The Breakdown: "Identity Crisis"

16:51 Reverend Dr. Frederick Douglas Haynes III, who we are grateful that God continues to use and guide and direct as the shepherd and the angel of this house. And so we thank God for our senior pastor, our first family, amen, in their absence tonight. But if you're watching us online before we get started and before we go deeper into the word of God, whether you're praising or watching in your living room, if you're on the highway, amen, driving from work or on your way to the sanctuary, hit that like button, hit that share button. Somebody somewhere we believe needs the word that God is going to give us tonight. as we go back to the word of God preached on Sunday from our pastor of pastoral care, Pastor Thomas Hayden Garner, a man who preached with power and authority from 1 Samuel chapter 22, the first five verses, and then Psalm 142. And so, so good to have you, Pastor Garner, here with us tonight to take us in a little bit deeper for us to study and to go a little further into the width and the breadth and the depth and the expanse of the word of God that was preached on Sunday. So just a couple of things that I want to do is to highlight some of the fine points from the sermon. Identity crisis. As we closed out our youth children's month, emerging generations as we call them here, our Emerging Generations Month with the focus in the month of August on identity, right?

18:31 Identity rooted in Christ and in culture and so appropriate, so important for our young people as there is a movement afoot to make us forget who we are or to deny who we are or to embrace somebody else's identity in order to have the things that we believe that God says we can have despite of the color of our skin or where we grew up or the neighborhood that we live in. So we closed out, Pastor Garner closed out that Emerging Generations Month emphasis on identity by taking us to those two texts that we're going to lift up with the focus on identity crisis. You said we can come to God however we are, even when our spirits are overwhelmed or when we are wounded, we have the ability to turn to God. You said that if you can't trace God, you can still trust God. That it is time to look to God, that depending on where we are in our journeys, and really maybe no matter where we are in our journeys, in our spiritual experience, it's always an appropriate time for us to look to God. You told us that we can depend on God to give us a sense of direction, that we can trust God to give us a sense of direction.

19:52 You blessed the people with this next point. It's one thing for you to walk out of the cave. It's another thing for the cave to walk out of you. We want to unpack that tonight. You told us we need a plan for getting out of our distress, that God is our divine compass, and that God's path is indeed everything. You helped us to understand that identity is found when we stop looking at ourselves and when we start looking at God. That our identity cannot be determined by our present location, by our present pain, by our present appearance, or by our present circumstances. and then you reminded us from directly from the scriptures that God sees the heart and knows who we are even when our circumstances contradict our calling what a word you told us in the midst of it all God will give us a word that leads us out of prison and into a place of praise from prison to praise from a dulem to Judah. You reminded us that that Gad had a word from God to David.

21:08 Do not remain in the stronghold, but go into the land of Judah directly from the text. And then you told us that we do not have to remain in the place that has confined us, but that God's word gives us permission and direction, instruction, prophetic instruction even, to leave the cave and to walk into praise. I wanted to lift the scriptures for us as we endeavor to read the word of God. I want to read them in the order that you read them, beginning with 1 Samuel chapter 22 verses 1 through 5. This is from the New International Version that David left Gath and escaped to the cave of Adullam. When his brothers and fathers and his father's household heard about it, they went down to him there. Verse 2, all those who were in distress or in debt or discontented gathered around him and he became their commander.

22:13 about 400 men were with him from there David went to Mizpah in Moab and said to the king of Moab would you let my father and mother come and stay with you until I learn what God is going to do for me so he left them with the king of Moab and they stayed with him as long as David was in the stronghold. But the prophet Gad said to David, do not stay in the stronghold, go into the land of Judah. So David left and went to the forest of Heret. And then we went to Psalm 142, written in the context of 1 Samuel chapter 22. Psalm 142 verse 1 says, I cry aloud to the Lord. I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy, I pour out before him my complaint. Before him I tell my trouble.

