Every Word Builds | Courteney Bence

0:33 My name is Courtney, and I am here in my dad's place this morning. He's with our Orange County campus out in California. But I just want to welcome all of our other incredible campuses, Gwinnett, Spartanburg, Midtown, Alpharetta, Brazelton, Metro Reentry, Haystay. I got to take a big breath. Hayes State, Whitworth, Hall County, Phillips State Prison, Hall County Jail, Arendelle State Prison, and brand new Jackson County Correctional Institute. Welcome to church this morning. We're so grateful for you at all of our incredible campuses. And here in Gainesville, good morning.

1:15 We almost could have not been here this morning. How many of you dropped your kids off at the chapel? Let's just say a word of prayer for the chapel this morning. Lord, it's such a beautiful place, God. Just keep it that way. So Friday night, I got a call around one o'clock in the morning that a fire had broken out in our Connections Lounge in one of the closets. And the sprinkler system, nobody was here. The sprinkler system went off and it ended up flooding. And thank God it went off. That's a miracle in itself. If not, we would be sitting here in ash and soot this morning. The whole building could have burned down. But water went down and it flooded the connection line and it flooded Kid Pack. And our incredible first responders, the firefighters and the police showed up. Can we, is there any first responders in the room?

2:11 Can you wave at me? Thank you. We're grateful for you. and my favorite first responder is my mama because she never stands up here on a stage with a microphone. If she does, it's not willingly but she was here at one o'clock in the morning along with our incredible team. One of our maintenance guys got here before the firefighters and the police but our entire maintenance team and those who were here all night Friday night and all day yesterday in order to try and get things set up so that we could have church this morning. Can we give it up? And me and my sisters, how many of you have been here since the old church? Wave at me. Y'all remember when we used to say, we're a church on fire. We literally were on Friday night.

3:06 But thank God the fire did not overtake us, amen. My mom just told me on the front row, and I'll just be short with this, it's a funny story. She said downstairs in Kid Pack, they had a closet that had a bunch of squishies in it. And Kevin, one of our guys was down there and they said they were sopping, soaking wet from all the water. I mean, there was eight inches of water in the Connection Lounge on Friday night. And they said they went in and Kevin, who plays Jesus in our Easter productions, they said he came out with one stuffy and Jesus was not wet. It was a stuffy of Jesus. And she said he walked on the water. It was the only one that was not sopping wet. So I thought that was funny. But we're so grateful to be in the house of the Lord today. And I believe that I have a word in season for every single person under the sound of my voice. And so if you have your Bibles, show them to me.

4:03 All right, y'all are on. Okay, y'all might have beat the first service. I see you. But I want to start. We're going to get into the word in just a second. I wanna start with what kind of inspired this message. And this summer I did something that I feel probably as a mother should have kind of earned me, like, you know, what is it, general status? And I did something I haven't done in over 20 years. And I not only did it one time, I did it a second time and then I did it a third time and that was take my children to a water park. yes and all the women understand this was sacrificial love at its finest okay um my feet are on fire it's 100 degrees um first of all I don't like being in large bodies of water with that many people that are not the ocean it's gross okay um but I love my kids and I still don't feel that they really um appreciated and valued my sacrifice enough so I but I have a microphone and I'm gonna talk about it.

5:07 And so we went to the water park and also two out of those three times, my husband did not go. That's all. I just want everybody to know. He only went one time. And so we were at a water park and I decided I was gonna get in the lazy river because all the slides were around the lazy river, right? So I got myself in my little tube, I had my big hat and I floated for hours upon hours upon hours upon hours in this lazy river. And my daughters and their friend, Reese, who's actually here today at church, they were running around this water park living their absolute best life. And I noticed a couple hours into my continual roundabouts that they were going up to women, random people, strangers. And I noticed them going up to these random women and they'd go up and say something.

