Addicted to God

0:00 Man, it's so cool just to hear people's story. We've had, I was just thinking about all the different stories that people have shared up here that are so randomly different, right? Like that was just, I had no idea about some of your upbringing and didn't know how blessed you are to pee.

0:21 No, there's just so much though, right? You know, that's the thing is you show up here and everyone looks kind of like, oh yeah, we're all doing great. and then you figure, okay, here's a doctor, an oncologist, his life, you just assume certain things, right? And then you hear a story and you go, you've got to be kidding me. But that's the truth of all of us here, right? If we all just got up here and shared our stories. And that's why we get together in our smaller gatherings every week. That's why we don't do this every week, because we can't hear all of the stories here. And the Bible talks about how everyone's got a gift to the body. And so it's in those smaller gatherings, you get an opportunity to exercise that. But I want to echo, first I want to thank Mike for sharing that. But I also want to echo what he's been saying about our prayer times. Those of us that have been going, I just feel like our church is in a whole different place than it was two months ago, just by getting together to pray, just the closeness we feel to God and to each other, the journey he's taken us on. And And some of you guys know last Wednesday night, I kind of announced, hey, that's our last one.

1:33 And then, because we wanted to get back in the homes, because I didn't want it to be like an event where people just want to show up when there's a big group of people. I want people to pray because God is there. We should be excited to pray when we're alone. We should be excited to pray in a home with 10 people. I wanted the object of our worship to be what excites us, not, oh, look at this crowd here. And so I just was so maybe overly cautious, and the pastors were saying the same thing. And so we kind of announced it. And then for those who didn't hear, like, so Wednesday night, I just started coughing like crazy. In the middle of the night, you know, I'm drinking NyQuil, doing everything that I'm supposed to do, just trying to calm down, praying, you know. And I just couldn't stop coughing. And so I left my room and went into my prayer room and just asked God. I go, what's going on? like everything happens for a reason. Why can I not sleep? Why are you trying to get my attention?

2:29 And the first thing that came to my mind was the prayer meeting, like that I wasn't supposed to cancel it. And I go, is that it, Lord? Like, I don't know if that's just a weird thought in my head. You know, I just thought it was the right thing to do that would give you the most honor. And I said, if this is you, then don't have me cough not even once the rest of the night, and not even one more time from this moment on. And that's exactly what happened, you know? Which I just thought, you know when you get in those fits where you're like, I'm not going to sleep tonight. I'm just going to cough all night. And it's just like, boom, just, I woke up. I was like, okay, we're going to keep praying together. And it's not like I wanted to end it. It's like I loved it. I just didn't want to dishonor God in any way. And I thought, gosh, I want to make sure we really love him. And that's all I really want to real briefly talk about here is just that desire for him.

3:27 You know, we've been reading in Exodus, and I want to share this one verse that really hit me. Exodus 33, where Moses is talking to God, but there's just this phrase in verse 17 where it says, The Lord said to Moses, this very thing that you have spoken, I will do. For you have found favor in my sight, and I know you by name.

3:56 That is the coolest thing that any of us could receive. I mean, think about God, the creator of everything. And he says to Moses, this very thing you have spoken, I'll do for you. for you have found favor in my sight and I know you by name.

4:21 Is there anything on earth that you want more than this? Seriously, think about this. Then for the creator, God Almighty, to say, you have found favor in my sight and I know you by name. Moses is praying to God and God goes, I'm actually going to do that because you found favor in my sight and I know you by name. God, looking at me, saying, Francis, I heard your prayer and I'm going to do it because you found favor in my sight. And I know you, Francis. You're Francis.

5:12 I've known you from the beginning. I knew when you were in that little hospital in San Francisco, in Chinatown. I knew when your mom died. I knew when I sent you to Hong Kong, right after you were born. Saw you there in Macau and Hong Kong and brought you back. I've known you. I know you, Francis. You found favor in my sight.

5:36 Why do I care about anything else? Why do I care what you think of me? How much money I have? or make the church gets, whatever. For me to be so satisfied to go, the God who's having this earth spin around that ball of fire that's 93 million miles away.

6:02 We're singing, it's your breath in my lungs. So I'll pour out my praise. I'll pour out my praise. And I'm just thinking every time, every time we breathe in that's God giving it to us and I was just thinking as we were singing that song God as I exhale I just want to use every single breath to tell you how great you are if you give me another one you gave me another one I just want to tell you how awesome you are like that's what's from you right okay God you gave me another one and this one's for you also like that's the way like it's your breath You understand this is a gift from him. And then for him to say, Francis, you found favor in my sight. And I know you by name. I just go, God, my cup's overflowing. I can't take anymore.

