The D.I.G. · Satisfaction 2 Subtraction · Relationship Goals Reloaded

0:53 welcome TC welcome to transformation church my name is Julia and we're so glad that you guys are in here with us. Listen, if you are here for the very first time, we want you to throw a one in the chat for us. We've got a link that we're going to throw in there. Make sure you click that. We just want to be able to connect with you and say, what's up? Find out a little bit of information about you. And I want to tell you that the vision here is so powerful and so strong. It is representing God to the lost and found for transformation in Christ. And we are so honored to serve this vision and really humble to see how God is transforming lives through this vision.

1:53 And you know what? I think it would be cool for us to shout out a couple of people that are watching with us right now at TC Nation. Come on. I saw somebody from London a little bit earlier. London. London's in the building. Come on. Denise from Houston. Welcome. Denise from H-Town. Come on. Indianapolis is in the building. South Africa, Arkansas. Come on. Wisconsin. Wisconsin. Man, so many people literally from all over the world. We're so excited that you are tuning in with us. And some of you, you've been coming, and this looks a little bit different. You're saying, where's the rebroadcast? Where is my rebroadcast? You know what I'm saying? It's Transformation Church, and y'all know it takes nothing for us to switch it up. And so we felt like the conversation or really the message that Pastor Mike spoke on Sunday was ridiculous, that we had to move the conversation further. We decided that it warranted further conversation.

2:48 So we just want to welcome you into our living room. Come on. Welcome to the living room. Who's living room? That's what it is. This is Amberly's living room. It looks like Amberly. There's a nice little clear glass table. This is Amberly's living room. Listen, this is, we're calling this the dig. This is where we go deeper in God. And really, we're going to take some time and dialogue and have some conversation around this message. Satisfaction to subtraction. Like, oh my God. So listen, I've got a couple of the staff, as you see here, and I want y'all to just take a moment. Charles, we'll start with you. Introduce who y'all are. I mean, I said your name. About to be a daddy of a girl. Charles, and that's the only thing you need to know is I'm about to be a girl dad, and I don't care about nothing else. So Abby could be having a baby right now, and I would have to leave. Abby, please don't. So if I run off the stage, that's why. So, yeah, Charles, so glad that y'all are here today. But look at, I just. I know.

3:39 The cast is always close to the ready. To introduce you, I wanted to give you an introduction, but you go ahead. Well, I'm Tom Todd, man of God, a.k.a. the Captain. Come on. I love it. And I'm so happy to be here on this set with all these wonderful people. You know, God's doing some amazing things here at Transformation. And we just are so happy that you are a part of what we're doing. Absolutely. Absolutely. Amen. Come on. My name. Yes. A new place on the stage. Oh, my goodness. I just realized you were going to have to introduce yourself. You've never introduced yourself. But, yes. Hi, guys. I'm Amberlee. And we are so excited that you've decided to join us tonight. We're just here having a conversation because the message was so, so good on Sunday. Absolutely. And we just know that some of you have questions. And some of you want some more answers of how to actually do this.

4:33 And so we're hoping that maybe some of our impartation, some of our knowledge, some of our life experiences can help you and help you navigate through this next season. And so, listen, if you haven't taken off your shoes, if you're not comfortable yet, go run into the bedroom, put your pajama pants on, you know, the ones that the people go to Walmart in. Sit down on your couch and just have some fun with us tonight. We just want to hang out with you all. Absolutely. Come on, come on. And my name is Demario. Hello, everybody. Man, just so glad to be out here. As we've said, the fact that we get to have a conversation around the Word of God, Like that's really when the magic happens. You know, it's amazing to hear sermons every Sunday, but it's the conversation around that word that allows us to figure out how to apply it to our lives and how to make it personal. And so I'm just so glad that we get to do that tonight. Absolutely. And so just to kind of set up some context, if you haven't watched already, Pastor Michael preached an amazing message this Sunday. And really what he was doing is walking through the life of David and the story of David and Bathsheba.

5:35 And literally, David, you know, when you talk about success, like David was the picture of success. Yeah. He's the one that slayed Goliath. Right. He's the one that that bought reform and bought the nation back to God. He he just did so much. But even in the midst of that, he just like a lot of us, there's a dark side that we all have. And it's fueled by our attraction. And David, just like so many of us, he followed his attraction that he thought would lead to satisfaction. Come on. But it actually ended up in subtraction. You know, for so many of us, we we feel like there's certain things that will satisfy certain things that will make us happy. And then we pursue it just to find out that it takes away from us. So, man, we're going to set up our discussion tonight. We're going to kick it off with this clip. So let's go ahead and watch this and then we'll dig right in to our conversation. is I wanna give you the equation of attraction. Write this down, this is going to help you.

6:30 Attraction plus attention equals interaction. You can never ever stop your attraction. Attraction is neutral, it happens. But you can stop your attention. And when you stop your attention from going to that site, to going to that person, to going to that thing, That will stop and make powerless the interaction. The problem is most of us think that we can be attracted to it and just look at it every once in a while and just talk to it every once in a while and just be around it every once in a while. And I'm telling you, one plus one does equal two. If you are attracted to it and you give attention to it, you will have an interaction with it. Man, that's a whole word right there. Yes, yes.

7:22 attraction plus attention equals interaction. I wish I would have had that formula like 10 years ago. It would have saved me a lot. 27 years ago is when I needed it. Listen, it would have saved me so much time and so much energy. You know, I spent so much of my energy focused on the interaction. You know, trying to, you know, by willpower, like, hey, don't go to that website. Don't make that call. Don't do that. Don't go to this place. But really, the only part of that equation that we have control over is the attention, right? Attraction, you know, obviously the attraction part, you're a byproduct of your environment. So the things that you've seen, the things you've been exposed to, those are the things that help create that appetite. Interaction is just a byproduct of, you know, that attraction plus attention. Attention, that thing, that is the key to that whole formula. That's so good, yeah. So here's my first question.

8:15 You know, some of you at home just might be wondering, like, how do I shift my attention? Right now, my attention is on a certain thing, and I keep getting this certain interaction of this certain product. And so our first question tonight is how do I shift my attention? Kevin, give us some wisdom on that. Well, you know, the first thing I had to do was try to find out the definition of attention. Okay. Because, you know, attention has to do with the mind. And after I researched it, you know, it says it's a concentrated effort to put on your mind things or objects or individuals. But you don't just put your mind on it. You then focus on it. I see the thing that you focus on is the thing that you have most of your energy going toward. And so many of us, as Pastor Michael said, we have something that we can do about what we put our attention on. You can see a pretty girl walking down the street and you can have an attraction towards her.

9:20 But the thing is, you don't focus on it. Me as a married man and a lot of married men, when I got married, my wife is beautiful, but the other women didn't get ugly. Nobody tells you that. Nobody tells you that, Charles. Everybody looks like Shrek once you get married. That doesn't happen. It doesn't. But I had to come to the realization that it wasn't bad for me to be attracted to it, but it was bad when I focused my attention on it. That's so good. Because when I focused my attention on it, then my mind started creating thoughts and imaginations and different things like that and fantasies. So what you have to do is you can control your attention, but what you have to do is you have to shift your focus onto those things that are good, lovely, present, pleasant, and of good report.

