The Responsibles, Part 2 - "Looking Back"

0:01 Hey, everybody. Andy here. Welcome to Your Move, where we help you make better decisions and live with fewer regrets. As a nonprofit organization, we rely on the generosity of our listeners. So if you have been positively impacted by this podcast, would you consider supporting Your Move with a tax-deductible donation? To give, just visit yourmove.is slash give. That's yourmove.is forward slash give. Thanks for considering. And now back to the show. I want to just start with a question. The answer is yes. It's a rhetorical question, so you don't have to answer out loud. But the question is this. Have you ever had to take responsibility for somebody else's mess? We can just start with this. If you've ever changed a diaper, yes, okay, a baby's diaper. If you've ever changed a toddler's diaper, that's like next level, right?

0:55 So yes, we've all at some level in our life had to take responsibility for somebody else's mess. But more to the topic of the series is this question. It's a longer question. Have you ever had to take responsibility for a mess resulting from somebody else's irresponsibility? Have you ever been penalized because of somebody did something and next thing you know, they're gone and you gotta pick it up? I think all of us have experienced this at work. You're on a team and somebody doesn't do their part, but the team has to make a presentation. And so you have to pick up their responsibility because you don't wanna look bad. You don't want the team to look bad. You give somebody an assignment, they don't do it. And suddenly you have to stop what you're doing and do what they were supposed to do because it just has to get done. I think this happens at work. It happens at home. It happens pretty much in any arena of life. And maybe you've experienced that. You feel penalized because of something somebody else did. And, but the thing is this, you don't blame a baby for their mess, but when adults act like babies, it's so irritating.

1:57 and it's irritating because, I mean, it's just, it's irresponsible because unlike a child, they actually have the ability, this is where the word comes from, they actually have the ability to be responsible. They have the ability not to create the mess in the first place and then they have the ability to own the mess once they create it and they have the ability to fix what they mess up, to clean up what they mess up. So it's just so irritating. Or at least if the mess can't be cleaned up, to acknowledge, okay, that's my mess. This is my fault that I did this instead of just walking away. Now, if you're not a Christian, I want to say something to you for just a minute to tune in. In fact, if you're not a Christian, I think you're really going to like this message more than the Christians. In fact, you may be glad you're not a Christian by the time this message is over. But let me just say something if you're not a religious person or specifically not a Christian. One of the irritating things about some Christians, not Jesus followers, but people who just believe stuff. One of the irritating things about some Christians is that they use God as a cover for their irresponsibility.

2:58 And this is so embarrassing to those of us who are trying to follow Jesus and represent Jesus on earth. And it goes something like this. It sounds like this. It's true. I messed up. I messed up. I've made some mistakes. By the way, let me talk about mistakes. A mistake is if you're going to someone's home and you take a wrong turn. That's a mistake. These are actual sins. but we don't like to use the word sense. We call them mistakes. We dumb it down. We feel better. So they say, yeah, I've messed up. I've made some mistakes, but God forgave me. That's in the past. All things are new and God doesn't want me to go back. God loves me. God wants me to move forward. He gave me a fresh start. And according to this version of Christianity, it's actually a perversion of Christianity as we're gonna see in a minute. But according to this version of Christianity, God gives all the Christians a divine release form where they are released from all prior responsibility of all their previous actions.

3:57 They just get to go forward with their life because God forgave them for all their actions, reactions, inactions. And the thing is about these Christians that use God as a cover, here's the other thing they do. They actually believe that God can't even remember their mistakes. but you can.

4:21 And if you're responsible for the consequences of their mistakes, you can. And they may believe God has forgotten all about it and God's given them a divine release form, but you don't feel released, do you? Because you're having to fix their mess and carry the responsibility that they're actually responsible for. And if that has been your experience with Christians, I just want you to know, I'm so sorry. Stay tuned. Okay, so today is part two of our series, The Responsibles. And essentially this whole series is about an invitation for everybody, everybody, Christian or non-Christian, an invitation to join a select group of, we're calling them superheroes, super citizens, super family members, men, women, even children and students who decided to own and to take responsibility for their lives. And joining this elite group of humans requires that we ask and answer the following question honestly.

