Leading a Skeptical Church into Things of the Spirit

0:24 I wanted to be a part of this conference just to sit and attend. Honestly, I don't usually sit in the conference. I come for a couple hours, speak, and leave. But I really wanted to be at this one when I heard about this conference and not even to speak but really just to listen because this is really new to me and I don't know what I even have to bring to the table. so when I was asked to speak I thought I don't know what I'm going to add but this way he pays for the flight and just being honest so what do you want to talk about? I, this morning, this morning in my Bible reading, so I'm doing the Read Scripture app, and you know, where our whole church, we read through the entire Bible every year, and today's reading was, those who are in it, Acts 1 and 2, and I thought, no way, you know, and I'm just, I'm just reading it, and, and just, just hungering for something more, you know just going there's there's no way if i just read this for the first time this morning man what would i expect what would i expect from this and there there's a verse that i a couple days ago on on wednesday when we're reading through luke still um there was a verse that stuck out to me and and it's it's just been on my mind and it's in luke 21 when he he talks about, hey, the persecution that's coming, they're going to bring you before synagogues, they're going to bring you before governors, but then he says this, he says, this will be your opportunity to bear witness.

2:13 Verse 14, settle it therefore in your minds, not to meditate beforehand how to answer, but I will give you a mouth and wisdom which none of your adversaries will be able to withstand or contradict. Okay, I don't like verse 14.

2:39 Settle it therefore in your minds not to meditate beforehand how to answer. He's saying, decide right now because I'm making you a promise that I'm going to give you the words to say so you decide right now that you're not going to think about it. you're not going to worry about it, and you're not going to meditate. You know, when I'm put there, here's what I'm going to say.

3:08 And that's a very risky place to be, right? But he's saying, no, you need to decide this. And it's very similar to what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 2, right? When he says, when I came to you, I didn't come with this superior wisdom. I just want to read it directly in 1 Corinthians 2.

3:38 He says, When I came to you, brothers, I didn't come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom, for I decided, okay, this was a decision, I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. and I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom but in demonstration of the spirit and of power so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God. again, there was a decision.

4:26 You know, last night, Chandler talked about the safety belt. Right, we put on that safety belt, and honestly, my safety belt is sermon prep. I'm not talking about studying the Word of God. Okay? I study the Word. We should all be students of the Word of God. Study, study, study, study. But sometimes my safety belt is my sermon prep and just figuring out how to deliver it just right to where I know it can't fail.

5:00 I know, like what you were saying last night. I know how to keep people's attention. I know how to put together a message I'll keep everyone's attention for 40 minutes. I figured that out. Okay, so that's my safety best. So even if the Holy Spirit does nothing, it's still gonna be fine. Seriously, people will still walk out of the church building going, that was good.

5:25 I know how to put together a service with the band and just put the right order together where it's gonna be fine. to where I don't have to come with what Paul says, this fear, this weakness, this fear and trembling. When's the last time you did that?

5:49 And it's no wonder that then suddenly people don't show up because you're not preaching. Why? Because their faith is all about, oh, I wanted to hear Chandler speak today. Remember when people used to drive into our parking lot and say, is Francis here this weekend? No, and they drive away. Why? Because somehow we got addicted to the way a certain message is delivered. And man, I'm not here to bash all of that. I'm just saying, like, I am trying to figure out how to really live out this 1 Corinthians 2 passage. And this morning, again, I'm saying, God, I love you. I love serving you. and I'm so content in you, but I'm not content in this still. There's something more.

6:40 I know it, Lord. I know it. I know there's more. And every time when I get that from the word of God and I sense it, I just, and you step out in faith, you see, I've seen great things happen. And the Lord again today is saying, when have I ever let you down? By stepping out of faith, when have I ever let you down? Thank you. And so even right now, I don't want to do anything in the flesh. I want to be completely abiding in Jesus right now. completely abiding in the vine. I'm seeking that phrase. Paul's saying, I resolve to know nothing except Jesus Christ and Him crucified.