10:14 That's what the Bible tells us to do. And the Bible also tells us how can a young man keep his way pure or how can you keep your attention on the things that you're supposed to do by focusing on the Word of God. Pastor Tommy, that's so good. And I just think for so many people right now, it's so important that I think this is a moment of freedom for people. Because a lot of you, the enemy has been using the guilt of your attraction. Like you just, he's already got you in your mind thinking that because I had that or because I saw it or because I noticed. We saw in scripture that David, he noticed Bathsheba. But at the notice, it should have been a no. And so I think for some of you right now, maybe you're in a spot where you're having attraction. Even you're attracted to things that you know are not right. but in this moment, there is freedom for you to understand that you don't have to feel the guilt and the shame of having that moment, but it's what you do after that moment. Amber, what would you continue to say about that? You know, this equation is so fun because honestly, it doesn't take much to change the outcome, truly. And you know, I'm just sitting here, I'm just thinking, you know, maybe some of you are not thinking that, you know, it's not websites, it's not pornography, it's not, you know, I'm not walking into Walmart looking at other men thinking, where, I mean, find me a fine man here at Walmart. That's not my problem. You're going to the wrong grocery store.

11:28 I need to go to Trader Joe's or Sprouts or come up a level or something. I don't know. But that's not my struggle. If I'm being fully transparent, the thing that takes my attention, Pinterest. Okay. Cause I want to be a better home decorator. I want to be a better mom. I want to make those designer looking meals. So it's Pinterest, it's house, it's Facebook, it's Instagram, it's seemingly subtle things that get my attention, okay? And the attraction is neutral. Like, it's going to be out there. I mean, Facebook, Instagram, Howes, Pinterest, those things, like, they're attractive. I mean, come on. They're made to appeal to us. But it's how much attention do I give to those things? Because the problem is, as a mom, what I've found, when I give too much attention to Pinterest, then all of a sudden, I'm struggling with mom guilt. Because I don't mom like you, mom. I don't look like that, mom. I don't cut out her some little hearts out of her sandwich that she goes to school with. And then now that thought, like you said, has fed in my mind and I'm feeding it. And then the interaction is the complete opposite of what I'm going for.

12:34 And so one of the things that I have personally had to do is instead of going to Pinterest and instead of spending those extra minutes on Instagram and on Facebook and on Howes and all those websites like that, or let's talk about target.com. Come on now. Where are the women? Listen, women, if you like target.com, just go ahead and put it there. Just repent. Just do it. It's fine. Listen, that's where I have to say, okay, God, you know what? I don't need to go to those sites. I am more than enough in you. That's when I spend time in the word. That's when I spend time reading. That's when I spend time praying and worshiping. And I change those things that I've diverted my attention to so that I can have a different. This is Jenny Garth from I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. We spend a lot of time talking about our health, but sexual health should be part of that conversation too. I know because I've experienced low libido myself and it can leave you feeling frustrated and wondering what happened to that part of me. That's why I started taking Addy. Non-hormonal Addy is the only FDA approved treatment for both pre- and postmenopausal women under 65. Clinically proven to increase sexual desire, Addy helped me reconnect with my desire and Addy is as little as $20 per month with commercial insurance coverage. Addy, flibanserin, is a prescription medicine for women under 65 with low sexual desire that is distressing to them. Addy is for low desire that happens in all situations and is not caused by a medical condition, relationship issue, or medicines.

14:02 Addy is not for men or to enhance sexual performance. Addy can cause severe low blood pressure and fainting. Your risk is higher if you drink alcohol close to your dose. Don't take Addy if you have liver problems, take certain medicines, or are allergic to any of its ingredients. Before taking Addy, tell your doctor about all the medicines you take. If you've had any mental health conditions, are pregnant, planning pregnancy, or breastfeeding. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, tiredness, trouble sleeping, and dry mouth. Coverage for Addy is for eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See terms and conditions. Visit Addy.com. That's A-D-D-Y-I dot com to learn more, including important warnings. Different interaction and a different outcome. That's so good. Man, Amberlee, even as you were kind of just talking about that, I'm a mom too, so there's so many different things that try to take our attention. And there's so many things that we constantly fight. And for some, you may be saying again that those aren't the things.

14:55 For guys, it could be video games. And it's like, man, if I do this, this makes me feel better. Or if I do that, and we end up calculating that to, like, this is what makes me feel good. And so we give it so much of our attention. And so that's so powerful. And it also ends up making us compare ourselves with something else that God never designed us to be comparing with. That's so good. You know, one thing about that equation is that interaction is automatic when you put the first two together, attraction plus attention. And I think, you know, and we hear this a lot, that like you can look but don't touch. But it's like, damn. And the enemy really tricked me for a long time with that. It's like, oh, you know, I'm not really hurting anybody looking at this. Come on, come on. You know, it's not affecting anything. But it's like me looking, me paying attention to that thing, that is the lead up to interaction. Like interaction is inevitable when you put that attention on that attraction.

15:52 That's so good, D. You're saying something so powerful. And what Jesus did is he raised the standard. So Jesus, people would say, some of you are thinking adultery is bad, but he said, if you look at a woman with bad intention in your heart, you've already done the same. Some of us, we need to raise the standard. Like we just thought, well, if nobody finds out or if they just don't know, or if it doesn't affect my kids or if my husband doesn't know it, like this is a moment I think for us, if we're going to really see the things in God come through us, that we have to raise the standard and say, you know what? I'm not even going to give my attention to those things. I think sometimes we give, there are issues that we struggle with that if we just would have taken away our intention, it never would have happened. And now God has to heal us of things we were never supposed to be around. That's so true. So good. That's why what we're talking about is taking this equation into reverse. And maybe you're asking yourself, like, how do I do that? How do I spend time with God? These are practical handles that we want to give you guys.

16:45 Like, wherever you're at, start there. Like if it's just getting into the word for five minutes, you know, open up the book, get into that for five minutes. You're like, okay, God, I don't know what this means, but I need you to bring clarity. Find some community, people around you, all of those. It's practical. You don't have to go in 30 minutes or an hour. Join us for prayer, noonday prayer. It's a perfect way just to start and dive in. But this is the first part. We want to continue to dig in. And listen, we've got hosts in the chat. And so this is not just us having a dialogue, but we want you to have a discussion. Allow the Holy Spirit to examine you. So begin to answer. There's people on there that want to talk with you. But let's go ahead and check out this next clip. Look at 2 Samuel 11, verse 26. When Uriah's wife heard that her husband was dead, she's a fraction now, she mourned for him. She didn't want that thing to die.

