Let Jesus Deal With Your Disappointments | Max Lucado | Through It All | Oak Hills Church

47:45 because we fear we won't get through things. We fear that the depression will never lift, the anxiety will never pass, the financial pressure will never dissipate. We fear we won't. But the recurring promise of Scripture is God gets his people through things, through things. So in the month of July, we've considered this through it all. over the first three weeks of the month my daughter jenna took us into the seldom studied prophetic book called habakkuk habakkuk not only did she prove my point that i'm not the best preacher in our family she helped us understand that even from ancient scriptures god has promised that when times are tough, he is present and he will help us get through these things.

48:46 I just want to go one more step on this conversation and discuss the power of God to get us through times of disappointment, of disappointment. So we're very grateful that you're here. I don't know if you can tell, but I have a brand new shoulder. What do you think? I have a brand new shoulder. i am i am a bionic man uh i have i should have taken out stalk in advil i've gone through dozens of bottles it seems uh it's not a it's not a very pleasant process but i'm very grateful for the physicians and uh and when i worship now instead of two hands up i'm Kind of like this. Kind of like this. And I think the Lord accepts that because he understands. I've got some great sermon illustrations from this shoulder replacement surgery.

49:45 I'm saving all of those for the fall. But I can't wait to get to that. Anyway, let's get to this one. Dealing with disappointments. Let's pray and then we'll get to work. Gracious Lord, how good you are. I have a blessing to your name. Thank you, Father God. thank you and now have your way with us forgive our speaker his sins are many help us to see Jesus just Jesus through Christ we pray and all God's people said I moved to Miami Florida in the summer of 1979 a church in downtown Miami in an area of town called Little Havana, agreed to let me come on to the staff. And their desire was to help fund a move that I had planned to Brazil, scheduled for 1983.

50:45 Also, they offered me a chance to serve on the church staff and get some experience. And boy, did I need it. I was 24 years old, fresh out of seminary, maybe some head knowledge, but not much heart knowledge. There were only three of us on that church staff, and on a good Sunday, there were about 300 people in attendance. It was a vibrant church, and like I said, they had agreed to help me raise some of the money, with some of the money I needed to raise to make this move to Brazil. They had this unusual practice that they called the fifth Sunday contribution. I don't think I was aware of it, but each year, four months, have five Sundays. And so this church built their church budget around 48 Sundays.

51:44 and they reserved these fifth Sunday contributions for them each year for special needs or special initiatives and they said I was one of those initiatives and they gave me a fifth Sunday offering and I was so thankful because I needed the money. I needed the money. By this point, I was married and I was six months from moving to Brazil and I had the salary but I did not have what we called a moving fund. In other words I just needed money to buy airplane tickets, pay for the transport of our furniture, make a down payment on an apartment, make a down payment on a church building or a place where the church could meet. I needed $10,000.

52:37 Well the average offering each Sunday was $7,500. it the elders said you can have anything that you raise on that Sunday so I got to work again I was a newlywed I was six months away from moving Dinal into Brazil I needed the help and so anyone who would meet me I met anyone who would talk to me I talked to them I took so many people out to lunch I spoke at every Bible class I could I went to home groups I sent an all church letter, a letter out to the whole church. I mean, I did everything I could, kind of making my plea, telling people that every penny you give on this particular Sunday will help us move to Brazil. And I told them I needed $10,000, which was more than our average weekly offering of $7,500. Well, that fifth Sunday offering came.

53:34 We prayed about it. And on that Sunday, we took up the collection. and the offering was $15,000. $15,000. $5,000 more than I needed and twice as much as the church typically gave. Oh my goodness, was there a load off my shoulders? We could breathe deeply and focus on the move.

54:01 But then the leaders called me into a meeting. that particular church had five elders and apart from the decision that I'm about to share with you they did a masterful job leading the church they could have been my father age wise each of them could have been my dad they were wise and compassionate men again with the exception of the one decision that I'm about to share with you they did a masterful job but on this Saturday after that Sunday offering they called me into a meeting the five elders and at that point I was 26 26 year old max and they congratulated me they said wow what a wonderful offering $15,000 and I thanked them for the opportunity and then they told me we're going to keep 7,500 of it you can keep half of it we'll take half I was stunned I did not see that coming I was blindsided ambushed again I'm relatively speaking right I'm a kid I know 26 feels old to you 26 year olds but I was just a kid compared to those men they were successful businessmen, professors I didn't know how to respond and I opened my mouth to speak and I began to cry I just began to weep you need to know I'm not a weeper some guys are and I admire that I'm not it's probably one of the things for which I need therapy but I'm just not I don't cry I've on one hand I can count the number of times that I've really just wept and that was

