RECALL NOTICE

0:17 Well, there's no doubt about it. There is nothing like driving a Rolls Royce, even if it's only a few feet. I mean, just sitting in this car is like, gotta be kidding me. It takes at least six months for some models over a year to build a Rolls Royce. The whole process takes place in England and all of these experts hand make the car. No assembly line. I mean, it's a Rolls Royce. When you just say Rolls Royce, you know you're talking about the ultimate.

1:03 I think it's interesting that Rolls Royce, they don't do a lot of advertising. You don't see brought to you by Rolls Royce, do you? It's just a Rolls is a Rolls. Drop the mic. It's a Rolls Royce. I read this week some shocking news about a Rolls Royce, and this kind of surprised me. There's a major recall notice on Rolls Royces. Their braking system for some of the models has malfunctioned, and this recall notice said that if the owner fails to get the defective part fixed, it could cause a crash. In other words, it could injure the driver and others. A recall notice, even with a Rolls Royce. In this series, God is going to give us a recall notice because there's a lot of defective parts in our relationships, passion, and marriage.

2:11 And specifically today, we're going to look at defective daters. There are some daters out there who are defective. In other words, the spouse selection process is not really going that great. You might be going, well, that's very presumptuous. How could you say that? How could you say that? Well, here's some good news. 86% of everyone, that's right, of everyone who is single wants to get married. Round of applause. It's good. It's good. But here's some bad news. 40% of marriages end in divorce. 67% of second marriages end up as relational wreckage. And 73% of third marriages don't make it. So obviously, we're not doing some things right. so dating is what you do and don't do before you say I do because what you do and don't do before you say I do really has an impact on what you do and don't do after you say I do if you're married in reality if you're a parent the meta-narrative here it's more for you than your kids what?

3:39 just stay with me you might be thinking oh I can just count ceiling tiles or I can play golf for the next several weeks during this series I'm a parent or I'm married no no no no no this series is just for you and it's just for me and I'm a grandfather this Rolls Royce it's a sweet ride isn't it? now some of you are saying oh man I can't believe you drove a Rolls Royce into church? Man, that's gimmicky. No, it's not. It's godly. Oh, that's trite. That's flippant. No, it's from Christ's playbook. If you ever go to church and you find yourself bored, blame the communicator, the pastor. Don't blame God. Yeah, for some reason, we go to church and expect boredom.

4:36 Just the opposite should be true. We are in, and this is gonna mess you up, we are in the entertainment business. Entertainment's a good word. The word entertainment means to capture and hold someone's attention for an extended period of time. What did Jesus do? He captured and he held people's attention for an extended period of time, and he used illustrations and metaphors. Exhibit A, those are just a few. Exhibit B, those are just a little bit of it. So if you don't use illustrations, if you don't use metaphors, if you don't use visuals, you're not being fully biblical in your communication. So we should welcome this.

5:32 And I'm so happy for 35 years. Fellowship Church is a creative church because we are made in the image of our creative creator. The first thing we know about God is the fact that God is creative. In the beginning, God created. You are a creative genius. I am a creative genius. But for some reason, we think we should shut it down in church. what Bible are you reading? You're not reading the Bible.

6:04 You're scrolling too much. I'm talking Bible here. You realize you're a Rolls Royce? I don't think you heard me. You are a Rolls Royce. I mean, you've been custom made, not on an assembly line. You've been custom made. I've been custom made. And the one who made me and you makes a Rolls Royce look pathetic,

6:31 weak, not even getting there. The Bible says that we're made, we're fashioned by the God of the universe. Is that awesome? I'm made in the image of God, so are you. So I'm a Rolls Royce. Just say it. One, two, three. I'm a Rolls Royce. Yeah. Now, some of us don't understand or realize we're a Rolls Royce, but I'm telling you, you are. And when it comes to spouse selection, when it comes to a recall notice, when it comes to defective daters, I want to just give you a suggestion. I want to give you something that I've observed that defective daters do as it relates to a Rolls Royce. Number one, defective daters fail to look at who is driving the car.

7:37 Defective daters fail to open the door and to look and to see who's driving the car. I'm not the only one, but when I pull up to an intersection, if I see it rolls, I'm going to, I mean, I try to be cool, you know. I'm always trying to be cool, but I'm kind of looking.

8:04 I'm like, Lisa, who is in that car? Is it Matthew McConaughey? Sidney Sweeney, Morgan Wallen. Who is it? Some icon? Some multi-billionaire? Who is driving the roles?