6:01 And as soon as they would, you would just see the woman's face light up. And she would go, oh. And I'm watching from afar, floating down the river. I'm like, what is happening? What are they doing? I'm there, I mean, it happened eight to 10 times that in my loop-de-loos, I saw. And so eventually I said, come over here. What are y'all doing? And they said, oh, mama, we're just telling different women that we see that we think they look really pretty today. Yeah, I know, and that's sweet. They didn't tell me, but just, and we're telling them they look really good in their bathing suits. And we're telling them that they're just beautiful. And, you know, they didn't know what these women were going through and how much of a security blanket that would be or how nice it is, or maybe what they look like in the mirror that morning and thought, I gotta get in a bathing suit and go to a water park.

6:54 This is traumatizing as a mom. And again, they didn't do this for me, but I'm so glad they did this. to the other strangers who were there. But as I was floating around the river and they told me this, they gave their words. And the Bible tells us that if we wanna look at what our faith should be like, what we should counter our lives as, as children. And so it made me think that, well, they gave just a few kind words. And from across my lazy river, I could see what an impact that made on those women, on their face, on the way that they thought. and I can visibly see what a few words can build in a complete stranger, but it made me think, what are my words building in the people who hear me every single day? What are my words building in my marriage? What are my words building in my children? What are my words building in my own mind, in my own beliefs, in my own identity?

7:49 What are my words building in my friendships and in my home? Because whether we realize it or not, every word builds something. The question is, what are you building with your words? The Bible talks a lot about our words, talks a lot about the importance of getting control over our mouth. James, who was the brother of Jesus, talks in James chapter three about the power of something incredibly small, the tongue. He says and compares our tongue to a bit that you put in the horse of a mouth and this powerful, incredible animal, It's direction and it's steered by the small bit in its mouth. It talks about a rudder. Ships are large and driven by strong winds, but they are steered with a small rudder.

8:37 The Bible talks in James chapter three and verse five, and it says, likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body. This is incredible, but it makes great boast. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. and it's referring to the spark that can come out of our tongues. The tongue is also a fire, a world of evil among parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one's life on fire and itself set on fire by hell. That's heavy. I don't like that.

9:17 A bit, a rudder, a spark, all small, none insignificant. Your tongue is small. Words can feel small. A sentence can take a couple of seconds to say and leave an impact on somebody's life forever. Your name, a name, a label, something you call somebody in a moment of anger or emotion, it can slip right out of our lips and then brand itself on someone's life for the rest of their years. Something, some of you are sitting in this room today and you still remember something somebody said to you. Maybe it was a parent, maybe it was a coach, maybe it was a teacher. Maybe they said something about your appearance, maybe they said something about your intelligence, your ability, your future. And you, they may not even remember saying it, but you will never, ever forget hearing it. A bit can determine directions. A small rudder can determine the direction of your life and a spark can produce destruction. It can corrupt the entire body.

10:23 Then James says something that ought to humble all of us. James 3 and 7 says this. He says, mankind has tamed all the kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and sea creatures, but no human being can tame the tongue. No human being. So this isn't something that we graduate from as believers. This isn't something that, oh, well, I get to a certain point and then I don't have to think about it or worry about it anymore. No, it's saying from 10 to 40 to 80, we have to consistently and continually watch our mouths. We have to consistently and continually surrender our mouths to the Holy Spirit. And I don't want to preach like this is something that I've mastered because I haven't. And I really thought that Tyler was going to give me, my husband who's sitting on the front row, a very loud amen there. I'm shocked. I thought he'd be standing up clapping like, no, she does not have it under control in the very least. I know for me personally, the Holy Spirit often is saying, don't say that, don't do that, you don't have to have the last word, and I'm like, yes, yes, I do. It is absolutely necessary that I have the last word in this argument, God. You don't get it.

11:43 James tells us that it's so important that the power of life and death is in our tongue. And I believe sometimes the Holy Spirit's telling me, wait, don't say that. And I'm already six sentences in and I've already moved past it. And when I'm angry, I can wield my words. I'm very good at it.