17:41 She didn't want that to happen. She would, just think about it from Bathsheba's standpoint. She was in a herbal essence commercial taking a bath, washing her hair. She gets sent for. The king is like, baby, let's do this. They sleep together. She gets pregnant. Her husband dies. She didn't want this to happen, so she mourned. But watch this. When the period of mourning was over, look at this fool David. David sent for her. You done crying? Come on, baby. That one thing we did, that was nice. And he brought her to the palace and she became one of his wife. Then she gave birth to a son. Watch this. But the Lord was displeased with what David had done. It doesn't matter if everybody is cool with your offense if the Lord is displeased. It doesn't matter if now y'all in a relationship and we good now and we about to get married and we're going to try to make it right now. It doesn't matter if the business was successful but it started off crooked. It doesn't matter if we do all this stuff.

18:56 It doesn't matter if everybody sees you successful, a CEO or whatever. It doesn't matter if everybody's cool if the Lord is displeased. Listen, that, my God, like it's a samurai just came through sliced and diced. Like it doesn't matter if everybody is cool and the Lord is displeased. What's funny about that is oftentimes all of us, we use our community to hype us up and to co-sign our dysfunction. yeet like come and hype me up you know like we put that out there and that's from our friends that's from the things we want to put on that is from like literally everything though our spouses like we're looking for our friends to co-sign it more than we are looking for god yeah god god to be pleased with the decisions that we're making jules the thing that this makes me think of is i've heard so many of of women say they've had a rough day at work long day right the kids are a hot mess. The house isn't clean. Husband ain't doing what he's supposed to be doing. Things are not working out right. So they just have a glass of wine. Just a glass of wine.

20:07 And then they call their girlfriends. They text their girlfriends and they're like, listen, today's been rough. And so that girlfriend says, just get you another glass of wine. Co-signing it. That's what you're talking about. And it starts so innocent. It's just that one glass. Nobody's been drunk. Nobody's been making a fool of themselves. But that one glass needs to the next glass, needs to the next. And then what happens is before you know it, those glasses of wine don't do what they don't do enough. So now you got to have the bottle and you got to keep going. And you've got these friends who are co-signing and saying, girl, it's okay. You had a rough day. You need that bottle. That's exactly what you're talking about. That's so good. Listen, I think when we, when we're talking about this community is a, is a major factor. This is Jenny Garth from I choose me with Jenny Garth. We spend a lot of time talking about our health, but sexual health should be part of that conversation too. I know because I've experienced low libido myself, and it can leave you feeling frustrated and wondering what happened to that part of me. That's why I started taking Addy. Non-hormonal Addy is the only FDA-approved treatment for both pre- and post-menopausal women under 65. Clinically proven to increase sexual desire, Addy helped me reconnect with my desire, and Addy is as little as $20 per month with commercial insurance coverage. Addy Flibanserin is a prescription medicine for women under 65 with low sexual desire that is distressing to them.

21:28 Addy is for low desire that happens in all situations and is not caused by a medical condition, relationship issue, or medicines. Addy is not for men or to enhance sexual performance. Addy can cause severe low blood pressure and fainting. Your risk is higher if you drink alcohol close to your dose. Don't take Addy if you have liver problems, take certain medicines, or are allergic to any of its ingredients. Before taking Addy, tell your doctor about all the medicines you take. If you've had any mental health conditions, are pregnant, planning pregnancy, or breastfeeding. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, tiredness, trouble sleeping, and dry mouth. Coverage for Addy is for eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See terms and conditions. Visit Addy.com. That's A-D-D-Y-I.com to learn more, including important warnings. So I want to throw this to you, Pastor Tommy. How have you used your community to co-sign? Now, don't get me wrong, Kev. I know this may not be like your today, but like, I mean, we're going to throw back a little bit. You got to go way back.

22:23 It's been a while since I had dysfunction. Yeah, well, it is not my today, but I have had some dysfunction in my life. And the dysfunction that I had was when I was in college. You know, I came from a small town in Alabama. You know, I was a church boy. Grew up in church. Mama, president of the choir, daddy, president of the deacon board. You know, the evangelists come to our house. He stayed at our house. He comes to do a revival. He stays at our house. It made me mad because he eat up all the food because we have to wait till he get through eating. But, you know, that led to some of my dysfunction. But the thing that I most remember was when I left home at 17 to go to college, I went to an all-black college, an HBCU in Louisiana, Grambling State University. Go Tigers.

23:15 And what I did was I was so insecure about being around kids from Chicago, L.A., New York, Las Vegas, Philadelphia. And I'm coming from nowhere, Alabama. And, you know, all these kids were the cool kids, and they were doing things and drinking the drugs, the girls, the parties, all that stuff. And you want to fit in. So rather than trying to give attention, I was trying to get attention. and then I start doing things that I saw them do and so I said well I'm going to join one of these fraternities because if you're in a fraternity you're cool and people accept you and different things like that and so I built myself a community of guys that was nothing like what I grew up and they just started influencing me to be someone that I knew I was not actually I was pretending to be I remember one of my roommates, he was just from Detroit, and he had weed in the trash can.

24:21 And, you know, one time I came in there, and they were smoking. It was so much cloud in there, you would have thought the glory of God was up in there. You had to cut the smoke and stuff. But just to be cool, he said, here, Hop. That's my yard name, Grasshopper. Here, Hop. Hop. Oh, my God. Can I call you Pastor Hop? Is that? I want to. He said, take something. So he passed me the joint. And what I did was I know I wasn't going to smoke no joint. But to be accepted, I put it up to my mouth. And I've been watching, so I know what to do. So I put it up to my mouth, and I just made this ugly face.

24:58 Didn't inhale nothing. And just pass it on on to the next. I can't do it. I can't do it. But, you know, that was I was allowing the community to influence me and to bring me into a character that was not the character of God. And what I did was I started recognizing that that was not who God created me to be. So what I did was I started going back to what I knew. I started going back to where I came from. And I started reading my Bible. I started going to church. And even though I still gave the parties on Saturday night, I was in church on Sunday morning. Progressional. Progressional. Come on. It's the process. But my wife, my beautiful wife, started a gospel group. And she wasn't my wife then, but she had eyes for me, you know, because I had built up my reputation on campus, you know.

25:55 Was you the captain back then or was this grasshopper? I was the drum major back then, you know, the Gremlin Tiger Marching Band. But, you know, she was Miss Gremlin and I was the drum major. And she started a group and I got in the group. And then I just started being around a different community, people to build me up and bring me back to the roots of where I came from. And so God just started working on my heart. And that's the thing that you have to know. If you go one step, God will meet you right where you are. That's so good. So in the chat, just say, meet me where I am, God. That's good. Meet me where I am. And he will do it. But you have to know that God has something better for you. And you can't let your community influence you like that. That's so good. Pastor Tommy, as you were saying that, I thought of my granny Estelle. She would always say, if you hang with nine broke friends, you're bound to be the 10th one. She would always say that. But I think sometimes we downplay the effect that other people have on our lives.