7:45 Can we just think about Jesus Christ and him crucified right now? let's just put a discussion of the gifts just off to the side for a second and just think about Jesus Christ and him crucified Thank you. God, I pray for every man and woman in this room right now.

8:59 if they would fall deeply in love with you and the person of Jesus, Lord, may we be people who just can't get enough of him that aren't satisfied saying, we want more, we want more, we want more of him. I want to know him more. I want to understand totally what it means to abide in him. To be completely attached to him. so we'll bear great works, great fruit. God increase our love for you our worship of you for the cross I feel like I'm supposed to just ask you all,

10:17 honestly, are you in love with the person of Jesus? Like, is he so real to you? Like, he's right here. You're abiding in him. I was looking at that passage last week, and Joel referred to it this morning, John 15. abide in me I was asking God I go what does it mean to abide in you what does it mean to live in you you know how do you live inside of another person and I just got this picture of my my daughter my daughter who's pregnant right now and I was thinking that's it this child inside of her and this umbilical core that that's that baby's whole lifeline. And I was like, God, can I just picture myself inside of you like that baby is inside my daughter and that's it. There's nothing I add.

11:29 It's not about me cutting the cord, running out and giving some message and bearing this fruit. He's just saying, no, just abide in me. Just live inside of me. And you're going to bear great works. Man, is that the intimacy you have with him today? because remember what he says like last week I was reading in Luke chapter 10 You know, he says in verse 8,

12:18 whenever you enter a town and they receive you, eat what is set before you, heal the sick in it, and say to them, the kingdom of God has come near to you. you know, he just says to those 72, he goes, look, when you go into a town, eat what's before you, heal the sick and say to them, the kingdom of God has come near you. It just seems like it's just another detail, right? Eat what's in front of you, heal the sick.

12:48 I'm just going, it was so matter of fact, and it just didn't make any sense to me that he would give us less now. You know, I'm just reading it like a kid would read it and go, man, it just, I'd expect more now.

13:10 Heal the sick. But then he, you know, they go, they do it. But then, remember they return with joy? And what does it say in verse 20? when they're rejoicing that they have authority over the demons this fly is killing me

13:31 I don't know if I got it or not. Oh my gosh. Total Satan. It was like landing it all over. I'm trying to ignore it. These guys in the front are just staring at it and giggling. You guys just need prophets. And you guys are staring at the fly. Seriously. What was I talking about? Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, so you guys know this. So they return with joy, and Jesus says, Behold, I've given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you. Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.

14:32 Okay, I think this is so key. Because if you're like me and you're in the beginning of this journey and you're pursuing this, there's so much frustration when nothing happens. And God doesn't want us frustrated like that because then when something happens, we're going to rejoice in that. Like, in other words, I mean, I don't think he's saying, like, don't rejoice at all, but the point is, I've got to always rejoice in the fact that this is happening, that I'm connected to him. Okay? Because I can be one of those people, you get focused, and this is the gifts, and I'm just thinking, man, in fact, you know, I was praying with someone up here, you know, and my daughter, my, I don't know how old she is, it's like my one of my younger ones she uh I've got seven kids she's either six or seven and uh but when I left the house yesterday she just total total big time fever like just miserable as I'm leaving she's crying because she just hurts so bad and I prayed over her and I knew right then I didn't have the faith. I just kind of said, okay, daddy's going to pray for you. And I just thought, Lord, I hate this. When I pray, now I almost don't want to pray for her healing.

16:00 She doesn't get healed. I'm worried about her faith. You guys know what I'm talking about, that wrestle. And nothing happens. But then this morning, I thought, you know what? I'm going to pray in faith. God heal little Claire. Just heal her. Just heal her. And then someone else was here and said, hey, can I pray? I feel like I'm supposed to pray for your son, that there's an illness. I go, no. Close. You know, it's my daughter maybe. And let's just pray in faith again. And so right before I came up, I just texted my wife, how is Claire feeling? I prayed for healing this morning.

