You Never Have to Explain What You Don’t Say – Secret #7 – Part 1

2:41 But right now, let's turn our attention to Proverbs chapter 13. I titled my message, You Never Have to Explain What You Don't Say. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. That childhood chant probably ranks as the greatest all-time lie, only surpassed by our parents' speech, this is going to hurt me more than it hurt you before they walloped us as kids. Remember that? the fact is long after our broken bones have mended, we still feel the sting of hurtful words spoken to us. If you don't believe that, let's take a survey this morning. You don't have to raise your hand. How many of you remember a hurtful nickname bestowed upon you when you were a child?

3:38 How many of you can recall an unflattering comment made about your appearance when you were a teenager? How many of you can remember a less than glowing evaluation of your work made by an employer sometime in the past? How many of you can remember a farewell speech by a mate or a lover as they walked out of the door for the last time? the fact is words have a tremendous power to hurt us and the words we speak to other people not only hurt other people they hurt us as well i know of a leader of a large organization who had an employee that was dismissed and a new employer potential employer called this leader about a recommendation of this ex-employee. And in an unguarded moment, this leader made a less than flattering comment about the person's character.

4:36 He's now the subject of a defamation suit by this ex-employee, all because of a careless sentence that he spoke. Words have great power. Words we speak, words we listen to, to bring great harm into our life. And that's why, if we're gonna be successful in life, And that's what the book of Proverbs is all about. Solomon says we have to learn how to guard our speech. It is impossible to be successful in life without knowing how to control your tongue. In fact, out of the 31 chapters of Proverbs, did you know Solomon devotes 150 Proverbs to the subject of controlling our speech? It is a major issue in the book of Proverbs. And so we all want to be successful, right? Isn't that why we're here listening to this series? We want to have success according to God's word. If we're going to be successful, we need to learn the Solomon's secret for success when it comes to speech.

5:33 We're looking in this series at 10 pieces of uncommon wisdom from the book of Proverbs, pieces of uncommon sense. And that is they go against the grain of our natural way of thinking. We've looked and seen what Solomon says about marriage and about finances and about other areas of life. Today, we're going to look at the Solomon's secret for success when it comes to our speech. and it's simply this, you never have to explain what you don't say. And Solomon is going to talk about today specifically four kinds of speech we ought to avoid at all costs if we want to be successful in life. Again, Solomon's Proverbs are filled with admonitions about our speech. In Proverbs 5 verses 1 and 2, Solomon writes, my son, give attention to my wisdom, incline your ear to my understanding that you may observe discretion and your lips may reserve knowledge. Or jot down Proverbs 10, 14, wise men store up knowledge, but with the mouth of the foolish ruin is at hand. Or Proverbs 18, verse seven, a fool's mouth is his ruin and his lips are the snare of his soul. Proverbs 21, 23, he who guards his mouth and his tongue guards his soul from troubles. Well, what kind of speech are we to guard ourselves against, Solomon? First of all, and jot this down, Solomon says we are to avoid false speech. Have you ever been in the checkout line at a supermarket like I was yesterday, and you're kind of looking at the magazine rack there and see what they have for sale? Every now and then, you'll see a headline on a magazine cover that says, the 10 best dressed women in the world are seven things you ought to do with your money before the year is over. I mean, all these kinds of lists and these editors know the way to grab attention is with a list. There's something about a list that grabs our attention. Well, Solomon has his own list in Proverbs chapter six. It's titled the seven things God hates the most. Now, if you're

7:39 a Christian and you believe there's a God and you believe he's evaluating your life, that ought to grab your attention. Because if we really want to please God, then we ought to know what God loves and what he hates. And in Proverbs 6, turn over to Proverbs 6 beginning with verse 16. There are seven things which are an abomination to him. Look at verse 16. There are six things which the Lord hates. Yes, seven which are an abomination to him. Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood. A heart that devises wicked plans. Feet that run rapidly to evil, a false witness who utters lies, and one who spreads strife among brothers. Do you notice three of these top seven have to do with speech? A lying tongue, a false witness spreading strife among brothers. Make no mistake about it, God absolutely hates lying and he hates liars. Why is that? Well, lying, untruth is the very antithesis of who God is. God defines himself by truth. On the other hand, Satan is the essence of untruth. In John 8, 44, Jesus describes Satan this way. He said, you are of your father, the devil, and therefore you want to do the desires of your father. Satan was a murderer from the beginning and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he, that's talking about Satan, speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and he is the father of lies. In what sense is Satan the father of lies? Think about it. The very first words recorded from Satan's lips in the Bible were words of a lie. Satan said to Eve, said, you're not really going to die if you eat of this tree? God didn't really say that, did he? And he's been lying ever since. Ladies and gentlemen, what the word of God is saying is this. When you and I lie, we tell an untruth. We are behaving