26:55 And honestly, it's a pride to think that I could hang around you and what you have not get on me. and I see it as an illustration like if I had paint, if I was covered in red paint and you were covered in blue paint I couldn't give you a hug without what was on me getting on you and so many times in our friend circles we lie to ourselves and say I can be around it but it won't happen to me I can be around people who are sleeping around I can be around these friends all my guy friends are single and they're hooking up with all these girls but my marriage is still going to be okay we lie to ourselves of the truth of what we can handle and then we find ourselves. And what I love what you said is you found yourself in situations that you knew wasn't you. Like you knew it wasn't your character. You knew it wasn't. And that's the thing. So many people, maybe you find yourself in a spot where you're doing things, you're trying to. And the thing you said, it was trying to please other people. It was trying to, instead of pleasing God, I was trying to make them like me.

27:49 And that's the thing. We cannot really walk in our purpose until we find our identity in God. And as we look at this story, you know, there's David's community. There was someone that entered into his life that if you're honest, you don't want this person initially. Like you don't. And this person was Nathan. Nathan came into his life and he was a friend that knew what was in David and wouldn't allow him to live the life below the standard. And that's the thing we have to understand. We have to have friends in our life that know what's on the inside of you and that are committed. here's the thing committed to what God put in you not what makes you comfortable what we do is we have friends who are committed to our comfort and they're not committed to our calling but Nathan was committed to what God had put on the inside of David and he literally comes up to him and I love it because he plays him he tells him a story he's like I want to tell you this story there's this guy you know and this guy and he pretty much describes David's story and David's like let's take him out like let's get and he's ready to do it and he's like hey brother that's you like and I think we need friends in our life that love us enough, that care about us enough to say, hey, like, I know you set a standard before and you're living beneath it.

29:03 I know you said you would be this type of husband, but you're not doing it right now. And I think it takes humility. It takes, you know, we talk about having a culture of being hot, humble, open, and transparent. And it takes that culture and having friend circles to understand, man, you are who you hang around. Like, good company corrupts bad, or bad company corrupts good character. And that's the thing. We can find ourselves so many times in places where we didn't want to end up there. Like, we didn't. We never thought. But it was the community we had around us that made that happen. Charles, it's so funny because if you think about it, like, if you think about your friend groups, and even the people that you work with, like, if you're the one that's giving all the advice, if you're the one that's giving all the wisdom, if you're the one that has all the answers, you might need some new friends. That's so good. Because you need to be surrounded by people who are going to challenge you and who are going to encourage you and take you to that next level. Like I think about Max Lucado.

29:56 He's one of the greatest authors, leaders in the world. And he talks about how you should never be the number 10 in the room. One to 10, 10 being the highest. You should never be the number 10. When you're the number 10, you need to look around and get out. Wow, that's so good. Because you need to go somewhere where you become the five and you can be challenged by all the 10s. And if in your friend circle, I mean, just take it just for a brief moment, wherever you're at, sitting on your couch. Maybe you took a bathroom break. Maybe you went to the kitchen. You wanted a piece of pizza. Okay, maybe you're with your vies. Just take a minute and close your eyes and just think about that friend circle. What does that look like? Are you the one that's raising the rim? Are you the one that's raising the bar in that friend circle? And if you are, it's not that you're not needed for those friends. Now, don't get me wrong. You ain't got to write everyone off. But you need to find people that will challenge you and elevate you and move you to that next season and to that next place. That is so good.

30:52 You know, I'm thinking about. This is Jenny Garth from I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. We spend a lot of time talking about our health, but sexual health should be part of that conversation, too. I know because I've experienced low libido myself and it can leave you feeling frustrated and wondering what happened to that part of me. That's why I started taking Addy. Non-hormonal Addy is the only FDA-approved treatment for both pre- and post-menopausal women under 65. Clinically proven to increase sexual desire, Addy helped me reconnect with my desire, and Addy is as little as $20 per month with commercial insurance coverage. Addy, flibanserin, is a prescription medicine for women under 65 with low sexual desire that is distressing to them. Addy is for low desire that happens in all situations and is not caused by a medical condition, relationship issue, or medicines. Addy is not for men or to enhance sexual performance. Addy can cause severe low blood pressure and fainting.

31:47 Your risk is higher if you drink alcohol close to your dose. Don't take Addy if you have liver problems, take certain medicines, or are allergic to any of its ingredients. Before taking Addy, tell your doctor about all the medicines you take, if you've had any mental health conditions, are pregnant, planning pregnancy, or breastfeeding. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, tiredness, trouble sleeping, and dry mouth. Coverage for Addy is for eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See terms and conditions. Visit Addy.com. That's A-D-D-Y-I dot com to learn more, including important warnings. The friend circle that David had before Nathan got there, right? The Bible says that like he sent somebody to go get Bathsheba. It's like, who was that somebody that helped him that basically, like you said, co-signed on his dysfunction? You know, it just makes you think, yeah. It's like, who was that friend circle? That boy didn't have your back. And that's the thing. Sometimes we think it's them having our back. Like my boys got me.

32:40 And your boys are the reason you got those issues. Come on. Come on. I call it lethal loyalty. You know, there's a such thing as being loyal to a fault. Like there's a such thing as like, look, you've gone too far in your loyalty. And so it's like, man, we need those people that will not co-sign and that will not help us to do our dirt. That's so good. That's so good. As you're saying that, and you said this a little bit earlier, babe, that you talked about accountability. Like our friend circle should be accountability. And for many of us, that's a curse word. Like we're like, look, can't nobody check me, boo? Who going to check me, boo? You know, and it's like, I don't want nobody checking me. And I don't want to expose or be so open to somebody to allow them to speak into these deep things. Or really the other thing is that we look at some of the people that God has assigned to our lives to be Nathan. We label them enemies.

33:36 They're your haters. They are haters. We over here like, you just had the hater. No, but it's God who assigned somebody to your life that cares so much about us, so much about you, to say I'm willing to fight with you, fight for you because there's a call and a plan on your life. Like, okay, I don't want friends that are going to co-sign my dysfunction. I need friends that are going to expose it, confront it, and help me fight. There you go. Like, I don't need anybody else in my circle. And so who you have in your community, it matters. It makes a difference. And that's the thing. I think there are people right now that, and I heard somebody say one time that there are different relationships in your life that act as scaffolding. When you're building something, there's scaffolding on the outside of the building where it has to be. And for a season, it's needed. But what happens is it gets to a point where it would look ridiculous if that stayed on the outside.

34:32 There are people in our life that in a season, in sixth grade, they were your boys and they held you down. But now you're a grown man and you've got kids to take care of. And the thing that was building you in one season now looks ridiculous in another. I think it's so important that we don't get so attached to our friend circles and our comfort. And really, what you were saying, Amberlee, was so powerful about being the tenant. It feels good to be the tenant in the room. It makes you feel like you're. But the problem is, is that feeling of pride is the exact same thing that robs you from growing into who God's called you to be. That's so good. I think back to a story with one of my best friends, and I had this boss, right? And this boss, they did everything. Like, I mean, this man literally was trying to fire me, okay? So, I mean, he made me do more than anybody else made me do. All of those, I mean, Sabotage would talk about me. And so my peers began to look at me a little bit differently.