56:08 one of them and I didn't just get choked up I sobbed right there at the conference table right there in the conference room right there in front of those five men I put my head down on the table and put my arms around my head and my shoulders began to heave, I could not stop. finally I just stood up and I walked out went to a corner in the office area and I cried some more and then I was able to catch my breath and wipe my tears away and I walked back in and those elders their eyes were so white and they immediately apologized they immediately recanted that decision they said we messed up and I accepted their apology and again good godly men to this day I don't know where that decision came from but they restored the funds and everything went on.

57:10 And I love those. They're all in heaven now. I told Dinalyn later that day about that moment. She said, why do you think you reacted that way? And I said, I'm not quite sure. I know. And it took some time. I think I was sharing the story almost a year later when somebody said here's what it is Max you were dealing with disappointment disappointment and I think they were correct I felt a deep disappointment a disappointment in the men a disappointment in the decision a disappointment in what they had said and what they did It was a deep, deep disappointment. That's an interesting word, isn't it?

58:06 Disappointment. If you take the DIS off the front of it, what do you have? You have an appointment. You have something you're expecting. I kind of like appointments because they tell me what is about to happen. A disappointment is one way of saying you expected something. you had an appointment but now it's not going to happen it's a dis appointment well those letters can mess up a word can't they just like dis turns grace into disgrace dis turns respect into disrespect dis turns encouragement into discouragement and dis turns an appointment into a dis-appointment. Down deep, we all know that we don't know exactly what's going to happen.

59:06 But we have these expectations. When we stand at the altar, we have this expectation that the person who says, I do today, will still be saying, I do decades from now. And when they don't, there is a dis-appointment. Because we had an appointment with fidelity. and we are disappointed when we take on a career or a profession we have this expectation this appointment with if not prosperity at least ample provision and then we get laid off and all of a sudden our appointment becomes a disappointment you have had disappointments. and maybe you're dealing with one right now. how do you deal with your disappointments one of the most common i see is health we just kind of assume that these bodies that are rocking and rolling in our 20s are going to be rocking and rolling in our 70s boy how many of us have faced that disappointment right they just kind of wear out and nobody told us in fact we should have seen it coming correct i mean everybody else we knew got old but kind of down deep we thought well I'll be the exception I'll be bullet proof until the day I die disappointment so we've got to learn how to deal with disappointments I think much of life is managing expectations of life much of life is just managing the expectations of life. When a parent buries a child, what an unmet expectation.

1:01:06 We expected we would, they would outlive us, right? It's an unmet expectation. It's a deep disappointment. When you put your faith in elders or a pastor or maybe a professor or a coach, someone you look up to and then they let you down. There is that deep, deep disappointment when there's abuse or mistreatment. There are deeper words for it, I'm sure, but that sense of disappointment unless it's dealt with can harden a person's heart. Can harden a person's heart. And for fear of not getting hurt again, they will not love again. Or for fear of not failing again, they will never attempt anything again.

1:02:04 So dealing with disappointments is crucial. How are you dealing with yours? You could do what Miss Haversham did. Maybe you remember her from Charles Dickens' novel Great Expectations. She was jilted by her fiancé just prior to the wedding. Her appointment became a disappointment. How did she respond? Not very well. She closed all the blinds in her house. She stopped the clock. She left the wedding cake on the table to gather cobwebs. and she continued to wear her wedding dress until it hung in yellow decay around her shrunken form. Her wounded heart consumed her life.

1:03:01 Her disappointment defined her life. Her disappointment defined her life. it doesn't have to with God's help your disappointments won't define your life they will instead refine your life case in point the apostle Paul wanted to be a missionary to Spain did you know that his desire was to ultimately go what must have seemed like the outermost part of the globe, Spain. But rather than send Paul to Spain, God sent Paul to prison, to Rome.