6:56 I'm so stinking happy. I can't even believe it. That joy that Mike was talking about, it's like all the time. You know, on Friday, I was flying to Texas just a couple of days ago. on Friday to go speak to like a ton of these, just thousands of like these on fire, like high school and college students that all want to go to the ends of the world in the name of Jesus. And so, man, what an amazing honor. And I'm just praying going, God, what do you want me to say? What do you want me to say? I'm on the airplane going, Father, I don't even know how to pray for these people. What is it that you want me to say to them? And I'm very, very cautious, you guys, very cautious when I feel like I hear something from the Lord. You know, like a thought comes to my mind. The Bible says to test the scriptures, to test the spirits. You know, and so I run it through my grid of scripture and go, gosh, is this biblical?

7:54 Is it biblical? Is it biblical? You know, and, you know, because Satan can speak to us. We can hear voices. Our own minds can speak to us. Weird memories can speak to us. So you don't just go, oh, I got a word from the Lord. You don't just say that. that we have to be very, very cautious with this. And so when I even think that maybe the Lord is impressing something on my mind, I test it. And as I'm praying for these people, what the Lord brought to mind, the idea of addiction. that he wanted people to be addicted to him.

8:38 A lot of us in this group understand addiction. You know what addiction is when it doesn't matter where you are, your mind is on one thing. And it doesn't matter what you have to sacrifice. The addiction's too strong. even though you say you love your wife or you love your kids at that moment the addiction is too strong it overpowers even that you could be starving and you could be so hungry but still your mind is not on I got to get some food it's on that drug right you're thinking I've got had and I I don't understand it I've never been addicted um maybe to dumplings um like i love have you ever been to a the dumpling kitchen on terraval anyways um so i don't i don't understand that but i've watched people go through it where i'm going do you understand what you're giving up like you so you do you understand like this is killing you i even remember a guy who was so addicted to video games. I'm a grown man. And his wife was leaving him because he couldn't stop playing. And I'm like, you're kidding me. You're like 30 something years old. You've got a wife and kids and you don't go to work because you want to play this game. Like, I don't get that.

10:14 Like, it's a game. It's not really, you're not really shooting things. Like, it's just like, what in the world? But that's what addiction does. And what I believe what the Lord was saying, and I believe I can confirm it all through scripture, is that God wants us addicted to him. That's what David was, right? He was in a dry and weary land where he couldn't find water. What did his soul thirst for? God, I want you. I can't even find water. I'm about to die of thirst and all I can think about is you. Like, I love you. And that's why Paul says, for me to live is Christ. Because that's why I actually kind of want to die. Because dying would give me more of Christ and that sounds like an addict to me. Doesn't it?

11:07 Like, I want this more than life itself. That's why Paul says, you could pile up everything I ever accomplished, like you said about your trophies. You know, he goes, and it's just a big pile of dung, he says, compared to the surpassing value of knowing Christ. And my concern for us and the people we minister to, and some of you here don't assume I'm talking about someone else. is we can fall in love with doing good things. We can fall in love with resisting sin.

11:54 We can fall in love with caring for the poor. We can fall in love with memorizing scripture. But it's about falling in love with Jesus. Like something happens for some of us here where we are truly addicted to him. Is Christ your addiction? and make sure you understand what I said. I said addiction, not addition, because everyone wants to add Jesus to their pile of blessings. Everyone wants to add Jesus to their lives. Yeah, I'll take him. Yeah, Buddha, Jesus, I'll take some of that. I'm not talking about addition, and I believe this is what the church has been preaching for years, is add Jesus to your life. He'll make some things a little bit better.

12:48 Man, some of you came into a program here and it's like, okay, yeah, give me that because I want to get my life together. I want to get off drugs. I want to get my family together. Yeah, I want Jesus also. But that's not what this is about. Jesus is not an addition. The goal of this is that you are consumed with him. Not that you're willing to accept him and add him to your life. But you understand addiction. You understand when something consumes you. And it's not like something you can measure, but you see it in a person, right? Like, for example, and understand, this is about a person, a person, a person. Where you love that person, not the idea of God, but literally the person of God. And you go, I love you. Like Romans 8 says, my spirit cries out, Daddy, Abba, Father.

13:45 It's personal. We cry. That's why I don't want to have a group of people that are doing all of these things and avoiding other things, but at the end of our lives we realize we didn't really know him and love him. I was going to say something. Okay. I grew up in a pretty traditional Chinese home. And... and some of you, I can tell, are Asian.

14:24 Because the sun's not even hitting your eyes and you're squinting, you know. But so I just want to speak to you guys, and maybe whatever culture you came from is somewhat similar. As growing up in a traditional Asian home, I'm very good at doing things and getting things done and accomplishing tasks. you know school right it's like we know how to do this this get this done this done but honestly we are not good at relationship where you look at another individual and you just go, I love him.

