Listen to the Jerks in Your Life – Secret #8 – Part 2

2:21 Okay, let's turn our attention to our topic today. You're about to hear the second part of a message I introduced yesterday. We're learning the importance of taking a rebuke from others, even from people who may rub us the wrong way. This topic is included in the best-selling book I've written called The Solomon Secrets, 10 Keys to Extraordinary Success. To get a copy of my book, just go online or give us a call. It's yours when you include a generous gift to support the ministry of Pathway to Victory. But be sure to respond today because only a few days remain to receive this time-limited offer. We'll repeat this information just after my message. Right now, let's resume our study in Psalm 103. I gave it a humorous title. Listen to the jerks in your life.

3:16 Solomon in the book of Proverbs has a term for those corrections. that God sends into our life. He calls them rebukes or reproofs or discipline. And over and over again, Solomon in the book of Proverbs says that a successful person is one who responds positively to the correction that God sends into his life. By way of definition, I want you to jot down what a reproof is because over and over again, you find this word used in the book of Proverbs. A reproof is an event that God brings into our life to convict us of our sin and motivate us to turn from that sin. If we're going to be successful in life, and that's what this series is about, how should we respond to correction that comes into our life, whether it's through negative events or whether it's through the criticism of other people? Let me give you four positive ways to respond to painful reproof in your life. And each one of these begins with an E.

4:19 Number one, expect reproof. Expect reproof. Don't be surprised when you're criticized. You are going to make mistakes, big mistakes in your life, okay? You're going to make them. I'm going to make them. All God's children are going to make mistakes. It's not a question if we're going to mess up, we are going to sin. And so not only are we going to sin and make mistakes, we're going to experience the accompanying reproofs that come with our mistakes, whether it's negative events or whether it's negative words from other people. We shouldn't be surprised that that happens. In Psalm 103, beginning with verse 10, David said, for God has not dealt with us according to our sins. Aren't you grateful for that? God doesn't deal with us according to our sins, nor has he rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is God's loving kindness toward those who fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far God has removed our transgressions from us. How do you deal with reproofs in life. First of all, expect them. They're going to come because we make mistakes.

5:35 Secondly, evaluate reproofs. Evaluate the criticisms, the negative events that come into your life. Now get this, not every negative event, not every criticism is because we're doing something wrong. But some of those negative events are the result of our doing. And that's why we need God's wisdom to evaluate the reproofs, the corrections that come into our life to see if there's some sin in our life that needs to change. In James 1.5, James said, if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. Now, many of us have memorized that verse, but we've memorized it completely out of context. The context of that verse is found in verses two and three about going through trials in life. And James says, when you're going through trials in your life, ask for God's wisdom to know if these trials are the result of your doing, your mistakes, or whether they're coming as a sign of God's testing and strengthening of your faith.

6:44 How can you make that determination? Let me suggest three people you ought to consult with to determine whether a criticism or a negative event that comes into your life is because of your own fault. The first person you ought to consult with is God. Ask God to reveal to you the source of this difficulty in your life. Secondly, we need to ask a trusted friend. Now, I know you find this hard to believe, but every now and then I receive some criticism, just a little bit. Sometimes when it's coming from somebody that I have some faith in or even if it's coming from one of the jerks in my life. Sometimes I have to ask myself, now, is there any truth in this at all? And I've got about two or three people I have confidence in that I talk to. And sometimes when I say, well, you know, this person said this, or this letter said thus and thus and thus and thus, do you think there is any merit in it at all? Sometimes these people will say, no, pastor, there's really not. But they are just as likely to say, you know pastor even though they could have used kinder language even though they could have used a better method there is a kernel of truth in what they're saying that you ought to listen to I'm grateful for people like that in my life if you have a real friend it's somebody who's going to tell you not just what you want to hear but what you need to hear the third person you ought to consult with to see if this negative criticism or this negative event is the result of your doing. You ought to consult with yourself. Ask yourself some questions. Is this a criticism I keep hearing over and over and over again from various people? Or is this negative event, whether it's the loss of a job or the breakup of a relationship, is this something I keep experiencing over and over again? Is it some wrong assumption I'm making? Some faultiness in my own thinking. Solomon said it in very stark terms in Proverbs 26 verse 11. He said, like a dog that

8:51 returns to its vomit is a fool who repeats his folly. Whenever negative situations, negative words come into your life, don't be surprised for them. Expect them. Evaluate them. See if they have a kernel of truth in them. And then if you believe that there's something you need to change, that leads to the third step, embrace reproofs. Embrace them rather than resist them. I love the story about the young bank executive who was getting ready to become the CEO of the bank. He was gonna receive the mantle of leadership from the founding guy of the bank, a crusty old CEO. And so one day the young executive walked into the retiring CEO and he said, you know, sir, you've had a legendary career. You've made this bank what it is. I'm getting ready to succeed you. And I just wonder, is there any advice you would give me? What has been the secret of your success? How do you explain your remarkable career?

