Cultivating Contentment in the Home | Part 1

1:12 So many homes really are a swamp of discontent and the mosquitoes of strife and arguments are breeding and constantly nagging at us. And we have people today who are rather than getting to live, they're living to get. And Madison Avenue has done a good job on us. Madison Avenue has given us a real case of the wants. And we have the idea that in order to be happy, we have to have certain things. Madison Avenue tells us, you deserve the best. You've got it coming to you. And if you get these things, then you'll be gloriously happy like all of the pretty faces on television. But you know and I know that many families really because of this are financial time bombs getting ready to explode. Well we have a picture of a contented family here in Psalm 128 and there are only six short verses.

2:11 Let's read them all. Blessed is everyone that feareth the Lord, that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labor of thine hands. Happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house. Thy children, like olive plants, round about thy table. Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord. The Lord shall bless thee out of Zion. Thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life. Yea, thou shalt see thy children's children and peace upon Israel. Well, we're talking about contentment. What is contentment? May I give you a definition of contentment? Contentment, here it is, is an inner sufficiency that keeps us at peace in spite of outward circumstances. Now actually in the New Testament the word contentment has the idea of being self-contained.

3:17 You remember Paul said when he was in that Philippian jail, I've learned in whatsoever state I am therewith to be content. The idea actually means I'm self-contained. I don't have to look at circumstances to find my peace. When the space shuttle goes up they put everything on board that people are going to need because there's no 7-Eleven in the neighborhood up there. It is self-contained. It has everything on board. Now a Christian, a person who has the Lord Jesus Christ in his or her heart, has that contentment, that self-containment. Now let me say this about contentment, however. Contentment is not complacency. It is not being laid back. It is not being self-satisfied. Many of us need to get busy. There's so much room for improvement. There's so much more that we could be, should be. And contentment does not mean learning to do without possessions only.

4:18 You can have possessions and be content. You can not have possessions and be content. Remember what the Apostle Paul said? I've learned in whatsoever state I am therewith to be content. I've learned to abound. And there's nothing wrong with abounding. Friend, if you're abounding today, if you've got plenty, I'm so grateful for you. That's wonderful. But just be content with it. I've learned to abound. I've learned to abase. But I've learned in whatsoever state I am, good or bad, rich or poor, I have learned to be content. Now the Bible is not against your having things. As a matter of fact, the Bible says, it is the Lord thy God that giveth thee power to get wealth. the Bible says God takes pleasure in the prosperity of a servant and every good gift and every perfect gift comes down from above from the father of lights in whom there's no bearableness the shadow of turning so it doesn't take poverty to learn contentment it doesn't take riches to learn contentment but we must learn contentment remember in that passage of Scripture in Philippians chapter 4 verse 11 Paul says, For I have learned in whatsoever state I am therewith to be content.

5:42 Alright, may I give you three things that you need to learn if you'd have family contentment? Because friend listen to me now. If there's not contentment at home you've got industrial strength problems. I mean the devil had rather hurt you at home than any place else. Because if you hurt at home you'd just hurt all over. And if you're home, as I say, is a swamp of discontent, you have got real problems. Number one, let's learn what destroys family contentment. The Bible says there in the Ten Commandments, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor's. Now here in the Ten Commandments, the last of these ten is, Thou shalt not covet. It's a very interesting commandment. Before I look at that for just a moment, let me say this, that the Ten Commandments were given primarily to the family. Did you know that? God gave the Ten Commandments and He said, Now dads, teach these to your sons and grandsons that you'll have a happy family.

6:48 And God gives all of these nine laws for living, and then God sums it up with the last one, Thou shalt not covet. Now why did God put that last? Because it sums up all of the others. All of the other commandments deal with actions. But this last one deals with attitude. Now all of the others deal with deeds. But this last one deals with desire. What's in your heart? Covetousness. What is covetousness? Well we told you what contentment is. Covetousness is unlawful desire that comes out of discontent. Actually, this particular commandment deals with the heart. Now, let me tell you why covetousness is so bad. Now, number one, it's so deceiving.

7:44 Covetousness is very deceptive. Francis Xavier, a great Roman Catholic theologian, said this. He said, I have listened to thousands and thousands of confessions. Never one time have I ever heard anyone confess the sin of covetousness. It's interesting, isn't it? The Apostle Paul was a very righteous man. He lived a life of excellence before he got saved. He was doing well. One day the Apostle Paul had the Ten Commandments out. And he was checking them off. Thou shall have no other gods before me. He said, I don't do that. Thou shall not make any graven images. I don't do that. Thou shall not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain. I don't do that. Honor your father and mother. Yes, I do that. Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy.