16:43 And she says, her fever is still at 101, and now Silas is over 102. So I text back, I guess I still suck at healing. okay You were thinking it was going to be a good story. I know. I know. Okay. But I look at this passage, okay?

17:27 Luke 10. It was almost like it reminded me not to be discouraged. Because if, you know, if my heart sinks right now because the healing didn't work, and then if the healing did work then I'd be like rejoicing in that and he says there's something much bigger going on here Jesus says your name's written in heaven man your name is written in heaven man I gotta ask like did you rejoice in that today did you wake up I mean I did this morning I was praying to the Lord and for some reason And, you know, after reading Acts 1 and 2, I just started thinking about, for some reason, he brought me back to the garden. And thinking about the Garden of Eden.

18:22 And just thinking about Adam. And I started thinking about Adam. And what was it like to be the first man? And I thought, you, I mean, right when that dust appears, you know, and then, you know, not appears, but it forms into a man. and God breathes into him. I tried to think, what was that like for Adam to be the first of his kind and just kind of have a conscience and realize he exists and goes, what am I? What am I doing? What am I thinking? And his creator is right in front of him saying, I just made you. and for him to be standing in front of the being who created him. what is going on in his heart?

19:22 Going, I'm a person, and here is the one who made me. Is there anything more important than knowing this being who just spoke me into existence? And I thought, what was it like, Adam, to walk around with the person who made you? and I just could feel like what you're talking about, the translogical, what was that word?

19:59 Transrational, okay. Like trans, like whatever that means, I think I felt it this morning. No, where it's like, man, I'm feeling my spirit and the Spirit of God just connecting this deep, oh, you know how the Bible says, no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him, but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. There's something that he reveals by his Spirit, like what it's going to be like. And I almost sense there was something like that this morning where it's like, I'm before my creator, my soul before my very creator, and just going, gosh, what matters at that moment?

20:53 I hope there's a bit of jealousy when you hear about Adam in the garden with his creator. Nothing can, what's gonna hurt you? As he walks around going, I made all of this for you. That peace, that joy. I was thinking about the fear I was feeling about some of these things. And the fear and just going, no, thy will be done. Charlie and I were praying before. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. There's no fear up there. Is anyone afraid up there? And we're praying, God, make it like that in this room. Your presence is here with us. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. I'm not afraid of anything. If I'm standing there in the garden with the creator of everything, there's no fear if my spirit and his are one and then everything he's saying there in in john 15 man the the words just abide in me just abide in me he makes it so simple he goes just abide in me i'm the vine you're the branches whoever abides in me and i in him he it is that bears much fruit for apart from me you can do nothing.

22:10 If you abide in me and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish will be done for you. By this my fathers glorify that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. and are you abiding in his love today are you just going it is so good i'm just like that infant inside this womb living inside of god and this is my lifeline i'm attached to this vine that picture of that baby man you know just that soul resting in him just going i don't have to worry let me just abide what does an infant do blows bubbles and you know like what you're just in there you're just and i just feel like so many times we can get anxious if i do this better than and that's me that's where we'll go it's the stress and he's just saying abide abide and by rejoice rejoice rejoice don't rejoice if you cast out a demon rejoice that your name is written in the book of life rejoice that your name is written in heaven? Like, are you thrilled about it? You know, this other passage that I've been thinking about is Ephesians 5 hit me a little while back. You know, Ephesians 5, that's the marriage passage that you use, but it's so not about marriage. When it says husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church, gave himself up for her.

24:00 Where is the passage? In the same way, verse 28, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body. we are members of his body. He's talking about husband and wife, you know what, love her like you love your own flesh, but then he takes it further and he says, you know what, because that's what God does and we are members of his body.

24:49 Like I'm a member of Christ's body. He's gonna nourish and cherish it. Think about that. a couple months ago my son-in-law was here was uh the one who impregnated my daughter um it's just weird um but uh Anyways, he was sharing the gospel with someone. He was sharing the gospel in San Francisco with some people and a couple guys. And one of them casually says, you know, I saw God. I've seen God.