5:19 And again, the easiest person to deceive is the person in the mirror. So we have to ask and answer this question honestly. And we have to ask and answer this question consistently. And the question is, am I taking responsibility for my life? Am I taking responsibility for my life, for my past actions, for my past reactions, and for my future obligations? In other words, are you taking full responsibility for the things that you are actually responsible for. Now, to be clear, we're not asking this question. We're not asking, am I a responsible person? You are a responsible person. The focus of our question, am I taking responsibility for my life is different. The focus of this question is not, are you paying your bills? You're paying your bills because that benefits you. It's not, are you going to work? Of course you're going to work, that benefits you. It's not, are you going to school? Of course, hopefully you're going to school because that benefits you. It's not those kinds of things.

6:12 This is the broader question. This is about past responsibilities and future obligations or future responsibilities. So the focus of today, or in light of the focus for today, I wanna drop back to that first long question I asked you up front, this question. Have you ever had to take responsibility for a mess resulting from somebody else's irresponsibility? And if you have, or maybe you're in the middle of it right now, you know how this feels. and it feels terrible. It feels helpless because there's a mess. Somebody has to deal with it and they have walked off and you are too responsible to walk off. So you're gonna stick around and clean up their mess because you're a responsible person and you feel like you don't have any choice and you kind of feel helpless. You feel frustrated, which I learned in counseling is the same thing as being angry.

7:04 I would tell my counselor, I'm frustrated. He'd say, no, you're angry. I'd say, no, I'm not, I'm just frustrated. He said, that is anger. I'm like, no, it's not. Okay, maybe it is. Okay, yeah. Anyway, so we feel frustrated, angry. You know what else? If you have to clean up somebody else's mess, you feel stuck and you feel sidetracked because you had your day planned and so-and-so, I won't make up bad names, they didn't do their part, so now I have to abandon my plans today to clean up their mess, and now I'm behind and I look irresponsible. Maybe it's worse than that. Maybe the mess somebody left for you, It didn't just take a day of your life. It required a season of your life. It's like they reached over and grabbed the steering wheel of your life and yanked you out of your lane into their lane and then got out of the car and said, now you drive, but you gotta drive my life because I'm out and you gotta take responsibility for what I'm ultimately responsible for.

8:04 Maybe you got stuck with financial obligations, legal obligations. maybe somebody left and now you're raising your children their children by yourself and meanwhile kind of playing this out this is where it really hurts meanwhile the irresponsible person is free they just kind of go on about their merry way because they got extra time and sometimes then now they have extra money and then they start over and in some cases they start a brand new family. And then insult to injury, they find God. And God brought someone new into their lives. And you're like, hey, what about your mess you left with me as they move on with their life? And they claim to be taking their cue from God, but they weren't. And they aren't taking their cue from God. They're taking their cue from Jelly Roll. Some of you are familiar with Jelly Roll.

9:02 Okay, actually one of my favorite singers. And I love this line from this song, that's on my playlist. He has two songs that I just love, but listen to this line, it's so powerful. He writes, I took the rear view off this old Ford, so I only see in front of me. I took the rear view off this old Ford, rear view mirrors off this old Ford, so I only see in front of me. And it's like the person that left you with a mess took the rear view mirrors off their life. and now they don't see you because you're in the past. And if that's your situation, I just want to say something to you. They did not find God. They just found an excuse and wrapped it with religion, wrapped it with a verse. Now, real quick, again, if you're not a Christian, this is so important. I know I say this all the time.