23:13 When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who watch over my way. In the path where I walk, people have hidden a snare for me. Look and see. There is no one at my right hand. No one is concerned for me. I have no refuge. No one cares for my soul. I cry to the Lord. I say, you are my refuge my portion in the land of the living listen to my cry for i am in desperate need rescue me from those who pursue me for they are too strong for me set me free from my prison that i may praise your name then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me and that is uh psalm 142 in its entirety the word of god for the people of god we say thanks be unto God. Pastor Garner, an awesome message, a timely word that I believe was a blessing to the people of God and to the body of Christ. Talk to us and give us maybe some of the jewels, the diamonds, the rubies, the gold from the cutting room floor on this awesome sermon.

24:23 Wow. Well, first off, let me say this before we jump into that, Pastor Grutter, what a blessing and honor it is to be in the building and the house of God on tonight. And again, thank God to our senior pastor, the person of Reverend Dr. Frederick Douglas Haynes III, who so graciously trusted me to share on Sunday. And so I just thank God for the opportunity to share and to break bread from the word of God with the people of God. And so, again, thank you for those kind comments as it pertains to the sermon. But from the cutting room floor, I would say that oftentimes when we look at the text, when we read our Bibles, we typically see David as shepherd. we typically view and understand David as giant slayer. Uh, we typically in see David's narrative as the one, right. Who, uh, who sinned right against God and, and took Bathsheba and kills her husband and tries to cover it up. We typically see God as this, I mean, David is this one who is a praiser and a worshiper of God.

25:22 And although we know that David laments quite often based on the theological implications of the Psalms, Uh, we never really tap into the identity of David and place his emotions within the context and the backdrop of the old Testament narratives. Uh, one of the things, one of the aims and the goals of the text, um, of the sermon, if you will, uh, for those who listened and those who may go back and listen is to really what Dr. Joel Gregory says is to try to bring the then to now to stand on the razor's edge, to bring the people of God to Jerusalem and paint a picture. so that it can help us, right, see a more clear picture of what's going on in the text. And so this really gives the Bible reader a full sense of the biblical narrative. And therefore, one of the goals within the sermon was to paint that well-rounded picture of David so that we can understand him not only as king, but also, right, one who is getting and prepping to become king, if you will, who has also had moments that have crushed him, moments that have been chaotic, moments of confusion, right?

26:26 as he travels on this life journey, if you will. And so often we see the glorious side of David, but we never really deal with the gloomy side of David. And it's really typical for us to even look at that or to understand that in the lens and the context of today. We only look at this outer appearance. We only see the good side, but we never really look into the gloomy or the ugly side of the narrative or the story, right, if you will, that really helps us get to, right, the glorious side. And so Psalm 142 gives the reader a glimpse of both trouble and assurance. That every time we see trouble, every time we're in trouble, we still have assurance in God that God is the same God who is our refuge, that in spite of what we deal with, In spite of our trials, our tribulations, in spite of sickness, in spite of grief, in spite of heartache, in spite of pain, in spite of whatever jacked up, messed up, ugly or unpleasant situation that we deal with in life.

27:35 There is still assurance in God found in God with God being our refuge. And so Psalm 142 also confirms and rather affirms the idea that God also sees and that God also cares. When we deal with the troubles of life, as David mentions in the text, he's like, hey, ain't nobody here with me. I feel all alone. He doesn't necessarily feel like he has people there to support him. But the text reminds us that the same God who we cry to, who we pour out to, who we lift our voices unto is the same God who sees us and the same God who hears us. And so for Bible study sake, also, if you want to look into this passage even deeper, some scholars would also argue that Psalm 57 is also coupled with Psalm 142. And I'll just take a look at those first two verses where we see the same language of refuge in Psalm 57.

28:38 David says, have mercy upon me, oh my God. Have mercy upon me. For in you I take refuge. I take refuge in the shadow of your wings until my disaster has passed away. So David says, I cry out to the most high God, the God who vindicates me. And so the text is really simple. It's not, it's not, it's not really something that we have to jump over a million loops or hurdles to understand or to comprehend. it's really a message and a text and a passage, right? That really encourages and uplifts us during the time of trouble. Because one thing that we cannot deny is that as we live the Christian life, as we follow after Jesus Christ, I think it's Peter who writes in the new Testament that as we follow the footsteps of Christ and his sufferings.

