The Pain of Believing - Bishop T.D. Jakes

0:09 Jump up to your feet. We're going to the Word of God, the Gospel of St. John, chapter 20, verse 25 through 28. There you will find my assignment for this morning. The text is brief and simple, but the message behind it is profound and prolific. it comes at a moment in history that Jesus has gone to the cross.

0:44 Jerusalem is in total chaos and confusion. The Romans are trying to manage it. The temple is trying to diminish it. The disciples are trying to dodge it. because their leader is gone. Or so they thought. A lot of things that look gone on Friday. resurrect on Sunday morning. The devil will try to talk you into thinking it's over and this is somebody that the enemy in some area of your life has convinced you that it's over, but it's not over. Just because it's hard doesn't mean it's not over. Just because it's difficult doesn't mean it's not over.

1:42 One of the disciples in particular had a hard time with it, and I'm going to focus on him today. The other disciples therefore said unto him, We have seen the Lord. But he said unto them, Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of his nails, and thrust my hand into his side, I will not believe. Repeat those last words. I will not believe. That is a strong statement coming from a person who has given their life over to the Lord fully. I don't mean just gotten a conversion card and gone on about their life. These people dropped their jobs, walked away from their families, did everything to walk with Jesus. I'm going to explain a little bit why their dedication was so intense and so powerful and what their expectation was because sometimes we expect one thing from God and God does something else. God doesn't always answer in the way that you think he should answer and it leaves you with questions in your mind. If I'm talking to you, say amen.

2:56 And after eight days again, notice how many days it was. Somebody say eight days. After eight days, again, his disciples were within, and Thomas with them. He wasn't with them before. He wasn't with them. Then came Jesus, the door being shut.

3:20 and stood in the midst and said, Peace be unto you. Then said he to Thomas, Reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands, and reach hither thy hand, and thrust it into my side, and be not faithless, be not faithless, but believing. and Thomas answered and said unto him, my Lord, my God. This is restoration at its finest. Remain standing for a moment. I want to pray with you, but my subject this morning is the pain of believing. The pain of believing.

4:19 We know about the power of believing, but nobody prepares you for the... the pain, the difficulty, the struggle, the pain of believing, the misunderstanding that comes. Pastor Torrey has talked to you a little bit about believing, and he's going on to talk to you about knowing. But I want to digress for a moment and talk just a moment about the pain believing because while others rush in to believing and go on to knowing there are stragglers that are left behind because of how much it costs them to believe in the midst of the pain that they went through. And it is easy to judge other people for their pain when you haven't gone through what they've gone through.

5:20 It's easy to quote scriptures and tell them what they ought to do and how they ought to handle it. Until it's your child laying in a casket up front, until your house has been foreclosed on, until you've been snatched out of a car. You should kind of be quiet sometime. Yeah. And when you see me crying, just hand me a handkerchief. Maybe you don't have the word for me. Just hand me a handkerchief and keep your mouth shut because I may be going through the pain. of believing. Father God, in the name of Jesus, I stretch my hands, my heart, my spirit, my soul, my bones, my toes, my corpuscles, my blood, my hemoglobin, everything that I have, I yield it over to you. Come into this place and be made manifest and show the devil who's boss.

6:18 Throw your weight around this room. reach into somebody's chest and do surgery. Reach into somebody's heart and give release. Reach into somebody's mind and fix their mind in such a way that they can go from faith to faith and from glory to glory. And we're not afraid to give you the praise in advance. We're not afraid to thank you for it in advance. We believe you're going to have your way, great God that you are. Have your way in this place. In the name of Jesus, somebody with the voice that you use when you hollering at your kids, shout amen. You may be seated. God bless your children, Jesus.

7:05 I was going to bake a banana pudding, but because Pastor Torre put us on a fast. He didn't say how long it would be. Yeah, yeah, I'm teasing you. I'm teasing you. Yeah, just a couple of days. Somebody said, just a couple of days. I looked at Dr. Jill and started laughing, thought about all the times we've been sitting down there fellowshipping around the table, eating peach cobbler and banana pudding and all that. But that's the past, forgetting those things which are behind us and reaching to those things which are before. We press toward the mark of the prize of the high calling of God I ain't bothering nobody this morning.