35:26 and even some of the higher ups begin to look at me differently. And the thing about it is that what he did caused me to start looking to, you know, not sabotage. What's the word? Revenge. Yeah, baby. I was getting into that culture, like revenge. Like, hey, okay. So I was telling my best friend about this and it was like, okay, so I'm going to get your boss. You get my boss because she was having some problems too. You know, like we was in it because here's the thing. My man is messing with my coins at this point and he's messing with my reputation. like at that moment I had every right to do something different but it was because of somebody who was in my friend circle now she sobered up before I did and so she said um but seriously like have you ever considered that God is requiring more of you because of your call and because of the assignment come on when I tell you she left me bleeding like she straight up came for me But those are the type of people that we need and we have to have in our lives in order for us to move forward.

36:27 Like God gave us community and he's blessed us with so many people. That's so good. I think there, you know, there was, I was just reminded, there's actually, it was so random. It was a couple of years ago when we were doing a series called All Strings Attached. And we talked about friendships and there were three types of friendships in there, but you need friends that will fight for you. So you need friends that like, when you don't have the energy, when you don't have the faith, when you don't want to, they'll fight for you. You need friends that will fight alongside of you. So there are times where we're side to side and we're fake, but then you need friends that will even fight against you. And they love you enough to say, hey, I'm not going to let you go. And so I just want to challenge everybody to maybe look at your friend circle and say, do I have friends that are fighting for me, that are fighting next to me, and that are sometimes fighting against me? And some of you, I really believe your friend circle is going to have to change. You can't go to the next place keeping the same friend circle. And I think it's going to take the power of the Holy Spirit. It's going to take wisdom to know how to have those conversations.

37:21 You said it so clearly, Amberley. It's not that we retract and it's like, I only hang around tens. Like, only if you're saved and speaking in tongues. That's the only people I hang around. No, Jesus, he hung around. Here's Jesus at the example. Jesus hung around people that other people wouldn't hang around. But also, it said Jesus withdrew often. He got around someone. He got around God. He had people who he was pouring into. He had people that he was, but there were moments where he said, I have to have a different type of relationship. and that's I think so key for us to have different types of relationships I like how you said that you have friends that will actually fight you you got somebody to fight you well no I don't have a specific example but you know I thought about the scripture that the wounds of a friend are faithful you know the fact that you have people that are willing to check you you know when you don't feel good when you don't like it I think about myself and one of my honestly one of my biggest battles was was and still is, you know what I'm saying, as far as like keeping it off, was pornography.

38:21 And literally, I mean, I had everything going right. I had the word going. I had worship. I was in church. Went to a Christian university. Like all these different things. But the one thing that I really needed was that Nathan. Like I needed that person that, number one, I could be honest with. You know, we talk about hot. We talk about being transparent. I needed that person that I could be. because here's the thing about your Nathan is that you need a person that you can be hot with, but they won't use it against you, right? That's good. The fact that I could be hot with my guy and he still believed in me. He still believed in the call. You're anointed, D. You got it. You're the head and nothing. Like he would always still speak life even when I told him, man, I just fell again. I just missed it again. And so that Nathan, it just that person has the power to help you through those moments Because really, when you talk about even just managing temptation, so much of it is just getting through a moment. We're not tempted 24-7.

39:18 We have moments where it's like, oh, all this pressure's in. Wife, kids, work, everything's just closing in on me. And so it's like if you had that person who in that moment you could reach out to or who just felt you. This is Jenny Garth from I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. We spend a lot of time talking about our health. But sexual health should be part of that conversation too. I know because I've experienced low libido myself, and it can leave you feeling frustrated and wondering what happened to that part of me. That's why I started taking Addy. Non-hormonal Addy is the only FDA-approved treatment for both pre- and post-menopausal women under 65. Clinically proven to increase sexual desire, Addy helped me reconnect with my desire, and Addy is as little as $20 per month with commercial insurance coverage. Addy, flibanserin, is a prescription medicine for women under 65 with low sexual desire that is distressing to them. Addy is for low desire that happens in all situations and is not caused by a medical condition, relationship issue, or medicines.

40:19 Addy is not for men or to enhance sexual performance. Addy can cause severe low blood pressure and fainting. Your risk is higher if you drink alcohol close to your dose. Don't take Addy if you have liver problems, take certain medicines, or are allergic to any of its ingredients. Before taking Addy, tell your doctor about all the medicines you take. if you've had any mental health conditions, are pregnant, planning pregnancy, or breastfeeding. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, tiredness, trouble sleeping, and dry mouth. Coverage for Addy is for eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See terms and conditions. Visit addy.com. That's A-D-D-Y-I dot com to learn more, including important warnings. Here's the thing about my guy. He's so cold that he lives in another state. He lives in Atlanta, and he's been there for like 10 years. But literally, like, God would put me on his heart and say, I just feel you. That's so good. Like, it's one thing to have a person that, like, can look at you and say, man, are you doing good? My guy, he like, D, I feel you.

41:12 What's going on? And he would literally reach out. And so that Nathan is so important. Those kinds of friends are so important to make sure that you have in your circle. You know, I was just thinking about relationships in marriages. You know, a lot of marriages fall apart because they don't have the transparency with one another. And we have to understand that in marriage, you are one with me. We are one. I'm stronger when you're stronger. And when you're weak, I'm weaker. So we have to understand. I remember when I was working in New Orleans for an engineering firm. and Brenna had graduated and she moved down. We got married and she moved down to New Orleans. And I told her one day because, you know, New Orleans is sin city, boy. I mean, you go down on Bourbon Street, Jackson Square, you can see anything at any time, you know.

42:06 And I came home and I told my wife, I said, Baby, you're going to have to pray for me because these women out here don't care that I'm married. If they know that you got a good job, They know that you kind of halfway got some swag. They coming at you. You had that hat on. You had more than a little bit of swag. You hear what I'm saying? They coming at you. And what I had to do was be honest, open, and transparent with the person that was closest to me in relationship. That's so good. And so many times, husbands and wives, they aren't honest with one another because they think that the other person will turn their back or then talk about them or put them down. But we have to learn in relationship to love unconditionally. We all have faults. We all have weaknesses. There are things and temptations that comes against all of us. So we have to realize that the enemy is real and he knows your weak spots. So then you have to tell your Nathans your weak spots.