29:34 So there's always going to be trouble in the land. But when we face that trouble, we do have the assurance that the same God that woke us up this morning, the same God who started you on another day, the same God who blessed you and put food on your table and clothes on your back is the same God who gives us refuge and strength in the time of trouble. If you're watching us online, hit that like button, hit that share button. This is an awesome deep dive Bible study as we go back to the word of God preached from this Sunday. Identity crisis from 1 Samuel chapter 22, the first five verses and then Psalm 142. Pastor, I want you to unpack this a little deeper because putting the two texts in juxtaposition is helpful. helpful because we get to see the fact that David was anointed and antagonized. And I think what you're saying and trying to help us to understand is actually because he was anointed, he was antagonized, right? That there's one thing to endure trouble, right? But as you helped us to see that sometimes trouble, the trouble and the antagonism that we endure is a function of the anointing that's actually on our life, right? So we see a king in a cave and that creates a identity crisis. How does the tension of being an anointed king, but not having a palace, but having to live in a cave to be antagonized by Saul, to be antagonized by the Philistines, and then to only be surrounded by the indebted, the distressed, and the despondent, how does that create for David this identity crisis?

31:34 I believe it creates an identity crisis because one of the things that is typical in the life of many of us is that when we hear or we receive or we believe that God is blessing us or God has anointed us I mean take into consideration David right he has been called from the backside of the pastors he again was minding his business he comes down right he is in the presence of his brothers and those who are in his father's household and, and the oil has not poured for anybody else. And now David has to reconcile with himself. Oh my God, God has chosen me, called me and appointed me and anointed me to be in this King position. And so when you think about all of the troubles that David goes that he goes through. Could you imagine what he's thinking about as he's faced with the trials? I mean, the identity crisis comes with, I'm dealing with something now, but I also have thought about what God has said. And so when we've been anointed and we know that God has a great plan and purpose for our lives, it's easy to fix our eyes on the promise while overlooking the potential pain that also comes with the promise. And so take into consideration Joseph who was favored by his father. He receives his coat of many colors. He's walking around.

33:09 He has this beautiful coat, but he doesn't really take into consideration that one day he's going to be thrown into a pit. He's going to get a glimpse of palace life. He doesn't realize that he's going to have to go through some prison moments and he's going to have to deal with some troubles before he is actually in the space that God had anointed him to be in. And so the tension also sheds light on the reality of divine timing and human urgency. We oftentimes process the reality and the hope of God's timing, right? Being the primary focus that we see. Um, but we rarely, rarely have the patience for God's timing, right? For it actually to play out for us to walk into the fulfilled will of God in our lives. And so he's a fugitive. He's in this cave. He has this call, but his current circumstances doesn't necessarily say king. No, not at all. He's again, he's not in a palace.

34:07 He is in a dark cave struggling and battling with God. What exactly have I gotten myself into? For sure. For sure. And I would even say that for most of us, it's, you know, not simply we're looking at the promise and we're not thinking about the problems. I would say for most people, it's we're looking at the problems and that makes us like almost give up on the promise. Right. So, again, I think that's why I was a helpful juxtaposition to put this anointed fugitive in the cave. right uh and then really like fighting for his life right like that i think that's an important part of the narrative is that he's in the stronghold and you know there's an angry king that wants to kill him you know the descendants behind him and and that is enough to make him potentially give up on the promise but he doesn't right because of how he affirmed how he how he anchored himself in who he understood uh himself to be so go ahead go ahead and then you know it's we also wait in faithfulness um abraham receives a promise but he waits david is anointed but he has to wait paul receives a call he experiences imprisonment jesus right he spends approximately 30 years living and walking around on this earth before he's actually receiving if you will preparation for his public ministry.

35:38 And the question is that we can ask ourselves is also, can we remain faithful to the call even when we don't see the fulfillment before us? Right. No, and I think that's why your title is so helpful, Identity Crisis, right? We have to affirm ourselves or anchor ourselves in who we are in God because the waiting is not easy. Never. I mean, I think the waiting is a fact of the faith, but it's probably the hardest fact of the fact even even jesus said like you know what i'm saying if like you could just let this cup pass for me you know i'll be cool right because the the the the the exigencies and the waiting is actually diff can be difficult so i think that's why it's important for us to understand who we are in god to the point of the sermon right to the point of the title. We have to anchor ourselves in our identity. To that point, help us understand what is the difference between, talking about identity, David's location in the cave and his actual identity as God's anointed. The difference between David's location in the cave And his identity as God's anointed.

