"The Danger of Suppressing Your Emotions" Pastor Reginald W Sharpe Jr Wednesday May 4 2022

3:54 We've had Jesus week. Lord, we've had Fellowship Bible Academy. Shout out to Elder Jean Jones and all of the professors and all of the teachers that taught us during those five to six weeks back in the month of March into the month of April. I want to say thank you for each of you who jumped in a class and embraced the class and was fully present a part of that class. I heard that FBA was a blessing had by all, and so I appreciate you all. So I haven't really seen you since about February like this, and we're jumping into a new series entitled Ingredients for a Happier Life. ingredients for a happier life this is still the year of fun and so i want to give you the ingredients every night all through the all through may all through june we will be discussing over the next few weeks ingredients for a happier life a happier life and and i and i don't have to preach to fellowship and tell you that god does want us to be happy there is happiness available And if you don't know that, and if you need a refresher on that, go back to the sermon series a few weeks ago entitled The Pursuit of Happiness.

5:10 Where we learn the word blessed or blessed in Matthew chapter 5 is the word for happiness, is the word for blessedness or fortunate. It's the Greek word makarios, which means to be like an island where you have everything you need on that island. And because we have a relationship with God, we are we are sufficient. We're content on this island of life because God has given us what we need on this island. And God intends for us to embrace some level of happiness and joy in our lives. How can this be the year of fun and you not embrace some level of happiness? So tonight, the first ingredient that I want to give you, the first ingredients that I want to give you, Number one is this. You have to guard your internal peace. You have to guard your internal peace. And I'm not going where you think I'm going. Tonight, I want to talk about the danger of suppressing your emotions.

6:15 I want to talk about the danger of you holding things in trying to avoid a necessary conversation. I want to talk about the danger of you being like an overflowing trash can on the inside because you have stuff that should have been let go weeks ago, months ago, years ago, but now it's all piled up. And you're wondering why. Literally, like rotten meat, your attitude stinks. Your perspective stinks. Your conversation stinks. You are reeking of resentment. met you are reeking of bitterness you are angry and don't even know why because even you forgot all the stuff that you've pressed down inside of yourself how can you guard your internal peace when there's no place for peace because all inside of you is all the garbage of yesterday the trash the the unsaid things you should have said the unresolved tensions that have never been resolved You're mad at people. And it ain't y'all. It's me too. We're mad at people. We're struggling. We're short-tempered. We're lacking patience. We're snapping on people. It's hard to smile. We're running out of energy. Everywhere we go, it just feels heavy, super heavy.

7:38 It might be because you've been suppressing things that we should have had a conversation about years ago or months ago. And so God led me as I was working through this idea of ingredients for a happier life. God says, you've got to guard your internal peace. How can you have peace on the inside when all you have is unresolved conflict? Y'all, this is so heavy that I don't even know if I'm going to be able to deal with this all tonight. this might have to be a part two because the truth of the matter without me going deep pulling a report from a psychologist everybody in this room knows the experience of needing to say something and you held it in everybody online tonight knows what it feels like to need to make a move say something change something shift something adjust something and you just keep holding it in and a lot of times it's fear of how is the other party going to respond a lot of the times it's it's you you you're apprehensive and you're timid because you're wondering well i don't know exactly how they're going to take it y'all this was my lesson of 2021 if you avoid conflict on the outside you will have conflict on the inside and that's where we lose our peace because we try to avoid conflict on the outside but we end up internalizing the conflict on the inside that that that should have been solved weeks ago whatever that that is you know what that is you know what that is you should have dealt with that months ago but because you wanted to preserve peace on the outside now you are lacking peace on the inside and if you want to have a happier life you have got to start opening your mouth embracing the fact that wherever there is human connections human relationships there will be conflict

9:44 and conflict can be constructive conflict does not mean you don't know how to get along with anybody you're a problem no wherever there are two or more people there will be conflict and it can be as simple as it is as i like vanilla you like chocolate and one day we have to decide which one we're gonna get are we gonna get chocolate or we're gonna get vanilla well somebody's gonna lose somebody's gonna win so that's a conflict are we getting vanilla are we getting chocolate well or you could come out and say hey how about we get half and half bluebell down in georgia i had it The other day I'm a witness that there is a half and half chocolate and vanilla. I ate the entire pint in a matter of one sitting. So there are ways to deal with conflict, you hear. There can be some resolution. There can be some resolve. But if you are the avoider, if you avoid conflict on the outside, all you're doing is moving the conflict to the inside.