43:05 That's so good. Because they don't know your weak spots if you don't tell them. Yeah, that's so good. Because if you keep it in your heart, then they can never address the issue. So we got to be able to tell those Nathans. That's so good. You know, Pastor Michael, he said he talked about being, you know, open and transparent, the difference between honesty and transparency. Honesty is giving the truthful answer when the question is asked. Transparency is offering it up. And he said all the time, but there's a lot of questions that people won't ask you. And so you're like, if they would just ask me, you know, at midnight what I was doing on my Internet, then I would tell them. But it's like, but there are people in your life that you're going to have to go to. You're going to have to say, hey, like, this is kind of random. We've never talked at this level, but this is what I'm really struggling with. And I just think it's so important in this conversation. And for so many people right now, I think it's so important that you're honest with yourself. Sometimes we can glorify.

43:57 That's what, yeah, some people we glorify, even like what we call like the glory days. Like these are my people or they're my friends or we've been friends for life. And really, if you were to look at it, your attitude changed when you got those friends. Like you were always, like if you were real, you weren't always like that. You weren't always that insecure. You wouldn't always talk to people that way. But we just think, oh, it just happened and, you know, just life and just all these things. But really it was the people that we had around us. It was the people. It's crazy. As Pastor Tommy was talking, you know, I thought about just our marriage. You know, for many of us, we don't recognize that God has graced us for one another. If you're married, like I have the grace for Demario's faults and his failures, but I've got to create a safe place where my husband can expose what's going on. And there are times where in the past where the enemy is taunting him and he's rehearsing. My wife loves me.

44:51 My wife cares for me. My wife is for me. And for me, it's like I can't take the position of of nagging and being on him. But I am one of I am his strongest accountability partners. partners. And there are things that I could fight in the spirit and ask God to give it to me. But if he can just expose it right at the moment, we begin to disarm the enemy from trying to be divisive in our marriage. But it takes me or the individual having grace to say, baby, it's okay to not be perfect. I'm not going to use that against, I'm not going to arm and even to check them out. We had a code. What was it? 187? 187? I'm about to bust you upside your head. You turn your neck again, boy.

45:37 187, DeMario. I don't know. It was one of those things that we use to say, hell, I'm in trouble. Like, let me throw that out there. Now, that didn't give him permission that if I was unavailable for him to pursue, but it stopped it in the moment. The moment. And, Jules, you said something. You just helped so many marriages right there. And I love it because you have to have a level of security, not in DeMario, in God. You have to be secure in God enough for your husband to come up and say things that may. And that's the thing, wives, it's so powerful. And I'm saying this from even seeing y'all's marriage and what Abby has done for me of creating a place where she's secure enough to be able to say, like, I can say, hey, I'm really not feeling or I'm struggling in this area. And I think that's so important for marriages to focus and say, man, I have to create a safe place. It doesn't matter. Like if you want to grow, it's God and it's the tension because you want to have an open relationship and a transparent and I want to know. But some of those things you want to know can be hurtful.

46:36 And you have to be able to take that thing to God and trust him with it. That was so good. That's what I was going to say. You have to be secure in God because just because like with him and past just dealing with porn, it didn't mean that I was deficient in anything. And there are times where the enemy takes it and he taunts us. And then we begin to compare ourselves with other women or with other things. Like, I'm not going to. And that's what the enemy pounces on that. And then all he can do is plant a seed. Now, we start running with it. But what we have to do is stay secure in who God has made us. And be like, okay, dad, you called me to be his help me. Like, I'm going to ride or die. Like, we're going to be like Barney Rebel. If the wheels fall off, we're going to keep running. I'm going to fight with you. We got this. We're going to overcome this thing together. Flintstones, baby. It's so true. But you know what? You just said something so powerful. Like if you think about marriage and if you're married, we just want, type in the chat right now. I'm one of them married people.

47:30 Just let us know. If you're one of them married people and you got that marriage out there and you know what these people are talking about and you've struggled with this in your own marriage, let's be honest. Let's keep it real because honestly, that's where healing comes from. But when you think about a married couple, two different people, the Bible is so clear about marriage that the two become one. There is no better person to pray for you than the person that you've become one with. It's so much easier to let that, to let yours, to be honest with your spouse, the person that you are now become meshed and one with than it is to let a perfect stranger come pray for you. You ain't got to go to the altar.

48:16 And I just, man, just thinking about all of this, like your spouse is built for your battle. That was something that, you know, like Jewel said, I had to rehearse over and over. Like, she loves me. I can come to her. She's actually in the battle with me. Just different things that you have to even renew your mind. And as a man, you know, as a man, it's like I'm supposed to be the strong one. I'm supposed to be the rock. I can't be faltering and be weak. But even when you think about David and Nathan and their relationship, like David was the man. And, you know, Nathan was one of his, a part of his staff. But literally, like, that was the guy that God had built for David. So, anyway, wow, we just went on. That was a good one. That was a good one. Well, family, look, hey, we're going to throw to another clip. There's another powerful principle that P. Mike has for us to really overcome and to get our attention on the right thing. Check this out. That's good. Because many of you are like me. You were led by your attractions for many years, and it continued to have interactions and it's subtracted from you.

49:16 Well, attraction can equal subtraction, but listen to this. Repentance can bring restoration. This is what I've told this whole story for. Why did I spend two weeks talking about this? Because I wanna let you know about the grace of God. repentance can lead to restoration restoration means to be restored better than new I don't know who I'm talking to but as I was going down this slippery slope that made some of us feel like as you were in a pit you felt like David at this moment where God's saying there's consequences for what you've done but if you would repent if you would turn from living your life the way you've been living it going the way that you've been going talking the way that you've been talking watching the things that you've been watching if you would everybody say turn that's all the word repent means it means to turn and some of us will not turn and not just turn it's turn to God after David found out that he was going to be subtracted from look what happened to him in 2 Samuel chapter 12 verse 13. I love this. This is the attitude that many of us are going to have because I don't know what you've done and I don't know. I only know what I've done, but this is the remedy to it. Then David confessed to Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord.

50:53 Watch how quick God's grace is. Nathan replied, yes, you sinned, but the Lord has forgiven you. I want you to see how quick grace rushes in to anybody who turns he said I have sinned I've done the wrong thing and Nathan says yes you've sinned but the Lord has forgiven you the grace of God is not trying to make you suffer he just needs you to recognize that you couldn't do this without me you won't be able to live pure without me you won't be able to get out of these toxic relationships without me. He said, I need you to, everybody shout at me, repent. Oh, repent. Whoa. That right there, that is the remedy. But that was actually one of four R's that Pastor Michael mentioned on Sunday. The first one, you know, he said that first you have to recognize. Then once you recognize, we take responsibility, right? It was me, I did it. And then we go, we repent. We simply turn and in that God is able to renew us. So we just want to take a minute. We want to talk through all of those, those are. This is Jenny Garth from I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. We spend a lot of time talking about our health, but sexual health should be part of that conversation too. I know because I've experienced low libido myself and it can leave you feeling frustrated and wondering what happened to that part of me. That's why I started taking Addy. Non-hormonal Addy is the only FDA approved treatment for both pre and post menopausal women under 65, clinically proven to increase sexual desire. Addy helped me reconnect with my desire and Addy is as little as $20 per month with commercial insurance coverage.