36:58 Well, I think when you look at his location in the cave, it's tied to his identity. Help us with that. Just because we are anointed does not mean we will not have to go through cave crises. And so often we, it's easy to say, well, hey, I'm anointed.

37:30 I've been chosen by God. God has called me. I'm going to be used by God. But the location in the cave is a part of the story. It's a part of the narrative. It is a part of us being molded and shaped by God so that we can fully walk into what God has for us. It is the trial. It is the tribulation, right? That's why we say every Sunday morning, if you will, when I look back over my life and think about what God has done for me, I can't help but to thank God. We sang that today. We sang it today. We sang that tonight, right? Right? When we look back and see what God has done. And so the identity of the cave or his identity in the cave is also attached to his anointing. hmm well and so i think that's and i think that's an important point for us to kind of embrace as people of faith is that uh the anointing does not exempt us from the cave but it actually makes the cave more likely maybe in some instances which maybe that's kind of what because he's all right and i like the idea of him being prepared in the cave because but i struggle with it because he was being he was being prepared on the back side of the mountain right tending to his daddy's sheep you know what I'm saying uh and and like it was preparation you know when he went to go defeat Goliath he said I've already killed a lion and I've already killed a bear so what is this Philistine so you don't understand so he's already prepared but but I think what I hear you saying is that every at every instance all that we encounter is God's hand of preparation on our life for that for that next level that that God has taken us to for that next place of purpose that God wants to take us to.

39:22 Let's dig deep into, let's go back to 1 Samuel 22 and 3, where David says, he asked the king, can my parents stay with you until I know what God will do for me? And I think this gets to the what we're just conversing about.

39:46 Help us understand what David is talking about until I know what God is going to do for me. How do we and what does this teach us about trusting God even when we don't know all of the details of how God is going to work that thing out, bring the promise to pass, you know prepare a table before us in the presence of our enemies to quote David right how do we trust God hold on to God wait for God to reveal himself when we don't know when we don't know what the details are well part of that is patience uh something that we all must work on yeah uh but but the key word in that first Samuel 22 and 3 is until this is key because it reminds us that even though the current circumstances are tough it lets us know that we are still on a journey that david he comes out he's in the cave in verse one he comes he's out of the cave physically in verse two and he's still saying i need to figure out what God has for me, right?

41:03 Until I figure out what God has for me. And so David, although he's out of the cave in verse number three, he still doesn't have the totality of God's foresight, right? He just knows that it is God who can lead him. I think that's one of the beautiful things about trusting God is that it, it, it, it strips us of our assurance in self. Oftentimes it's easy, right? To become prideful. I know I can do this because I have this gift. I know I can, you know, uh, accomplish this because I have this behind my name, but, but when we are really trusting God, it says it doesn't matter what I possess or what I think I possess. What I really need to possess is my faith in God. And so sometimes trusting God consists of us not having all of the details or all of the answers. And as believers were challenged with the task to live by power that we cannot see. Um, and so in the world that we live in a culture that we communicate in, uh, seeing is often believing, but David teaches us in the text is that believing that God is able to make a way is actually seeing, right? I think it was St.

42:19 Augustine of hippo who says, uh, that faith is ultimately to believe in what we can not see, but the reward of faith is to believe what we, or rather is to see what we do believe. So he says, I'm gonna, I want my parents to stay with you until I know, meaning, till I come to a confidence in God of what he'll do for me. He's still figuring out. Right. He's still trying to figure things out. Right. And his goal is to kind of have a, to have a knowledge of, to trust God so fully, to trust God so completely that that faith is like a knowing. You get what I'm saying? Right? I mean, I think that's the language that he uses. Until I know what God will do for me. So that faith that you're talking about cultivated through that patience is to produce a faith that is, we don't know it, but we know it.