10:42 And what's the backlash of that? What's the residual of that? now you're not just losing peace now you're losing your health now your body is responding to the stuff that you keep stuffing inside now you have high blood pressure now you have cholesterol now you're depressed now there is anxiety now there are mental health challenges and there are physiological challenges are y'all feeling me tonight? I'm just trying to tell you that if you want a happier life you got to stop suppressing conversations, ideas things that hurt you on the inside. I wonder why some of the most rambunctious elders live to be 90. I mean rambunctious. I'm talking about say whatever they want to say. You got somebody coming to your mind right now, right now.

11:35 They might be a member of fellowship. Don't call their name. Don't write in the chat. But you see them. They 89 and they feisty. they're 92 93 and they'll let you have the business they're in their 70s and they have stopped they've lost all their filter they're gonna say what they gotta say and i i'm finding some connection between people who say what they have to say in long life i'm finding some connection literally now there is a report that says people who cuss live longer if that's the case uh deacon linden deacon marx and deacon roosevelt gonna live a long time i'm just kidding we're gonna have a lot of folks living a long time if you live a long time because you cuss but all it is is sometimes you gotta get it out of you some of y'all are saying alright sharp I hear what you're saying now what does the bible say go to Psalm 13 the 13th Psalm and just a lesson of teaching it is never Psalm chapter 13 there are no chapters in the book of Psalm whenever you read the book of Psalm it is either Psalm 13 or the 13th Psalm just a teaching moment this is bible study this is refuel so you ought to be better because of it and so the 13th psalm are the psalm 13 listen to this i'm gonna read the whole thing it's only six verses watch they give david credit it might not have been david but watch this out of the message bible david or whoever this is is going off on god they are letting god have it they're being honest they're being vulnerable here it is long enough God you've ignored me long enough I've looked at the back of your head long enough long enough I've carried this ton of trouble lived with a stomach full of pain long enough my arrogant enemies have looked down their noses at me now wait one second now I don't know about y'all but I was taught you don't talk to God like this you know so you know that that that old school church told you don't question God and you come to God with reverence.

13:37 But God is our heavenly parent. God is our creator. And if God cannot be, if your challenge, if your question intimidates God, then God is not much God at all. God is not intimidated by your question. God is infinite and you are finite. God is infallible and you are fallible. God is eternal. We are temporary. God is not bothered by our questions by our honesty by our pain by our grief we whoever this is david or whoever the psalmist says says i ain't got long enough i look i done looked at the back of your head i've been trying to talk to you i'm tired of you turned around ignoring me i've carried this ton of trouble live with a stomach full of pain my enemies are arrogant and they're looking down on me i'm tired of this and if David or the psalmist can have this honest moment with God with God the God of the universe why can't you and I number one have these kind of moments with God number two have these kind of moments with each other number three have these kind of moments with ourselves you and I have got to stop holding stuff you see what David said he had enough of it he's I'm holding a stomach full of pain have you ever held something that was killing you because you didn't know how to express it god is not intimidated by you saying what you need to say whoever loves you if they really love you they ought not be intimidated or offended by what you have to say and even if they are offended you say it in love be honest about it hey i don't when you said this i felt you always bring it back to you When you did this, I felt.

15:22 My experience when I heard that, what I heard was this, and it did this to me. Always bring it back to you. That's what David is doing. He said, listen, I've carried this. I don't know what you're up there doing, but I've looked at the back of your head. I, I, I'm telling you, I've carried tons of trouble, stomach full of pain, and it's long enough. I can't take it no more. And you have got to stop holding stuff in. it's coming up to mother's day and if you be honest mother's day father's day are days a lot of us want to skip we're gonna talk about it in church because we want to act like every mama's been perfect every mama's been wonderful every father's been amazing no some of y'all mamas have been witches and have been quite evil and have been quite traumatic on you and your fathers have been absent and your fathers have been detrimental to your success i mean we want to be real and so mother's day comes up here's the truth and i'm gonna say it on sunday because i ain't scared of nobody and I don't think nobody's scared of me.

16:17 This Mother's Day, I want to argue some mothers don't need a Mother's Day card. Some mothers need to write a card to their children and apologize for things they've done. Mothers, mothers with the roses and the yellow and the pink and the orange. Mama, mama, you know I love you. And if you be honest, you cut through all of that stuff. Clean version. And you get to the real is some stuff that needs to be said between you, your mother, your father, your children, your siblings, your coworkers, your significant other, your boo, your baby, your ex, your friends, your former friends is stuff that needs to be said. I like this example from Psalm 13 because David is not just showing us how to talk to God and be honest. David is teaching us be honest, period. Because if you are honest, keep reading verse 3, verse 4, 5, and 6.