8:31 If you're single, because you have the urge to merge. you better look and you better notice parents you better teach your kids this oh please grandparents you can help in this realm who is driving the roles In many circumstances and situations, we white knuckle the steering wheel, don't we? I'm not made to drive my life. My friend, you're not made to drive your life. Yet we white knuckle it. I'm going to drive. I'm going to do what I'm going to do. and it'll work for a while, but this car is not made to go off-roading.

9:27 It's not made to hit guardrails. It's not made for a crash. You don't buy a Rolls Royce going, oh boy, I just dropped a half a million dollars. I can't wait to wreck it. years ago I was in Miami and I have a friend in Miami who is one of the top race car drivers of all time don't google his name his name is Emerson Fittipaldi he's won Grand Prix he's won Indy 500s he is a true legend probably one of the top 10 20 greatest race car drivers ever. So Emerson and I were talking, Lisa was there, his wife was there and Emerson's from Brazil and he's a cool guy, you know, and he, he, he goes, I want to take you and Lisa at this little lunch place, um, down, down the street. I look over and I'm in my Tahoe and I just instinctively, I go, Emerson, I don't know where I'm going. And if you know me, you know, I'm directionally challenged. I just threw him the keys to my Tahoe and he got behind the wheel and we start driving to this restaurant in Miami through that crazy traffic. And I'm saying to myself, Emerson, Fittipaldi is driving my Tahoe. Then I thought, Ed, how foolish would you be to go, hey, Emerson, pull over. Let me drive, my man. I know how to drive and I know how to get there.

11:11 That's how foolish I look when I try to take the wheel from Jesus in my marriage, in my parenting. If you're single in your dating relationship, if you're talking to someone, or if it's official. See, I know the cool lingo. Tinder and Bumble and all the profiles and the texting. One of the reasons that a lot of us can't even talk to a member of the opposite sex is because of these cellular devices. We spend so much time using our thumbs, tapping on the glass screen. We don't know how to meet someone, to have eye contact. We don't understand manners. We don't understand how to ask a lady out. We are absolutely clueless. So we're not doing a good job, even though there are more dating apps than we can think about.

12:08 And speaking of dating apps, have you ever thought about this? They're incentivized to keep you single. They don't want you married. If everyone gets married, they're out of business. It's kind of funny. And a lot of us just OD on options. Oh, look at her. Oh wow But yeah

12:32 I'm going to read to you the most unpopular scripture verse in all of the Bible to those who are unmarried. Are you ready? I mean, you're going to hate this verse, but after I unpack it, I believe empowered by the Holy Spirit, you're going to love it. But when I read it, it'll freak you out. But just, but just listen to it. Second Corinthians chapter six, 14. I didn't write it. The apostle Paul did inspired by the Holy Spirit of God. Here's what he said. Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. Now, back in the day, when I read that, I was thinking about egg yolks and I'm thinking, man, I want to eat egg whites, protein, whatever. No, that's not it. Do not be yoked together with unbelievers for what do righteousness and wickedness have in common or what fellowship, it's a good name for a church, can light have with darkness?

13:20 Oh no, because if I obey this verse and I'm not married, two thirds of the potential candidates have been deleted. Ouch. I don't like that verse. Oh, you will. You will. God has your best interests in mind when he, through the Holy Spirit, appendus from the apostle Paul's hand. You see, Paul was writing to the church at Corinth and Corinth, they were dealing with a lot of issues. It was a very fast paced, very cosmopolitan, very, very, very cool vibe. So a lot of the Christians, they were, they were torn between, should I merge with people who are not followers of Christ?

14:18 I mean, should I do business and really have these deep relationships with people who are far away from God? I mean, what should I do? Well, Paul says, do not be unequally yoked with nonbelievers. A yoke is a piece of farm equipment and you would put animals that have the same nature and the same strength together. And if you did that, you could plow in a straight line. Does that make sense? So ox and an ox, you know, horse or horse, you do that, equal size, strength, you're gonna plow in a straight line. God wants us to hit on all cylinders. He wants us to merge with someone who is a follower of Christ. Is God being capricious or cruel, discriminatory?

15:19 Is God practicing spiritual apartheid here? Heck to the no. He's being strategic and loving. You matter so much to God. I matter so much to God. He couldn't stand the thought of us merging with someone who is not a follower of Christ. So it's a great verse. And the plot even clots. If you look at the book of Deuteronomy, Deuteronomy chapter 22, verse 10, the Bible says this, do not plow with an ox and the donkey yoked together. I wonder, I mean, that's kind of unique that the Bible would say that. But the more I studied it, here's what I discovered. an ox was considered a clean animal to the Jews. A donkey was considered an unclean animal.