25:43 And Justin goes, the God of the Bible? And the guy goes, yeah. And Justin goes, no, you haven't. I was like, whoa. He just says to this guy he's sharing with, stranger. He goes, no, you haven't. And the guy's like, yeah, I have. You can't tell me I haven't. He goes, no, you haven't seen him. He's like, how do you know I haven't seen the God of the Bible? And Justin said, if you saw the God of the Bible, your face would have melted off your skull. The God of the Bible dwells in unapproachable light. You don't say you stood on the sun this morning. You know, it's just something like, yeah, get him. You know, it's just, you don't, you don't, you don't just say, oh, I was, you know, it's just like standing for an atom bomb. It's just saying I stood on the sun and yet with all of that, like, here's this God who's so holy, so amazing, who dwells in unapproachable light, who is holy, holy, holy.

26:45 And then he says, and you are members of my body. Just like your arm. You know how your arm is a part of your body? Now you're a member of Christ. That infinite holy God says, because of what Jesus did on the cross, now you're attached to me. Man, like this is what we need to rejoice in. okay so we can't lose our joy if ah the healing didn't work today i i prophesied i think i got it wrong and we can't put all our joy and ah it finally worked i healed somebody else no he told his disciples look i get it i gave you this power but don't rejoice in that your number one joy is that you know me, you know me, you know me.

27:41 You're forgiven. Your name is written in the book of life. You're a member of my body. You can abide in me. I've called you friends. No longer do I call you slaves. I've called you friends. Like this has to be our primary joy. There's got to be a way where we can eagerly desire the spiritual gifts and yet our greatest joy is in Jesus, right? Because I can get obsessed with things and I think that's sometimes my frustration is when I first became a Christian, I remember they told me it's about this relationship with Jesus. You know, it's not a religion, right? We were all told that. It's a relationship. It's this relationship. but good things can become the priority rather than the greatest thing which is this relationship and there are churches that are here's my wrestle do you know of a church where the people are just known for being madly in love with the person of Jesus like when you hear the name of a certain church you just think oh those are people that man whenever you talk to someone from that church they're just like oh I was with Jesus this morning It was so good.

29:12 I could just spend the whole day with him. I was just telling him, like, is that the conversation? And churches can get involved. And these are all good things. Like, there are churches that are known for their care for the poor, how they rescue the slaves. There's other churches that are known for their scholarship and how the people really understand this book. There's other churches that are known for the gifts. And how miracles happen there. There are other churches that are about holiness. And how they just don't put up with sin in that church. There are other churches that are great about outreach. That are known for their music. That are known for their preaching. But are there churches where it's known for the people. I mean their first love is they just can't get enough of him. Him.

30:08 Him. so in the pursuit of all of this gosh he's always got to be first it's always about you being just madly in love with the person of Jesus see we're gonna make disciples and that's why I ask you are you in love with him is that what you're known for a lover of Jesus Let's go. I think for a while I just feel like I was known as being a good speaker. I thought, I don't want to be known as someone who can talk. Wow, I'm a great talker. That's a great life goal.

30:58 You know, that's a great thing on your tombstone. Boy, could he talk. You know, it's like, what do I want to be known for? I want to be a lover of Jesus. I want to be a guy that just abides in him. I'm a guy who just says, I don't care what anyone else thinks. thinking about you're not going to stand with me on judgment day why do I care what you're going to think why do I care what people think I want to run in the arms of Jesus whom I've been abiding in and loving and enjoying and he's my first love because it seems like there are many who will say to him on that day wait didn't we cast out demons in your name Thank you. but they didn't know him. They didn't know him.