43:21 Right. You get what I'm saying? And I don't know what God's going to do, but I know he's going to do something. I know God is going to do something. I like that. Let me pivot you to the other text that you led us to on Sunday, Psalm 142. Verses 1 and 2 say, I cry aloud to the Lord. I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out before him my complaint. Before him I tell my troubles. So this is real honest, frank conversation about this ain't I know what God will do for me. Right. This is this is the exact opposite. This is I don't know how it's going to work out, but I'm in close enough relationship to you, Lord, that I can pour out my heart. I can pour out my soul. This is honest.

44:12 This is this is truthful. But how does that how does David's honesty in Psalm 142 challenge our traditional understanding of what it means to be faithful as maybe concealing our pain or concealing our frustration or not vocalizing the fact that me and God got beef? Help us with that. Well, the simple fact that David cries, he lifts and he pours in the midst of this cave crisis reminds us that we have to be vulnerable with ourselves and with God. So often we think that we ourselves are strong enough to handle the circumstances alone. However, when we cry out to God, when we lift our voice to God, when we pour out our complaints to God, we also open the door right for our hearts to be consoled, to be covered, and to be kept by God. So God already sees our pain.

45:16 God knows nothing can get behind or in front of or beside or underneath God. God already knows, but it's helpful for us to become vulnerable enough to say, God, even though I already know that, you know, I still have sense enough to cry out to you in my weakness because I need to acknowledge that it's only God who can help me. And so it's God, the one who is the one who possesses the power. And so also holding in pain only creates a barrier and a buildup for unhinged emotions that are never dealt with. And when things are never dealt with, we sweep them under the rug. We build a mountain of issues of stress. Right. And we never opened the door for freedom and healing.

46:11 When we conceal that thing, whatever your cave is, when we conceal it and we try to hide it and we don't want to deal with it and become vulnerable and cry out and lift and pour out to God, we are waiting for things to bottle up and explode. And so concealed pain also becomes compounded pain. And we have to be honest with ourselves and realize that hidden pain does not disappear. Right? We have to deal with it. I referenced in the sermon, right, we also have to, like, it's one thing to go to therapy, but it's another thing to do the work after therapy, right? We have to deal with our caves, turn it over to God, and not try to do it all by ourselves. And so holding things in is only a pathway to mental health issues that can drive us deeper into the cave crisis, right? When we are not honest and vulnerable with ourselves, family, let me be very, very clear about this.

47:12 It is a way to open up a door for anger, to manifest anger, to manifest anxiety, isolation, exhaustion, and sometimes even spiritual numbness. And so it's important to cry, to lift, right? And to pour, right? That's why sometimes you, you, you, you have been to a, a, a funeral, uh, or witness someone crying and, uh, that auntie or that mother, they're rubbing the back of that person. They say, go on and go on and get it out, get it out, get it out. And that's what we have to do with God in our own way. For sure. Right. In that vulnerable space with God and crying out, pouring out to God doesn't necessarily mean going on Facebook, writing out all your emotions. It doesn't mean that you got to get on Instagram and tell everybody how you're feeling. It doesn't mean that you got to go and tell all of your employees or your coworkers at the job how bad things are.

48:10 Sometimes it could just be in silence on the way to the job. Sometimes it can be in your room at night crying on your pillow. Sometimes it can be breaking down in praise and worship in the shower. Or sometimes it could be pulling over on the side of the road because you have to realize, God, I know I cannot deal with this by myself alone. But right now I need to dump it all at your feet. For sure. And so concealing it, trying to bottle that in, trying to hold it in, it creates room and spaces, again, for those mental health issues, anxiety, depression, right? And you're walking around angry. You're walking around, can't communicate with nobody. got a chip on your shoulder, being ugly to folk, folk trying to figure out what's wrong with you. We need to get up out of that cave.

