Relationships Part 3: The Benefits of Singleness

0:06 I'm in a series on relationships. That's what I've been talking on the last several weeks. And today, I want to talk to the singles. Where are the singles at? Where y'all at? Hold your hands up. Let me see. I think I think. All right. Yeah, there's enough of y'all in here for me to talk to the singles. Now I want to talk to the singles. 1 Corinthians chapter 7 is where I want you to turn to. But let me tell you why I'm talking about this. First of all, I want to challenge, motivate, encourage, and speak to singles. I want you to know that you are in a unique place. Amen. And I want to, while I'm talking to the singles, I want to sensitize the church folk because church folk don't know what to say to singles. Amen.

0:57 Say it louder. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They keep on saying all the wrong things, singles. And I need to marry folks to know that the ultimate goal in life is not to be married. Amen. That is not the ultimate goal. I mean, the ultimate goal is to be in a place in your life where your life can give glory to God, whether you're married or single. Thank you. Yeah, everybody's not going to get married. Everybody's not going to get married. Everybody is not going to get married. How do you know that, Pastor? Because the scripture says everybody's not. Everybody's not called to be married. And I also know it's true statistically because there's a whole lot more women than there are men.

1:49 So it's not the will of God for everybody to be married. I know when I say that to the singles, sometimes they get mad at me. They get upset. It's okay. Sometimes people don't like to hear the truth, but you need to hear the truth. That that is the truth. Amen. So everybody's not going to get married. Now, people are in a single status for various reasons. Some are in a single status because they've never been married. Some are in a single status because they got widowed. They lost the person they were married. They're single. And some are in a single status because they've gone through a divorce, the tragedy of a divorce. But the Apostle Paul speaks to the church in Corinth and gives them some basic elements of truth that it seems that our culture has forgotten or never learned. And I want to drop these on you here today. Look at 1 Corinthians chapter 7, verse 7.

2:46 He says this, For I wish that all men were even as myself. Here's Paul talking to the church in Corinth, and he says, I wish everybody was like me. But he says, each one has his own gift from God, one in this matter and one in another. But here's the first thing he says, I want you to understand. He says in verse 7, each one has his own gift. The first thing I want singles to know, that God views singleness as a gift. Look at it as a gift. I know you don't think it's a gift. I know you feel, somebody said to me after the first service this morning, they are lonely. Let me tell you something about loneliness. Let me just talk about this for a moment. I believe that loneliness is an emotion that God gives us to tell us that he, that God wants to spend more time with you.

3:39 Amen. And I said to the person, I said, you know, when you feel lonely, that's God saying, I wish you would break out some time for me. Amen. And I'm persuaded that you can be in a whole big crowd of a thousand people and still feel lonely. You could be in a marriage and still feel lonely. You could be in the bed with the person that you love and still feel lonely. If you don't know how to enjoy the presence of God, no human being can take the place of being in the presence of God. I need you to understand that. And so he says in this, Paul says in this matter, each one has his own gift. So the first thing is he's calling loneliness, I'm sorry, he's calling singleness a gift. Somebody say singleness is a gift. Tell your neighbor singleness is a gift.

4:34 Tell them on the other side singleness is a gift. It's not a curse. It's not a burden. It's not a rejection. It's a gift from God. It's a peculiar gift. It's a spectacular gift. I know you don't feel like it sometimes, but it's a gift from God. God has granted you the blessing of singleness. Somebody look at your name and say, thank God I'm single. God bless you.

5:08 It comes from God. And God wants you singles to look at it as a blessing from Him. Now, I'm going to tell you why it's a blessing in just a few moments. But just hear me when I say to you that it's a gift from God. That's the first attitude or posture. And then first and secondly, I want you to understand that it's good. Let me wait for that. Let that sink in for you for a few moments. Look at verse 8. He says, but I say, verse 8, but I say to the unmarried and to the widows, it is good for them. If they remain even as I am. Paul says, if y'all stay even like I am as a single person, it's a good thing. So it's a gift and it's good. The problem is too many people view it not in that light. in that posture, not with that attitude. You don't view it as a gift. When God gives you a gift, you know, people were shaking my hand today. They gave me gifts. How would I look? I look at all of the stuff y'all put in my hand and I store it away and treat it like it's nothing.

6:17 let me be clear I didn't look at it that way I thank everyone for all the people who shook my hand and put something in my hand I love you yeah I appreciate you I'm grateful for you amen I'm so thankful that you did that but I'm not going to treat it and reject it and not use it and not embrace it and not accept it and God is saying the same thing about your singleness why you are in this season of your life, it is something you ought to brace. You ought to throw your arms around it. You ought to thank God that he thought enough of you to let you be where you are in a posture, in a position. You ought to thank God for it. I know some of you have never prayed and thanked God for your singleness, but I'm here to tell you, you got to adopt a different attitude. Stop looking around. Some of y'all look at every person you see. Maybe, does he have a ring on his finger? Stop looking at...

7:11 Stop it. Stop it. and just learn to thank God I am where I am, I am who I am. Amen. God has a purpose and assignment for me being here. And that's the thing that, especially in the church, the church community and culture does not embrace it and understand it and accept it. And my job today is to try to challenge you to understand that the way God looks at it and the way Paul spoke about it, It's a blessing. Somebody say, it's a blessing. Tell them on the other side, it's a blessing. Now, when he gets to verse, did I read verse 8 already? Okay, thank you. I appreciate that. He said it's good for you to be there, and he said I wish you would remain. But when you get down to verse 25, I want you all to go down to verse 25.