31:54 They might have rejoiced in the power. Maybe they really did cast out demons in his name, but they didn't know him. We've got to be lovers of God, lovers of Jesus. You know... when I first became a Christian I feel like it was early in high school when I first really knew him I'd been to church before but it was in high school just to give you a little bit of a journey to where we are as a church now and where I am I remember I started reading this book in high school and no one else was around. I would just read this book. And I just started believing all of it. You know, I started reading about the punishment, the wrath of God.

32:51 And I started walking through the locker halls in my public high school and just picturing all of my friends facing that type of torment. And I just started pulling them aside one at a time. I remember one time the youth pastor during an outreach he picked me up in the church bus because I said I've got a bunch of friends I'm going to bring tonight and my friend Ken and I brought 50 first time visitors, why? Because I took this so literally I remember getting the senior yearbook or when I was a junior getting the yearbook and just looking at all the faces of the seniors and thinking man I know a lot of these people and I don't know if I'll ever see them again. And I just got on the phone and I started calling every senior that I knew and going, man, this is maybe a crazy conversation to you, but I gotta share something with you because I may never see you again.

33:48 And just start sharing the gospel with them. Why? Because I took this literally. And then I read like Matthew 7, like I just said, you know, and many are gonna say, you know, hey, Lord, Lord. And he goes, not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord, is going to enter the kingdom of heaven. Only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. So then I start getting concerned for people who went to services and going, wait a second. I know you're calling him Lord, but I know what your life is like. It doesn't seem like, it seems like a good tree is going to bear good fruit. then I'd read passages like Matthew 17.

34:33 Where he says, you know what? I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you'll say to this mountain, move from here to there, and it'll move, and nothing will be impossible to you. whoa see I just took everything literally and I remember going into my bedroom closing the door and just staring at things and trying to make a move I did I just thought man if I can move a mountain let me start with this pencil I did I swear and I'm just in my room going Lord I believe I believe, I believe. Move, move, move. I mean, this is the way I took scripture. This is the best I could understand it was that that power was still available to me.

35:23 Then I went to Bible college. and I was told, no, it doesn't. This doesn't happen, this doesn't happen, this doesn't happen. and actually I was glad I was taught that because now my theology matched my experience okay yeah it didn't make sense to me I was wondering why that pencil didn't move you know and I was wondering why I prayed for healing and it didn't happen I was wondering why this oh okay so if you do the You know, and so I hook, line, and sink are complete cessationists. It's over. I was so sure of myself.

36:17 And that's why I say, man, and I was preaching it. I remember, you know, I remember even going out with a girl who was charismatic. And I'm putting it back then. We had cassette tapes of sermons from our president, you know, of our seminary that was saying why none of the, you know, tongues happen anymore or prophecies or whatever else. And I just made her listen to it on our dates. And I seriously remember after one, I'll go, so what do you think of that? She goes, honestly, I fell asleep. And I think that was God protecting me. And I'm like, you know what, you know, it's, this isn't going to work. You know, actually she dumped me but anyways but I remember and it was just anytime since after I started my church anytime someone came through the doors and mentioned anything remotely about a prayer language or whatever else I didn't even know what to do with myself seriously I'm being so I'm not exaggerating like there was this sick stomach feeling like you speak in tongues I don't even believe that? That might be demonic. Am I letting that into the church? This is how strongly I felt about some of this stuff. I'm going to have to confront him. I'm going to have to confront her.

37:37 and for years that's really kind of but the more I studied the word of God it went all the way back to when I was a kid like no I never would have got that I have to be taught that I wouldn't read the Bible and expect all of this to end it just didn't make sense and then I started asking other other people who graduated with me they're on staff with me even professors you know I learned that and I go really can you really prove it through the scriptures they're like not really but it's the experience it goes it's you know look at what happened in history and look around you and and I go exactly but from this Is that really the most natural, obvious reading of this book?

38:37 And they all agreed, no, I know there's more. I go, I know there's more too. And I want this, I want this, I want this. And then last year, during our Bible, again, we just kind of chronologically go, you know, Genesis. And so last year, around this time, we're in 1 Corinthians. And I'm reading through 1 Corinthians. And I got to chapter 14, and when it talks about, you know, if everyone's speaking in tongues, where is that?