48:58 So what I hear you saying is that faithful people can still deal with real issues. Absolutely. And that our relationship with God, I don't think I hear, maybe we can clarify that actually. Are we saying that faithful people don't have anger? Right? And I guess if we read Psalm 142, there's some places and spaces where he's actually bearing witness to, you know, the depth of the pain and the anguish. So let me ask it another way. Can faith and frustration, can faith and pain and confusion coexist in the life of the believer? Absolutely. Yeah. But when we look at that, although they can coexist with one another, although they can simultaneously, you know, it can show up, look, in a matter of 15 minutes between the same person.

50:02 It does not necessarily mean that we are supposed to be comfortable in that. Right. Right. Something, the discernment, our desired growth in the Lord, something should drive us to say this is not healthy. And so I think the other part about it is, is realizing when we are wrestling with the reality of anger and anxiety and frustration. Right. Is this something that I want to live with? or is this something I can come out of my cave and until God reveals to me what the plan is, I can still battle and wrestle with that. So you can still wrestle with it. But I do believe that God wants us to heal from that because most of the things that drives us to anger, a lot of times it is unresolved issues that have not been dealt with.

50:59 For sure. And I think what I hear you saying is, you know, this is David's way of dealing with the difficult, of dealing with what is painful and hurtful, right? And I'm asking that so that we can know, right? We talked about what it means to be faithful. We talked about what it means to have faith in God, to root ourselves in our identity. and we need to know that rooting ourselves in that identity does not exempt us from the realities of the difficulties of of life and in fact the psalms of lament which uh psalm 142 i don't know if we could call it a psalm of lament it certainly shares characteristics with one right is are the are the vehicles where the faithful get to say god i don't like this God I'm angered by this or I'm frustrated by this and we need to know that we can actually take those things to God that we can actually take those things to the Lord and that those things don't actually make us less faithful absolutely those things don't make us less faithful they don't make us less faithful but I also would say that our commitment and faithfulness to God is also what drives us to come out of the cave so unpack that for us What does it mean? And you said that on Sunday and I think, you know, was a very powerful point that people left really ruminating on.

52:20 It's one thing to come out of the cave. It's another thing for the cave to come out of you. Unpack that for us. Help us understand what that means. So, so it, so again, going back to the text, David, the Bible says David escapes to the cave in a dulem. he's crying he's lifting and he's poor verse number three in the first samuel text david comes out of the cave physically but he's still wrestling with some things however again in that verse three he says i'm trying to figure out what god is doing with my identity I need to figure out what's going on. And so it's one thing, again, for us to make one step, but there's always another step. Again, I think on Sunday I made the point, it's one thing to go to therapy.

53:16 It's another thing to do the work. It's one thing for us to exit out of maybe a toxic relationship or toxic friendship or a toxic situation. situation, but it's another thing to also put up boundaries so that you can continue to walk into the direction of healing. And so sometimes we claim that we want to leave a cave and we walk around as if the cave, right? Uh, or we're done with the cave, but we still walk out of the cave, but we still have on cave clothes. We, we, we haven't necessarily dealt with, right? Um, the reality of it. So, so, so it's one thing again, to come to worship and lift up your hands, right? Because we know that that's what's supposed to happen in worship, but it's another thing for us to open up our spirit and lift up our hearts unto God so that we can be delivered right from some things so that we can be set free. And I think it's, it's, it's a journey that, that points us to healing.

54:22 And again, so many of us have walked around with cave clothes. So many of us have walked around and we still have, we're physically out of the cave, but we're still acting as if we are still living in the cave. Talk to us about the characteristics of one living in the cave. That's a great question. Characteristics of one living in the cave. But what I did hear you say was boundaries and doing the work of healing, of moving toward a place and space of healing. So what does it mean to be, let me ask it another way. What does it mean to be unhealed? To be unhealed. Let me give you a little bit more context, actually, before you answer that. Because, you know, the word of Dulem is refuge, but it's also, it's refuge, but it's also like a word that's equated with justice for the people right so there's like a justice context to this idea of a dulem and think about the fact that David is again surrounded by all the people who are distressed who are indebted who are depressed they all come to David at a dulem the city of refuge this place of justice for the people and it's and he's made the captain over them. I want us to talk about, talk to us and let's talk about what it means to be unhealed and to what it means to have a kind of righteous indignation, right? And to distinguish between the righteous indignation and an unholy anger for us, right? They come to a dulem, they come indebted and distressed and davis the captain over them so in some ways you know his his anguish is at the fact that there's injustice and these people are the recipients of it but there's another form of anger that's to the point that i think you're making unholy unrighteous and shows us that we're that we're unhealed talk to us help us to distinguish