8:07 Let me read verse 25. He says this. Now concerning virgins. I don't know if there are any more of those, but concerning virgins. Did I say something wrong? Did I say something untrue? I'm just wondering why y'all making so much noise about that. He says, I have no commandment from the Lord, yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in his mercy has made trustworthy. Verse 25. Then he says in verse 26, I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress. That is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife?

9:00 Do not seek to be loose. or you lose from a wife, don't look for one. Do y'all, am I in the text? Is it what it says? He's being clear that if you're married, great. Accept that posture. But if you're not, accept that posture. And learn how to give God thanks. And then he says in verse, let me read verse 28 again. But even if you do marry, you have not sinned. And if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless, listen to this. such will have trouble in the flesh but I would spare you. Is that what it says? Here's what he said. He said I'm warning I'm saying to you if you are single I'm trying to spare you of the trouble that comes with the flesh of getting married.

9:52 Y'all might not want to accept it but being married is drama. Come on brothers, don't leave me hanging out here by myself. It's drama. It can be painful. It's stressful. Ever moving target. Never know where the target is going to end up. It might be... Let me talk to the choir. Maybe y'all, they don't want to hear it out there. It's drama. Oh, hear the brothers out here, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's drama. Stressful, he says. It's trouble in the flesh. Trouble in the flesh. Arguments, disagreements. Somebody's on one side today and somebody's on the other side. It's stressful. Raised by two different environments. Viewing life from two different perspectives.

10:45 Sometimes up, sometimes down. Sometimes level to the ground. Excuse me. Talking different languages. I had to learn a different language as a man. I had to learn to communicate with my wife in an emotional way. That doesn't come natural to me. I had to learn to be sensitive.

11:09 That's the big bird word for the day, sensitive. I had to learn. that when she's wanting to tell me something, because you know when she, when my wife wanted to tell me something, she got to walk all the way around the barn, around the fields, down over the mountains and through the woods, go past grandma's house. Then she comes, when all I wanted to know, what happened? She's telling me, well, I did this, I had to go to the other, all to tell me that she backed the car up into the garage.

12:03 And I had to learn to say, what? I had to learn how to say that. What, really? No, she didn't say that. What? You want me to go fix it right now, I'll go fix it. I was hoping some men would stand up and help me preach this thing for a second. It's trouble in the flesh, the Scripture calls it. Thank you, bro. I appreciate it. Hey, come on down here and sit on the front row right here. I need somebody to encourage me while I'm preaching. Just come here.

12:56 Make your way on down here. Amen. Yeah, thank you. Praise the Lord for you. God bless you. You're the only person to stand up the whole time I was preaching here today. I appreciate it. Amen. You limping? Did your wife do that to you? You okay? You good? Thank you. I needed you up here because...

13:27 Then Paul says, yes, I got to hurry up. I'm taking it like I got all day. Look at verse... Slide down to verse 32. he says, I want you to be without care. But he who is married cares for the things of the Lord. He who was unmarried cares for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world, how he may please his wife.

13:56 So that's a major thing. He says, if you're single, all you have to worry about is what the Lord tells you to do. but when you're married, you got to be sensitive. There's that big word again, sensitive to the cares of your wife.

14:18 You got to, when you get married, you got to worry about, now you want to squeeze out the toothpaste from the bottom of the toothpaste or from the middle. do you want the lid on the toilet down or up When you're single, you ain't got to worry about whether it's down or up.

14:52 When you're married, you got to make sure when you get through, you put it down. And you got to make sure that you wipe off whatever you might have left dripping. I got to understand what I'm saying. What I'm trying to say is the bottom line, is when you are single, there's a difference between what a single person has to be worried about or what a married person has to be worried about. And Paul says to the singles, thank God that you're in a posture that all you have to care about is what the Lord asks of you. I can always depend on this section right here to give me an amen while I'm preaching. And that's true.

15:52 And so I'm saying to all of the singles, never complain about your posture anymore. What I'm saying to the single is learn to give God thanks for the posture that you are presently in. Because all you have to do is serve God. You have the opportunity to be obedient to God and not worry about anyone else. Let your devotion be to the Lord. Let your dedication, let your lifestyle, let your service, let your focus, let your goals be centered around pleasing the God that is the master of our lives. as a matter of fact I'm a firm believer that you should be so tied up in Jesus so committed to Jesus that anybody's going to come out come along and move you from your singleness it's got to be Jesus himself don't let some joker who don't love Jesus some joker that comes in the picture who don't care about anything with the kingdom of God come in and take you out of this blessed status of being single? Are you understanding what I'm saying? Yeah. Anybody going to come and make you leave your singleness, they ought to be so on fire for God, so on fire for the kingdom, so on fire for the glory of God. They've got to be super able to sweep you up in their passion for God, in their burden and their love for God. They got to be at that place. But too many have allowed some no church, no Bible reading, no worship participating person come into your life and make you get off track and get away from the things that you were doing for God.

17:52 I'm trying to tell you, don't go there.