You’re One Decision Away From a Different Ending | John C. Maxwell

0:55 In the South, they say he out-punted his coverage. But I'm so glad to be with you at Life.Church, and I am going to talk today, teach on the subject Famous Failures, and it really does come out of a book that I just wrote that's just coming out right now on how to get a return on failure. And I've written 92 books, okay? That's no big deal. That's no big deal. All that means is you're old, okay? That's all it means. If you write 92 books, you're old. And I've written three books on failure. And the first book I wrote was Failing forward about 25 years ago, which became an instant bestseller. And then I wrote a book called Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn. And then this book on how to get a return on failure. And somebody asked me, he said, well, why have you written three failure books? And it's because I do really believe that failure is a spiritual gift that I have. And a lot of people don't have it, but I'm just good at it. You know what I mean? Some people are not good at failure. Some people are really good at failure. And so I try to help people get really good at failure. And my first book, Failing Forward, let me tell you how I wrote that one. Margaret and I were going to go on a cruise to see the fjords of Norway. About a month before we were going on the cruise, I was looking at my calendar and I saw that it was a two-week cruise to see the fjords of Norway. And I thought to myself, seems a little long. Just a little long. I mean, God created the heavens and earth in six days. And we're taking two weeks to see the fjords of Norway. So I thought, we need to talk about it. So we had a really good conversation about the two-week cruise. And then we took a two-week cruise to see the fjords of Norway. Anybody that has ever been married long knows you got to compromise, okay? And we did a deal, and the deal was I'll do the two-week cruise on the fjords of Norway if she would let me write a book so I could get something done in between the

3:02 fjords. You know what I'm talking about. And so I took, and I write with a four-color Bic 99-cent Bic pen on a legal pad. And so I took about six legal pads, about four pens. I literally write with a table like this, the whole deal. And we had this wonderful room with a lot of glass, so that, you know, on the ship we could see the fjords of Norway. And so I'm writing the book Failing Forward, and every once in a while the captain would stop and say, you know, to the left is a fjord. And I'd stop writing. And I'd go, there it is. Yeah.

3:40 He's right. Yeah. Yeah, that's a fjord. A little while longer, we stop again. He says, to your right is a fjord. I stop riding and I look. I said, wow, he's two for two. Gosh, this is really good. Yeah, isn't that something? Wow. Yeah, that's something. You know what, you know what, baby? That fjord looks just like Thank you.

4:31 That's yours. two week vacations over. I have 224 legal pages written. I have my book done with a rubber band around it. That's my manuscript. Margaret is carrying it off the ship. We're about halfway off the ship. She said, John, I love the book. I said, thanks, baby. I said, what do you love about the book? Oh, she said, you're so honest about your failure. She said, you just talk about losses and misses in your life. On every page, you're just an open book and the reader's going to, they're just going to identify with you. You're really going to help them. I said, well, thanks a lot. I'm glad you like it. She said, there's only one problem. I said, well, what is it? She said, you didn't get all your failures in the book. She said, I see a series. 101, 201, 301.

5:32 And that's exactly what's happened. I've written three books on failure. And I tell you, I'm getting better every time. And I almost, not quite, I almost have all my failures in this book. There's probably a book four coming up. Here's what I know about failure. Everybody fails. How many of you have failed at least one time today? we all fail and we not only all fail but no one really enjoys it when you ask somebody have you had a great day they say oh my gosh awesome day I just messed up and failed the entire day had a bunch of losses and a bunch of misses you know you just take them straight to therapy and what's interesting is when people talk openly and honestly about their failure there's a connection with it because we all fail and it's kind of like okay I'm not abnormal good people fail smart people fail in fact Charles Schultz who was the creator of Peanuts cartoon he said that the success of his cartoons was based on the fact that Charlie Brown would never be successful I mean Charlie Brown is never going to be able in the fall to kick the football. And he's never going to be able to fly the kite. He's never going to get a date with the redhead. And that's why people loved Charlie Brown. And we all have some of that in us. And today in the famous failures teaching I want to do, we're going to talk about people in the Bible.

