Lead with Your Life: How to Influence in Your Twenties

0:13 We exist to spread great joy in a big God and we're trying to do that all over the world. And so that makes us such a blessing, such a privilege to be a part of the Cross Conference. How many of you have been by the booth to meet somebody from our team? Can you raise your hands? Yeah. How many got a DG t-shirt this week? Yeah. We hope those shirts can be a blessing to you that can give you just a bright red reason as you go back to your campuses and your churches. A bright red reason to tell someone about how much you enjoy Jesus. That's our hope.

0:50 My breakout session is about one verse, 1 Timothy 4, verse 12. The Apostle Paul says, Let no one despise you for your youth, but set an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity. Before I get to the verse, though, I want to tell you about Brian. As I was getting ready to fly here and I was thinking about what I wanted to say to you this afternoon, I started thinking about Brian. It was for a couple of reasons. One, it's because he now pastors down the street here in Louisville. He has now for a long time, and I don't get to see him as much as I'd like to see him. The second reason I thought about Brian was because he was about your age when he changed my life.

1:41 He was actually a little bit younger than most of you are. I met Brian when I was 14. It was the summer before my freshman year in high school. Brian was a couple of years older than me. He was a junior. And that made him just about a celebrity in my eyes. I mean, he had a car. He was funny and he was super smart. He had lots of friends. Most importantly, he was ridiculously good at ping pong. And that matters at 14. And for whatever reason, Brian wanted to hang out with a nerdy freshman like me.

2:23 I won't tell you everything that I admired about Brian, but here's some things I still remember, even 20 years later. In that age, when most of my guy friends were practicing their profanity, making fun of each other all the time, Brian didn't tear other people down. now brian used his words to encourage me and others through the ups and downs of high school brian spurred me to read my bible and he didn't just keep reminding me to read my bible but he actually invited me hey come with me show up with me 30 minutes early to high school so that we can read our bibles together watching him enjoy the bible and live the bible it made me hungry for the Bible. When he found out about sin in my life, he came and he confronted me about it. He was gentle, but he was clear and he was firm. And he confessed his own sin consistently and he modeled for me a vigilance against temptation and he modeled repentance for me as a teenager.

3:37 he was smart and he was athletic and he could have done anything he wanted to do with those years anything he wanted to do he could have done and he chose to invest lots and lots of hours to help me and other guys like me meet Jesus and grow in Jesus in other words even at 17 he was setting an example for me in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity. And 25 years later, I still want to be like him. I'm deliberately telling you about my friend Brian because at a student missions conference, you're going to hear stories about young people who changed the world for Jesus. Jim Elliott in Ecuador, C.T. Studd in China, Amy Carmichael in India, John Payton in the South Pacific.

4:37 And I hope that there are some Jim Elliots at this conference. I hope there's an Amy Carmichael in this room. I really believe that there are great missionary biographies that will be written in 50 or 60 or 70 years that began right here in northern Kentucky this week. But I'm telling you about Brian Lapina because not all of you will be an Elliot or a Payton or a Carmichael. But every one of you can be a Brian. and that's why I want to talk to you about 1 Timothy 4.12. Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.

5:32 This is the Apostle Paul's charge to his son in the faith, Timothy. He's calling this young man, we think he was probably in his 30s, but Paul's calling Timothy, this young man, to step up and to lead the church. and he's telling him to lead with his life. Set an example.

5:57 And that simple command, it speaks to something core about who we are as humans because we are all imitators. We were made in the image of God to reflect the image of God, and we reflect the image of God most often by reflecting that image through something we've seen in somebody else. We're all imitators by nature. Our youngest child is three, and he has lots of words now, a few too many words at times. But when he was younger, he had fewer words. We were in, at this stage, the mom, dad, ball, car, milk stage. And we were out shopping, and my son decided to go to the bathroom. But like a lot of two-year-olds, he didn't go to the bathroom in the bathroom, and so I have to take him to the bathroom to change him. So he and I and the number two, we found the bathroom.

6:54 I changed him. And when I got done, he looked up at me and he smiled and he said, Now that's more like it. And I just stared at it. What did you just say? I mean, my son, mom, mom, mom, dad, car, car, car, car. That's more like it. Where did he learn that? I mean, was he just sitting in his bed and he came up with that?

