship because indeed we have more people that have a heart of service than sit around and talk about what's not satisfying them so I celebrate people behind the scenes those who give those who make sure others are helped by your presence. I celebrate our deacons. I celebrate our ministries. I celebrate our staff. I celebrate those of you serving right now. You don't know that's what it's all about. And even though it looks like I'm up here shining with the mic, all I'm doing is serving. I'm just as tired as you are sitting at home. I'm just as tired as you, but this isn't about me. I'm here to serve and help somebody grow closer to Christ.

26:04 So if you want to give tonight, I believe at the top of this I asked you to sow a sacrificial seed of $25. So if you want to join me in doing that, if you're able to do that, do that. If you're not, give what you can. It's not about equal giving, it's about equal sacrifice. So sacrifice, do what you can, sow what you can, and I pray that God will breathe and bless you. Everybody who is able, a $25 seed tonight, let's sow into this church so that we can keep being a blessing a light salt in the world and I thank you