Job’s Advice to Husbands and Friends │ Msg 4/22

0:01 We are examining the story of Job in our time together on these mornings. And if you're not familiar with your Bible, if you go right to the center of it, you'll find the book of Psalms. Just to the left, just before you get to the book of Psalms, you'll find Job. Probably the oldest book in the scriptures, to the surprise of some people.

0:31 Perhaps it was, certainly it was as old as the days of Abraham, and that dates it among the days of the patriarchs, Job. We're in the second chapter. I'll read for us verse 7 down to the end of the chapter, verse 13. Job 2, 7. Then Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and smote Job with sore boils, from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head.

1:05 And he took a potsher to scrape himself while he was sitting among the ashes. And his wife said to him, Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die. But he said to her, You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity? In all this, Job did not sin with his lips. Now when Job's three friends heard of all this adversity that had come upon him, they came each one from his own place. Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, Zophar the Namathite. and they made an appointment together to come to sympathize with him and comfort him.

2:09 When they lifted up their eyes at a distance, they did not recognize him. They raised their voices and wept. And each of them tore his robe, and they threw dust over their heads toward the sky.

2:32 Then they sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights, with no one speaking a word to him. for they saw that his pain was very great. bow with me please our father we place ourselves before the the true the inspired the preserved the recorded word of God it is a comfort to know that none of the words need to be adjusted to fit in some way are times for they are for our times.

3:32 Whatever has been written in earlier times was written for our learning that we through patience and comfort from the very scriptures might have hope. there's no way I could know the condition of each person here today. Some are, though dressed for church and sitting among us, are in enormous anguish of soul. For whatever reason, others are in deep pain, some physical, some emotional,

4:19 some over conflicts at home, others at work, some without jobs, others without a friend. But we sit together, and that is good. For we have in common the fallen nature that grips all of us. We have all known just this week failure and fault. We have said things that should not have been said. We have thought thoughts that were alien and we have perhaps even done that which was wrong. We come before you, our faithful and forgiving Father. and we lay ourselves before you and we claim with deepest gratitude your forgiveness. we also would be vulnerable in your presence as we admit that we come for the benefit that we shall gain, not that someone we brought, not that our partner in life, not that our child or parent might hear what's being instructed, but that we ourselves may take it in and live it out.

5:45 deliver us from the habits we have built over the years of traditional church attendance may this become a fresh encounter a fresh expression as our words of music and song and praise have been may we hear what you are saying our father and may they impact us deeply so as to bring about change. I especially pray for those who find themselves in a crucible today, going through a severe test where there does not seem to be a solution. And now that you have them exactly where you would wish them to be, may they be especially careful to hear from you. and may I be especially accurate and careful with what I say.

6:45 Thank you today, our Father, for the protection over us as a country, for our president and his wife and family, for those who serve alongside his administration, those in places within it. We pray for those in great need in the Middle East today. some are friends most we've never met we pray for you to watch over that special part of this planet we pray for those who protect us from enemy attack guard our nation our father teach us in the process of this unusual period of time what it means to trust and not be afraid now Lord of all things it is our privilege not only to give you our praise and to give you our attention but now to give you our treasure we tend we tend to grip it tighter than anything we own living under the false impression that we own it when in fact you own it all and so it is our privilege to return to you what is rightfully yours all along.

8:11 Thank you for our work, for the opportunity to earn a living. Out of it, we give generously and we do so gratefully. And we want you to know, our Father, that if we were given a choice over all the choices of all the people and all the possessions, we would rather have Jesus than anything this world affords today. We pray in his name. And everyone said. When you study the book of Job, you enter into a crucible, if you will. Crucible.

9:00 I thought about that word for quite some time this past week and did a little study on it and found that at the core of it is a Latin term, C-R-U-X. We have several English words that grow out of the Latin original. The Latin term means cross, which was commonly used in the Latin language for a place of torture, one's cross. We still use that, the cross one must bear, we say. Excruciating is another term that comes from it. But crucible is on our minds as we think about this pit of agony. Webster defines crucible a severe test, a place or situation in which concentrated forces interact to cause change or development. Let me do that again.