8:01 There's an argument to be made about Thomas. It is only in the last few centuries that he has been nicknamed Doubting Thomas. The early church did not trivialize his experience down to a nickname. There was a spirit of Thomas that we need to contextualize in the text, and we can only do that if we understand the times. The times that they were living in were times that are almost mirrored to the times we are living in today. They are controlled by a sovereign nation that has come into their country and taken complete control. They are at home but they're not at home. The Romans ruled with an iron hand.

8:56 they were a sovereign kingdom generally taking over by dominance taking whatever they wanted doing whatever they wanted to do they weren't the first ones by any stretch of the imagination the way of the world if you study the way of the world only the strong survive and people will take a moment of vulnerability a moment of weakness not only to attack you but to take over your whole country if you're not careful We're just one step away because countries survive off of ideas like democracy. It's just an idea. It's just a thought. And if you don't support it and you get a rise up of people who think their voices doesn't matter and their vote doesn't matter and their counsel doesn't matter and nobody says anything about it, it is easy to take over. if you read about World War I and you read about what Hitler did you'll see how he gradually in stages took them deeper and deeper until they ended up in Auschwitz and I know it's hard for you to imagine but it's not as hard as it used to be as we turn on our TV sets and we see people snatched out of cars and woke up at 4 o'clock in the morning and naked babies and pregnant women drug out of cars It's not easy. It doesn't take long for power to get out of control.

10:21 And besides, in order for Rome to be the empire that it was, it became an empire and not just a great country by its ability to come in and take over other geographical areas. And the more areas they took over, the stronger they became. The more taxes they took in, the more money they made, the more influence they had, the more they were revered. But once they took over those countries, they had to manage those countries to make sure that those countries were submissive to their will. The same thing happened with Senegal. Senegal has been systematically closing French military sites and plans to complete the withdrawal of all French forces by the late 2025. It's happening right now.

11:15 You don't feel it because it's not happening in your house. You don't feel things that are going on in other cities until it happens to you. Until they drag your daughter out of the car pregnant, you will keep on singing and clapping and going about your business and be totally blind to the turmoil that goes on when one person or one group or one class or one creed of people any kind take over another person, the other persons become subjective to their own malicious will and purpose. They become submissive, is a better word, to their own will and purpose of the perpetrator who has set out to destroy them, and you don't feel it until it's you. And it's not just the abuse alone. It is the feeling of being home and not at home. It is the feeling of laying in your bed and wondering will you make it through the night.

12:17 It is the feeling of now when I grab my wallet I grab my passport. Yeah, I don't go too far without it anymore. I just keep it with me just in case some lone ranger, some overdoer, some perpetrator, some obsessive person comes along and tries to make a lesson out of me. I know that I am not an illegal immigrant. I know that I'm not a murderer, I know that I'm not a killing, but I don't know what you think of me. And so for fear of what you think of me, I have to walk with a certain kind of fear that I didn't have to walk into five years ago. Senegal has completely disrupted France. Nigeria has also disrupted France. France's military presence has ended.

13:13 Their diplomatic ties were reduced with French forces departing the country. The French people were marching in the streets just a couple of months ago because they were losing power over all of the colonies that they had made in Africa and elsewhere. Are you following what I'm saying? America was originally meant to be under the rule of greatness and under the control of the UK. That's why we celebrate July the 4th. That's the moment that we declared our independence and we're getting ready to celebrate 250 years of separating ourselves from them controlling us or we would have been subjugated and controlled by the ethics of parliament in the UK and still had to function and still had to deal with it, but we would have had to deal with it as second-class citizens. And there's something about being a second-class citizen. People have a way of making you know that you're second-class. They treat you with an air of second-class. There's a certain way, a little side-eyed way that they look at you. The power corrupts, but total power totally corrupts.

14:27 You can tell that power, when it gets out of control, will belittle you and demean you. And it's not just one group of people. It's anybody that gets too much control over you. You got to be careful about who you let have control over you. You got to be careful about who you marry.