7:18 And when I say famous failures, the Bible is loaded with dozens and dozens of men and women who fell short. I only have time for two, but we're going to look at two of them that will just help us understand that we can fail forward and we can come back. Let me just put it this way. If you want to look at a list of the longest mess ups, you don't need to look in a mirror. Look in the Bible. Because when you look in the Bible, you're going to see that there's a woman from Samaria who has tried five husbands. And you're going to see that Gideon, who literally put an idol on the very place that God called him to do a great work. And oh my gosh, I mean, Sarah, who has had a lifetime with God doing miracles in her life. And yet when he tells her about another miracle, she just laughs at him. And oh, we got David, the adulterer and, you know, Eve, the apple picker. Oh my God, we got Zacchaeus, the crooked tax man. You see, before you tally up all your failures, losses, misses, and sins, count theirs.

8:31 And before you throw the towel, before you throw the towel in on yourself, look at the list of the people in the Bible who failed. And you're going to see that these people not only had some famous failures, but they had some amazing comebacks. That although everybody knows about their losses and misses, what's beautiful about the Bible is we find that they had some divine comebacks in their life. So you're ready to go. I know you're ready to go. I know you can hardly wait to say, which one of the failures is John going to talk about? Because right now in your mind, you're thinking about some too. And the first one I'm going to give you, I think, it's going to be a surprise. Because if I ask you to pick him out, I don't think he would be at the top of this list, but he was a pretty big mess. Jonah. I call Jonah the Old Testament prodigal. And I call him the Old Testament prodigal because when you look at the life of Jonah, honestly, you know, he did his own will instead of the father's will. He just messed up big time.

9:39 and yet when you look at the life of Jonah, there's something in the scripture that just grabs my attention. It'll grab yours also and here it is. If Jonah could come in today and just share with us what he learned about failure and what God taught him about failure, he would say to us, God will give you a second chance. He'll give you a second chance. And I know that because there are 12 amazing words in the Bible that says, then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time. Wow. A second time. He blew the first time. God said, Jonah, I'm going to come back and give you another chance. You see, Jonah just made a bunch of bad decisions. I mean, God said to go to Nineveh, and Jonah headed 2,000 miles the other way.

10:38 I would call that disobedience. God said go by land and Jonah decided to go by sea God said go east sailed west Jonah says arise and go and Jonah went down and to the bottom of a ship and God said preach and Jonah went to sleep and God said live for others and Jonah chose to live for himself he was a nasty boy. I mean he was just determined to do his thing and not do God's thing.

11:12 And God watched him do it. And then he gave him a second chance. You see a second chance to me means three things. And I think you'll connect with this. A second chance means to me that the first time was lost. The only reason I have to have a second chance is because I blew the first chance. I can still remember when I was just a young author, just beginning to write, and I was filing material ferociously because I knew I needed to have material to write books. And I think it was my second book that came out. I was living in San Diego at the time, and I had a wonderful friend that you would know, many of you would know, because he's a great Bible teacher, David Jeremiah. And David was a good buddy of mine.

12:05 And so every month we met, and we just had a long lunch, and it was just a wonderful time. And I can still remember, he came one day to our lunch with my new book that I had written. And I was so excited. I thought, oh my gosh, he's got my book, and he's going to want me to sign it. And back then, that was kind of a big deal. You know what I mean? My mother was the only one who had bought my books. And so to sign it to someone else was kind of a nice thing to do. And so I'm all kind of excited about it. And he sits down and says, I got your book. And I said, how do you like it? He always said, I think it's good. And then he said, he took me to a certain chapter. He said, where did you get the material for this chapter? and I said oh my gosh David I don't really remember I just file as fast as I can file and he said well you got it from me it's it's my material in fact you got it from a sermon I preached and he said you didn't give me any credit you didn't talk about the context of it at all and I could see that I had hurt him and he's a beautiful friend.