10:03 a severe test, a place or situation in which concentrated forces interact to cause change or development. Job's crucible was brought about by two attacks from Satan permitted by God.

10:29 Round one, he was attacked in the area of possessions, his means of earning a living or of sustaining a lifestyle. As you recall, he lost all of his livestock, most of his servants, all of the cattle, all of the donkeys, all of the means of income, and the crowning blow, he lost all ten of his adult children and probably himself buried them, having no longer the availability of servants. Horrible thought. Literally burying all ten of his adult children. round two was the second attack and as if the first had not been enough Satan was determined to see Job or hear Job curse God and so he attacked him in his the one area that he had left and that was his health not only did he take it away by covering him from scalp to sole of his feet with sore boils that oozed and cracked and turned his skin black and left him with a maddening itch, fever, and a swollen condition so that he hardly resembled that of a man any longer.

11:57 The misery of that was in the place of his health. the 19th century Scottish divine Alexander White put it best, I think, till Christ came, no soul was ever made such a battleground between heaven and earth as Job's soul was made. A battleground. And remember, we know what Job did not know. We know why it happened and we know how it happened. He knew neither. All he knew is one day he is the specimen of health and strength and prosperity and integrity and blessing. And a full quiver of children and happiness that goes along with all of that.

12:55 And the next day he's lost it all. And finally he's lost his health. and he nevertheless endures. In fact, though Job is one of the, if not the oldest of the biblical books, he came to be known not as the model of suffering, but as the model of endurance. It's an important detail. James says in James 5.11, written in the middle of the first century, You have heard of the endurance of Job.

13:34 So Job endured the crucible. He didn't attempt to escape from it. The only thing he had left when all was said and done was a wife and a handful of friends. and we know and will know again their response to him through all of this. It was neither comforting nor was it pleasant. But he endured.

14:10 A professor of history once said, if Columbus had turned back, no one would have blamed him, but no one would have remembered him either. had job escaped in some way no one would have blamed him but we would not remember him we remember him because he endured not only did he endure the afflictions i've described but he endured the words of a grieving and bitter wife, and he also endured the accusations of friends who took upon themselves the role of judge and jury. If you have gone through your own crucible, you know what it is like in the midst of the pain of what you're going through, on top of that to have people turn against you.

15:11 Such pain that brings. But you know what? As a result of enduring such pain, we become valuable as comforters and counselors for others. I was walking the hallways of our church staff offices recently and I stopped by my son Chuck's office and I noticed on his desk was a concept that he had pulled from John Eldridge's book, Wild at Heart.

15:48 The statement read, I can trust a man only after he has become well acquainted with pain. It's a good statement. As I recall, counsel I have received that has been valuable for me has never come from a novice. It's come from one who bears the scars and the marks of some pain in his or her life. I can trust one only after he has become well acquainted with pain. Now then, it's because of that concept I felt it would be wise before jumping right away into the dialogue between Job and his friends. I felt it would be helpful to get some advice from Job. We will study, and we have in our past, many of us, studied the advice others gave to Job, but we've not really looked at what Job's counsel might have been to them.

16:48 A man who is going through such things and is enduring such things certainly has some things to say that would be helpful. None of it directly understand, but I draw these indirectly by inference from really verses 9 through 13 of chapter 1. Last time I spoke on some words of advice for, part of my message was words of advice for the wives, remember?

17:18 I've never seen such blank faces in all of my preaching as asking that. And since you don't remember, let me repeat some words of advice for you who are wives. I have a couple of thoughts that I'm going to repeat here from the former message I brought in this passage. First, always guard your words when your husband is going through a hard time. this is not only for wives with husbands this is for you ladies who have men that you're close to and you work alongside maybe it's it's a colleague it might be someone who works under you or above you the point being you're close to them always guard your words when that man is going through a hard time. Men can become vulnerable and in fact gullible during difficult times and it would be regrettable if you simply dumped out words that would not be wise, would not be helpful in that vulnerable time he's going through. Job's wife did that and thankfully Job did not heed her counsel. The second, never suggest to us that we should compromise our integrity.