12:06 Not one amen. Okay. All right. I appreciate that, babe. your mouth can't be tamed but it can be guarded James tells us the danger the impact and the magnitude of our words and how powerful they can be used to destroy and corrupt but Paul shows us how they can be used to build to heal and to bring life Ephesians 4 29 it's one of my favorite scriptures in the word of God it says this do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth but only what is helpful for the building up of others according to my needs, no, their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. The message version of the Bible says it like this, say only what helps each word a gift. What if we lived our life like that?

13:01 Like every time we're talking to our spouse, like every time we're talking to the people in our lives and our children, we were handing them a gift. We are. you're either tearing down or you're lifting up with your words, those around you. And I want us to look at what happens when we don't choose to use our words to build, but we choose to use our words to set things on fire. The Bible says that when we use our words, it doesn't just affect one person. It affects all of those around us. They begin to affect the atmosphere and everyone in our life. Words build the atmosphere around me. James says a tiny spark can set an entire forest on fire. I wanna show you what that looks like. Numbers chapter 13, it tells us the story of the Israelites. They've come out of Egypt and they've come out of bondage and slavery.

13:55 And the Bible says that God told them, I've made you a promised land, a land flowing with milk and honey. Go out and claim it. And so the Bible says that Moses sent 12 spies into the land. one from each tribe of Israel. And the Bible says that those 12 spies went out and they all walked through the same land. They all saw the same fruit. They all saw the same giants. They all saw the same opposition, but they came back and they didn't all give the same report. 10 of those men came back talking about how powerful the people were, how fortified the cities were, and how impossible the opposition looked. Numbers 13, 32 says, and they spread among the Israelites, a bad report about the land they had explored. They spread because our words don't stay with us. They spread. The report began to spread through the camp.

14:50 Fear spread, doubt spread, discouragement spread, but their words were building an atmosphere. Everybody who could hear them was sitting in, living in, and dwelling in. But thank God 10 weren't the only ones who talked. There were two others that went out to scout out the land. The Bible says Joshua and Caleb saw the exact same land. They saw everything the other 10 saw. But while the 10 spies talked about how great the obstacles were, Joshua and Caleb saw and gave a different report. And Caleb opened up his mouth to begin to build with his words. And the Bible says in Numbers 13, then Caleb silenced the people. before Moses said, before Moses and said, we should go up and take possession of the land for we can certainly do it. I love that Caleb silenced the people.

15:45 There was already a conversation happening. Fear was already talking. The giants were getting bigger and bigger and bigger with each conversation that was happening. But Caleb said, I'm going to decide to put different words into the atmosphere. I'm going to step into a room and interrupt the fear. Somebody who says, wait a minute, we've talked enough about how big the giants are. We've talked enough about how high the walls are. We've talked enough about how great the opposition is, but can somebody in the room remember to talk about how big our God is?

16:20 10 spies are saying, look at how big they are. And Caleb and Joshua are saying, remember who is with us. Remember who our Lord is. Caleb's words didn't remove the giants. His words did not remove the walls. It didn't change what was standing in front of them. But his words were attempting to build courage in the people standing around them. And notice the language, we should go up. We should certainly do it. God is with us. They weren't just trying to strengthen themselves. they were trying to build and strengthen those around them. That's what building words do. They don't make me stronger. They strengthen somebody else. When everybody around you is discouraged, build courage. When your child is questioning who they are, build identity. When your spouse is overwhelmed, build strength.

17:16 Not with empty promises. Not with pretending the giants aren't real, but with reminding them that the giants aren't the only thing that is real. God is still real. His faithfulness is still real. His presence is still real. His word is still real. And you can count on his promises. They weren't manifesting a promise.

17:44 That is not in this book. We don't manifest things in our life. we come into agreement with what God has already spoken. I didn't create it. He did. All good things come from him and him alone, not me. It's a false doctrine. Okay, be quiet. That's fine. Keep preaching it. They weren't manifesting a promise. He was agreeing with one. Joshua and Caleb using their words to begin to bring agreement with the people of the promise that God had already spoken. That's completely different. Biblical faith isn't using my words to make God agree with me. Biblical faith is bringing my words into agreement with God. A faith-filled report isn't a fake report.