14:50 Y'all not going to talk to me. You got to be careful about where you go to work. You can be subjugated to submissiveness in your own house. And little by little, they're telling you what to wear. And don't wear those shoes with that. Don't do this. And don't go over there. And don't take the car. And little by little, power can erode until you have no control or say so over yourself. And you have to do a revolution in your own living room to get back control of what you eat and where you drive and where you live. you understand what I'm saying? I want you to see the spirit of the times that they lived in. I want you to understand that they were besieged by the Roman Empire and not just Jerusalem, but all across the world. Rome had stretched out its arms and was controlling more and more geographical locations and the whole city and the whole nation of Israel and the city of Jerusalem was besieged. They had leaders that were not like them, that didn't share their background, that didn't share the things that they thought about. They had language issues. They had cruel beatings and muggings and horrible things happening to them. And they had to become used to, they had to become used to abuse.

16:11 I know all of you tell me what you would do if you were born in slavery times and what you would do. I hear all the stuff you said. But if you see enough people hanging from trees and enough people beheaded and enough people beating to death, you're not quite as bad as you think you are. You're not quite as tough as you think you are. Ask any woman in here that's been a victim of domestic violence. And sometimes it's not as easy to get away from power out of control as the neighbors next door say, if that was me, I would do such or such a thing. But she has to consider her kids, her livelihood, her future, where she's going to move, where she's going to live. Power can be a dangerous thing. It can be a disruptive thing. It can be a painful thing.

17:03 That's why I'm glad I'm not a child anymore. I didn't like being a child because you don't have much control as a child. I had to eat what they ordered. I had to wear what they laid out. I had to do what they said do. When I grew up, I was so glad to be able to dress myself. I dressed myself this morning. I put on what I like. I wear what I like to wear. I go where I want to go. I do what I want to do. And as much as I didn't have a bad childhood, but I don't want to go back to it, I enjoy the freedom of being able to make my own choices. How many people in here enjoy the freedom of making your own choices? I don't care what you got on, blue jeans and a t-shirt, a rag around your head. I don't care what you got on, what you put on, what you wanted to wear and you didn't. There was nobody controlling you, telling you what to do and where to sit and where to go and when to leave and how to move.

18:02 It's important if you're going to have dignity to have a degree of control. If you're going to have self-esteem, you have to have a degree of control. I don't want control of the world. But over my decisions and my choices in my house, you don't get to come in and paint my house because you don't like the color of my living room. I painted it that color. I don't care if I made it straight, but it's my living room. If I can live there, you can visit there. Keep your mouth out of my business. Come on, talk to me, somebody. Keep your mouth, keep your mouth, your mouth, M-O-U-T-H, out of my business. You paint your house with polka dots, and I won't say nothing about it. I might not stay long, but I won't say nothing about it. But that was not the circumstance for the Jews. That was not the circumstance for Jerusalem. That was not the circumstance for Israel. So when John the Baptist came along and said, repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand, the first thing that come across their mind was liberation from the abuse and the turmoil that they were under. The first thing that come to their mind was being free from Caesar and his control and his dominance. The first thing that came to their mind, the dominance had become so strong that he had even infiltrated their religion. That's why the temple is called Herod's Temple.

19:34 And Herod wasn't even fully a Jew, and yet he has taken over the temple, and he's taking taxes and making money from the church people to support taxes in the government. And that's why Jesus kicked over the tables. It was not because they were frying chicken and selling chocolate bars at the door. It was because the government had come in and taken control over their religious freedom and their faith. power gradually eats you up like cancer. It don't start with big stuff. It starts with little things. It starts with little things. Where are you going? What time are you going to be back? I thought you'd be back at nine o'clock. It's 9 15. Tell me where you've been. I don't like your hair cut like that. Little by little, it just escalates. It don't start out with physical abuse and punching you in the mouth. It starts out with shoving you just a little bit. It starts out with insults and verbal attacks. And little by little, I want to give you some signs this morning so that you can begin to understand when you're being besieged, when you're being attacked, when you're being overridden.

20:41 So when John the Baptist came along, it was important because John the Baptist was one of the few remnants left of their faith. They had already lost their kings and they were about to lose the lineage of their priesthood. And when, when, when Elizabeth, God used an old woman to have a baby because he thought it was so important that they have a lineage to continue, that when he was born, it'd been a whole lot to them. Can I take my time this morning? Because they were trying to hold on to their priesthood, but the problem was he was not like his father. Okay. And we're living in a time that we cannot just be like our fathers. We can't just have a Zachariah anointing. That's why the Bible, his name should be called John because none of his kindred have been called by that name. To the young people, I want you to hear me for a minute. With all the Sunday, I got something came over me so strong, I almost interrupted the service.