18:50 Don't ever go there, even if it would mean instant or temporary gratification or relief. Integrity is a tough enough virtue to sustain without the temptation to compromise it. gauge your words, ladies, and I'm addressing this to the ladies because, believe it, your words do mean more than we act like they do. And wives' words are wiser words than we usually give you credit for, and that's most unfortunate that we don't tell you enough. So when you do speak, never weaken our integrity. remember there's nothing more important in our character aside from a relationship with Christ than moral and ethical integrity don't even come close to suggesting that that be compromised so I return again to verse 9 and I want to hear some things Job I believe would advise wives and again, I've spent enough years in my past taking shots at Job's wife that I don't want to do that anymore. Remember, she too buried 10 children. She too has gone through the grief of the loss of a lifestyle and the privileged position of a prestigious husband, the best known in all the east according to chapter one she too has watched him she has watched him shave his head and tear his robe and sit in the in the city dump alongside wild dogs fighting for food and among the dung that's burned there she has known humiliation as well so we give her some slack here for for

20:58 responding as she does. I'm not saying it's right. I'm saying it's understandable. In fact, her words come from the anguish of seeing her husband like living death, enduring this skin ulcerated condition and not being able to help him, and she just wishes he could be taken off the earth. Death is better than this. sometimes the suffering feel that often those with terminal illnesses say that so her words are in verse 9 do you still hold fast your integrity curse God and die and we said last time Satan was was holding his breath hoping that Job would take her advice that's exactly what he told God that this man would do if you remove the hedge about him and treated him with anything but penthouse treatment. You would see him because he follows you, God, out of what he gets out of it rather than a true integrity of heart. And Job does not follow her lead here. So let me suggest four. I gave the wives two things to remember. Please note I'm giving the husbands four things.

22:21 Now, men, I advise you to write them down because your wife will write them down. And so I advise you to take note. And wives, I advise you not to remind your husbands of them, okay? We're hearing today, and we will give heed to these things. The first piece of advice, listen well and always tell her the truth. Listen well and always tell her the truth. I'm impressed that Job heard his wife. I'm impressed that he pondered, he considered her words. He turned them over in his mind. He neither misunderstood nor ignored them.

23:16 He heard what she said. I found that most of us husbands are not hard of hearing We're hard of listening Our wives frequently have the most Important things to say to us that we will hear that day, but Out of the years of experience we've had of living with them We tend to turn that off We say things in our mind like, you know, it's like rolling your eyes You go, oh boy, I've sat through this before and I know where she's going here. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Probably Job and his wife have had a few spats. I mean, it's a marriage, isn't it?

24:04 We don't have perfect marriages. We have reasonably good marriages. It's the best we can hope for. and wives at certain times in our lives will have just the kernel of truth that we need to hear but we will miss it if we are not careful if we operate from habit and in an impatient moment we will not pay attention we'll look like we are but but we're not let me add tell her the truth which means if it is wise and squares with what you know to be truth, if it is helpful, say that. If it is not, say that. Job said that. His response, having heard her, was, you speak as one of the foolish women speaks.

25:03 Francis Anderson writes she sees death as the only good remaining for Job he should pray to God to be allowed to die or even curse God an indirect way of committing suicide Anderson adds whatever lay behind her words Job rejects them but he does not call her wicked merely foolish that is lacking in discernment she thinks god has treated job badly and deserves a curse job finds nothing wrong with what has happened to him instead of helping the words of his wife and his friends cause him more pain and put him under more pressure than all the other things that have happened to him so far. Job detected in her a snag of bitterness and he said to her, this is information I will not act on. This isn't wise. This is a foolish bit of advice and I can't accept it. That's truth.

26:15 you say, well, good night, Chuck. This is awfully basic. Get on to things that are deep. Well, I'm going to risk a statement here, though I don't have anyone in mind. I am sure that in most marriages, there are a few lives still awash that haven't been confessed to or corrected. I find one of the most difficult things to get couples to do is say the truth. Admit when we've done wrong rather than skirt it or rationalize around it or excuse it because of just say it.