13:19 And my hurt just went big time and I thought, how can I express my sorrow? And I said, David, I'm so sorry. I'm a rookie at this. I'll get this. I'll go to the publisher immediately. I'll get this taken out of the book and I'm just, I'm doing everything I can to climb back up and to quote his good graces and I'm just so sorry. Could you forgive me? And I'll never forget that conversation that day because he smiled real big time. And he said, yeah, he said, totally forgiven.

13:54 Totally forgiven. He said, I won't bring it up again. I just knew that it was an accident. He said, I knew you were young. And he said, I just, you just want to be more careful. And I said, trust me, I've got careful down now. You know what I mean? I got it. And we had some of the most beautiful years of fellowship. But just one thing I want you to know, every time I was with David, I would look at him and I would say, he gave me a second chance. He just gave me a second chance. And when we hear the second time, it means we didn't do it good the first time. And aren't you glad when you think of people who love you and forgive you and say, I'll give you another shot at this. And the second thing it means to me is the fact that grace is needed.

14:53 You know, we talk all the time about justice is what we get, what we deserve, but we all know grace is what we get that we don't deserve. We don't deserve forgiveness. Hey, we don't deserve a second chance. Grace is always needed when we do wrong. But I want to make sure we all understand today, grace is always needed when we do right also. Grace is always needed because we're only saved by grace. We're not saved by what we do right. So when sometimes I think people, they think, well, I just do good things or I try to do good things and so I don't need grace. We just need grace. It reminds me of, I love the cute story of the guy who, he dies and he goes to heaven and he's meeting St. Peter and he's talking to him at the gate. And so St. Peter says, well, it's going to take a thousand points for you to get in.

15:56 So he said, what have you done? And the guy said, well, you know, I went to church every Sunday. And so, oh my gosh, he said, that's 25 points. and so now the guy says well I also oh my gosh he said I uh oh I I tithe I I'm a tither I gave 10% of my income he said that's good too he said that that'll be 25 points now the guy's kind of just getting a hair desperate he said well now he said I I also want you to know I I taught a bible study I taught a bible study and beat says you know that's good that's 25 points the guy's starting to get desperate now. And he said, well, I said, I did some wonderful things in my community. And he said, okay, that's good for 25 points. Now the guy knows he's shot completely. He's way below that. He's got 900 points. He's a long way from 1,000 points. He said, he's down, he's desperate.

16:49 He said, well, oh my gosh, what else can I say? He said, the only way I'm ever going to get into heaven is by the grace of God. And Peter says, that's 900 points. Come on in. Yeah. Come on in. Wow. Aren't you just grateful for grace? Wow. The third thing that Jonah teaches us here when God comes back to him a second time is that we can make a better choice. I love that. He came back to him a second time because he said, Jonah, you didn't really have a good day the first day. and so I'm going to give you another shot just to have a good day and and you know we don't we don't always get what we want but we do get what we choose and so Jonah chose unwisely and he was getting a lot of stuff that he didn't want to have in his life I was mentored for several years by John Wooden who was the great coach at UCLA and one of the first things he taught me was this little just a simple little poem he said John he said there's a choice you have to make in everything you do. So keep in mind that in the end, the choice you make makes you. And how true that is.

18:13 And so when we think of that second time God comes back to us, it reminds me of this other little phrase that though you cannot go back and make a brand new start, my friend, you can make a brand new start today and have a brand new end. And so Jonah, the Old Testament prodigal, he just says, look, let me tell you something. When you fail and mess up, God will give you a second chance. Aren't you glad that's the kind of God that we serve? A second chance. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. And then, oh my gosh, we got to talk about failure. I'll bet when I said famous failures, I'll bet many of you in the audience picked this one. Peter.

19:03 You know, Peter would say to us with our failures that God will give you hope. He'll give you hope. You know the story. The Bible indicates that Pete was the leader of the group of the disciples. Kind of big football player, you know. Jesus looked at him and called him Rocky, you know. Just, you know, he just, he had it. He had it.