18:40 Faith isn't denying what I see. Faith isn't refusing to let what I see have the final word. That's what faith is. It's saying the doctor doesn't get to have the final say over my life. Cancer doesn't get to have the final say over my life. Depression doesn't get to have the final say over my life. I'm gonna bring my words in alignment with what my God has spoken over me. Faith is refusing to let what I see have the final word. There's a difference between acknowledging reality of my circumstances and allowing my circumstances to determine what I believe about God. I see the giants. I see the wall. I see the problem. I feel the fear, but I also remember what my God has said. There are things happening that happen in life that are scary. There are diagnosis. There are phone calls. There are unexpected circumstances that we never thought that we'd be walking through.

19:38 And yet throughout scripture, God tells his people constantly be strong and courageous. Courage isn't the absence of fear. Courage is what I choose to do in the presence of fear. Same circumstances, different report. That's why two people can get the same diagnosis and they talk different. One gets a diagnosis and says it's over. It's a death sentence. I'm done. I don't know how I'm even going to make it. You give up as soon as they tell you to give up. but somebody else gets that same report and they say, I don't know what tomorrow holds but I know who holds tomorrow. I don't know what I'm gonna do but I know that God's gonna be with me. I don't know how I'm gonna face this but I know that I'm not gonna face it alone. I'm going to pray, I'm going to trust God and he's gonna lead me and he's gonna guide me through this. Why? Not because I manifested it because that's his promise in this book. And everything will fade away but the word of God shall remain forever.

20:36 you can make good on his promises. You can claim them. You can begin to speak them and build something in your life because he is not a man that he should lie. He is an almighty God who does what he says he's going to do. He's a healer. He healed back then, he heals now. He's still a wonder working God, amen?

21:03 Same diagnosis, same uncertainty, different report, different words coming out of your mouth. One person isn't any less scared. One person isn't facing any less of a situation in front of them. No, they're just saying fear doesn't get to be the only voice in my circumstance. And this applies to our mental and emotional health too. Maybe you're walking through anxiety. Maybe you're walking through depression. I'm not telling you to pretend that you're okay when you're not. In fact, I think one of the healthiest and most faith-filled things that you can say sometimes is, I'm not doing well. I need help. That is not a faithless sentence. I can say I'm struggling with depression right now without declaring I will always be this way because I will not always be this way.

21:59 God, you've had me in this deep, dark season, but you will lead me out like you've done time and time again. And I'll speak it before I ever feel the emotion in my body, in my soul. You promised me that you're a God who dwells in deep darkness. And God, I feel like I'm in deep darkness right now. but you are here dwelling with me. You promised me in the book of Hebrews that never would you leave me, never would you forsake me. And so I will hold on to that promise. I will cling to it in a time of trouble. You promised me that you would provide peace for my anxiety. You would provide a way where I didn't see one. And I believe you to be true. I align my words with the promises that he's already given me because I'm building something. I'm reminding the devil sometimes, you can't have my mind. You can't have my mind.

22:54 I won't be like this forever. And you better hope I stay down for a minute. Because when I get up, you're going to have some black eyes. And I'm getting back up because this book tells me that I can get back up. This book tells me that no demon in hell can hold on to your mind. Can hold on, you in chains of addiction. Can hold you. whom the son sets free is free indeed. Hallelujah. I can acknowledge what I'm walking through and still remember who is walking through it with me. The Lord is with us. The Lord is with us. Nothing shall be impossible for you because the Lord is with us. Hallelujah. I'm not talking about pretending. I'm not talking about denying reality. I'm talking about speaking.