26:56 Or if the other side is necessary, when we hear our mate say something that we know is not good, we tend not to say the hard thing and we need to. You know, honey, I realize you've got my good at heart, but I honestly have to say I can't go there. I don't agree with that. I think that's unwise for you to suggest that. Or whatever. Time doesn't allow me to go to all the rabbit trails with this, but you get the picture. Listen well and always tell her the truth. Here's the second bit of counsel for the husbands. Teach her about God. Job did that clearly. Look at how he did it. He asked a question. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity? What great theology!

27:51 Sweetheart, you have to understand that our God is not a health and wealth God. Our God is a sovereign Lord. He is Lord over whatever occurs in our home, in our lives like I'm going through. This is no surprise to God. For some unrevealed reason, he has permitted it. and you need to know, honey, that while we can't explain it, our God is sovereign over this as well. He taught her about God. I've not met a godly woman that I ever remember saying to me, I really am not interested in what my husband has to say about spiritual things. Most of them I know will say without hesitation, I'd rather get truth from my husband than anybody I know. and husbands we are viewed in the new testament a section says a wife should not go to a pastor but should go to a husband to find the answer to her questions i i find some women have greater respect for me of all things than their husbands now husbands uh one of the joys of growing close in marriage is sharing things that God's teaching you about himself.

29:09 And think of it. Here's a man covered in sore boils. In such anguish, he can hardly sleep. And yet he's teaching her some things about spiritual things that she needed to learn. I urge you men who are married to Christian ladies and you are growing together in your spiritual life, take the time to share with her some of the things the Lord's teaching you. Now, how we go about it is important, okay? Rather than, have I got some things to set you straight on? Or, there are four things you need to know. Just, you know, just ask like a question. Shall we not receive good from God and not also adversity? Do it graciously. Do it gratefully. Boy, you give some guys freedom to do this. It's like they are in man. They got the gloves on.

30:05 They are going to pound this into him if it's the last thing he does. Don't go there. Here's a third. Model verbal purity. In all this, Job did not sin with his lips. Model verbal purity. because we live with our wives over the years as we do and because we become very, very comfortable around them and because we become unguarded in our words, our wives usually get the brunt of our worst words. Let's agree that we will remove a verbal impurity from our lips. he did not make a blasphemous statement he did not curse god he does not curse her i loved it when anderson wrote that he didn't call her wicked he called her foolish there's a lot of difference be careful how you talk to your wife men i i can recall a particular pastor who at the door of the church when his wife simply said uh shall we go by the restaurant or do you want to go so and so he turned and unloaded on her a piece of his mind he couldn't afford to lose and and uh i've i've got it i've got to tell you she took it like a champ and my heart went out to her we were all embarrassed as i as several of us witnessed this uh embarrassing statement made by this fairly well-known preacher and uh i learned a lot about that preacher that day i i don't care how well known or how important or how much money you make or how big your company is, you don't have the right to talk to your wife like a dog. She is your partner, she is your equal, and she knows a lot of stuff on you.

31:59 she too can write the unauthorized biography and not sign it you know number four accept her completely love her unconditionally those words are all important put them down just like I gave them. Accept her completely. Love her unconditionally. I'll tell you, a wife thrives in that kind of context. She is who she is. God has made her into the woman she has become. She was the wife you chose. You chose. She has become the woman that God is making her into, and that requires, that calls for complete acceptance and unconditional love.

33:03 What it leads to in the long haul is commitment. You're there for the long haul. You're there to stay. And no amount of hardship, difficulty, test, or trial will separate you. In fact, it will pull you closer together. many a marriage is strung together by very thin fragile threads and tests come either from the children or a difficult birth and birth defects in a child or trials and tests in business or in the financial realm or in the emotional realm or whatever you you hang in there guys hang in there hang in there hang in there tell her how much she means to you talk to her about the value she has in your life she represents guys just look for ways to get out got a good friend we've been pretty serious here so I gotta have a little fun with you I had a friend send me a cute story a woman awakes in the middle of the night and her husband's gone and he's left the bed by her and she puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him and he's sitting all by himself at a kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee just kind of staring at the wall blinking with tears and she said what's what's the matter dear she says why are you down here at this time of night what's going on he looks up from the cup of coffee and he says, you remember 20 years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?