7:40 No. That boy, everything that boy says, he's repeated. In this case, he's probably copying his grandpa. Just sounds like him. He was following an example because that's how he was made. He was made to reflect what he sees and hears, and you are too. And I could do a whole talk today on who you should follow and imitate in these formative years of your life. That would be a great talk, but that's not this talk. No, this talk is about the people who are watching and imitating you.

8:21 You don't get to choose. You are already an example. The question is, what kind of example? And to who? Paul wants us to tell the world about Jesus, and he wants our lives, our lives, to say that Jesus saves, Jesus rules, and Jesus satisfies. That's what this verse is about. In these teenage 20-something years, when you're surrounded by immature, selfish, complacent, phone addicted, just barely Christian people, be a beacon of something different. set an example for someone to follow be a brian to the handful of eternal souls who look up to you right now in first timothy 4 12 it gives us a quick road map for how to do that paul gives us five areas where we can set an example by faith even when we're young.

9:41 Set the believers an example in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity. Now, I don't have time to spend much time on all five of these, but I just encourage you to take them home with you and spend some time in the community that you came with. Spend some time reflecting on each of these. Where are you currently setting a good example? If you are, praise God. That's a miracle that he has worked in you by his spirit. And where at the beginning of a new year, where do you need to grow? Where can you set a better example for those who look up to you? Okay, five areas. First, speech. What do we say or not say? Just think about setting an example in speech, we might immediately start to think of the things that we don't say. Profanity.

10:34 Crude humor. Biting sarcasm. Are you known for those things? Paul says, Ephesians 5 verse 4, Let there be no filthiness, nor foolish talk, nor crude joking, which are out of place. They're out of place with a Christian. When you give in to those desires, when you use your mouth in those ways, you're lying about Jesus.

11:01 But we can't settle for just being known for what we won't say. no we also want to be known for what we do say and it's right there in the same verse let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking which are out of place but instead i love that phrase but instead let there be thanksgiving don't be known for crude joking be known for thanksgiving don't just avoid profanity and cruelty and keep those out of your mouth, but fill your mouth with thanksgiving. Fill it so full that there's no room. They're out of place. Those other ways of speaking. Fill your mouth with thanksgiving, with encouragement, with wisdom and honesty, with correction when it's needed. Fill your mouth with prayer.

11:55 Fill your mouth with singing. When you consider your conversations, your calls, your texts, your tweets, your posts, your emails, are you setting an example in Christ that you would want a younger person to follow? I mean, think about a specific person younger than you and ask yourself, would you want them to talk the way that you talk? so first speech second conduct how do we spend our lives what does the way that you live your life especially how you spend your time your money and your attention what does it say about jesus Thank you. If someone could watch you for a week or a month or a year, what conclusions would they come to about your God?

12:55 Ephesians 5 verses 15 and 16. Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise, making the best use of the time because the days are evil. mature Christians they have this sense of urgency to make their lives count for Christ you're hearing that all over this conference what does your conduct say about your priorities right now this isn't about what we say is most important to us we know to say that God Jesus his glory the church the bible we know to say that those are our priorities but where but but where did most of our effort and our hours go. what has our attention in all those random moments at the margins of our day over time people notice what we really care about and if they look up to us it'll begin to be what they care about too what is your conduct saying third love what good are we to others one effective way to evaluate how you're using your time your energy your money is to ask what tangible good is all of that doing for others so who are you focused on loving right now so your friends church family your roommates neighbors, coworkers, the lost, one day a spouse, children. Who are you focused on loving right now and how specifically and tangibly are you seeking to love them?

14:44 would you want a younger person to love their friends the way that you love your friends? I love, when it comes to setting an example in love, I love the little summary at the heart of 1 Corinthians 13. This is verse 7. Paul says, Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love bears all things. Love bears the needs of others, especially their spiritual needs.

15:22 Love believes all things. Love believes the best of others, even when it would be easy to be cynical. So easy to be cynical, but love, it believes. It has hope for others. Love hopes all things. Love hopes the best for others, always wanting what's good for them and rejoicing when they succeed and thrive. And love bears all things. Love endures all things. Love bears those burdens for others, and then love keeps bearing and keeps bearing and keeps bearing even when others would have quit. So are you setting a 1 Corinthians 13, 7 example in your relationships right now? Fourth, purity. Are we guarding our hearts for Jesus? We know that the purity that Paul has in mind here is at least sexual purity.