23:47 I'm not talking about speaking something into existence. I'm talking about what kind of words am I going to contribute to the atmosphere while I'm walking through this. Let your words build an atmosphere of faith that God will meet you in the middle of your impossible situation with. The Bible says that they came out and said, we are like grasshoppers. God never said that. God never called them grasshoppers. No, he said in Deuteronomy, you are well able, go take the land. I've given it to you. Some of us wanna call ourselves grasshoppers when the promise that God has given us is right there. You just have to reach out and take it. It's time to go possess the land. It's time to go possess peace. It's time to go possess the things in which he has already called and paid the price with his blood on the cross for. preach myself happy.

24:44 And hot. It's getting warm up here. Do you believe that today? Oh, he's good. Your words are revealing and reinforcing something within you. Don't speak grasshopper language. He never called you a grasshopper. He called you a conqueror through Christ Jesus. You can conquer anything that comes your way. Moving the whole pulpit, see?

25:14 Do you believe it? Be careful that you don't allow your circumstance to give you a vocabulary that contradicts what God has said. Because whether I'm speaking to everybody around me or I'm talking to myself, every word builds something. And I love this because Jesus took what James said and he took it even further. And he said, it's not enough for us to just control our mouths and our tongues. He said, I want to know where it's coming from. Jesus said in Luke 6, 45, for the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. And some of us still have some unhealed things in here. And so they keep coming out of here.

26:02 What's in here will always regurgitate and come up out of here. Have you said something and then immediately thought, now where did that come from? Only me? Okay. Jesus said, I know. Came from your heart. Came from that thing that you don't wanna let go of. It came from that unhealed wound that you won't deal with. It came from that festering bitterness. It came from that thing of unforgiveness that you won't hold on to. And so it seasoned all of your words with poison because you won't get rid of the poison in here. So poison continues to come out of your mouth every time you speak. Not to the people who inflicted the wound, no. It scorches and hurts the people who never inflicted the wound in the first place because you refuse to deal with the heart issue so that you can fix your mouth issue.

26:57 what's in my heart that keeps coming out of my mouth? If every time your spouse asks you a question, you hear it as criticism, what's in here? If you can't talk about a certain person without saying something negative, what's in here?

27:18 If your child makes one mistake and your response is completely disproportionate to what they did, what's in here? if every disagreement becomes an opportunity to bring up what they did three years ago, what is in here? Bitterness, I will, thank you. I mean, why not? Thank you. bitterness will eventually start building something with your mouth and bitterness towards one person can eventually affect everyone around you. Ephesians 4 31 through 32, the aftershock of this initial conversations, he said, get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ God, just as in Christ God forgave you.

28:19 Get rid of bitterness, then forgive. Some of us don't have a mouth problem. We have an unforgiveness problem that keeps coming out of your mouth. Forgiveness doesn't mean what happens is okay. It doesn't mean it didn't hurt. It doesn't mean that you aren't justified in feeling some type of way. it means I'm not going to then spew it on everybody else in my life and I'm not going to allow what someone did to me to keep living inside of me because if I allow bitterness to live in my heart then eventually it's going to start building things in my mouth sometimes the way God changes the language of my life is by healing the place my language has been coming from. Your mouth may be revealing something that God wants to heal. Some of us, every chance we get, we scorch those around us that we love. It's a spark, but we scorch our spouse. We scorch our children. We scorch strangers, cussing them out, going down the road. And some of y'all have got Free Chapel bumper stickers, still, made for more.

29:33 Take it off. Just scratch it off. Don't be shooting birds and cutting people off and cussing and screaming and then wearing our bumper sticker. No thanks. Proverbs 12 and 18 says, The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. we can hurt the ones that we love easily and more quickly because I know where to dig. I know where to hurt. Those moments that they gave me something vulnerable and told me something in a moment of vulnerability, I use that as a weapon, as a sword against them. But Proverbs says, don't, you can be a healing balm or you can be a sword that cuts to everyone in your life. Are you using your words to wound? Are you using your words to heal? Are you using your words to corrode? Are you using your words to build? Ephesians 4 29, it says, do not let, which means you can write the text. It means don't send it.