1:03:54 Hmm. And the apostle made a decision. His decision went something like this. well I guess as long as I'm stuck here I might as well write some letters and so he wrote a letter to Philemon to the Philippians to the Ephesians to the Colossians we call those the prison epistles because they were written in prison I have no doubt that the apostle Paul would have done a great work in Spain but what work could have ever compared to the lasting legacy and impact of those four letters that we read and study to this very day because he did not allow his disappointment to define his life he chose instead to allow his disappointment to refine his life he trusted God and what was intended as a setback became a step forward.

1:04:59 What about you? Could you use some help in dealing with your disappointments? If so, I've got a great scripture for you. It's from the great 23rd Psalm. Six words. You anoint my head with oil. Psalm 23 in verse 5. You anoint my head with oil. I know what you're thinking. What in the world does a scripture about anointing have to do with disappointments? Well, a little agricultural livestock lesson would help us. Shepherds in ancient history, remember King David when he wrote this, had been a shepherd. He knew what shepherds do and what shepherds did. And he might have recalled anointing the heads of sheep. Why would he anoint them?

1:05:52 Well, one reason is to keep the bugs away. He would anoint their heads with this oil that served as a repellent. Because as bugs bug people, bugs can kill sheep. There were these little flies that could get inside the nasal passage of sheep. And deposit their eggs. And would drive the sheep literally crazy. They would butt their heads against trees and rocks.

1:06:21 And so to prevent that from happening. the shepherd would anoint the sheep with oil to help them manage the insects or the irritations of life. There was a second reason. The sheep would be anointed to keep them from hurting each other. I know sheep are typically passive. They're just kind of calm. Except in mating season. In mating season they just kind of go crazy. They put the ram in ram-bunctious. That was a pun. It didn't work, I know. It didn't work in the first two services either. But I keep saying it. And I keep using this one. You know, one ram would see a sweetheart and he would say, I want you. no can you explain that to your neighbor who's not even trying to laugh I want you baby and the rams would literally run at each other in competition over that sweetheart they would butt heads the shepherd knew this was going to happen and so that same oil that keeps bugs away was slippery enough that it would cause the two heads when they collided to bounce or kind of slide off of each other he anointed their heads with oil to keep them from killing each other and then there was a third reason and that was just to heal the wounds you can imagine life in a pasture, grazing, going through bushes.

1:08:11 A sheep get cut, abrasions. A good shepherd would take time to inspect the sheep and anoint the head with oil so that those cuts today won't become infections tomorrow. Did you know we have a good shepherd? and did you know he anoints our heads with oil he made us he made us we belong to him we are his people we are the sheep he tends Psalm 100 in verse 3 right now the Holy Spirit the blessed shepherd is tending to his sheep today you have come so your shepherd can minister to you sheep aren't the only ones who need preventative care we may not have bugs getting on our nose but we have people getting on our nerves many of our lives begin our disappointments a lot they just begin as irritations not lion-sized attacks but just this day-to-day swarm of frustrations and mishaps and heartaches and maybe you find yourself increasingly just gloomy just aggravated, ticked off.

1:09:45 You may even hit your head against a tree a few times. You may hit your head against a person. Disappointments, unless we take them to our shepherd, we will take them out on other people. what happened to me in Miami friend is tiddlywinks compared to what has happened to you I get that I received an immediate apology in restoration it really didn't derail me except that one day not a bit did not derail me but I meet with people and you see in the mirror when you look in the mirror a person who who never got an apology Thank you. who attempted restoration but was rebuffed and has to live with a deep-seated disappointment. And my concern is that that disappointment that you did not deserve could turn you into a person that you do not want to be.

1:10:48 we get hurt. We get wounded. So, we like sheep need a shepherd. Again, that scripture, Psalm 100 in verse 3, a different translation. We belong to him. We are his people. We are the sheep that he tends. He will do for you what a shepherd does for the flock. if the gospels teach us anything they teach us that Jesus is a good shepherd remember Jesus said I am the good shepherd he assigns himself friend the task of dealing and helping you the good shepherd gives his life for the sheep oh how we see this in the gospels he touched the eyes of the blind man he touched the disease of the leper he touched the body of the dead girl he touched the heart of Nicodemus the open heart of Zacchaeus the broken heart of Mary Magdalene the confused heart of Cleopas the stubborn heart of Paul and the repentant heart of Peter he's a good shepherd who touches he will tend to you so how will you let him do so three practical ideas and then I'll be done first of all David would urge us to go to him go to him he anoints my head with oil speaking of God yes we go to the pastor yes we go to a counselor yes we go to somebody who's wiser who's had some experience yes we seek help from friends but no one can take the place of that supernatural interaction between you and Jesus no one can I would like to ask you have you taken time to go to a quiet place a closet, a corner a bedroom, the backyard have you gone to some place