9:48 The crusty old bank executive was working. He looked up at the young man and said, two words, good decisions. The young man said, well, sir, that's very helpful. but do you mind me asking you how do you make good decisions that make you successful the old man looked up and he said one word experience the young guy thought well that's pretty interesting he was about to leave he turned around he said sir pardon me for pressing my luck but I've got to ask you one final question what is the key to gaining the experience that will help you make good decisions The old man looked up and said, two words, bad decisions. We all make bad decisions, but just making bad decisions doesn't guarantee you'll gain the experience to make good decisions later on. What Solomon is saying here is we need to learn from the bad decisions so that we can gain the experience to make good decisions. He said it this way in Proverbs 29 verse 1, a man who hardens his neck after much reproof will suddenly be broken beyond remedy. On the other hand, those who care to learn from their bad decisions will experience success. Look at Proverbs 19 verse 20. Listen to counsel and accept discipline that you may be wise the rest of your days. Notice Solomon is contrasting two different responses to reproofs.

11:25 Resisting reproof or responding positively to reproof. I think Solomon had in the back of his mind when he drew that contrast between resisting and responding correctly to reproofs. I think he was thinking of his own father, David, because Solomon saw in his own dad, both responses illustrated. But you know, the story of David, probably the most well-known story in David's life. One spring night, David allowed a moment of unbridled passion to lure him into a sexual relationship with Bathsheba, who was the wife of one of his commanders, Uriah. That one-night fling resulted in a child. When Bathsheba announced to David that she was pregnant, David panicked, decided to cover over the mistake, and arranged to have Uriah killed on the front lines. For anywhere from six months to a year, David covered over his mistake. He refused to confess it. But even though he tried to cover over it, people knew. The strange stares from his subjects as he walked by, the whispered conversations that would cease when he entered the room, most of all, the unrelenting guilt he kept feeling, were all the result of resisting God's correction in his life. In Psalm 32 verses 3 and 4, David explains what that period of time was life when he covered over his sin rather than confessing his sin. David wrote, when I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night, thy hand was heavy upon me. My vitality was drained away as would the fever heat of the summer.

13:18 But then on a day that began like any other day, a prophet named Nathan walked into the throne room where the king was. Remember what happened? Nathan looked at King David, pointed his bony finger in his face and said, guilty, guilty, thou art the man. At that point, David had a choice to make. He could have resisted that correction. He could have had Nathan executed. That was a treasonous act. He could have continued to resist, but instead David said, you know, this isn't working out so well for me. I'm tired of this guilty conscience. I'm ready to have relief from this guilt. And so at that point, David confessed his sin. Look what happened when he confessed his sin. Verse five, I acknowledged my sin to thee and my iniquity. I did not hide. I said, I will confess my transgressions to the Lord and thou didst forgive the guilt of my sin. That last verse expresses the relief that comes to people who confess their sin rather than cover over their sin. When criticism comes into your life, if it is a valid criticism, embrace it. Make the needed change instead of resisting it and experience the relief that comes from repentance. There's a fourth step that we all need to take if we're going to respond and profit from reproofs in our life, and that is entrust your reproofs to God. That means to believe that God brought this negative circumstance into your life, or he brought this negative criticism into your life for a reason.

15:02 It's to believe and understand that none of us are simply victims of random people or random circumstances that God is in control of our life. And he allowed this negative event, he allowed this negative word into our life for a reason. Again, David provides a great illustration of that. After David received God's forgiveness for his sins with Bathsheba, and to get this, God's forgiveness did not erase the consequences of David's sin. Even after he was forgiven, David continued to experience the negative consequences of his sin. You know, people ask me all the time, Pastor, if God's forgiven me, why do I still feel the results of my sin? Whether those results are from a broken marriage, or drug abuse, or financial problems. I've confessed, I've received God's forgiveness.

15:57 Why do I continue to experience negative consequences for sins that God has already forgiven? Is it because God doesn't love me? No. It's because God does love you. That he allows you sometimes to feel the pain of your sin even after you've been forgiven. David understood that. In Psalm 119 verse 67, David said, before I was afflicted, I went astray, but now I keep thy word. David understood that painful consequences of his forgiven sin were God's way of gently keeping David in line. Whenever David was tempted, perhaps to look at another woman or to stray into some other sin, David felt the sting of his past transgression. And that's why he said, before I was afflicted, before God sent judgment in my life, I went astray, but now I keep your word.

16:54 You know, one of the greatest consequences David had to deal with the rest of his life was a disloyal son named Absalom. Absalom staged a national rebellion against his father. You can imagine how painful that is. Some of you have experienced something similar before, a disloyal child who goes to war against you. Well, literally that's what happened with Absalom. He went to war against David. It was one of the consequences of David's sin with Bathsheba. And yet David believed that even that affliction was a sign of God's love for him to remind him of the necessity of obeying God. And that remarkable response really is key to understanding this most unusual story. Turn over to 2 Samuel 16. 2 Samuel 16. This is a story I bet many of you have never read before. I want you to look at it with me. 2 Samuel 16, beginning with verse 5.