8:37 Yes, sirree. Don't steal. I don't. Don't kill. I don't. Don't commit adultery. Never have. Boy, what a good boy am I. He said, I was just doing real good. I was doing super good. Till he said, I got to the last commandment. And I read that one, and it wiped me out. Listen to how he said it in Romans 7, verse 7. What shall we say then? Is the law sin? God forbid. I had not known sin, but by the law. That is, the law is what peeled me back and showed me that I was a sinner. For I had not known lust. Now lust means unlawful desire, except the law had said, thou shall not covet. Paul said, I would have given myself an A until I got down to this last commandment. And it said, thou shall not covet. I want to tell you something, folks.

9:29 It is very debasing. It reveals how wicked our hearts are. Now put it in your margin on Mark chapter 7, beginning in verse 21. Jesus is talking. And he's talking about your heart and my heart. And he says, for from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts. Now, these things come out of our heart. Now listen, evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts. Pretty bad list, isn't it? And notice the next thing, covetousness. Notice the company that covetousness keeps. Let me read it again. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornication, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, and evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile the man. Now God just turns His X-ray into our hearts and He says all of these things are in the human heart. They were born in our heart. If you ever eat an apple and find a wormhole, don't worry there's no worm in the apple. The wormhole is not there for the worm to get in but for the worm to get out. The worm was hatched in the blossom. The egg is there in the blossom and the worm finds its inception there inside the apple and eats its way out.

11:00 These things that come out of our heart, they were there, we were born with them. The Bible says we are by nature the children of wrath. Did you know little children are covetous? Prove it. Take any little child, put him in a room surrounded by 15 toys. He'll be playing with one. Let your neighbor come over to visit. Put her little baby on the floor. And he'll go over and pick up one of those toys and this kid will drop the one he's playing with and go over there and bop that kid and take that toy away from him. We are absolutely by nature covetous. I, me, mine, we want it for ourselves. And where does it come from? Jesus said in John 8 verse 44, You are of your father the devil, and the lust of your father ye will do. How did Satan become Satan? He coveted the place that God had. He said, I want to be like the Most High. I want the throne of God. I will exalt my throne above the stars of God. How did He encourage Eve to sin? Through covetousness. Take that which was not hers.

12:01 She's surrounded in a garden, a beautiful garden, but there's one piece of fruit that she didn't have. And He said, you go ahead and take this. I was reading an article about some MBA students at prestigious Duke University. And they asked these students in order that they might teach them more, these MBA students going into business, what do you want to learn? How do you want us to teach you? Let me just quote from the article. For several years MBA students at Duke University's Fuqua School of Business were asked to write a personal strategic plan. The question posed to them was, what do you want to be when you grow up? With few exceptions they wanted three things, money, power, and things. Very big things including vacation homes, expensive foreign automobiles, yachts, and even airplanes. They were primarily concerned with their careers and the growth of their financial portfolios. Their personal plans contain little room for family, intellectual development, spiritual growth, social responsibility, or more effective management. Their mandate to the faculty was, teach me how to be a money-making machine. Give me only the facts, tools, and techniques to ensure my instantaneous financial success. Well, I can promise you one thing. If they got that instantaneous financial success they would not be satisfied. The Bible says, He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver.

13:35 Listen to me and don't forget this. A discontented man is never rich. And a contented man is always rich. A discontented man, I don't care how much he has, he's never rich. A contented man is always rich. And somebody who is not content with what he has will not be content with what he would have. And to whom little is not enough, nothing is enough. Covetousness is wrong. Now I'm not saying that it is wrong to have godly ambition. I'm not saying it's wrong to have things. But covetousness is so deceptive, it is so debasing, and friend it is so destructive. Now this verse I really would like for you to turn to, 1 Timothy chapter 6. classic passage on family contentment. 1 Timothy chapter 6.

14:29 And let's begin to read in verse 6. But godliness with contentment is great gain. That's really the bottom line of all that I have to say today. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. Somebody said you never saw a hearse with a U-Haul behind it. And having food and raiment, that's just something to eat and something to wear, let us therewith be content. That's all you have to have. That's all you have to have. You can't go around naked and you've got to eat. Jesus didn't even have, He said, foxes have holes and birds have nests. I don't have a place to lay my head. But He wasn't discontent. Having food and clothing, let us therewith be content. But now watch this, verse 9. But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition.