30:39 It means sit on it, go out, take a walk, think about it, come back later. Thank God you didn't Send it. delete it, sit down. Some of us would experience miracles in our relationships if we learn the spiritual discipline of waiting 20 minutes. Because sometimes the Holy Spirit is saying, don't let that out. Let means that we have a choice of what we let out of our mouth. Tongues cannot be tamed, but they can be guarded. But only, Paul says, but only what is helpful. He doesn't say mostly. He doesn't say unless they started it. He doesn't say unless I'm really angry. He doesn't say unless I'm right. He says only what is helpful. What would this look like in our marriages?

31:32 What would this look like with our families? Before I say it, am I trying to hurt them or am I trying to help them? before it comes out of my mouth. Am I trying to solve something or am I trying to win? Am I building or am I burning? Because you can say something completely true in a very specific way designed to hurt.

31:59 And then say, well, I'm just telling the truth. I do that a lot. Just telling the truth. No. truth isn't permission for cruelty. Paul's point isn't be nice. His point is be helpful. Some of us need to speak up. Some of us don't even use our words. When's the last time you told your wife she's gorgeous? Girl, you're hot. I mean, why do my kids got to do it at the water park. Why can't you do it? You know what it takes for us to get in a bathing suit and then go out and walk on hot freaking concrete all day and burn and then sit in for 18 hours in a, I'm just venting now. I'm sorry. Ladies, when's the last time you told your husband, I'm proud of you. Do you know what that would do? Do you know what that builds?

33:00 Okay. what if we didn't wait until someone was in a casket to give them our words what if we did it while they could still hear us what if we did it while they're still here with us this is incredible if we started telling our husbands you're a great dad you're an incredible provider I see how hard you work and if you started telling your wife girl you're freaking hot I see you I see you in those sweatpants. I see you in that greasy top knot bun. Those dark circles under your eye just mean that you've been working for this family and they look good to me. What if we became the standard of beauty to our spouse? Not what everything's showing you on your phone and through Instagram, but what if we began to build our spouses up, our marriages? What if we did this with our children. Don't let correction be the loudest language in your home. Yes, parent them, correct them, discipline them. But what if we just start building them up with our words and get intentional about it? Don't just say, hey, I love you. I'm so proud of you. No, begin to give them specific opportunities of where you saw them. Hey, baby, I saw when you went over when nobody else was talking to that girl and you talked to her. And hey, that's kindness. That's character.

34:26 That's something that I see in you. And even more, what if you let your children hear you speak to God about them? And sometimes we've got to speak in faith. I know my parents had to, but look at me now. I have to all the time. God, help Amelia. Lord, I thank you that she doesn't have a quarrelsome spirit with her baby sister, Elliot. God, I thank you that she keeps her hands to herself and she doesn't beat the living daylights out of her, Lord. And I thank you that she's got a time. And at some point, they're gonna start believing it and receiving it and living in it because mama said that this is who I am. And she even talked to God about it. And then we begin to nurture and build our children's identity and character and who they believe that we are. If all we ever do is put them down, what kind of grasshopper do you think you're raising?

35:22 It's time to speak to who they are. I don't want my children learning grasshopper language in my home. Maybe you've been in this room today and you're asking yourself, I don't know, what am I building with my words? my question to you is what should somebody who's been with Jesus sound like there's a story in the Bible and it's one line and it's it stood out to me the first time I read this and it's where Peter who was a disciple of Jesus was denying him over a fire and the Bible says in Matthew 26 73 surely there he's just denied Christ over and over and over again the Bible says, surely you are one of them. They're saying, you're a disciple. No, I'm not. He's, I don't even know that man. Sorry to this man. I don't know him. They say, surely you are one of them. Your accent gives you away. Now, literally they're recognizing Peter's Galilean accent. His speech revealed where he was from, but what an incredible picture for us. I want to spend so much time with Jesus that my words give me away. I want people to hear what I say to my spouse and think my speech is giving me away that I've been with the Lord. I want people to hear how I talk to somebody who hurts me, and I want them to hear my words giving me away that I've been with the Holy Spirit, the corrector and the convictor. I want people to see my forgiveness that I give and think my speech, her speech, the way she gives out grace and mercy, her speech is giving her away.