34:44 She says, yeah, of course I remember. He pauses, words don't come easily. He says, remember when your father saw us in the car and we were smooching and boy, he stuck a pistol in my face and he said, any boy who kisses my daughter like that's going to marry her either you marry her or I'm sending you to jail for 20 years remember that she said yeah I remember that wipes another tear away and he says I would have gotten out today That's not a good guy that'll do that. I would have gotten out today. All these years, he'd been counting up to have 15. My wife who heard this sermon the first time said lose the joke, okay?

35:46 I am not, well I might listen to her, but Now, it isn't long before the word gets out to Job's friends, and we all have friends. I hope we all have a few friends. I don't think he just had three or four. I think he had a number, but these particular friends got word that Job had come across a whole series of tragic events. I want you to stop and think about a couple or three good friends. Okay? Just in your mind, name them in your mind.

36:29 Okay? And let's say that all of you guys or all you gals have been together, maybe from school it started and you've been cultivating this friendship over the years. Let's say one of them really hit bottom. And you got worried. And the other buddies of yours or the other gals were in the same sorority or maybe guys on the same ball team or whatever, and you all get the word that your friend is really going through it. You may not make it. What are you going to do?

37:02 Well, just exactly what you're thinking is what these three friends did. What's interesting is we don't know much about them. In fact, we know very little, even about where they lived originally. They're called three friends in verse 11, Job's three friends, and were told that when they heard of all this adversity that had come upon him, they came each one from his own place and their name for us, Eliphaz, Bildad, Zophar. interesting when you get to chapter 32 verses 2 4 and 6 you'll read of another friend named Elihu E-L-I-H-U Elihu comes on the scene but he says he's younger and he's shy so he has allowed the unfolding three cycles of dialogue occur through Job from chapter 3 all the way to 32, three cycles of dialogue occur and Elihu stays quiet as Eliphaz speaks and Job answers and then Bildad speaks and Job answers and then Zophar speaks and Job answers and then Eliphaz speaks again and then Bildad. And so we're going to see that a little more closely when we analyze these chapters and sort of select our journey through the book. But Elihu waits till the end. Anyway, there were altogether four, though three are mentioned here. They were probably wealthy Sikhs who had the time and the money to leave their place of living and their businesses, if we could call it that. Maybe they had met in the business world. Maybe they were part of the enterprise that had been Job's past. We're not told. You can link some of their locations to places like Edom and Northern Arabia, but you can't locate exactly where they are.

39:06 These are ancient places that scholars find debatable. So where they're from isn't important. The point is, each one came from a different place in an agreement that they would come to be with their friend. And we're told, well, we're not told, but it's implied, they spoke the same language, so they've got language in common, and they knew one another. They're called friends and they planned a trip. Notice they, verse 11, made an appointment together to come, to sympathize, and to comfort. Always note the verbs when you're reading through the scriptures. The words of action and they also tie in together the movement of what's going on. They decided to come, to sympathize, and to comfort. They they agreed together now a lot of things we're going to say about these friends that that would certainly be unattractive and disappointing about how things wound up because the longer they stayed the the worse things got and the more argumentative and the more judgmental etc but you've got to commend these men for coming so I want to I want to say right now in the basis of the implications of verses 11 through 13, I want to give you four or five pieces of advice regarding friendships. Okay. We've talked to husbands about those three or four things. Now we're going to think about friends and we'll click them off one by one.