21:42 You're going to have to do more than we did. You're going to have to withstand more than we withstand. The situation is different. The times are different. The demons are different. The level of attack is different. The financial components are different. The economics are different. The emotions are different. You weren't shaped out of the same clay we were shaped out of. You have a different clay. You have certain comforts that you're accustomed to, and you're not used to being up under attack. And therefore you are emotionally fragile in ways that we grew up in turmoil and pain. And so you have to have a little different approach. You're going to have to fight things that we didn't have to fight. Some of the things that you were fighting are things that weren't even talked about when we came along. And you have to fight that fight. And the older folks, you got to be a little bit tender with them and a little bit more understanding because they didn't come up with washboards and clotheslines. They didn't come up with outhouses and circumstances that we grew up that we called normal. They don't know how to make cornbread without jiffy. They don't know. They don't know how to freeze green beans. They don't know how to can corn. They don't know. They don't know how to make jelly out of skins of apples. Talk to me, somebody. You know I'm telling the truth. The times you're living in affects how you progress and how you move and how you deliver. So when John the Baptist came along and said, repent, the kingdom of heaven is at hand. They're thinking about an earthly kingdom. They're wanting to crown Jesus as king.

23:23 They're wanting to see Jesus rule. They want to see Jesus overthrow the Roman besiege and the Roman power and the Roman autocracy that has taken over their land. Because you must understand that these are people who walked 40 years to get to their land, only to get in their land and not be free in their own land. I might not be free in the grocery store. I might not be free at the gas station. I might not be free at the school, but I'd be doggone if I'm not going to be free in my own house. And they had learned, come on somebody, when I go into my yard and close that gate, it ain't none of your business. I get to be whoever I want to be. That's why I make the payments every month so that I can be free somewhere. But they weren't safe anywhere. They were snatched out of their houses. Doesn't sound familiar. They were abused in the street.

24:22 And I hate to shock you like this, but Jesus was not nearly the first person to be crucified. Crucifixions were as common as hangings were during slavery. And Nina Simone, I believe it was some strange fruit, how you could walk down the forest anywhere and see bodies hanging under the abuse of slavery. In the same way, you could see crosses anywhere, and they meant for it to bring you to an open shame because terrorists always go not by the attack, but by the terror that it causes. It gives you control. It makes you submit. It makes you hush your mouth. It reminds you that I have control over your life. Those were the times that they were living in up against those obstacles. And when John the Baptist said, repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand, I don't blame them. I would have jumped into Jordan. I would have swam into Jordan. If you told me that all you had to do is dunk me and the kingdom was at hand and I was going to get control of the land my father's march 40 years for. I would be baptized right now, baptized in any name, baptized in any circumstance. I would go through anything just to be free. John the Baptist had a full congregation because they were looking for liberation. God is always on the side of the press.

25:51 Talk to me somebody. God is always on the side of the oppressed. He's always on the one that's downtrodden. He walks past the person that's well to lay hands on the person that's sick. God is always for the one that's oppressed. God is on your side because of the oppression and the inequities of power that exist in your life, in your house, in your community, in your marriage, God is always on the side of the oppressed. Now, if you've never been oppressed, that don't mean nothing to you. But if you've had to live in a situation of oppression, you ought to shout me down right now. The disciples had given up everything to go with Jesus. Thomas was not weak.

26:46 He was very powerful. When Jesus made up his mind to go to Jerusalem, there was a plot that had been set off to kill him. And Thomas was the one who said, we must go and die with him. That doesn't sound like a doubter. if you're willing to die for a cause. But sometimes people will forget all the good things you said and hold on to the bad thing that you said and define you by a weak moment. But the truth of the matter, Thomas was courageous. He was strong. He was powerful. The very fact that Thomas was not in the upper room with the other disciples because they were hiding for fear of the Jews and Thomas was walking up and down the street. Tells you he's a bad Negro. Any time you can walk down, y'all ain't gonna talk to me.