19:32 But this very strong leader, at the most important hour in Jesus' life, just messed up really big time. And you know that, you know the story that they're in the upper room and Jesus looks at Peter and says, you're going to deny me. And Pete says, no, no, no, no, I'm not. Now, because I am so attracted to Peter and I identify in so many ways with him, I've really done a little bit of diving into this story. And I think that there were three reasons that Peter failed. And I think all three of them apply to me. I think all three of them probably apply to you. So let me give them to you quickly. First of all, I think he failed because he placed himself spiritually above the other disciples. I really think Pete thought he was a little better.

20:29 You know, just because you're the leader of the pack doesn't mean you're the best. And I just think he just was a little bit superior. And in verses 31, 33 in the New NLT, it says, on the way Jesus told them, this is when they're coming to the upper room, tonight all of you will desert me. But Peter declared, even if everyone else deserts you, I will never desert you. Jesus, I'm so sorry. I can't give an account for those boys. But it's okay. It's all right. Jesus, got you covered. Got you covered. Those another 11, they could be a little bit. But I just want you to know, the Rocky. I'll be there he felt a little spiritually superior and may I just say that's a dangerous place for any of us to be very very dangerous place to be I think the second reason he failed is I think he thought he knew himself better than Jesus did don't you?

21:50 I think he was really looking at Jesus and I think he was just saying, to be honest with you, Jesus, I know you think you know me. Just trust me on this one. You're a good man. You are a good man.

22:13 I know me. I know. About that time you want Rocky music to arise. You know, he has to go climb the steps at Philadelphia at the library. You know what I mean? He's got to, and I know he said that because Jesus replied, I tell you the truth, Peter, this very night before the rock rooster crows, you will deny three times that you even knew me. No, Peter insisted. even if I have to die with you I'll never deny you Lord, you're doing okay you're okay let's worry about the other 11 it's me got you covered got you covered i think the three third reason he failed was he felt that he was stronger than he really was boy i i see myself in all three of these because there there have been so many times when i just thought i had it and i didn't It's a very humbling thing to just kind of feel like you're gonna pull it off and you don't pull it off.

23:26 That you'll say yes and instead you say no. Jesus said in the garden to Peter, your spirit is willing, but your body is weak. And sure enough, when he was pressured by a crowd of people, he does what he says he never will do. and then it says, right when the rooster crowed, the Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Oh my gosh. Can you imagine? The rooster crows, the Lord sees him, knows what has happened. I can't imagine how he felt when he saw the eyes of Jesus and he knew that everything he said he would do, he didn't do. And every time he picked himself up to look good, he now has fallen flat on his face.

24:21 Gosh. you know disappointment is failing to live up to expectations discouragement is losing courage when you do and despair is losing hope that's why C.S. Lewis in Screwtape Laters said that Satan's strategy is to get Christians preoccupied by their failures he said from there on the battle is won and I'm telling you Pete lost hope, but I know he lost hope because he did what every person does that loses hope. He leaves. He wants to be alone. He goes to the lake. He says, you know what? I think I flunked fishers of men. I think I better go back to doing what I do really well. I think I better go back to fishing for fish. And here's what's incredible.

25:15 Just incredible. Jesus says, I'm gonna go find Peter. Listen to me. When you lose hope and when you give up and when you kind of want to get alone by yourself, and you've disappointed yourself and you've disappointed God. he'll come looking for you. He'll come looking for you.

25:49 Oh, he'll come looking for you. I know that. I know that because in the story of the shepherd, Jesus said there were 99 sheep in the pen and the shepherd leaves the 99. Why? Because there's one lost and he's going after that loss and he's going to seek that loss until he finds it. You see, Jesus will always leave the lost. Or he'll always, I'm sorry, Jesus will always leave the found so he can find the lost. He'll come, he's coming after you whether you like it or not. He's coming after you. And Jesus gets to the lake, he's doing a little fish fry for the boys, and they're coming in on the shore. And it's interesting because it talks about the smell of charcoal. And of all the senses, smell is the one that you remember the most.