40:46 We're not going to be here till 2 30, but I'm, I realize what time it is. So let's, let's move ahead. The first of the five, friends care enough to come without being invited to come. Friends care enough to come without being asked to come. No one sent a message saying to Eliphaz and Bildad and Zophar, would you please come and bring a little sympathy and comfort for Job, the man is dying in this anguish, this crucible. Nope, didn't do that. They heard that he was going through it and they came. Those people you thought of a few moments ago, if you were to hear that one of them was going through a terminal battle with a disease, I have the feeling you'd connect in some way. You wouldn't wait for an invitation. Please write me a letter of encouragement or help me through this. Remember John 11 where Lazarus takes ill and Martha and Mary, the sisters, write Jesus and say, the one whom you love is sick, period. They don't even ask him to come. And when he doesn't come, which is another whole story we covered on Easter, remember, when he doesn't come, they're offended. But he could have said, you never asked me to come. Wait, wait. You don't ask a friend. If a friend of yours has a coronary and you find out they're over at Presbyterian Hospital, he didn't long before you're nearby that friend of yours going through that heart attack. You don't wait for an invitation. No one's ever invited to a funeral.

42:27 We say we go because we're paying our last respects. You go out of respect. So these men love Job. Friends care enough to come without being asked to come. Here's the second. Friends respond with sympathy and comfort. Friends respond with sympathy and comfort. sympathy includes identifying with the sufferer friends do that entering into his or her crucible for the purpose of feeling the anguish and the pain comfort is attempting to ease the pain by helping any way to make the sorrow lighter you run errands for them you take care of the kids you provide a meal, you assist wherever you need to assist because you want to comfort them. One man writes, on learning of Job's affliction, three beloved friends agreed together to travel to us in order to console Job. The term for friends has a wide range of meanings including intimate counselor, close friend, party in a legal dispute. Friends often solemnize their relationship with a covenant, promising to care for each other under all kinds of circumstances.

43:51 The relationship between Job and his three friends gives every evidence of being based on a covenant. Isn't that intriguing? Maybe while you were in school, you sort of had a pact with each other. You guys got close. You said to each other, no matter what, wherever we find ourselves in the future. We want each of you to know we're going to be there, especially when you're in need. When I was going through seminary, there were two guys that I studied with for every major exam, and we were inseparable when test time came. To this day, they play a special part in Cynthia's and my mind. Both of them happened to have been single. I was married. They would come to our place, we'd have coffee, we'd have a light meal or whatever, we'd study into the night to bone up for the exam together and it was kind of like a pact among us to stay close. We never wrote it out, but it's true. Now these men had that kind of closeness and they came to give sympathy and comfort. Here's a third. Friends openly express the depth of their feelings.

44:58 Friends openly express the depth of their feelings. Friends do that, don't they? It's not uncommon to see a friend standing nearby in the room fighting back the tears. It's not uncommon for the friend to express his or her feelings. Acquaintances don't do that. A nurse who comes to take care of you in the hospital, I mean, is she going to say, how are you really?

45:30 Tell me, I want to feel deeply with you. Are you kidding? She says, bend over, you know, or whatever. She wakes you up to see if you're asleep. She gives you a shot, you know. Okay, time for another one. You know, it's not a close friend that will do that. Friends don't give each other shots, you know. they were they were aghast when they saw what they saw they didn't even recognize him they probably went to the homestead where they had been before and the place didn't even look the same everything is destroyed there's not even a kid they can only see the grave sites and somebody nearby says oh joe well he left uh some time ago i think he's at the city dump i he and and they they breathe deeply and they went down there and they before they ever got there. They got close enough to see him and he has no hair and his robe is torn and he's sitting there with dung burning near him and dogs nearby and the garbage around. And they wept.

46:41 They wept. Man, look at this. And it says they threw dust over their heads toward the sky, an ancient expression of grief. that means they were down near the dust. In fact, it says they sat down on the ground. Verse 13. It's what friends do. Don't worry about getting dirty or bloody. They don't worry about the mess, which brings me to my fourth. Friends aren't turned off by distasteful sights. Rather they come alongside and they stay as long as is appropriate. you're not turned off because the room doesn't smell good. You're not turned off because your friend weighs half of what he used to weigh.

47:35 You see beyond all of that, you're not turned off because they're laying there in a hospital gown or because the bottom has dropped out of their life and they're at wit's end. That doesn't turn you off and make you turn around and leave. That draws you in. these guys raised their voices and sat down on the ground with him. They demonstrated their anguish. and they stayed seven days and seven nights without a word. Fifth, friends understand so they say very little.