16:18 And we know that because a chapter later he says to young men, encourage older women as mothers, younger women as sisters in all purity. Same word, 1 Timothy 5 verse 2. and we still need to hear today don't we we need to hear that setting an example in christ means fighting for sexual purity in fact this is another great motivation if you're looking for motivations and you should get all the motivations that you can this is another great motivation for sexual purity don't just pursue purity for the sake of your own soul by all means do that but no think fight for sexual purity for those who might see you fighting and start fighting with you. They see you fighting and they say, yeah, I'm going to go back into battle against that temptation. Men in particular, this kind of blood-bought, grace-filled self-control, it's going to immediately set you apart as an example in our world today. Christian men who relate to women in all purity in person and online, they will not be like most men. And that will say something beautiful, something stunning, something powerful about Jesus.

17:39 This purity is about more than sexual purity though. Sexual purity, yes, absolutely, but this purity is about an undefiled, undistracted pursuit of Jesus. Sexual purity, purity in Christ is not mainly about what we avoid, but it's about what we pursue. And we avoid the things that we do so that we can, with more of our heart and soul and mind and strength, pursue the thing that will really satisfy us, the thing that brings lasting pleasure. Some people think that they're pure just by avoiding pornography and by not messing around with their boyfriend or girlfriend, but their hearts are as distracted and as cold as anyone's when it comes to the Lord. So are we giving in right now to some other distraction, some other hurdle or hindrance that's interrupting or dividing our attention to Jesus? Is our online life in particular, is it the kind of life that we would want other Christians to see and then follow?

18:49 some of you have been fighting a losing battle here in this area and you need and you need to hear this week at the conference you need to hear that you really can be an example in purity the God who formed the mountains and who filled the oceans and who raises the dead he can make you an example, a worthy example to follow. He can. so find a couple of faithful friends pray for one another regularly every day and then fight together for greater purity in christ set an example in public and in secret of devotion to jesus lastly faith are we willing to fight for more of jesus you know faith is something private and invisible and so you could ask well how do you set an example in something that other people can't see. Well, they can't see our faith, but they can see us fight for faith. And I say that because Paul says two chapters later, 1 Corinthians 6 verse 12, fight the good fight of faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called. What does it mean to fight for faith?

20:12 well it means being prepared to fight a lot of Christians don't want to fight they want Christianity to be easy they want to sit back and they're just going to wait for God to do something but mature Christians they take hold of this life that God has given them in Christ they expect obstacles and opposition to come They know it's going to be hard at times. They make time to meet with God even when it's not convenient, even when they're tired, even when they're working extra shifts at work or when there's deadlines coming for school. They commit to a local church even while they're in college, and then they keep showing up and showing up to serve her in all the ways that they can.

21:02 Setting an example in faith, it really means setting an example in hunger. how badly do you want to see, enjoy, and share Jesus? Can the people close to you, can they see how much you trust him and want more of him? I chose this verse for this moment with you for a reason, and I've mentioned it a couple of times, but I wanted to end here. It's the beginning of the verse. The older father in the faith, Paul, he puts his arm around the younger man, Timothy. Again, he's a little bit older than you, but he's young. He's clearly battling insecurity and uncertainty. And Paul says, Timothy, let no one despise you for your youth. but set an example. Why would he say that? It's because people in the church clearly they despised Timothy for his youth. They thought he was too young to follow.

22:12 He needed to wait another decade until it was his turn. And Paul says, no, if God is with you and if he lives in you by the spirit, then I want you to lean in now and start leading now. and don't lead by just telling them who Jesus is. No, show them. Let your life in a thousand little ways, let your life show them how big and good your God is.

22:46 And as I read this letter, I can't help but think that one of the people in Timothy's church who despised Timothy's youth was Timothy himself. I'm not sure he fully believed that he could lead the other believers who were around him. And so you can hear Paul saying to him, Timothy, let no one despise you for your youth. And that includes you.

23:17 Dare to believe that God will use you, even while you're young, to chart a course that someone else can follow. And so cross-conference, I'll say the same to you. Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.