16:17 A donkey, if it was hooked up to an ox, if it was unequally yoked, both the donkey and the ox would experience great pain because the yoke is not gonna work on top of that. they're not gonna plow in a straight line. Okay, I get that. As I got deeper, I found out donkeys eat poisonous grass. And if you unequally yoke a donkey with an ox, the donkey's halitosis, bad breath, can make the ox sick. And in some cases, the ox would die. So if you, my friend, merge with the wrong person, watch out for that helitosis. I just made that word up. So this text is really an NDA.

17:14 Did you know God wants us to sign an NDA? NDA, whoa, that's controversial. No, it's not. It's from God. Merge with the same nature. Merge with the same nature because nature determines association. NDA, say it with me. Nature determines association. It's brilliant. It's brilliant. okay who's driving that's the question right singles that we need to ask to this particular person that we're talking to right if you need to ask there's probably an issue because very quickly right up front the person is going to tell you and show you that they're a believer but let's just say you get to know them and you ask them. So you go for the ask, and here's what you ask. Do you have a story? In other words, how do you find out if Jesus is driving the car? You must have a key transferal story.

18:25 I threw the keys to Emerson, and he drove, and I rode shotgun. A true Christian will tell you, okay, here's my vehicle before Christ. Here is how I received Christ. I opened the door of my life. I gave him the keys. I went around the car and sat in the co-pilot seat and he is driving everything I do. You must hear that story. But you know what? People give all sorts of excuses when they're posed with that question. And especially ladies, guys, do this. So I've listed some excuses. You'll see them on the side screens that we give ladies when we're dating about the story question. Number one, oh, babe, you know, isn't it funny how we call it? Babe now, babe, babe. Used to be honey. Babe, babe, babe, babe.

19:26 I've always been a Christian. Really? Well, that's impossible. You're not born a Christian. You make that decision. I believe in God. Babe, I believe in God. Well, the devil believes in God. Demons believe in God to such a degree they tremble.

19:56 When I was 12, I was confirmed. Seriously. Okay, good. Lisa was confirmed in the Lutheran church. That's great. But again, it does not constitute your Christianity or it does not say that Jesus is driving the car. Babe, I'm a spiritual person. laughter laughter everything is spiritual and here's my favorite I attend fellowship church. well I mean great we're glad to have you here but every single person you meet here is not someone who's given the keys to Jesus now most of us have but there are many who haven't That's a pretty good question, isn't it?

20:58 That's a question you can ask your spouse. That's a question you need to grapple with. Have you given the keys to Christ? Because I know if you haven't, your life is a mess. Your life doesn't have any real direction. I mean, the RPMs, revolutions per minute aren't really doing what they should do. But here's another question you can ask this person that you're talking to.

21:31 And I love this one. Hey, are you involved in church? It's very simple, straightforward. And I'm talking to students. Are you involved in church? In other words, do you park your rolls regularly in the church parking lot? Are you involved in church? I meet a lot of people, and I was working out a while back and met this guy at the gym.

22:04 And we got to talking, and he was like, hey, man. I mean, he's a gym bro. Hey, man. what do you what do you got going this weekend and i decided to drop the dime on him because anytime i tell people what i do for a living i love their eyes i watch their eyes they're like this and they're like, they're thinking about all of the F-bombs they've dropped before they knew that. It's hilarious. I love it. It's just humor. It's humor for me, okay? Just let me laugh at it. This guy goes, and I go, well, man, on weekends, I'm pretty busy. Man, what do you do? I'm a pastor. They're like waiting for the punchline. I go, no, no, no. I'm serious, man. I'm a pastor. And I tell people this too, which is true. I said, when I tell you I'm a pastor, put a comma. I'm an author. I've written whatever, almost 30 books. I have done a lot of real estate.

23:14 I do investment. So I do other things, but they still get hung up. Pastor, you got to be kidding. Then they'll go, oh, wow. I, you know, I, man, I, I love the Lord. I, I don't just start confessing. I'm a Christian, man. And then I love this next question. It's a little cruel, but I do it. Not all the time, but now and then when I want to have fun with people, I do it, especially to a gym bro. I'll go, well, oh, that's great. You're a Christian. Where do you go to church um one on the corner oh man what's the pastor's name is it joel osteen uh no no no no bro i mean poor thing i'm like that's okay that's okay that's okay But the person that you're dating should be a part of a local church and involved in the local church. And the person should have been planted there for a while.