48:22 I love the way Warren Wiersbe treats this. The best way to help people who are hurting is just to be with them, saying little or nothing, letting them know you care. Don't try to explain everything. Now listen, explanations never heal a broken heart If his friends had listened to him, accepted his feelings and not argued with him They would have helped greatly But they chose to be prosecuting attorneys instead of witnesses Let me tell you about a really good friend The good friend doesn't attempt to give you God's message And certainly doesn't preach they know that I read it this week if I can call it yeah I got it they know the value of suffering presence isn't that a good way to put it I read that that's not mine suffering presence you look up and you look into the eyes of somebody you've known over the years and their eyes reflect compassion there's no judgment they're just there and they don't stay too long you know what drives you crazy the guy that comes in with a big fat bible and he's got notes in it and he's going to read to you these chapters and then he's going to teach you and you're laying there you know barely able to belch and he's reading from 2 Chronicles 13 to 27.

50:09 Furthermore, there's... And then God taught me this when I was struggling with measles back when I was 12. And, you know, please. Don't stay too long. These guys stayed because they had every reason to be near them. The kind of anguish this man's going, he may have died any moment for all they knew. But they didn't stay and preach. They stayed with their lips sealed.

50:42 One of my friends, toward the latter part of his life, a man named Joe Bailey, B-A-Y-L-Y, fellow author. I love Joe because of his realism. I loved it that he was never interested in impressing people. If you ever read Bailey, you know Psalms of My Life. It's just a profound book that Joe left in his legacy. And he and Mary Lou, his wife, had a house full of kids, but they lost three, three. They lost one at 18 days following surgery. they lost one at five because of leukemia and they lost one at 18 years after a sledding accident because of a hemophilia he was a mile had mild hemophilia three three at different times joe writes in a wonderful book the view from a hearse which has been changed entitled to the last thing we talk about he wrote this this is so good i was sitting torn by grief someone came and talked to me of god of god's dealings of why it happened of hope beyond the grave. He talked constantly. He said things I knew were true. I was unmoved except I wished I wish he'd go away. He finally did. Another came and sat beside me.

52:13 He didn't talk. He didn't ask leading questions. He just sat beside me an hour or more. listened when I said something, answered briefly, prayed simply, left. I was moved. I was comforted. I hated to see him go.

52:37 You've done it right when they hate to see you go. They'll usually not tell you, but you'll know when it's time to leave. let me tell you you come up alongside a job don't even think of saying I know how you feel you don't you can hardly imagine nor can I but your suffering presence will be like a bomb around them And I'll never forget it. Would to God these dear guys had just never started talking.

53:23 It messed everything up. Let's bow together. interesting after all these years of walking with and knowing the Lord we've never heard him say a word Talk about a model of appropriate silence. oh, he's talked to us in his word for sure, but he hasn't filled the air with verbiage. He's just been a comforting presence.

54:00 He understands fully. He lost his son too, remember. Oh, he didn't lose him, just that we killed him. and he died for those who drove spikes in his hands and feet. The Lord Jesus even said, as he hung there, Father, forgive them. They don't even know what they're doing. If you've never met the Lord Jesus, you're really missing out on the best part of life. I would plead with you to put that off no longer. just come to him today. Just come like you are. Don't try to get cleaned up.

54:53 Just come like you are. that is in fact the only way he'll accept you, just like you are. Thanks for being so good to us, our Father. Though there have been times of our lives we really weren't very good to you. We ran from you when you were seeking us.

55:17 We rejected you when you reached out. We resented you when you didn't relieve the pressure or answer yes. to our pleadings. Some may have even cursed you. But because you are faithful and consistent, God, you have never stopped loving us unconditionally. Thank you for that.

55:38 We pray, Lord, that you will use these words in a very special way in the lives, especially of husbands and the lives of friends. I pray, Father, that the deeper we get into this book, the deeper will be our walk with you. Now, Lord, whatever this week may hold, I pray that we will have learned some truth that will go with us and stay near us and become a part of us. For these truths are eternal.

56:13 Thank you for them. Dismiss us now with the hope of sins forgiven and life rearranged.