26:49 And there's only two times in the gospel that charcoal is mentioned. One was Peter was warming himself by a charcoal fire when he denied Jesus. And now he comes back and he sees Jesus again. And he's right back at the charcoal fire. Wow. There's a whole teaching there. There's a whole teaching. I don't have time for that teaching. Craig's going to come and get me. I don't have time for that, but I'm going to tell you there's a whole different teaching. It's just like the children of Israel when they wandered in the wilderness for 40 years, when they had to go over into Canaan land, they had to go right back to the same place where 40 years earlier they didn't go. He won't let you pass the stuff that you need to see before you connect. And so Jesus looked at him and you know he said, Peter, do you love me?

27:41 And Jesus used the word agape love, the highest divine love. And Peter answered by a love that is lower than agape love, a brotherly love, phileo. So when Jesus said, do you agape love me, Peter? Peter says, I phileo love you. And Jesus asked him the second time, but do you, Peter, do you love me? Do you love me with the divine love? Do you love me with an agape love? And Peter says, Jesus. it's just phileo. It's not been proven to be agape. It's just phileo.

28:23 Do not miss what I'm about to say. Before the denial, Pete would have been first to say, I agape you all over the place. But now he has tasted failure. He's so disappointed. He can't measure up to that. oh, in his own self he thought he could measure up, but now he can't. And so he's coming under agape and he's phileoed. And here's what's absolutely beautiful. The third time Jesus looks at him and says, okay, Pete. Let me ask you one more time. Do you phileo love me?

29:08 Jesus came down to where Peter was. He looked at Peter with his incredible, unconditional divine love and said, okay, I got it right now. It's a standard too high for you. It's okay. It's okay. It's just like he comes to our house, our door of our house to knock and ask if he can come in. He says, I'll come to where you are. I'll find you. I'll go down to Phileo. And as soon as he said that, Peter hugged him and Peter loved him. And all of a sudden, Peter, he's connected back with him. And by the way, if Peter can come back from failure and Jesus asked him to come back, I just want you to know that we can come back too. We can come back too. And today, honestly, we can either try to come back on our own or we can have a divine comeback.

30:12 Jodah needed a divine comeback. God spoke to him a second time. Peter, he needed a divine comeback. And that's for you. That's for me. That's for all of us. You see, the word hope appears 81 times in the Bible, one time before the resurrection. 80 times after the resurrection. It's our hope. It's everything for us.

30:36 I closed the lesson by going back to the reason I wrote this book. I had a conversation maybe eight or 10 years ago with a very successful business person. And he was, I wouldn't even, I won't give him your name. his name because you would know, many of you know his name. He's a multi-billionaire. And I was talking to him about building this business. And he was very open about his failures and his losses and his decisions that weren't that good. For about 20 minutes, I mean, I knew him, but for about 20 minutes, it's kind of like, just let me open up and be honest with you and tell you where I am. It's so vulnerable. So when it was done, I looked at him and I said, let me ask you a question.

31:30 As you look at your failures, which one of those failures would you like to go back and do over? And his answer was the catalyst for the book. His answer surprised me because when I asked him, which ones do you want to go do over? He said to me, none of them. I said, you're kidding me. If you could go back and erase some of those failures,

31:58 you're not going back. He said, no, because he said two reasons. If I erase my failures, I erase the lessons I learned. I erase the lessons I learned. And he said, trust me, John, the lessons I learned have so much more valuable than the failures I had. And he said, secondly, I erased the failures. I would lose my character because I developed my character in the valley, climbing out of the ditch. I learned resiliency and adversity. And so he said, I'm not erasing any of those failures. I'll live with the lessons. I'll live with the character. That's not grace, but that's what Jesus does for us in our divine comebacks.