15:08 I love her and connecting. And some of us grew up in homes and cultures like that, right? Where it's like performance-based. And we don't understand like love in some ways. I think they go together sometimes. you know, the honor, the respect, and you see that all through the scriptures. That's why there's certain passages of scriptures I totally get, like, hey, thou shall not. It's like, I got that. You're punished if you do. I get that. But relationships, different. And ever since I became a Christian, I remember one of the first things that was told to me, this is not a religion, it's a relationship. But then my whole subsequent church experience kind of, they emphasized everything but relationship. And I just don't want to end up with a group of people that are doing good things, but at the end of the day, you don't really crave him. You're not satisfied by him. You're not obsessed with him, the person. We've seen obsession. You know when someone's obsessed with their kid, right? You met people who are obsessed with their kids, where no matter what you're talking about, you go, oh, that's just like my son.

16:28 Like, all right, yeah, whatever. You know, like, you know, everything goes back. It's like, would you stop, you know, and oh, look, my kid's throwing a tantrum. Isn't he adorable? You're like, no. But you can tell, I can tell you think he is. I can tell you're obsessed, You can tell when someone's obsessed. And I just was thinking, I've only met a few people that I go, wow, he or she is obsessed with Jesus. It doesn't matter what you say, they always bring it back to Jesus and how great their life is because of Jesus. And that's what God wants of us, right? Isn't that what he wanted of Adam? Just walk in the garden, you know, with Adam? That's what we're reading about Moses. he loved when Moses says, I don't want the promised land, not without you, right? You remember in Exodus 33? That's what God says. You know, he says, look, I'll send an angel. I'll drive out. I'll chase away all of your problems and put you in a perfect land. And Moses goes, you're not going.

17:31 I'm not going. That's obsession. That's Abraham known as a friend of God. See, I don't want to be known as a teacher, a good teacher, a good leader, or, you know, some visionary, or a prophet, or whatever. I'm just going, God, I want to be known as a guy that is just addicted to you, that is obsessed with you, that loves you. And I hope that's the goal of your life, where you go, God, I adore you. And I understand that's the center of this book. That's why David says, there's only one thing I ask for. I just want to dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life. And just to gaze upon his beauty, just sit at the temple and stare at him. That's what I was praying this last week, just in my little prayer room with God. I'm just going, God, this is all I want. Please, God, if I could have one thing, could you make it so that every single day, at least for a few moments, I get it. And I understand how much better you are than everything else. And I just enjoy being with you, the person of God, just you and me in this room or wherever I am, like, can I just get it every day and see you every day? That's my number one prayer.

18:43 That's what I want, God. Everything else, whatever, I can make do, but I got to know you. Yeah, that's that passage in Matthew 7, where there's so many people at the end, they'll say, Lord, didn't we do this? Didn't we do this? Didn't we do this? And Jesus says, depart from me. I never knew you. And I say this because for some of us, you grew up in a home like me, you grew up in a home like Mike, or something where you just, it's about performance, do this, do this, do this, rather than knowing a person, rather than having your spirit cry out, Abba, Father. and you get rather than what john says in first john where he says gosh our fellowship you know he's like he's trying to put words to it right he goes that which was from beginning i actually heard him i saw him i touched him and now i have fellowship with god like i'm connected with him i abide in him and he goes the only thing that would make me happier right now is that if you would have fellowship with us. You know, like somehow you had that connection. You get it. Like that's my only joy right now is when I go, ah, someone else gets it. Someone else gets it. More people are addicted to him, the person of him. And then you get to the book of Revelation at the very end.

20:15 And what's it about? First, he tells the church in Ephesus, he goes, man, you got this right. You got this right. You guys are standing against false teachers. You guys are working yourself to the bone. You guys suffer for the kingdom. He goes, but I've got this one thing against you. You lost your first love. Remember, that's the greatest commandment, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. And he goes, you lost that. And he says, and if you don't repent, he goes, I'm just going to remove the church. I don't even want this church. If they don't love me, I don't care if you do all this stuff. Do you desire me? Do you crave me? Is Is there any love in there? It's like my five-year-old, you know, this last week when I walk her to her class or her kindergarten class most mornings, and she makes me carry her, you know, and I kind of like it anyways, you know. But I'm the only guy on the playground still carrying his kid till the bell rings, right?