9:56 I don't, as a pastor, I don't have any right in the world to tell you how to live your life. So if you hear me saying you want to, and you don't, I have no right to tell you how to live your life or what to do if you're, if you're not a Christian. But I, I just, I do want to say this to you. If you've left someone with a mess to clean up or bills to pay that are your bills, if you're not doing what you expect others to do, if you're not practicing what you would preach, you're not practicing what you expect others to do. Here's the thing I'll say to you, then I'll move on. You're not a whole, I know this is offensive. You're not a whole person because you have left, you have left a piece of you behind you. And I don't know if you know this or not, but you'll figure it out by the time you're 40 or over 40. You can't actually leave your past behind you. It follows you and eventually it catches up with you.

10:52 and eventually you can't outrun it anymore. And so the wisest thing to do, it's gonna come nipping at your heels, at your conscience. The wisest thing you could do is to turn around and face it and acknowledge it and embrace it and own it. And that's a much better story to tell. The story that, you know what? I ran from my past. I was irresponsible. I created a mess. Other people had to clean up. And one day I heard some guy talk. I don't know who it was. I think it was at a church. I don't know. This is important. But for whatever reason, I decided to quit running and quit lying to myself. and I turned around and I took responsibility for my past. You see, that's just a better story to tell. And if you don't turn around and own it, here's what you're gonna do. You're just gonna lie to yourself and you're gonna lie to other people the rest of your life. And you know what that makes you? And I know it's so hard, you know, welcome to church. It makes you a liar for life. And you don't wanna be a liar for life.

11:47 So own it, okay? But that's just advice. You know, you don't have to do what I say. I don't have any authority. Meanwhile, if you're a Christian, it's a whole nother thing for us because as a Christian, we are partisans of or we are part of a kingdom. We're partisans of a king, that Jesus is a king. And he came and established his rule. And to participate in the kingdom of God is to submit to the rule of God as demonstrated through Christ in the gospels. And as members of this kingdom and as followers of a king, our king made it excruciatingly clear.

12:28 Forgiveness does not release us from our responsibility for our past. Forgiveness, God's forgiveness, which is amazing, unearned, undeserved, forgiveness does not release us from our responsibility for our past. In fact, it is the opposite. The whole idea of taking responsibility for your actions and taking responsibility for the shrapnel of your actions and taking responsibility for the messes that you created and the messes I've created is actually embedded in a word that has kind of become a religious word, but it doesn't need to be. It's embedded in the concept of repentance because repentance is, it has dawned on me that I've been thinking incorrectly and I'm going to embrace a new way of thinking, metanoia.

13:22 I'm gonna embrace a new way of thinking that's going to inform my actions. And so now I'm going to turn and I'm going to live in a different direction. And instead of running from and denying what I'm responsible for, I'm gonna turn and face and embrace what I'm responsible for. And I'm gonna own what's mine. That's what it means to repent. And here's the amazing thing. From the beginning, from the very beginning, God, from the very beginning, God has always instructed his people to take responsibility for the messes that they created. In fact, this was a central theme in all of ancient Israel's civil law that God gave to Moses to give to the people. I just wanna show you one little snapshot of this. It's so compelling and it's so convicting, but the point is, this isn't like just Christianity. this isn't like the advanced class. This is just basic life skills.

14:16 And even if you're not a religious person, you know this is true because when you're on the flip side, when you're on the receiving end, you want people to take responsibility for their messes so you don't have to. Here's what God communicated to Moses for the ancient people of Israel. Since the Lord said to Moses, say to the Israelites, any man or woman, and this is such an important phrase right here, any man or woman who wrongs another person in any way is guilty. I skipped a part. We're going to come back to it. Is guilty and must confess the sin they have committed. Now, the reason I want to pause on this statement, by the way, in the old covenant and the new covenant, this is the definition of sin. This is what a sin is. Anytime you wrong another person in any way, that is a sin, whether it's on a sin list or not. You know, sometimes people come to preachers and they say, Andy, does the Bible say such and such is the sin?