39:17 Okay, here it is. Verse 23. If therefore the whole church comes together and all speak in tongues and outsiders or unbelievers enter, will they not say that you are out of your minds? I knew that passage backwards-forward. But that next verse really hit me. I'm like, what? But if all prophesy and an unbeliever or outsider enters, he is convicted by all, he is called to account by all, the secrets of his heart are disclosed, and so falling on his face, he'll worship God and declare that God is really among you.

40:03 What? I mean, I read that. I mean, don't you read that and go, I want to see that. I want to see that happen. So if everyone prophesies and an unbeliever walks in, he's convicted by all. He's called to account by all. The secrets of his heart are disclosed. And so falling on his face, he'll worship God and declare God is really here with you. I go I've never experienced that I want this and just I grabbed the elders I said hey look we just read through 1 Corinthians what did you guys think show me if I'm off here I mean when you come together each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation a tongue each one like if all prophesy Then he's called to count by all.

41:02 Like there's some sort of group. Everyone that's there can do something. And I go, I just want to see this. I'm done with, okay, if we do it just right, we'll slowly. No, it seems like there's something where they're struck by the power of God. And suddenly everything inside just inside out exposed. And they fall on their face and worship God. Oh God, I want this. I want this. I want this. And I start talking to the other elders and going, look, everyone has this, not just a gift, not just a natural talent, a manifestation of the Holy Spirit. Each one has it. In fact, when we were talking to our pastors, one of our pastors, he was saying, he goes, yeah, I grew up in this Asian church and we did a spiritual gifts test. And we all end up with the gift of accounting.

41:58 he goes and I knew that that just can't be it you know I'm like exactly it's like no you know that's not what I read like there's this manifestation of the spirit and and I said you know what we do in church I think what we do in church is the same thing they do in the world where we find someone who's naturally talented whether he's a speaker or a singer or a leader and we go, okay, we need that person.

42:28 And while I've never said it verbally to anyone, I don't remember anyways, to say I don't need you. By my actions, by the way we run the church, I'm basically saying we don't need you, you, you, you. You can write a check, show up, but I don't need you. If they left the church, I wouldn't notice.

42:51 Hundreds of people could have left the church and I wouldn't notice them because I didn't need them. And I said, could it be in the context of 1 Corinthians of who God chooses, wouldn't it be some of these people in our church right now that no one would pick? That the world would never choose and say, we want that guy. Wouldn't they be the ones that God would give this gift of miracles and healing but because we act like the world and we look for the most talented, gifted, or rich people, we never get to experience that gift. Why don't we instead go to some of these people in our gatherings and find those people that we know love Jesus and have a humility, but don't see, and say, no, love me. Love me so much that you get on your knees this week and say, God, I love these people.

43:49 I love them. I love them so much. so please show me my spiritual gifts so that I can bless them for the common good. Pursue love. Love me enough. And we just got so excited like, you know what, I'm going to go to these people. These people that the world wouldn't choose. These people that would have faith and say, you know what, God's given you something insane for this church. I can't do without you. I need you. I need your gift. Our body is going to be so weak without you. Do you show by your actions and your words that you really do believe in the manifestation of the Spirit and every believer for the common good? And are you teaching them to pray, begging because they love the body so much that God would gift them to bless you.

44:57 I prayed that for you guys this morning. Just going, God, I need you. Don't let me do this in the flesh. Just have the right thoughts come to my mind, Lord. Help me to abide in you. To really be in you. to be open to anything, Jesus. Thank you. I feel like I'm just supposed to ask you, what would repentance look like?

46:00 If you as a leader hear what I'm saying about 1 Corinthians what would true repentance look like before God? There came a point in my ministry where I knew I was wasting the Lord's resources. I'd see thousands of people every weekend and thank each one of them as a manifestation of the Holy Spirit for the common good.