52:35 Addy, flibanserin, is a prescription medicine for women under 65 with low sexual desire that is distressing to them. Addy is for low desire that happens in all situations and is not caused by a medical condition, relationship issue, or medicines. Addy is not for men or to enhance sexual performance. Addy can cause severe low blood pressure and fainting. Your risk is higher if you drink alcohol close to your dose. Don't take Addy if you have liver problems, take certain medicines, or are allergic to any of its ingredients. Before taking Addy, tell your doctor about all the medicines you take, if you've had any mental health conditions, are pregnant, planning pregnancy, or breastfeeding. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, tiredness, trouble sleeping, and dry mouth. Coverage for Addy is for eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See terms and conditions. Visit Addy.com. That's A-D-D-Y-I dot com to learn more, including important warnings. Okay, the first one was recognize. And when you think about it, for a person to recognize where they are, they have to be self-aware. You got to look at your situation and just say, this is not who I am.

53:38 This is not what I'm built for. God has more for me. And when I think about that, I think about the prodigal son in Luke 15, verse 17. It says that the son came to his father, wanted his inheritance, and his father gave it to him. And then he went out and lived a riotous life and just did all the things that was against God and spent all of his money. People used him and different things like that. And then he got down so low that he went to become a hired hand on this farm, and he started eating the pig's food. And then the Bible says when he finally came to himself, when he recognized, when he thought, this is not who God created me to be. The hired hands in my father's house live better than I live right now.

54:39 And I'm a son in that house. So what he did was he recognized where he was. He recognized who he was. and then he turned and went back. So you have to recognize before you can do any of the other things, you have to be self-aware. Be honest with yourself. Don't let the pride keep you from going to where you need to be in order to get the help that you need. Be able to be honest with yourself and recognize where you are. And Pastor Tommy, that story, when you think about the prodigal son, And it's the next part of that story is he recognized and then he took responsibility. He said, Dad, I screwed up. And that sometimes is a hard thing to admit that I made a mistake. It's my fault. And for whatever reason, I think pride sometimes gets the best of us.

55:34 Sometimes I think just being able to take responsibility for our own actions is such a tough thing for people to do in our culture, in our society. And if there's one thing I've taught my little girl, she's eight years old, and I've taught her, if you made a mistake, own it. I want you to own that mistake. Take responsibility for your actions. That takes putting on some big girl panties, some big girl pants and saying, I made that mistake. Because you have to be willing to admit that and take that responsibility before you can move on to that next one. Right? And that's so good because I even think about like sometimes there are parts of it that you didn't play. Somebody did something to you and now there's triggers and there's all these other things. But you have to take responsibility for your part. You know, I think that that's so powerful. Yeah, and it's so easy to say, well, they did that. You don't know. You don't know what I've been through.

56:26 You don't know what they said. You don't know what they did. But that doesn't matter. the part that matters is that you have to be adult enough, have spiritual maturity enough to step up to the table and say, I made a mistake. How many of you in the chat would be honest right now? Yeah. Yeah. Listen, Pastor Mike, when he came to us on Sunday and he said, maybe some of y'all need to admit something to your spouses. I was thinking, is there anything I need? What do I need to, what do I need to take responsibility for? I mean, he checked me so hard that I thought, What have I done? But maybe that's where you are. Maybe some of you need to say, I've made a mistake. You need to be honest with yourself and you need to admit, I'm going to hold myself responsible. I'm going to put on my big kid clothes and I'm going to say, I'm responsible for these mistakes. I'm not blaming my mama. I'm not blaming my daddy. I'm not blaming the lack of my mama or daddy. But I'm saying, I made this mistake. Wow, that's so good.

57:19 And Amberlee, I want you to share something. In our staff meeting that we had earlier this week, you were talking about being robbed. Yes. You were talking about that, and I think it was something so powerful that people may find themselves in a place where they have the right to. You know what I'm saying? Like, I have the right to do that or not to forgive or not to blah, blah, blah. Talk about what you were saying. It was so powerful. Yeah. No, it was crazy. We were just talking about, in staff, we were talking about innovating. You know, and when I think about the word innovation, I think, listen, okay, I'm going to tell you something. I'm going to be so real with all these people, and if one of you all steal my idea and you make millions of dollars, Let me tell you what my address is and where you need to send this to, okay? My only innovative idea that I have is that there should be a vacuum cleaner on a child's hoverboard. Come on, somebody. Come on. Come on. If my child is going to run that hoverboard all over the carpet, by God, she better be vacuuming while she's at it, okay? Now, if you steal that, my Venmo and my cash app is Amberly Bell.

58:12 Come on, Amberly. Okay. I'll get the Instagram. Thank you. Thank you. But what I realized is that I was trying to say, because I didn't have anyone confess over me that I was creative, that I didn't have as a child anyone telling me that I was special and that I had the ability to innovate and to create. I've taken that stance where, you know what? I don't have to do that. I don't have to be innovative and I don't have to be creative because the abuse that I endured as a child, you don't know what I've been through. I don't have to take that. But I had to step up and be raw and be real and realize that even though there were things that were spoken over me as a child and things that were not spoken over me as a child, that doesn't change what God says about me. That doesn't change what I'm capable of despite the fact. That's so good. That's so good. And that's the thing I think in this moment as people, and I believe that's so clear, they're experiencing healing and restoration and growing through these things. of once you recognize the moment that you're in, that moment to take responsibility and say, you know what?

59:11 And that's the thing, I think, and you were hitting on it so clearly, but there are some people that it doesn't matter, and this is, and I want to say the sensitive, because I don't want to downplay at all the pain that you've experienced, the hurt that you have experienced, but holding on to that unforgiveness is not bringing healing. Holding on to what they said, to what they did, to what you didn't have, but in the moment, You know what? I can control. Again, I can control. That equation works. I can control what I give attention to. I can control that, like, I'm not going to choose to focus my attention on what I didn't have or what they said. But in this moment, you can take responsibility. And after responsibility, it says we repent. And I was thinking about this word. Pastor Michael says it, but repent means to turn. And I thought about the fact, you know, sometimes you find yourself in such a low place. We've all been there in moments where it's like I feel so broken. I feel so hurt.

1:00:03 I don't know what to do. I don't even know how to repent. And I had this thought that many of us, we actually do know how to repent. We just turn. If it means to turn, we repent all the time. We turn to things. We repent, but we turn to pornography. We turn to that person that makes us feel good about ourselves. We turn to overeating. We turn to social media. We're repenting all the time, but the issue is we have to turn to the right thing. We turn to God. And some of you, I feel this so strongly, you have believed the lie. that God is not the father that's standing there waiting, but the moment the prodigal son turned, he says the father not only was waiting, but he ran to him. Some of you need to know right now that if you will take a moment to just simply turn, if you'll say, God, I admit I made the mistake. I can't do it by myself, but you turn. Not only is he there, but he's running towards you and his arms are open and he's ready to heal you and he's ready to forgive you and the things that you've been through, he is ready and open for you.