27:38 Any time you can walk down the street where other people are afraid to go, you gotta be some kind of bad. There's some bad folks in here that'll go someplace that other people wouldn't go. And you'll go because you got the courage to do whatever you gotta do to get wherever you gotta go. There's some bad sisters in this room. Don't let the hair fool you. They will pull that hair down, take that wig off, pull them nails off, yank them eyelashes, and fight you like a dog in the street. See, it don't have nothing to do with size. It's not the size of the dog in the fight. It's the size of the fight in the dog. Oh, hallelujah. Thomas was a strong fighter. He was a liberator. He was an emancipator. He was a deliverer of those that were bound. and he said, I'm not going to stay locked up like a dog in a cage. I'm going to and fro as I will.

28:36 So when Jesus came there, they were shocked because Thomas was not there. The others were hiding, but Thomas was going on about his business and he was not there. What I like about the text, what I like about the text is that Jesus came back eight days later. Somebody say eight days later. You're eight days away from a new beginning. You're eight days away from a mighty change. You're eight days away from a resurrection. You're eight days away from a phone call. You're eight days away from an email. You're eight days away from a complete resurrection. Your situation is eight days away. That's why the devil's trying to kill you while you're in the wait. But the devil is a liar. Eight is the number of new beginnings in the Bible. Whenever you see eight, it symbolizes new beginnings. When you see seven, you come down to the end. But when you see eight, it's going to start all over again. I don't know who I'm talking to. I don't know who I'm talking to, but I feel an eight-day spirit in this place. I feel an eight-day spirit in this place. I feel an eight-day spirit in this place. Somebody's about to get a turnaround. The Bible said that Thomas came along on the eighth day. He comes back in the room. You must understand. Y'all sit down because you're going to make me, you're going to make me.

30:07 you're going to make me, you're going to make me, you're going to make me, you're going to make me, you're going to make me, you're going to make me, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Slap somebody and say eight days. Your whole life can turn around in eight days. Your circumstance can change in eight days. Your breakthrough can happen in eight days. Your deliverance can happen in eight days. Don't kill yourself till you have your eighth day. God can fix it in eight days. God can fix it and make it new all over again in eight days. And the Bible said that when it was eight days away, Thomas comes back in the room. Might I remind you that the Bible teaches, according to Levitical law, that children, male children, weren't supposed to be circumcised till the eighth day. On the eighth day, God cuts away the flesh. On the eighth day, God takes away what is not needed. On the eighth day, God brings about a mighty deliverer. Eighth is the number of new beginning. So Thomas waited till it was the eighth day, and the Bible says, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, says, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, on the eighth day, he come walking in the room, nobody drug him, nobody snatched snatched him, nobody handcuffed him, nobody chained him. He was walking in freedom while they were walking in bondage. Fear makes you be in bondage, but faith will liberate you. Faith will cause you to walk around like ain't nothing happening when there is something happening. And he walked in the room on the eighth day and he came in the room. But that is not what excites me. What really It excites me about the text.

32:13 It said, Jesus came back for an audience of one. Now I understand what he meant about the prodigal son and leaving the 99 and going after the one and the widow who swept the house looking for one coin even though she had nine. Now I understand why the father ran off the front porch to meet his one son. God cares about you as an individual. He cares about you. He knows your name. He knows your background. He knows your circumstance. The hairs on your head are numbered, not counted, numbered. They're numbered. He got a number. If it gets caught in a comb, he knows that's hair number 548 and 92. God so cares about you. If his eye is on the sparrow, then he watches over you. How dare you sit there and think that you are forsaken, forgotten, rejected, and cast aside. The devil isn't like God knows exactly where you are. If you make your bed in hell, God is there. If you take the wings of the morning and sail to the uttermost—oh God, I feel like I gotta watch myself—and sail to the uttermost parts of the earth, God is still there. The church calls doubting Thomas that, but heaven knew him as disappointed Thomas. Thomas was disappointed. The king, he had to watch his king die. Let me say it this way. He had to watch his dream die. Do you do realize that Jesus was the first one to die on the cross in that setting? He was, all the other men that who were crucified that day, when they came to check them, they were already dead. But when they came to Jesus, I mean, when they came to check them, they were still alive. When it came to Jesus, he was already dead. That's why they didn't break his legs. Or at least that's why they thought they didn't break his legs. The truth of the matter is they didn't break his legs because Leviticus has