15:07 That's not even a good question. If it wrongs another person, it's a sin. If it's not good for him, it's a sin. If it's not good for them, it's a sin. If it's not good for her, defer. If it's not good for you, no can do, okay? Because anything that harms another person is a sin. That's what sin is. And so even in the old covenant, new covenant, it's all the same, but I skipped a part. Here's the part I skipped. The Lord God said to Moses, any man or woman who wrongs another person in any way and so is unfaithful to the Lord. And again, now we see a combination of ideas that seem a little bit strange. It's wait, wait, wait. You've harmed a man or woman and you've been unfaithful to the Lord. What's going on there? Well, again, this is a theme throughout the old covenant and the new covenant. That when you harm someone God loves, you're at odds with God. And again, I say this all the time. If you harm one of my children, don't invite me to lunch and say, no, no, that's between me and your son.

16:07 Yeah, I was treated your son unfairly. I said, you know, I trashed your son's reputation, but Andy, that's between me and your son. Let's be in you. Let's be friends. No, you can't be friends with me if you're hurting one of my kids. Well, this is God's perspective on the human race. You can't be good with God if you owe and you're out of sync with someone that God loves and it works the other way around. God loves you the same way. God's not gonna be okay with somebody that's mistreated you, which of course is the case because God, John tells us, John who knew Jesus and saw love face to face, that God is in fact love. If I sin against you or wrong you, God takes it personally. It's not just between me and you. Again, I can't be out of sync with you and be in sync with my heavenly father. And Jesus taught this as well. So back to this text. So what does a person do? What does a person do when they've wronged somebody else? This is so interesting. He goes on.

16:58 He says, under God's covenant with Israel, here's what they have to do. That person who's wronged another person in any way must make full restitution for the wrongly. Then they got to go back and pay back what they've taken or try to make up for what they did. To which, you know, I'm sure somebody came to Moses at some point and said, okay, wait, wait, wait. Okay, that seems extreme. What if I just go to the tabernacle? They didn't have a temple yet. What if I go to the tabernacle and I do one of those offering things like a sheep offering or a goat offering or, you know, and they're like a real cheap one with some grain or something. What can't I just go to the tabernacle and make things right with God? I don't want to go make things right with them because Moses, they don't even know who did it. They don't even know who did it. Now I'm about to out myself and Moses is like, no, you know, this isn't make things right with God and ignore them. These two go hand in hand. You have to go back and you have to pay back. But Moses wasn't done. Listen to how specific this got. Add, he says, you got to go back and, you know, add, I'm going to read the whole thing. They must make full restitution for the wrong they have done and add a fifth of the value to it and give it all to the person they have wronged. So you don't just go back and make restitution. He says, no, you got to pay back more than you took. This was just baked into their civil law. And again, if you're on the receiving end of being mistreated, this makes perfect sense to you. But when you're the mistreater, it's like, can I just pray a magic prayer and be forgiven and God forgives my sins?

18:24 No. The amazing thing about our heavenly father isn't that he forgives our, forgets our sin. The amazing thing is he doesn't forget and he still forgives. This is the relationship you've been invited into. And with that relationship comes the appropriate accountability to making things right with the people around us. In other words, God forgives sin, absolutely. And forgiven people take responsibility for the result of their sin, of their mess. centuries later, this bad man from the badlands shows up in the Judean Valley, John the Baptist, and he shows up and right central to his message and central to his preaching is the same concept. His message was this, produce fruit in keeping with, there's the word repentance, produce fruit in keeping with repentance. And so the religious leaders came to hear John the Baptist preach and all of Judea came to hear John the Baptist preach, thousands of people. And here's his message. He's like, look, don't give me this religious stuff anymore. Okay. You go up to the temple and you do your sacrifices, but you don't change. There's no fruit. If you're really going to be right with God, he's saying, I want to see it. You've turned to God, show me. You've returned to God, show me. Let's see it. If there's no fruit, there's no proof. I'm not buying it. Simply being a believer and simply going through the religious motions. If you are not producing fruit in keeping with that repentance, John says, it is fake repentance and God ain't buying it. And again, we shouldn't be surprised because when somebody apologizes to you for doing something and then does the same thing over and over and over, you're not buying it. Jesus followers, when we make a mess. We own it. We apologize. We make restitution. We say, what in the world can I do to make it up for you? And I realize I can't change the past, but if there's anything I can do, I want to own this.