56:30 between those two as we talk about coming out of the cave and the cave coming out of us Well, I mean, I think, you know, healing in a sense is subjective to whoever that person is. Everyone, all of us have scars. Okay. All of us have wounds. All of us have, right, trials. Yeah. And oftentimes those trials, they do shape, right, who we are and who we can become. And I think one of the ways that we know that we may not be healed is sometimes resentment. Okay.

57:22 And so you can resent, right? you can, you know, um, and I don't know who this may be for, but, but maybe it is, you know, uh, my, my, my mother wasn't there. My father wasn't there. Um, and, and so now, right. When you receive motherly or fatherly love, you don't know how to receive it. Um, because it could be coming from a place of unhealed. And so maybe when you receive that love, right. Then now you neglect it, you don't know how to embrace it. And so I think, you know, what it means to be unhealed is really subjective to whoever the person is. And, and I think that once we realize that some of the fruit that we bear in unhealed seasons may not be healthy for those around us, let alone those, let alone ourselves is that's when we really can make an attempt to seek, right. The face of God so that we can walk into, right.

58:23 Leave from a dulem to a place of praise, to a space of freedom, to a space of healing. And so we all have unhealed spaces. We all are healing from some things now. Right. And again, I think it's a journey. It's something that we wrestle with and deal with on a day-by-day basis. And sometimes, and again, to the point that you made earlier, some days are better than others. you may wake up in the morning and something can trigger you and that trigger can cause you to act out right in an unhealed manner but it's also the discernment of god to help us recognize that when that is when we're bleeding out on people other people on other people when we jump into the car and drive our unhinged emotions into a crowd of innocent people right and other people are affected by that um i'm not doing them justice and i'm definitely not doing myself justice for sure and so there's self-reflection um you know when you are talking or when we talk about the concept of healing for sure if you're watching us online hit that like button hit that share button pastor thomas hayden garner is taking us through psalm 142 and first samuel 22 as we talk about identity crisis pastor i want to push a little further into psalm 142 42. David says, I cry to you, Lord. I say, you are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.

59:57 And again, we know you helped us to understand the context surrounding his experience. We know what's happening to him. His declaration is you're my refuge, my portion in the land of the living. What does it mean to ground our identity in God rather than in possessions or positions or accomplishments or even other people's approval? Because he's anointed the king, but Saul ain't letting him get to that throne yet, right?

1:00:30 And yet his declaration is the same God who found me on the backside of the mountain is my refuge and my portion. What does it mean to ground our identity in God rather than opinions, rather than possessions, position? Talk to us about that. Grounding our identity in God is something that is eternal and everlasting. It points us to the power of the sovereign God who calls us. When we attempt to seek right creature comforts and tangible things and try to wrap our identity in that as refuge, we only create space for a temporary fix. A lot of times we find comfort in people pleasing or we find comfort in tangible things when really we don't necessarily need to jumpstart our cars. We really need a new battery because the world offers temporary happiness.

1:01:40 but God and through God's refuge, we also receive God's everlasting joy. And so because we find joy in the midst of godly refuge, right? Uh, the world can only again, offer that temporary happiness. And so again, it is eternal, you know, finding our identity and, and leaning on our identity in God is something that brings an eternal joy. It's something that people can't snatch from you. It's something that a low bank account can't take away from you. It's something that a low gas tank can't take away from you. It's something that low moments in life cannot take away from you. When we know that our identity is rooted in the God who created the heavens and the earth, It gives us assurance that this too shall pass and whatever I'm wrestling with is only temporary.