24:23 We have, are you ready for this? We have over 10,045 churches and ministries based in Dallas-Fort Worth. So there's no excuse. But the problem is we have a whole band of people. I've been here 35 years who church hot and shop and bop was hot, was not great. We have great churches. Be committed to one church and stay there. I mean, think about marriage. What if you did that in marriage? You know, I'm kind of bored. Boom.

25:08 You're not really talking about what I want to talk about, honey. Boom. So get planted in a church, and you'll see consistency in this person's life, and you'll see the next thing, the fruit of a person's life, and that's the third question. Do they produce fruit? See the exhaust in its rolls? man, dual exhaust. I've studied this and what comes out of the car, the exhaust tells you what's in the car. So this Rolls Royce is going to produce quality exhaust.

25:52 Are they producing the fruit of the spirit? Just go down the list. There's nine of them. I'm going read them fast. I'm not going to unpack each one. Galatians chapter five, verse 22 and 23. Hey, are you a loving person? Do you love God and others? Are you committed? Are you joyful? I mean, is it just based on happenings? Are you just happy when you're driving this ridiculously expensive car? Or are you happy driving a 1967 lime green Delta 88 Oldsmobile? I'll talk about that later in this series. How about peace? Do you have the ministry of reconciliation? Because you will have issues in marriage. Marriage, guys, marriage is hard. Now, it's great, but we have to work at it.

26:52 dating is about marriage and marriage is about dating. Are they patient? Are they kind? Are they full of goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control? I mean, if they want to have sex with you before marriage and they just jump God's guardrails and guidelines, what's going to keep them from jumping in the sack with another attractive coworker once you're married. You ever thought about that? Oh, I can't wait to talk about sex. You know, I've written books about it and I've lectured on it a lot. You might be thinking, well, Ed, what do you really know about dating? You're 65 years old. Well, I know a heck of a lot more than anyone here. I'll tell you that. I've spoken to hundreds of thousands. I counted it up.

27:45 Hundreds of thousands of single adults about these topics. So by God's grace, I'm an expert on this. And we're going to talk about this in an open way. And if you find another way that works, please come down front and tell me because I've never met a person. I have never met a person. I have never met a person who's driving their own car, who has the freedom and the joy and the RPMs. I've never met the person who's hitting on all cylinders like the person who's allowing Jesus to drive. So my prayer for you is unclench your white knuckle grip and give the keys to Jesus. There's another question too. This is kind of a sneaky one. Okay, I'm in the Rolls Royce, okay?

28:38 And you can ask your spouse this and discuss this. So I'm in the Rolls. I'm driving, I stop. All right. man, it's raining outside. That's okay. it's the rolls royce umbrella you've got to be kidding me It's raining. How ignorant would I be if it were raining and I was like this? yeah a lot of us live our lives like this i mean i'm talking about the people that we're talking to drenched in dysfunction pelted by problems i'm getting at authority issues because god's a god of authority and we need to get under those things god has put over us so we can get over those things god has put beneath us but we'll never know what should be beneath us until we get under what God's put over us. How is this person with authority issues? How does this person treat someone that can do nothing for them?

29:56 How does this person treat the server? How does this person treat the guy parking the car at valet? How do you treat your parents? How do you treat those? I'm not saying they're better under the umbrella, under the authority? How do you get under the authority of them? That's a massive question. One of the biggest causes of divorce is authority issues. Last time I checked, guys, we are the leaders of the relationship. I didn't say we're superior. I would argue women are superior, no doubt. But we've been given that mantle. And a lot of guys, a lot of the soft males are like, oh my gosh, it's too hard. It's too difficult. There's too much accountability. And so we dropped the Rolls Royce umbrella.

30:48 Peptides, boom. And when a woman sees an umbrella on the ground, girl, I'm going to pick that up. She'll just take the leadership position. So guys, you need to marry someone who is a princess of the parasol. That's a fancy way to say umbrella. And you need to look for an umbrella fella. Because if this person is not getting under the authority of God, God always works, he always works, he always works with authority, then you've got authority issues. And you better make a U-turn and get out of there. Well, let me circle back because I didn't answer a critical question. why would God, I mean, why would God have this verse in there? I mean, I've given you some reasons, but let's get a little bit deeper. Why, why would God say only merge with followers of Christ? I mean, why, why would God say that? Several reasons.

32:07 I hit on this a second ago, but he wants us to hit on all cylinders. God does. He wants your marriage and my marriage. He wants your dating relationship to hit on all cylinders. It's going the same direction. As I said earlier, you don't buy your roles and go, man, I can't wait to crash it. No, no, no, no. You give the keys to Jesus, and the person you're talking to is giving the keys to Jesus. The person you're married to, both of you have given the keys to Jesus. and you in unity in concert are moving down the road. People say, I just want to find my soulmate.