20:24 So let me ask you, then I'll explain it a little bit. Is it possible you're lost? Is it possible that you're lost? Let me tell you what lost means, like you didn't know, but loss means you have a destination in mind but you're going the wrong way loss means you know where you want to end up but you're going the wrong way here's the point if your intent is to follow jesus not just be a christian not just be a believer if your intent is to follow jesus but you refuse to go back and take responsibility for your past you're going the wrong way. Jesus would say you're lost and your savior, your king came to save you from that. He came to save you from being incomplete. He came to save you from not being whole and you're not whole because you have left something. You've left something that belongs to you, behind you, and to move forward as his kingdom follower, you have to go back and get it and claim it and own it. So let me ask it this way. I know this is so heavy. I wasn't going to say this, but I'll say it now that I'm almost done. I dreaded this sermon. I don't usually dread sermons. I dreaded this one because it's so heavy. But the thing that compelled me to go there anyway is because on the other side of your decision to go back and own it is a freedom you will never experience any other way is a freedom that you don't even perhaps know exists because you've never been there and you've been lying to yourself and lying to the people around you for so long. You've been lying, telling that same story for so long. You've actually come to believe it.

22:20 but every once in a while, something dings your conscience, maybe like today, and you know, and your savior who loves you, this is not, listen, this is not punishment. This is freedom. This is becoming whole. This is what you were made for. Jesus calls it the abundant life. When our faith has feet and we're willing to do whatever the king asks us to do. So is it possible there's someone somewhere from your past who's hoping that you'll pay attention to this sermon? Are you taking responsibility for your life? Look, you can't change the past. You can't go back into a first marriage and make it right. You can't go back into somebody's childhood. You can't go back to that ex-employer. The guy doesn't even work there anymore. I mean, You can't go back and change the past, but look up here.

23:18 But even acknowledging to those people, even acknowledging to her, even acknowledging to him, even acknowledging to them. that you were responsible and that you shirked your responsibility and that you walked away or walked off and left them with a mess. Even acknowledging that to them may set them free to become whole and move forward with their life as well.

23:48 God's forgiveness doesn't release us from our responsibility. Look up here. This is the freedom part. God's grace and forgiveness are why we take responsibility for our life. He reconciled you with God. He made it so that you could be in sync with your heavenly father. And the logical response, the logical response to that kind of grace is to make things right with the people in our past, the people that we've mistreated. Jesus paid a debt he did not owe. The least we can do is to pay the debts to others that we do owe. This is what it looks like. This is baked in. This is what it looks like to follow Jesus. So, one last time today, are you taking responsibility for your past? What do you need to do now that you should have been doing all along? what do you need to do now that perhaps you should have done a long time ago and i know it's complicated if it wasn't complicated you would have already taken care of it but is there something you can do is there someone you need to call now i gotta be honest and fair there is an option to all this you can just stick with being christian believe in stuff it's way easier It is way more convenient.

25:20 But it doesn't change the world. It doesn't change communities. It doesn't heal families. It is not the way forward. It is the way of religion. And it is the way of hypocrites. And I don't want you to live that way. And you don't want you to live that way. And somebody out there on the other side of you may have the potential to be released from their anger and their bitterness if you'll just clean up or attempt to clean up what you messed up or take responsibility for your life and follow your king. and we will pick it up right there next time in part three of the Responsibles. So thanks for listening.

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