46:58 And yet I'm the only one using my gift. There must be more than this, Lord. I am so sorry. Each one of those created beings is so needed. They've been born again filled with your spirit. I need to figure out how to exercise their spiritual gift.

47:22 Let the Holy Spirit manifest through them. We have to eagerly desire. for us now in this new church I really didn't know what to do a year ago after reading 1 Corinthians and try to think through what repentance would look like. And so the elders and I decided, you know what, let's just start exercising. Let's bring everyone together. Let's try that first. You know, we're still smaller. So let's gather everyone with the elders in the room so that we can discern. Sam really coached me through some of this stuff and helped me out.

48:19 And just have them show up and let's just open it up. And people were scared. Are we going to become one of those? You know, our pastors, that was it. They go, hey, I've been to these types of churches. Where are we going with this? I just, I have to be faithful. but what if someone prophesies something and it's total blasphemy? And I said, well, the elders will be there to discern that and we'll graciously stop it. But let me ask you something else. What if God has a word for us and we don't let that word be spoken? We don't think about that. What if God wanted to tell us something? What if he wanted us all to prophesy and we're not allowing that? We always criticize the person that goes for it and makes the mistake. We don't realize what about all the mistakes that are made every weekend when tons of healing could have happened and prophecies could have been spoken and unbelievers could have fallen on their face.

49:24 I was already in sin because I wasn't allowing the body to manifest their gifts. So at least now I got a chance. You know, and so we brought the congregation together and said, let's just start going for it and praying for healing. And some pretty awesome things happened during those prayer meetings. And we're still exploring, still figuring it out.

49:56 I just know there's more. And... you know how it's like I'd like to speak after I've already pulled something off and say well here's how we did it not when I'm in the middle of it and trying to figure out and still can't heal maybe after tonight if you're really good tonight this morning's didn't do it It got my younger kids sick. You know, I'm still in the middle of things. I will say this. I know God loves me. I know he does. I've seen the way he answered my prayers all through my life.

50:51 Like sometimes I go, God, do you answer everyone's prayers like this? Because this is getting insane. Like exceedingly, abundantly, beyond all I could ask or imagine. in so many different ways in my life. I know what he loves me. So that's that tension, right? I'm not going to get frustrated. There's a part of me like this holy discontent, like, no, I know there's more. And every time I've said that about something, you've come through. And so I'm going to pursue that. I'm going to eagerly pursue it. But meanwhile, I want to remain one of the happiest men on this planet because he dwells in unapproachable light. that no one has ever seen or can see. And then he says, somehow, you're attached to me like a member of my body, like your arm is attached to you.

51:42 That's what I feel about you, Francis. I nourish you. I cherish you. You're like a child in my womb. I love you so much. As much as the Father's loved me, that's how much I love you. like this is my joy this is this is what i live in and i don't want to lose that and so what may my prayer is that we eagerly eagerly eagerly pursue the gifts but we're people who rejoice not that the demons listen to us but that our names are written in that book. And we're children of God. We're family, sons and daughters of a God who dwells in unapproachable light. Father, may we enjoy that and bask in that today. God, I really do want to see more signs and wonders.

52:45 God, I really want you to heal. Even just this, I know it's just a fever. about two hours ago I was on the phone with a guy with ALS who can't even communicate anymore and I'm just praying on the phone the nurse put it next to his ear prayed for his healing God I'd love for the nurse to call back Father we thank you for your gifts but we always want to love the giver so much more.

53:32 God, I don't ever want my kid to love a present more than they love me. I don't ever want a present, a gift I give, to take away from their love for me and their desire to just hang out and play with me and talk to me. and so Father would you just always give us the wisdom God, that we wouldn't be foolish. We recognize, desire the gifts, thank you for the gifts, open the gifts,

54:08 use the gifts. but our boast would always be that we know you, the giver of life, that we walked with a God who created us. Thank you, Father, for making us members of your body. Through the precious blood of Jesus, we rejoice today that our names are written in heaven. Thank you.