34:22 said that in order for him to be a lamb, not one bone in his body would be broken. Good God Almighty, So when they came to Jesus, Jesus died first so no bones could be broken. If the bones had been broken, it would nullify his right to be the Lamb of God. But he presented himself holy and spotless before his Father. I feel a preaching anointing coming in this place. I feel the Spirit of the living God coming in this place. And he stayed there, and they found him dead. He was the first one dead and Thomas and the disciples had to watch him die. They took him down off the cross and put him in a tomb that Nicodemus helped to bring about. It was a borrowed tomb.

35:16 You don't borrow nothing that you're not going to give back. It was a borrowed tomb and they put him in the tomb and they thought it was over. They had to take his rigor mortis ridden body down off the cross and take his stiff hands and push them down on the side. They had to push his left hand down on the side. They had to put his legs together and wrap him in one-inch strips as was the custom of the time to wrap him till he looked like a mummy. They knew he was dead. He couldn't move. He couldn't walk. Blood and water came out of his body, which means that his body's blood had separated because it had been up there so long that the clear part of his blood had separated from the red corpuscles in his blood. They knew he was dead because he lost all heat in his body. All the temperature was gone out of his body. He was fragmented. He was broken. And most of all, he was silent.

36:24 Had he spoken, the angels would have come and delivered him and brought back the kingdom and ushered in the millennium too soon. Had he spoken, the warring angels were stronger than the Roman Empire. They were greater than Caesar. They were greater than Rome. They were greater than Herod. They were greater than Herod the Great. They were greater than anything, but he was gone and his words were gone. Peter said, in your hands are the words of eternal life. And they saw blood come out of those hands and they saw blood come out of his side. And they saw the nail that was in one nail in two feet representing the Jew and the Gentile coming together up under one gospel. And they nailed him with one nail and they had to pull that nail out. They felt the thud of the nail coming out of his feet in between his foot joints. It came out. They knew he was dead because they prepared his body for burial. And Thomas had every right to doubt the rumor that Jesus was still alive. Some people said that they'd stolen his body. Some people said that they had robbed the grave. It was not uncommon to rob the grave in the days of Jesus. They thought that he had robbed the grave. And so when Thomas comes in on the eighth day and they tell him he's alive, he's alive. I know that Thomas said, I don't want to hear that. I don't want to hear that. That's what got me in trouble, believing. That's what broke my heart. That's what upset me. That's what caused me to quit my job. That's what caused me to be away from my children. It hurts to believe.

38:08 It hurts to believe. Once you've been disappointed, it hurts to believe. Once your heart has been broken, it hurts to believe. Once you've been tied down, it hurts to believe. Once you see somebody you put all your trust in, nailed to a tree. It hurts to believe. He said, I don't want to hear your message because I don't want to go through the disappointment of another loss in my life. And he said, I will not believe. The same one who said, I will die with him, turns around now and says, I will not believe because believing hurts. Believing hurts when you are disappointed. it. Somebody in here knows what it's like to believe in somebody and they disappoint you so bad that your heart is broken. Somebody in here knows what it's like to cry yourself to sleep. Somebody in here knows what it's like for your dreams to be dashed against the rock. Somebody in here knows what it's like to go through hell and high water, then go to work and smile and go home and cry and get in the car and let tears run. Somebody in here understands what it's like to deal with disappointment. You thought it was going to happen and it didn't happen. You thought you'd be there by now and it didn't happen. You thought you could count on her and it didn't happen. You thought everything would be all right and it didn't happen. And in other words, he was saying like the old song they sung in my day, now that I've cried my love to sleep, don't wake it up.

39:37 I don't want to believe anymore. It reminds me of the Shunammite woman when Elijah told her that she was going to have a baby. And she said, don't play with me. Don't play with me. Don't play with me. It hurts too much to believe. And now that I finally got used to the fact that I'm going to have to go through the rest of my life alone, don't you come along and give me a promise. But God has a way of giving you a promise even after all hell has broken loose. I got a message for somebody in the room today. God has a way of resurrecting your faith even though it hurts. God has a way of restoring your mind and your heart even when you're backed up in a corner and shoved through the wall. God has a way of making you take it back. You see, Thomas' name is also called Didymus.