32:51 There's no such thing. That's Greek mythology. Did you know that? Greek mythology says that Zeus chopped us in half and we're walking around in halves and we'll somehow find our soulmate and then the halves will become a whole. So romantic.

33:12 Well, that's fantasy file. To have a whole relationship, we need to give the totality of our lives to Jesus. Because his math is one plus one equals one. Don't you see the genius of God? Another reason why God insists on this compatibility, I'm sure you were thinking about this. He wants us to read off the same owner's manual. I've been married for 44 years. Can you imagine if I was reading off an owner's manual in a Rolls Royce and Lisa was reading off an owner's manual from a Tahoe? It wouldn't really work, would it? So how do you expect a marriage to work when he's operating off one owner's manual and she's operating off another? you have a difficulty you're troubleshooting how do you deal with reconciliation if you're both reading off the same owner's manual the guy knows i'm the leader of the relationship it's my responsibility to take the initiative to make the relationship right even though she is 99.9% wrong Yeah, it's our prerogative.

34:31 Who is going to make the financial call, the final decision? Who? See all these things. And then I'm pressed for time, but another reason God insists on this is he wants us operating off of the same map app, the same parent map app. Parenting isn't for cowards, is it? and I've heard that kids play parents against one another. I've just heard that. That's a rumor. it's critical that we operate with a unified front in dealing with kids.

35:09 Again, okay, let's say you're operating off one map app. You're going to one destination. Let's say you are following Christ tenaciously. You've given him the keys. He's driving. and let's say the other party is just doing what they want to do. They're not following that map app. They're following another one, a worldly one. Your child comes up and talks about sex. Your mom goes, oh, sex is great, but sex is reserved for the marriage bed.

35:49 Then you talk to dad. Oh, man. If you find the right one, definitely have sex. You got to test drive, right? You see the difference? You see the problems? So number one in defective dating, look and see who's behind the wheel. But there's a second one, and I'm just gonna give you, I'm just gonna drive by on this one, okay? But this is so real, it's scary. Defective daters have the showroom floor mentality.

36:28 The showroom floor mentality. We're looking for cars and we finally see that car. The lights and it's so beautiful. And we contend, I'm talking to guys now, to focus on a few features. Wow. this is a smoke show we focus on a few features and we miss the entire car ladies I'm not gonna let let you off the hook girl I don't care what he looks like he drives the rolls let's say you have half a million dollars or a million dollars to drop on a car you're not gonna go oh man i like the paint job i like the trunk and the grill i'm gonna buy it no we're gonna study it and think about it i'm not sure it's so much money you know Yeah, we make even more expensive decisions when it comes to relationships, and we don't do any homework.

37:58 there's three more that I'll get into next week that play off all of these. So please don't miss it, but I'm gonna go back to the car keys. The big idea of this talk is the car keys. Have you given the car keys of your life to Jesus Christ? That's what I'm asking. because it begins and ends with him. I mean, do you have a white knuckle grip on the steering wheel? Or have you said, yeah, Jesus, you can come in. Yeah, I know it's kind of cramped back there, but you sit in the back seat. If you say that, I'm not even sure you're a follower of Christ because if Jesus is not Lord of all, he's not Lord at all.

38:51 Have you given him the keys? And here's a beautiful thing. He wants to invade our lives. And even though you might be going, Ed, I'm a wreck. He will take those defective parts, those broken parts and repair them and change them and perfect them if you'll just give him the keys. because once you do, friends, once you do, I'm talking to the person in the balcony now. Once you do, I'm talking to downtown and Fort Worth and Frisco and Elasso Ranch and those watching online. Once you do, you'll have a Rolls Royce relationship.

39:42 Let's pray together. Father, I pray for some here who need to make that transfer. You need to simply say, Jesus, I admit to you that I've wrecked my life because of sin. I turn from my sin. Just say then I turn to you. I turn to you, Jesus. I give you the keys. I open the door of my life and I'm moving around to the co-pilot seat. I'm riding shotgun. You take control of me. I turn. I do a U-turn from my sins and turn to you. I ask you, Jesus, just say that to come into my life. I give you the keys. You drive.

40:25 And I'm telling you something, friends. When you make that decision. the RPMs, the cylinders, you won't believe what will happen. So Father, we give this time to you. Bring us back next time as we get even deeper into relationships, passion, and marriage. For Christ's sake, we pray.