1:02:44 And so I don't need to find comfort in. And another thing is we also can find comfort not just in temporary things but also temporary feelings. We find comfort in alcoholism, with drug abuse, right, with sex. I mentioned some of that on Sunday. And a lot of times it'll get us away from that thing for a short period of time. But when it's all said and done and when the feeling has expired, either we go looking for it again. Right. Because while we are ultimately still empty and we have not found that identity in God. And so nothing that the world offers us is enough, right, to sustain us in the midst of cave crises. Yeah. I like that. I think that's a good segue to, and I know we're hastening to the close. I want to ask maybe one or two more questions.

1:03:39 The cave initially offered David protection, but later he describes the same place that provided him protection as a prison. Talk to somebody here tonight who is maybe wrestling with a similar circumstance. how can a place of temporary protection evolve into a place of confinement and imprisonment? Well, David is in this space of protection. So he thinks in a sense, but he's still in a prison. He's in a cave. And so these strongholds, these cave crisis strongholds and and and these situations can oftentimes also be gateways to bad habits that cripple us. Right. Or convince us that we should be and can be comfortable right where we are.

1:04:40 And so if the enemy can convince us that temporary protection is good enough, we can never reach or climb to the full potential, right, that God has for us. So the cave is not designed to keep us bound, right? David said, I'm in a prison, right? That word in the Hebrew text really is a picture and a word that is in relation to death, right? And so remaining in the cave is also right at another day closer, step closer to death, whatever that death looks like, right, for you and I. And so they're not designed to be permanent places of refuge. And then another thing, the Bible doesn't necessarily say God sent David to the cave in the Dulem. The text starts off and says that David decided to go to this cave.

1:05:39 And even in the midst of David making the decision to go hide himself in this cave, God still shows up. Because he still has the audacity to say, God, I'm here. But I'm crying, lifting, and I'm pouring. Yeah. With just a few, maybe 60 seconds, take 120 if you want. I'll give you 300 if you want. Close us out. Give us that final word, maybe something from the cutting room floor, some more of them diamonds and jewels and rubies from the cutting room floor as we close out this reflection on David in the cave of Adullam wrestling with this identity crisis and his declaration that God you are my refuge and I'm gonna make the commitment uh to put my trust in you Saul wants to kill me uh you know the Philistines is out to get me I'm surrounded by the indebted in the distress but you are gonna be my refuge what's that what's that closing word for those of us sitting in here in the sanctuary tonight for those watching online that we can take away and continue to chew on and feast on in the days to come.

1:06:53 I'll give you something real simple. You can put this in your pocket and it's going to be easy to remember that when we walk out of our caves God wants us to walk into spaces of freedom. We have been freed set free because of Jesus Christ. Again, on Sunday, we mentioned, right, we're not bound by our cave. Look, Christ was not bound by the cave. Such a good point. Right? He gets up out of the grave. He comes out of the tomb. And so that challenges us to really think about if Christ has come to set me free, if Christ is not bound by caves and tombs, I don't have to be either. And so we can become free. And it's you can walk into spaces of freedom.

1:07:52 And again, all of us, all of us, those of you who are watching online, we all have horrible cave crises. But God wants us to walk in the freedom that he has given us by the way of the blood of Jesus Christ. And so I am convinced that we are not bound by our circumstances. Somebody may be after you, your job, your folk on your job may get on your nerve. You know, you may have a family member getting on your nerve, get on your nerves. It may be grief on your back. It might be, you know, suffering of whatever you've gone with, whatever that cave looks like for you. God has given us the power and the assurance to walk into freedom. You do not have to be bound by your cave crises.

1:08:52 Can you help me give God praise for Pastor Thomas Hayden Garner? A wonderful word from a wonderful preacher. We were blessed by the word on Sunday. Blessed, Pastor, by this study tonight. you've heard that that that faithful witness uh and the reference to the cave of of david and the tomb of christ and i think that's a good place for us to extend the invitation to discipleship the doors of the church are open you might have heard this word tonight you might have heard the word preached with such power and authority on sunday morning and you want to make jesus the lord of your life you want to commit your life recommit your life to christ So just simply connect with this family of faith. You can do that tonight. If you're in the sanctuary, you can make your way down the aisle and we'll minister to you. Make sure that you get connected to our discipleship ministry so you can grow in the things of God, grow in your relationship.