17:13 Take a good look at me, God, my God, I want to look life in the eye so no enemy can get the best of me or laugh when I fall on my face. Here it is, verse 5. I've thrown myself headlong into your arms. I'm celebrating your rescue. I'm singing at the top of my lungs. I'm so full of answer prayers. All right, David or whoever this is, they're going through it. They start off very vulnerable. They end talking about I'm singing at the top of my lungs. I'm throwing myself into your arms. I'm celebrating your rescue. I'm full of answer prayers. Maybe he got to verse 6 because he was honest in verse 1 through 4. And a lot of us will never get to the verse 6 of our lives because you keep lying in verses 1 through 4. Come here. Don't run. Don't run. Don't run. Don't run. God is trying to get you to your verse 6 where there can be a celebration but often there will be no celebration because there's not yet been a conversation. There will be no party of reconciliation because there first has not been a moment where you are honest about what that person has done that has offended you and hurt you.

18:22 And so ingredients to help your life, you got to guard your internal peace. how do you guard your internal peace stop suppressing the things that are that that need to be said between you and whoever it is sometimes is you needing to be honest with you sometimes is you needing to be honest with a neighbor or a friend or co-worker or a family member sometimes is you needing to be honest with god whatever it is i'm trying to tell you that the first ingredient to a happier life is you got to guard your internal peace Isaiah 26 verse 3 which is actually a prophetic chapter when you deal with that in this context it's not that Isaiah is saying God's going to keep you in perfect peace if you keep your mind stayed on him it is what will be said it is what the children of Israel will say when they are rescued from captivity they will be able to say God will keep you in perfect peace if you keep your mind stayed on him I'm talking about internal peace. Guard your internal peace. Fellowship, y'all already know I got a whole tattoo on my arm.

19:31 It's Hebrew shalom shalom. It is from Isaiah 26 verse 3. That's the tattoo. Hebrew shalom shalom. Peace, peace. Perfect peace in the King James version is translated in the Hebrew shalom shalom. It's peace twice. That's why I say peace, peace. But there will be no peace, peace. There will be no shalom shalom. There will be no perfect peace for you If you don't keep your mind, that word mind in Hebrew does not mean your medulla oblongata, your temporal lobe, your parietal lobe, your frontal lobe, or your occipital lobe. It has nothing to do with your brain. Your mind deals with your plans, your purposes, your pursuits, your desires, the essence of what you want out of life. If you keep your mind, your pursuits, your plans, your processes, your deepest desires in life on the Lord, on the Lord, on the Lord, that's where you find peace, peace, shalom, shalom, perfect peace. Can I help somebody tonight?

20:33 You want some internal peace. What are you thinking about? There are people in my life right now tonight who are flashing across my mind because I don't have any peace in that corner of my life because there's still a conversation I got to have. There's still something I need to say. I don't want to say it. I'm trying to avoid it. I wish I could leave it alone. But I'm robbing myself of peace because I keep robbing myself of mature conversation. Help me, Holy Ghost. And all what peace we often forfeit. Huh? It's a hymn. Oh, what needless pains we bear. All because we do not carry it into the conversation we're supposed to have with the person we've been running from.

21:20 Oh, what peace we have forfeited. You could have sleep better. You could dance lighter. You could sing more with more anointing. You could preach from a place of more power if you free yourself from the stuff you've been holding in. here's another scripture in Matthew 18 verses 15 I want to thank Willie for finding this one for me went on Google I thought it was because he was a biblical scholar it was just because he found it quickly because he went on Google either way it says if somebody offends you if another member of the church sins against you or goes and point out a fault when the two of you are alone if the member listens to you you have gained that one but if you are not listened to take one or two others along with you so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses if the member refuses to listen to them tell it to the church if the offender refuses to listen to the church let such a one be as a gentile or a tax collector which means somebody who still has some growing to do the jews were the prop were the predominant culture in the book of matthew he said just treat them like a gentile they they still got some growing to do we're not gonna cancel them but we just gonna you know push them off to the side they they're not there yet but do you see the effort that took place from verses 15 to verses uh 17 all right go to them all right if they didn't receive that all right bring two or three more let's have another conversation all right they didn't get that go to the church the assuming that the church has the mental and emotional and spiritual maturity to help because sometimes the worst thing you can do is bring some to the church because we so messy around here sometimes we we we we like scavengers we see something dead and we start picking uh-huh i'm not talking about fellowship i'm talking about another church down the street scavenger baptist church yeah we we like scavengers and and as soon as you smell blood smell mess smell sin smell a fault we just we just we just enjoy it and we tweet it and we share it and we and we send it in dms and we send it in private chats and we get the video of it and we pass it and we you know how we do but but but but what you're supposed to do