17:54 Listen to this. When King David, and remember he's under assault from Absalom, who's trying to unseat David. When King David came to Baruam, behold, there came out from there a man of the family of the house of Saul, whose name was Shimei, the son of Gerah. He came out cursing continually as he came. And this man, that is Shimei, threw stones at David and at all the servants of King David and all the people and all the mighty men who were at his right hand and at his left. When David and his men would walk by, this guy would come out of a cave, Shimei, and just start throwing rocks at him. But it wasn't just rocks he threw at David, it was also insults. Look at verse 7. And thus Shimei said when he cursed David, Get out, get out, you man of bloodshed and you worthless fellow, for the Lord has returned upon you all the bloodshed of the house of Saul, in whose place you have reigned.

18:53 And the Lord has given the kingdom into the hand of your son Absalom. And behold, you are taken in your own evil for you are a man of bloodshed. Talk about kicking somebody when he's down. You know what Shimei was saying is the reason your son is rebelling against you is because of your sins in the past. God is paying you back. You know why that hurt? because there was a kernel of truth in it. The fact is David was suffering from the consequences of his sin. Criticism that has no merit, that's easy to dismiss. But criticism, even if it has just an ounce of truth in it, is sometimes very difficult to take.

19:41 Fortunately, David had a friend. His name was Abishai. He thought it was unfair for Shimei to pile on David after he was already down. Look at 2 Samuel 16, verse 9. Then Abishai, the son of Zeruiah, said to the king, Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over now and cut off his head. But notice what David said in verse 10. He said, But the king said, What have I to do with you, O sons of Zeruiah? If he curses, and if the Lord has told him curse David, then who shall say, Why have you done so? and then David said to Abishai and to all of his servants, behold, my son who came out from me, that's Absalom, seeks my life. How much more now this Benjamite, let him alone and let him curse for the Lord has told him. He said to his friend, don't stop him. Don't hurt him. leave him alone. God is the one who told him to curse me. You see, David believed in the sovereignty of God. David believed that there is nothing that happened in his life that had not come through the will of God into his life. He didn't believe that Shimei was some free agent to go out hurling rocks or insults without the restraint of God in his life. He believed that God had a reason for it. And it was a good reason. It was a loving reason. Before I was afflicted, David said, I went astray, but now I obey your word. David believed in the sovereignty of God. When I think about David's response to Shimei, I think about the words from the late pastor, Donald Gray Barnhouse, who talked about the sovereignty of God in our life. Listen to these words. They'll give you great hope. There is no will or act of creatures, men, angels, or demons that can do other than work for our good. No dog can bark against us. No man can act or speak against us. No sinister plot of

21:46 evil can be against us, but all must be for our good. There is no phenomenon of nature, fire, flood, storm, earthquake that can work us ultimate ill. The law of gravity cannot cause anything to fall on us unless it has been sifted through the will of God and his purpose for our good. Do you believe that? Do you really believe it? Do you believe there is no harm that can come into your life, no negative event, no negative actions by another person can invade your space unless God has willed it to. And if God has willed it to come into your life, it's not because he hates you. It's because he loves you and he has a perfect plan. He's working out for you. You will never be able to respond positively to the reproofs of life until you're convinced of that. Perhaps it was watching how God dealt with his father, David, that caused Solomon to write these words in Proverbs 3, 12, about the reproofs that God sends into our life. For whom the Lord loves, he reproves, even as a father, the son in whom he delights. It's because of God's love for you, but He brings correction into your life, even when that correction comes from the jerks in your life.

23:21 I'm sensing that God's Spirit is stirring in the heart of someone right now who needs to wake up and receive unsolicited counsel from a friend. Maybe it's you. May God grant you the courage to respond to His gentle call. Well, it's the final week in July, and this is one of my very last days to offer the book I've written on this topic. It's called The Solomon Secrets, Ten Keys to Extraordinary Success. The book includes a chapter on the sensitive issue we address today. It's filled with time-tested wisdom from the Bible, all designed to accelerate and advance your healthy and prosperous life. Solomon teaches us how to experience financial freedom, how to cultivate healthy relationships at home, and how to connect with our children. When you give a generous gift to support Pathway to Victory, you're invited to request a copy today.

24:18 It comes with our thanks for your partnership with us. This is a nonprofit listener-supported ministry, and we rely entirely on the voluntary contributions from friends like you. and no one makes a greater impact on our future than those who give generously. Maybe it's been a while since you have been in touch with us, or perhaps you have never given a contribution. Well, with your gift today, I'll make sure that you receive a copy of my book, The Solomon Secrets. For 30 years, Pathway to Victory has been proclaiming the practical wisdom of God's Word because friends like you have never stopped giving. Thanks so much. Your generous gift today will bring the hope of the gospel to a world that needs it. And I'll send you the Solomon Secrets along with my thanks. Here's David to tell you more.