40:32 In the Greek, Didymus means twin. One part of him wants to quit. The other part of him keeps coming back again. One part of him says, I'm through with it. The other part of him keeps reaching back again. It feels like he's schizophrenic because on one hand he left the room. On the other hand, he came back to the room because all of us got a twin. And one twin wants to go one way and the other twin wants to go the other way. Paul said it this way, when I would do good, evil is present with me. That which I would do, I do not. That which I would not do, I do. Oh wretched man that I am, who shall save me? Not from demons, not from devils, not from witches, but save me from my twin.

41:21 I got a twin I got to control. Is there anybody else in here that got a twin you got to control? My twin don't want to go to church. My twin don't want to live right. My twin wants to cuss you out. My twin will bust you in your mouth. My twin will drive the car right through your living room. My twin will act a fool like you ain't never seen. And I have to watch my twin because if I'm not care. We look alike. We wear the same clothes. We dress alike. We even walk alike. But I got a twin that will freak out in here. I got a twin that will go slap off in here. If I don't keep him in his cage, he'll get loose and you'll see somebody you have never met before. You met Bishop Jakes, but my twin is not Bishop Jakes. Is there anybody else in here that's been dealing with your twin, struggling with it. One day I'm in. One day I'm out. One day I'm okay. One day I'm not okay.

42:25 One day I can take it. One day I can't stand it. Is there anybody in here that's had your twin wait till you got in the bed and be waiting for you? And there you are crying in the bed. There you are frustrated in the bed. Thomas had a right to be disturbed.

43:37 He didn't want to go through that again. He didn't want to have his hopes dashed against the rocks. He loved Jesus. he absolutely adored Jesus he had given up everything to follow Jesus he thought Jesus was going to be the answer to Jerusalem's problem he thought Jesus was going to be the liberator that set them free from their oppressor he was going to sign the emancipation proclamation. He was going to be the Harriet Tubman of their situation. He was going to bring them out of trouble. Judas was so disappointed that he hung himself because in his own mind, according to the book of Judas, which is not a canonical book of the Bible, Judas thought, yeah baby, I'm with you. Judas thought, Judas thought that if he forced Jesus' hand, that Jesus would force himself out and show them who he really was. But instead of calling 10,000 angels, he never said a mumbling word. And when Judas saw him crucified, he went out to the potter's field and hung himself. He couldn't take it because his plan backfired. Watch out for your plan.

45:09 Watch out for your scheme. Watch out for your trick. Sarah will tell you that your plans will go awry. Don't get a hag out to have your baby. Though it hurts, have your own baby. Though you've grown, have your own baby. There's some people in here that regret the mistake you made because you had a plot and you had a plan and it went wrong and it went wrong and you suffered. Lean not to thine own understanding, but trust in the Lord. I don't know who I'm talking to, but you gotta trust God when you can't trace him. You've got to trust God when you can't see him. You've got to trust God when it looks like he's not working. You've got to trust God when it looks like you're losing. You've got to trust God when it looks like you're going backwards. You've got to trust God when people are laughing at you. You've got to trust God when your twin is mocking you. You've got to trust God when you're running out of food.

46:11 You got to trust God when you're running out of time. Somebody watching online, this word is for you. You got to trust him now like you've never trusted him before. Thomas said, I will not believe. You've been wrestling in your mind. You're scared to believe God for that job, for that house, for that car, for that entrepreneurship. You're afraid, but you got to trust God because God is about to do something. Slap three people and say it's your eighth day. It's your eighth day. It's your eighth day. This is the day that something happens. This is the day that the story changes. This is the day that the yoke is broken. This is the day that the handcuffs fall off. This is the day that you get liberated. This is the day that God does the impossible.

47:05 And the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, The Bible, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible took the time to tell us that on the eighth day, the door was closed. It was shut. But Jesus came in anyway, looked at your Jesus, who's God enough to walk through the door and man enough to eat fish. Once he gets inside the door, he said, don't limit what I can do. You can't lock me out of your room. You can't lock me out of your business. You can't lock me out of your plan. And just to show you that I'm more than a ghost, I think I'll sit down and have me a little fish sandwich to remove all doubt that I got all power, all power. Can I preach like I want to preach? I got all power down in my hand.