9:46 more like a child of Satan than we are a child of God. And that's why God hates lying. Solomon also warned against lying. In Proverbs 6 verse 12, he said, a worthless person, a wicked man is one who walks with a false mouth. Proverbs 12, 19, truthful lips will be established forever, but a lying tongue is only for a moment. Or Proverbs 21, verse six, the getting of treasures by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor, the pursuit of death. Now, when Solomon says we ought to run from falsehood, this is important to understand. He's not talking about just refrain from telling those all-out whoppers we all tell from now and again. What he's talking about is any kind of variation from the truth. When he warns against the deceitful mouth and devious lips, I think he is talking about three kinds of false speech that we need to abstain from. When he talks about avoiding falsehood, first of all, he means avoid flattery. Flattery is one kind of false speech that Solomon writes about repeatedly. Now, what is flattery? Flattery is simply telling people what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear. And the person who engages in flattery really shows his contempt, his hatred for the person he's flattering. Because what he's really saying is, I'm more concerned about meeting my agenda than I am meeting your needs. So the flatterer has his own agenda. Solomon offered some very unflattering words about flatterers.

11:24 Listen to Proverbs 29 verse 5. A man who flatters his neighbor is spreading a net for his steps. Now, it's interesting when we look at that phrase, his steps, we don't know from the Hebrew text exactly what Solomon is referring to. Is it the steps of the flatterer or the steps of the flattery? Who's going to get tripped up in flattery? I think it's obscure for a reason. I think Solomon's really saying both people get tripped up when they engage in flattery. The flatterer, the one who offers flattery, eventually is going to have his insincerity exposed. But the one who listens to flattery is going to get tripped up as well. We all know of politicians, corporate leaders, pastors who surround themselves with yes people who will only tell them what they want to hear. I've been in the ministry 30 years. I haven't been able to find those yes people yet, but I know they're out there somewhere. But you know, the fact is, when you listen to that stuff, you listen to what you want to hear instead of what you need to hear, the result is going to be disaster. Secondly, another type of false speech is what the Bible refers to as distortions or perversions of the truth. I love the story about the pastor who was at a denominational convention, and one of his colleagues walked up to him and said, how many are you running in your church these days? The pastor said, oh, between five and 600.

12:56 The colleague went home, and the next week happened to receive the guy's bulletin from his church in the mail. He looked at the attendance. It said 67. He was kind of confused, so he called his friend up. He said, I thought you said you run between five and 600 in attendance. He said, we do? He said, well, it says 67 here. The pastor said, well, 67 is between five and 600. Well, he was technically telling the truth, but he was distorting the truth. You see, that's what a distortion is. It's telling the truth with an intention to deceive. Now, the Bible doesn't use the word distortion. It uses the word perversion. Proverbs 19, verse 1, better is a poor man who walks in his integrity than he who is perverse in speech and is a fool. Did you know that word perverse? It doesn't mean telling dirty one-liners. That's what he's talking about. The word perverse or to pervert means to twist, to distort. Solomon says you need to run as far as you can from even trying to distort what is true to deceive another person.

14:02 Thirdly, Solomon says we ought to avoid exaggerations. Exaggerations, adding to the truth. Once I was preaching a message and I was relating a personal story about something that happened to me. And admittedly, it sounded beyond belief. I mean, it was such an amazing set of circumstances. It really sounded beyond belief, but it was absolutely true. I was told later that while I was telling the story, a little boy turned to his father and said, Do you believe that really happened to Dr. Jeffress? The father said, No, son, he's just preaching. now you know the fact is let's admit it we all have the tendency to want to make a good story better by just embellishing a little bit the truth but the bible says we are to abstain from all exaggeration you see the problem with lies distortions exaggerations is eventually they're going to be exposed and we're going to be embarrassed.

15:03 I read the story, a well-known story about a man who talked his way into playing in a very famous orchestra in China. He had no musical ability at all, but he wanted the elaborate lifestyle of being a member of this prestigious orchestra. And so he talked his way into gaining a spot in the orchestra. Whenever the orchestra would play or practice, he would just simply blow into the flute without actually playing it. And it worked for a while. He enjoyed the comfortable lifestyle until one day the emperor of China announced that on a future day, every single orchestra member would give a private concert for the emperor. Well, he was absolutely panicked. He knew he didn't have time to learn the instrument. So he decided to pretend to be sick. When word reached the emperor that he was sick, the emperor sent his personal physician to check the guy out. He was just fine. The emperor announced that he would be given his concert two days from then. The man was so panicked that on the day that he was to give his concert, instead he took poison and killed himself. And from that story comes the phrase we use often, he refused to face the music.

16:16 You know what the Bible says? One day all liars, all perverters of truth, all exaggerators, all discorters one day are going to have to face the music. And that's why we need to run from all falsehood. Secondly, Solomon gives another kind of speech we need to avoid if we're going to be successful in life. And that is divisive speech. That is a speech that leads to division among human beings. And he talks about specifically two types of divisive speech we ought to run from. The first kind of divisive speech is gossip. Gossip is secret, private communication meant to harm another person. Whenever somebody comes and says to you, hey, I have something I need to tell you about so-and-so, but promise me you'll never quote me on this. You can know you're about to listen to a piece of gossip. The gossip only feels comfortable working undercover.