21:13 And I'm like, okay, honey, I need the bell ring, the bell ring. And she's just holding on tight. Daddy, daddy, just one more second. Just one more second. And I'm like, all right, all right, all right. why don't we just cut class and we'll just cuddle you know it's just why because as a father it's like oh that's the best that's the best you know like Rachel who's 21 now we don't really cuddle anymore but um Scott Justin and and but I remember you know like at night you know when I put her to bed you know like sometimes laying in the bed with her and and she would just put her hand on me and I would always try to slip away because I want to go back to my own, you know, and she'd wake up, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, all right, I kind of want to be here anyway, you know, that's what being a dad, what makes it so awesome is the desire from your children, where they desire you, and that's why God looks at his children, he goes, man, do you love me, do you want me, that's, that's all I want, it's, it's a relationship, and that's why at the end, the end of all things in Revelation 21, what's the great promise? It says that God will dwell with us again. Like we're all just going, oh my gosh, could you imagine? Like there's no sea, there's no gap between God and us, and he's right here, and we can see him. And oh man, I've wanted to see you all my life. Man, it's like talking to you on the phone, or email, or texting you, and here you are, and you're right here, and now I've got nothing to fear. You're the one that has told me that I found favor with you. You're the one that's called me your son, and now that I see you, I have nothing to fear. It's like, who's going to come up against me?

23:01 And I kind of knew this, but I saw it kind of dimly. I wanted to see you face to face, and now it's forever, and you're going to wipe away every tear from my eye like him. He is the prize. That's why Jeremiah is like, what are you doing? Why would you leave these springs of living water? Why would you leave me and dig cisterns? And he goes, what are you doing? It's me. It's about me. It's about me. And so I got to just ask, you know, you get that. Because I know some of you are listening to me. And this is new for you. and you're going, okay, I've heard about Christianity before. I've even been in church all my life. But that thing he's talking about where he actually loves the person of God, I don't have that.

23:56 It's been do's or don'ts. I feel good when I don't sin. I feel good when I help the poor. I check off a list when I read the Bible that morning, like, oh, good. But it was never about relationship, you and him, where you know him, he knows you, and you can't wait for him to return.

24:20 And I can't make that happen. It drives me crazy, you know? it's just gotta happen. Somehow your eyes just have to be opened and you realize, you're telling me the creator God saw all the garbage that I did and was storing up wrath for me, but he also loved me so much that he was willing to send his son to take all of that wrath. He's a righteous God. That's what we read yesterday. He does not leave the guilty unpunished, Exodus 34, 7. I have to punish. I'm a good judge. A good judge can't just say, okay, you did this, but I'm going to let it go. No, there has to be a punishment. And he says, I'm pouring all my wrath out on my son, my son whom I love more than anyone.

25:18 I'm pouring my wrath out on him so that you can be forgiven. and he's going to rise from the dead to show you that he really was the son of God and to show you that there's going to come a day when you rise again to be with me forever. And some of us hear that message and go, are you kidding me? He, he, not it, not this concept. He did this for me. He watched his son.

25:55 well, then I want him. And I don't ever want to leave him. And I don't want to go anywhere unless he is with me. And you can take everything else away because it's all garbage compared to knowing him, the surpassing value of him. And I'd rather starve to death. I'll be in a dry and thirsty land and I will think about being with him. And if there's one thing I want, it's him. and to dwell in his house and stare at his beauty,

26:28 is that you, or were you raised with religion, even in a Christian church? I want to pray for you right now because we're about to take communion. And don't you understand, if you're crazy about him, then you take that piece of bread and going, whoa, this represents his body and what he did on that cross. And there's a sense in which I commune. See, communion. I commune with him where it's like, I believe in his flesh. It becomes my flesh. His blood is my blood. He's my lifeline. You start to love communion. You don't love church, oh, because there's a great speaker, oh, because there's a great band.

27:20 No, because I'm going to commune with him. I'm excited to take the bread. I'm excited to take the cup. Why? Because I'm fanatic. I'm obsessed. I'm addicted to him. And so I want to pray for you, for those of you who've never just by yourself longed for him. That's why we emphasize get alone with the scriptures because a lot of people, man, they'll just come to church and these gatherings, but it's not really him because if it's him, then when you're alone, you're excited to be with him.

27:54 I'm going to pray that miracle takes place in your heart right now that maybe you would get what he did for you. And right now say, God, I want you in my life. I'm asking you to fix my marriage. I'm asking you to fix my health, my job, my finances. I just want you. Let me pray. Father, I pray that you would open people's eyes right now, the eyes of their heart. Give them the mind of Christ. Help them to see how beautiful Christ is. God, people have come here depressed, angry. thirsty, that their cups are not overflowing, God, because you're not their shepherd.

29:01 And they're trying to find life in broken cisterns rather than the spring of living water. I pray that you would open their eyes to this, that this is not a place where we come to get rich or get our life together or get anything. This is a place we come to get you. You fulfill all of our needs. and I pray that you make us a church that is addicted to you, in love with you.