37:06 I want people to hear how I talk to my children and know that my speech is giving me away. Not because every sentence had a praise the Lord attached to it. Something different about the way that I handled conflict. The way that I spoke to people who weren't there. Or maybe I chose to shut down gossip about people who I wasn't around.

37:30 Your speech gives you away. and I don't want my Sunday worship to sound completely disconnected from my Monday words. I don't want, James says this. He says, how are you going to praise the Savior Jesus Christ and then curse those who are made in his image? How do you stand in here? Oh, come on, my soul. Don't you? And then you get in the car and be cussing those children out. look I didn't want to preach this either I told the Lord I did not feel qualified I felt like this was maybe just a me thing and he said no it's an everybody thing Thank you.

38:15 Every word builds something. Every single word builds something. What would this look like in our community? What would this look like in our families if we actually presented each word as a gift? What would it look like in our marriages? Maybe you're here today and your marriage looks like scorched earth. maybe the word sarcasm has crept in, hurt has crept in, resentment has crept in, unforgiveness has crept in, and you think, we're scorched. God can bring beauty from ashes. That's his promise. Isaiah 61.

39:04 He gives beauty for ashes, joy for our mourning. a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. That's his promise. Maybe you're here today and it's your family and maybe you're sitting beside a teenager or a preteen that on the way here you thought about choking them out. you thought I am at my wit's end. He, she is driving me insane. What if we used our words to build instead of break down? What if we actually presented every word to all of those around us as a present, as a gift, every single word a gift? I wanna close today. but I think it's important.

40:03 I think we need to take just a minute because if you're struggling with some things in here and it's coming out of here, I have an antidote. The Holy Spirit, the one who can come in and catch a fire to your tongue, but not a fire that scorches, a fire that burns in the best way possible.

40:32 And I believe that there are marriages in this room today. I believe that there are families in this room today. I believe that there are individuals in this room today. And you've began to tell yourself and believe the words and the report that someone else has spoken over you. I don't know what someone spoke over you, but I can tell you if it does not align with this book, then it is a lie.

40:56 For God is not a man that he should lie. He's the same yesterday, today, and forever. so if you can stand to your feet, please no leaving or moving around. if you just go home today and you practice one of these things, I know it's a very practical message, but I mean, that's what we need, right? My dad's preached about our families and our homes the last couple of weeks and how different would those atmospheres look like if we began to speak words that build, not words that corrode. so if you're in this room today with every head bowed and every eye closed, and maybe you're standing next to your spouse and words have corroded, words have broken, maybe you've said some things in anger that should have never slipped out, that didn't build, it destroyed, you can start over.

42:04 you can get a fresh clean slate. If you're with your spouse this morning would you just reach over and take their hand? If they reach over and try and take your hand take their hand. Don't be petty, don't be hateful. Please act like we don't know we do it. Don't touch me. God, I just ask that the healing balm of forgiveness soothes over people's souls this morning.

42:38 and if you're in this room and you're with your spouse and you say, we need a fresh start, clean slate, or we need this reminder that we have to build better. We have built a very broken thing, but this morning you can build better. You can start building now with the words that you say. If you're in this room and you say, our marriage needs to build a better thing with our words, would you just lift your hands together? Maybe you're in this room and you're here with your entire family and your family looks like it's in shambles and you don't know what to do and nobody can get along and everybody hates each other and everybody's fighting and you're all ready to fist fight one another. I know a man. the wonderful counselor, the one who can come in and heal everything that's broken, who can bring forgiveness, who can bring the healing balm of Gilead.

43:43 If that's you in this room, would you raise your hand as a family and say, hey, there's some things, some words that we need to surrender. I want us today to worship for a few moments and if that's you, can you just slip out of your seat and as a family and as a married couple, would you just come down to this altar because we're just gonna worship and we're gonna lift up the name that's above every situation and circumstance.