1:01:01 But all you got to do is turn. And here's the thing. It's not, it's not, the Bible says so clearly, and we're about to go into a special moment. I believe people are going to experience salvation in this moment. But the Bible says, Romans 10, 9, if you believe in your heart and confess with your mouth, you will be saved. There has been a lie, honestly, of the enemy, and that has been furthered by, honestly, poor PR of the church that would tell you repenting includes changing all your habits. There you go. many people believe that if I turn to God, I can't turn until I'm cleaned up. I can't turn to God until my life is perfect. I can't turn to God until I stop having those thoughts. I can't turn. But you don't go to the hospital saying, hey, I already bandaged up my arm. I'm just here to make sure y'all double check it. No, you go because you need help. And there are some of you, you have believed the lie that if you turned right now, God's arms wouldn't be open.

1:01:53 But you need to know that the moment you turn, the moment you say I'm not okay, The moment David confessed, he said, yeah, you did it, but God has forgiven you. And that's what's going to happen to some of you tonight. You're going to say, God, I made the mistake. I looked at that thing. Or I did have the interaction. Or I did keep my attention on it. But in a moment, God's grace is saying, yeah, you did, but I've forgiven you. Yeah, you made the mistake, but I am here with you. We have to recognize. We take responsibility. We repent. And then, Jules, God, he does something only he can do. He renews. news. You know, as you were saying that, I think about the scriptures, one of my favorite scriptures, and as I dug into this scripture this year, it just, there was a whole light that was illuminated, and it says, even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. So like, even when we've made mistakes, God is with us. Like, when you think about it, the dark valley, there's death that's all around. There's all these different things, but because God is with us, there is a light. There is a shadow. He's leading in God.

1:02:56 And so when we think about the prodigal son, I love the song that Cody made, like reckless love. Like it makes me think about our dad. Like he's waving his arms. He's saying, I want you. I need you. I desire you. And here's the thing. I'm going to restore you. Like he gave his son the best. Like God has the best for us. And he says, I don't care what you've done. I don't care where I don't care how outlandish or crazy it is. Some of us right now, we're saying we're not good enough for God to restore us. And here's the thing. You got to take off that coat of shame because that is literally the enemy. Right now, you have to rehearse. God loves me. God is for me. He wants to restore me. He wants to renew my mind, change my thinking. And all we have to do is repent and it draws the grace of God to wash over us, wash over our heart, wash over the things that we've even spoken of over ourselves. to say, I got to cancel that right there because that's my son.

1:03:51 That's my daughter. That's the one who I love. That's the one who I have to have with me. And so when we repent, it draws restoration, making it back to the original intent, better than new, better than what all this atmosphere and environment would do to us. You said something, and then we have to close. Our time is coming, Jordan. We can go for another two hours. Do y'all want to get in the chat? Say another two hours. Pastor Michael will be doing that on the weekend. But you said something that scripture says, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I thought of and literally just hit me in this moment. Think, have you ever seen those movies where it's like it's actually a small animal, but they see the shadow and it looks bigger than what the problem actually is? That's what the enemy does. He gets you in a place of isolation. And this is why you have to have community because there's a small little issue that you're dealing with. But the enemy has cast the shadow that if you confess, your life's going to blow up.

1:04:46 And if you tell them what you actually did, but what God does and what his light does is it exposes and says, hey, I've already defeated that thing. Hey, that's a small. If you confess, if you just own up to the thing, I'm ready to renew. My goodness. We could talk forever. Man, guys, talking about these R's, if you put these R's in the practice, they will fix your relationships. Wow, yeah. But really, before we even go there, we have to do these R's towards God. There we go. Right? We have to recognize that the things that we have even put our faith, our confidence, our hope in, that those don't satisfy. Whether that's money. Whether that's going from relationship to relationship. Whether that's success and achievement. Whatever it is, we have to recognize that that's not it. And then we have to take responsibility. Take responsibility for your part. I love what Pastor Amberlee was saying in that, that there were things that were not her fault. There were things that happened to her, and really she would have been justified in saying, no, I'm not going to take responsibility for that.

1:05:47 They did that to me, and so I have a right to be angry. I had the right to walk in unforgiveness. I have a right to be bitter. But literally, when we say, look, I'll take responsibility because I know that if I'll take responsibility and repent, if I'll turn, hey, then God is able to restore and God is able to renew. because one of the things that the enemy tries to do is he tries to disqualify us. He tries to make us think that we're not worthy of God's best. You know, he tries to get us to settle for second best. He tries to get us to settle for something that God said, that's good, but man, I got better for you. And so I just want to encourage everybody tonight. Like we said, you know, we're talking about relationship goals. But the first relationship goal that we all need is the relationship with God. Listen, real quick, I just want to take a minute and I want to pray. You know, if you're out here, maybe you've never accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior. You know, maybe you're hearing this and it's like, man, I want to start this new life, but I don't know how.

1:06:44 I want to pray with you right now. Guys, let's go ahead, bow our heads. Here at TC, we don't pray alone. Transformation Nation, stand up. I need everybody to repeat this prayer right after me. So go ahead, bow your head, close your eyes. Say this. Dear God, thank you for loving me. Dear God, thank you for loving me. Thank you for sending Jesus to die for me.

1:07:06 I admit that I've made mistakes. I ask you to come into my heart. Change me. Renew me. Transform me. I am yours. In Jesus' name. Amen. Come on, fam. Listen, if you prayed that prayer, everything just changed. It might not feel like it, but I promise you that the creator of the universe just entered your heart and everything changed. Your destiny changed. I'm so excited for you. Go ahead. If you prayed that prayer, text the word SAVE to the number that's right below us. We want to get you some resources to help you as you start with this new life. Come on. We're excited for you. This is so amazing. That is one of the best decisions that you could ever make. Like, this changes everything. And I think, Charles, you said it. If God can get your heart, he can change your habits. Pastor Mike says that all the time.

1:08:00 And so now he's got your heart. Allow him to work through you and change your habits. Listen, meet us back tomorrow. We have a 12 noonday prayer that happens on our Instagram, all of our social medias. And maybe that's the first step that you took if you said that prayer. Maybe for some of you, you're like, hey, I'm just trying to figure out how to live right. Join us in prayer. We want to encourage you to meet back on Sunday. Go watch these last two messages. They were so powerful. Listen, there's another one in the chamber. I want to be in Pastor Michael with someone prepping today. Clack, clack. It's about to be crazy. You hear what I'm saying? It's going to be amazing. Listen, come ready, because your beards, your wigs, your eyebrows. He's coming for everything. Like, he's just going to drag you. But listen, we love you guys, and we can't wait to see you guys a little bit later. See y'all later. Bye, you guys. Listen, go out, live a transformed life. Love y'all. Bye. Bye.