1:12:54 and gotten on your knees and said Jesus I'm so disappointed I'm just so disappointed did you see what happened to me Jesus did you see and just spill it out spell it out tell him what happened tell him how much it hurt friend he he's your shepherd again if you need to talk to somebody talk to a counselor pastor yes yes yes but nothing takes the place of that tender moment of prayer and for most of us one prayer won't be enough we have to just keep coming back keep coming back but in time with time you will sense that hurt of your heart beginning to heal because God has given you this promise that he heals the broken heart doesn't just help but he heals the broken heart would you let him heal you would you just go to him the scripture urges us to go to him simply anyone who is having trouble should what complain should bellyache should get angry at the world anyone who's having trouble should pray just pray go to him before you go to anyone else go to him that's your first step go to the right person your second step is to take the right posture and that is to bow bow before God you know sheep are not known for their intellect but they know how to let the shepherd anoint their head with oil they know to stand still and bow their head they take the right posture they let the shepherd do the work Peter urges us to do the same

1:15:00 he says be humble under God's powerful hand so that he will lift you up when the right time comes be humble we go into God's presence with reverence we acknowledge that he and he alone calls the shots he's the shepherd not us he's the one in charge we aren't That is not to say we don't make our requests. We are told to make our requests. But we do so with humility. We state what we want, but we pray for what is right.

1:15:38 We state what we want, but we pray for what is right. And if God gives us the prison of Rome instead of the mission of Spain, we accept it. Why? because we know that God will always give what is right to his people who cry to him night and day and he will not be slow to answer them God will always give what is right. do you believe that to his people who cry to him night and day and he will not be slow to answer them oh Lord Jesus minister right now to your church minister sorry I just sensed the spirit working in our hearts and in the church if you really needed that promise just receive it we go to him we bow before him and then lastly we just trust him we just trust him we trust in him you know there are two types of faith well really one type but there's another type that masquerades as faith there is an only if faith or there is an even if faith I close by just asking you which is yours there is one faith that says and you've heard this maybe you've said this I will believe in God but only if only if he and then we fill in the blank as if we call the shots and there are people who say I don't believe in God

1:17:43 because I asked him and he didn't do what I wanted It's a conditional faith. It's a conditional faith. Folks, it doesn't fly. It just doesn't. Remember, we're the sheep. We're not the shepherd. But there are so many people who have discovered the power of an even-if faith. When Jenna, my daughter, led us through the book of Habakkuk, she took us as far as Habakkuk chapter 3 to the final chapter. this great declaration Habakkuk has had an even if faith remember this scripture for even if the fig tree doesn't blossom and no fruit is on the vines even if the olive tree fails to produce and the fields yield no food at all even if the sheep vanish from the sheep pen and there are no cows in the stalls I will rejoice in Adonai I will take joy in the God of my salvation Elohim Adonai is my strength he makes me swift and sure footed as a deer and enables me to stride over my high places even if we rise up from a time of prayer and we say Lord I'm going to believe in you even if this doesn't turn out the way I want it to well I found one more example of this and I'll close with by reminding you of those three young Hebrew boys who were led into captivity sometime after the days of Habakkuk they were taken into Babylonian captivity they had those funny names Shadrach Meshach and Abednego and they refused to worship the king he demanded that everybody worship a statue of himself and the three Hebrew boys said we're not going to do it and they got thrown into a furnace the king made an appearance to him and said now if you'll worship me I won't I won't let you burn in this fire and you know what they said in response oh Nebuchadnezzar we do not need to defend ourselves before you if we're thrown into the blazing furnace the God whom we serve is able to save us he will rescue us from your power your majesty but even if he doesn't we want to make it

1:19:57 clear to you your majesty we'll never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up That's in the book of Daniel chapter 3. Even if. So your faith. Would you describe it as only if or even if? As we let the Lord anoint our head with oil. We do so with an even if faith. Remember those three steps. Very simple. Lord I give myself to you. We go. We bow. And we trust. We go to him. we bow before him and we trust in him that could outline a prayer every day of our lives we go to him we bow before him and we trust him it's worth a try