23:25 the bible says restore the person back you're supposed to be on a a journey of restoration and reconciliation that's all jesus is trying to say in matthew 18 don't don't let your first knee-jerk reaction be canceled you cancel you're blocked you cut off especially when there's been relationship there now some of these knuckleheads i see on social media that i don't know if they say the right thing on the wrong day or the wrong thing on the right day it doesn't matter it is a block ministry and I have a strong block ministry and a whole lot of us need to get a block ministry but when you have a relationship with people and there's love and there's journey and it's in this and you have shared intimate moments together and there has been vulnerability and there has been trust and there has been fun and there has been a blessing your first reaction should not be block and cut and delete your first reaction biblically is to have a conversation Listen, now whether you hear me or not Whether you believe me or not, that's on you But I'm trying to tell you, these are biblical principles For a happier life, stop suppressing Stop avoiding Write in the chat, stop suppressing And stop avoiding Stop suppressing and stop avoiding Say it with me, stop suppressing Stop avoiding Avoidance is a clear sign of anxiety That's all it is, suppressing is fear Anxiety is you trying to avoid Avoidance is you, anxiety has gotten the best of you Suppressing is always fear based And avoidance is always anxiety based You're worried about what they're going to say And that's some kind of fear And God has not given us a spirit of fear But of love of power and a sound mind So I don't know what you're scared of But listen here If they leave because you are honest about what you need If they cut you off because you are honest Then maybe it's the season for them to cut you off if anybody walks away because you're being honest about what you need, if they walk away because you're being honest about what you need

25:32 in order to have a flourishing, healthy relationship, is that the kind of person you want in your life? I can't be honest. I'm not cussing at you. I'm not ready to fight you. I'm not pulling out Vaseline, taking off earrings. we having a conversation not a confrontation a conversation because the difference of conversation and confrontation is the goal of confrontation is to win the goal of conversation is to understand so if you go to somebody honestly your family your life and have a conversation and they don't have the mature capacity to take what you got to say and they cut you off stop talking to you hmm at some point your goodbye may be a gift ka domin empata We've cut people off and we've blocked people and we've stopped having conversations with people.

26:52 And God, remind us tonight, it's not a holy thing because you created us to be in relationships. No man or woman is an island. You said in the book of Genesis, it is not good for the human to be alone. And so God, work on us so that we don't live a life where everybody is cut out of our lives because we don't have the maturity to have healthy, needed, necessary conversations. God, somebody tonight has suppressed so much down through the years and they are in a place of unhappiness. They're in a place of anger. They're in a season of even depression because of all they have suppressed. God I pray that you take us to therapy help us find counselors, help us find spiritual advisors help us find spaces and friends and safe social circles where we can be honest about the things that we've just suppressed way too long God some have been abused some have been deserted and neglected some have been abandoned some have been just deeply offended but god i pray that in this season of the church's life you would let reconciliation break out all over fellowship reconciliation break out all over our families reconciliation break out in our communities black and white gay and straight Thank you.

28:38 Republicans, Democrats Fundamentalists and liberals Protestants and Catholics Men and women Parents and children Exes and exes God I pray that wherever there's brokenness That you would send healing So that we can protect and guard Our eternal peace God we want shalom, shalom We want peace, peace We need perfect peace, but God, it can only happen if we do the work of keeping our minds, our plans, our pursuits, our desires stayed on you. God, teach us to trust you in the areas where we're fearful. Teach us to trust you in the areas where we're nervous so that we can become more mature and honor you. Give us a clean heart, oh God.

29:32 In Jesus' name we pray. Let everybody say amen. Amen and amen. Somebody thank God for the possibility of new seasons, restored relationships. Come on, right now on the virtual ship, lift those hands to God and say, God, I thank you that you're the God that heals. You're the God that mends. You're the God that brings things back together, but it starts in me. So lift those hands to heaven and say, work on me, Lord. Work on me, Lord. Work on me, Lord. Work on me, Lord. Come on, ask God where there's fear, replace it with peace. where there's resentment replace it with