15:31 For the love of money is the root of all evil, which while some coveted after, there's our word, they have erred from the faith and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. Now that doesn't say that they that are rich. The Bible is not against riches. Abraham was rich. David was rich. Solomon was rich. Joseph of Arimathea was rich. But it says they that will be rich. What does that mean? It means that is their dogged determination. Just like these students that do. That is what I want. I have set my course to be rich. When you do that, you're living on dangerous ground. Ever so often, a man speaking in a university or high school will give a baccalaureate speech or whatever. And he'll give this advice, trying to get the kids to be ambitious.

16:27 And he'll say something like this. Now, young people, make all the money you can just so you make it honestly. That sounds like good advice. That's terrible advice. Why? Because nobody has a right to make all the money he can. Because if you're making all the money you can you're going to be making money when you ought to be doing something else. You're going to be making money when you ought to be spending time with your wife and family. You're going to be making money when you ought to be sleeping. You're going to be making money when you ought to be soul winning. You're going to be making money when you ought to be worshiping. There are a lot of people who are making all the money that they can. And when they're making all the money that they can what are they doing? They're putting things first. And when you put things first you know what that is? It's idolatry. Anything you love more, serve more, desire more, fear more, value more than God is an idol. Now folks, when you are guilty of idolatry you are guilty of something terrible. Listen, Jesus said in Luke chapter 16 and verse 13, No servant can serve two masters.

17:25 Well that's wrong. No servant can serve two masters. For either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will hold to the one and despise the other. And if you're wondering what two masters he's talking about, he said, you cannot serve God and mammon. Mammon is just another word for things. And then Jesus said in Matthew chapter 6 and verse 33, Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you. God will not work in second place. When you put God in second place, that is idolatry. And that's the reason the Bible calls covetousness idolatry. We have, in God we trust on our money, but we have me first written in our hearts. Let me give you a verse that proves beyond the shadow of any doubt that covetousness is idolatry. Colossians 3 verse 5. Mortify, that means put to death, therefore your members which are upon the earth, fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness which is idolatry. Now remember, covetousness is a very deceitful thing.

18:31 Many of us would not say that we're covetous. But covetousness, according to Paul here in this passage to Timothy, is like an octopus. It just wraps its tentacles around you and drags you down. Many people get their identification by what they own, what they possess.

18:52 A psychiatrist asked this question one time. if I am what I possess and I lose those things, then what am I? What am I? If I am what I possess and if I lose those things, then what am I? Who am I then? I heard about a man who loved gold. I mean, he just loved it. He had an inordinate affection for gold. Finally, he got a lot of gold and he loved it. And so he put down a golden colored carpet, painted the walls parchment color, got yellow drapes, got a gold colored bedspread. He bought him some yellow pajamas, everything. He just loved gold. Everything was gold all around. But then he got sick. He came down with, would you believe, yellow jaundice. You know what yellow jaundice is?

19:44 Turns you yellow. And there he was up in his bedroom. His wife called the doctor and said, doctor, he's upstairs. The doctor went up to examine him, came back down with a bewildered look. his wife said well how is he said I don't know I couldn't find him People who get lost in these things can't find themselves. Now, folks, this is what destroys family contentment. And that is covetousness, unlawful desire. Not wrong to have things, but unlawful desire, a spirit of dissatisfaction. Number two, let's think about what defines family contentment. We've talked about what destroys it. What defines family contentment? Well, look in Psalm 128. There are three things. Number one, faith for the family. Faith for the family. Look in verse 1, Blessed is everyone that feareth the Lord, that walketh in His ways. The secret of satisfaction of true contentment is God Himself. To tell the man on the street that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the secret of satisfaction, he would laugh at you. That's the last thing he would believe would give him satisfaction. But let me give you some verses and jot them down because, hey folks, these are great for your children, family worship. These are great for you to put on your refrigerator door. Hebrews chapter 13 verse 5. Now remember we're talking about contentment. Listen to this, let your conversation be without covetousness. This is Hebrews 13, 5.

21:22 The word conversation literally means behavior. Let your behavior be without covetousness. And be content. Listen, be content with such things as ye have. For he hath said, that's God now, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. All right. I'm telling you, the first secret of family contentment is God himself. The psalmist said in Psalm 73, verses 25 and 26, Whom have I in heaven but thee? And there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart faileth, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. And then remember the scripture we read in 1 Timothy chapter 6 and verse 6, Godliness with contentment is great gain.