48:00 Turn around and tell somebody he's got all power. I don't care if you're on a kidney machine. he's got all power. I don't care if you're suffering from leukemia, he's got all power. I don't care if they say you got four-stage cancer, he's got all power. I don't care if you got a heart that skips beach, he's got all power. I don't care if you're on a respirator, he's got all power. I don't care if your son's in jail, he's got all power. I don't care if your daughter's living on the street. He's got all power. I don't care if they curse you to your face. He's got all power. He walks through doors whenever he wants to. Lord, walk through a door this morning. I feel God walking through a door this morning where the enemy has set up a roadblock and tried to shut you down from what God said he'd give you. God is about to walk through the door.

49:01 He's coming in your direction. Stop it. Let me ask you a question. Who am I preaching to? You've been standing at the door crying because the door is shut, but you forgot that Jesus can walk through a door. He'll come and get you, even if they put you in the prison, if they put you in the inner sanctum of the prison, even if they got several dates before you get out. He'll lead you out of every gate and every wall. Don't let your other twin tell you that all hope is gone because God's got a plan. Help me preach this word. Touch three people and say God's got a plan. God's got a plan. God's got a plan. God's got a plan.

49:53 God's got a plan for you. God's got a plan for you. I'm not talking about the group. God's got a plan for you. I'm not talking about all the disciples. God's got a plan for you. The reason you got out of the bed this morning is because God's got a plan for you. He's got a plan for your life. And no weapon formed against you shall be able to prosper. They might shut it, but it won't work. They might curse you, but it won't work. They may back you in a corner, but it won't work. Because when it's your time to come out, you're coming out. Tell your neighbor, excuse me. I'm coming out. I'm coming out this morning. I'm coming out this morning.

50:46 I decree and declare that I'm coming out this morning. I decree and declare that I'm coming out of this situation right now in the name of Jesus. Jesus came back for one person. If there's only one person in this room that believes God, he'll come to you. If there's one person in the city, he'll save the whole city. Is there one person in the potter's house that's got enough faith to see God bring things out? Is there one person in the balcony that believes God for miracles? Is there one person in this house that's not afraid to lift your hands and open your mouth and shout, Jesus, thou son of David, have mercy on me.

51:45 Jesus, I've been blind all my life, but Jesus delivered me. I've been backed in a corner, but I can still open my mouth. My eyes don't work, but my mouth does work. Don't you know if your mouth works, you can get out of anything. You shall have whatever you say. The power of life and death is in your tongue. That's why the moment you get depressed, the first thing the devil tries to do is to get you to shut up. But the devil is alive. I've been quiet long enough. I'm going to open my mouth. I don't care what the demons do. I don't care what hell does. I don't care what the witch does. I'm going to open my mouth. I need a crazy person that'll open your mouth.

52:42 Open your mouth. Open your mouth, open your mouth, open your mouth, open your mouth, open your mouth, open your mouth, open your mouth, break the silence, break the quiet, break the pain, break the curse, when you open your mouth, Heaven assembles When you open your mouth Healing hits your body When you open your mouth Doors swing open When you open your mouth God will supply every need The power of life and death Is not in his tongue It's in your tongue You shall have whatever you say If you confess death You're going to have death If you confess life You're gonna have life one more time. Let me hear you holla in this room

53:44 Let me hear you. been curving you up at night let it hear you open your mouth you might have tied me up at night but joy is coming in the morning it's coming in the morning it's coming in the morning somebody that's been having a series of rough nights open your mouth and declare it's morning it's morning it's morning it's morning and the Bible said can I finish preaching this the Bible said that Jesus came in and spoke to Peter he didn't wait for Thomas he didn't wait for Thomas to speak to him he spoke to Thomas he said reach hither your hand and feel the nail prints in my hand and reach hither your hand and see where they pierce me in the side.

55:12 That represents outside wounds. That represents the wounds you had that everybody saw. That represents public wounds. That represents public scandals. That represents public pain. That represents public divorces. That represents being trapped in that wheelchair.