17:14 And Solomon points out two problems with gossip. That is secret communication meant to hurt another person. First of all, listening to or practicing gossip robs you of valuable time. Did you know that? If you spend time listening or speaking gossip, you're robbing yourself of valuable time. Turn over to Proverbs 18, verses 8 and 9. Proverbs 18, verse 8. the words of a whisperer, a gossip, are like dainty morsels, and they go down into the innermost parts of the body. Verse 9, he also who is slack, that is lazy in his work, is a brother to him who destroys. At first glance, those seem like different topics, but they're not. Because you see, the fact is, gossip takes time away from other valuable pursuits in our life. We all only have so many hours to live. And when we spend our time talking on the cell phone, texting, checking Facebook to see what so-and-so is up to so we can talk to somebody else about it, we are taking valuable time away from pursuing our goals that will lead to true satisfaction in life. And that's why these two words are related. The first problem with gossip is that it robs us of valuable time. But Secondly, gossip always backfires. Solomon says gossip always backfires. If you are talking to somebody who loves to share gossip about other people, they're happy to share with you private secret communication, but they expect you to fulfill your end of the bargain. And that is to share information you know about other people. Now here's the problem with that. If a gossip is willing to break somebody else's confidence and talk to you, what makes you think they won't break your confidence when they quote you to other people? It always backfires. And that's why Solomon says in Proverbs 20 verse 19, he who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a gossip. Unless you want your innermost life exposed,

19:22 don't hang around with those who engage in gossip. Now there's a second type of divisive speech Solomon warns against, and that is slander. Slander is gossip's first cousin. Now remember, gossip is secret communication, but the word slander means literally to strike, to speak out against. To slander somebody is to openly condemn another person. The person who slanders is so convinced that the person he's talking about is wrong and deserves to have his reputation destroyed that the slanderer says, I'm going to be both the judge, the jury, and the executioner of this person's reputation. The problem with slander is it causes us to make judgments about other people that we're not equipped to make. Whenever we slander somebody, whenever we judge somebody's character, we're performing a role that only God can perform. And God does not like having his position be usurped. Listen, or in fact, we have time. Turn over to James chapter 4, verses 11 to 12, because these verses, by the way, are going to clear up a common misconception many people have about judging other people. James 4, verses 11 and 12. James says, Do not speak against one another, brethren.

20:44 He who speaks against a brother or judges his brother speaks against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law, but a judge of it. There is only one lawgiver and judge, the one who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor? Do you see what he's saying? when you judge another person, you're doing what only God can do. Now I need to offer here a word of clarification. A lot of people would say, well, you're somebody to be up there talking about judging. I mean, there you were down there in Austin with Ann and the others down there and Gary and up there on the Capitol steps railing against abortion and you speak out against adultery and homosexuality. Well, you're the biggest judge in the world. How can you stand up and say, don't judge other people. Listen, whenever we speak out against sin, abortion, adultery, premarital sex, homosexuality, theft, whatever the subject is, we are not making judgments. We are simply repeating the judgments that God has already made. There's a vast difference between speaking God's judgments and formulating our own judgments that we're not equipped to perform. Whenever you judge an individual, what he's saying is don't try to discern a person's motives. Only God knows the motives of a person. Don't pronounce a final condemnation upon somebody to say this person is beyond redemption. That's what a judgment is.

22:25 You leave that to God. Only God is the one who knows what is in a person's heart. When you slander somebody, you're saying, I know what's in that person's heart. I have the right to pronounce a final condemnation upon him. You know, one of the Ten Commandments is, we shall not bear false witness against our neighbors. That's talking about slander. That's talking about making a judgment that we are not equipped to make. The title of today's study is this, You Never Have to Explain What You Don't Say. And there's much more we'll explore on this important topic, so please keep listening. I've written a best-selling book that complements this teaching series. It's called The Solomon Secrets. It's perfect for the young adult or student in your life. I guarantee they're not getting this kind of advice from their friends or professors on secular campuses.

23:22 You can request a copy right now when you give a generous gift to support the ministry of Pathway to Victory. And that's not all. If you've never reached out to Pathway to Victory before, here's your nudge. I'd like to send you, without cost or obligation, In God We Trust. It's a two-disc patriotic collection by our First Baptist Dallas Choir and Orchestra. It's perfect for America's 250th anniversary year.

23:54 Well, when I'm traveling and have occasion to meet listeners, they often ask me how they can help. Without question, the best way to come alongside Pathway to Victory is to give generously. It's your generous support that allows us to broadcast these messages all across America and around the world. Thank you so much. Here's David to tell you more.