Prenuptial Nursery Rhymes

0:01 Welcome to the Fellowship Church podcast. This is Ed Young, and I want to thank you so much for joining us. Each week, you'll hear messages that provide you with real answers from God's Word for the real issues you face every day. I know this podcast will encourage you. So hit subscribe or follow so you never miss a message and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Now let's jump into today's message. Do you remember when your kids were small?

0:33 Think back for a second. For some of you, you might think way, way back. I'm talking about when they were tiny and you were driving your SUV down the freeway and they were strapped into their car seats. Your car smelled like some stale french fries. As a wise parent, you intuitively thought, I better get these kids to sleep. I mean, they need to relax. So, parents, we have found ourselves in this situation listening to nursery rhymes. I'm talking about old school nursery rhymes. I can't believe the amount of nursery rhymes that Lisa and I listened to when our kids were small. Just driving along, we knew that the nursery rhymes would relax them and ultimately put them to sleep.

1:39 I remember as a kid listening to nursery rhymes. My mother read so many nursery rhymes to me. That's probably why I love rhyming to this day. I OD'd on nursery rhymes. As I got older, you know the drill, I realized these nursery rhymes aren't real. They're fantasy file. They're fake, they're phony. They were made up by some creative geniuses. I would suggest to you today, though, that a lot of us, in fact maybe I would suggest most of us still believe in nursery rhymes I think a lot of us are driving through life listening to nursery rhymes and we buy into them you you wouldn't think so on the surface because we're we're smart you know we're well-adjusted DFW suburbanites but but but I'm going to argue, if you'll let me, that a lot of us believe nursery rhymes, prenuptial nursery rhymes.

3:01 And the prenuptial nursery rhymes, we believe, give us a trajectory into marriage. And then scores and scores of us, after we walk the wedding runner, still believe in these nursery rhymes. One of my favorites was a rhyme I heard on the playground.

3:28 Ed and Lisa sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, and then comes the baby in the baby carriage. It makes it sound so easy, doesn't it? First comes love, then comes marriage, and comes the baby in a baby carriage. There is a brilliance, though, about that nursery run.

3:56 Have you ever thought about it? They've got the order right. First comes love, and we've talked about that during this series. You have to have that attraction. The Bible calls that love eros. We get the word erotic from it. Whom, whom, whom. You have to have that. Then it segues from eros into agape, which is that covenant commitment-based love. So first comes love. That's right. Then marriage. Marriage, let me say it again, friends, is the only institution that's analogous to God's relationship to his people. marriage matters i cannot describe to you how important marriage is the bible tells us in genesis chapter 2 verse 24 for this cause for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh that's the order leave and become one.

5:13 Two, become one. It's oneness. The marriage is Trinitarian. God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. Three in one, right? One in three. It's a unity. It's a covenant before God. Something though is amiss in our world today when you think about marriage. We're not doing marriage very well. We're hydroplaning. A lot of us are going off-roading. We're taking a Lamborghini. I mean, if I gave you this Lamborghini, if I said, okay, take it. It's yours. What would you do? You would put the best fuel in it. You would garage it. You would drive it the way it's supposed to be driven. You would go like, off-roading? I would never take a car like that off-roading.

6:08 The car's going to go for a while, but then it will bog down. We have a problem in marriage, a worldwide problem, because we have taken God's order and we have tried to make our own order out of it, and that's led to disorder. first comes love then comes marriage and there is the baby in a baby carriage we have it all inverted in our hookup culture it's sex and maybe love maybe love and sex and then we'll cohabitate together 80 percent of of couples live together before marriage did you realize that 80%. Those couples who live together have a much higher divorce rate than those who don't.

7:13 So we have that inverted. First comes love, then it should segue into marriage. If you wait long enough if you take it slow, if you go through four seasons, fall, winter, spring, and summer, if you date long enough to allow the eros to erode and realize agape love, the commitment love, the covenant love is where marriage resides. I'm not at all saying that there's no erotic love in marriage. Yes. God invented sex. Did you hear me? I know for some of you, that's a wake-up call. God thought sex up. Pornhub did not invent it. Only fans did not think it up. No. God thought it up. Yet our culture, we have taken a God-given desire and it's gone haywire. We have hydroplaned, but there's a problem in marriage. And this problem really goes back to the soils of the garden. Now I want you to stay with me. You've got Adam and Eve. They had some kids, Cain and Abel and Seth and probably others.

8:45 Cain murdered Abel. Interestingly enough, he murdered him over an offering. Isn't that interesting? Cain and his descendants were known as the ungodly. Seth, their other son, was a godly man. His descendants were considered godly.

9:12 God, from the book of Genesis, in fact, I could argue all the way through, said in no uncertain terms, he told the godly people, don't marry ungodly. If you're godly, if you are from Seth's descendants, don't marry the Cainites. What happened? The godly married the ungodly. And we've seen that in the history of God's people. We've seen that throughout the biblical record. And we're facing that today. The godly has married the ungodly. That's why 2 Corinthians 6, verse 14 says, Do not be yoked together with non-believers.

10:09 Don't. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? Is God being discriminatory or cruel? Is he practicing spiritual apartheid? No, no, no, no, no. God has your best interest in mind, my friend. Your best. He wants us to operate off the same owner's manual. He wants us to make sure that Jesus is driving the car. Because if he's not, I hate to rain on your sensual parade. It's not going to work. It's not. Just look at the stats of marital mayhem that we see. Almost half of all marriages end in divorce. 67% of second marriages end in divorce.

11:03 74%, I believe, of third marriages end in divorce. So, oh yeah, we've done a really great job, have we not? Oh, we really know the score, don't we? We really know sex, don't we? We really know intimacy, don't we? Really? Really? The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 6, verse 18, flee sexual immorality. The Bible talks about sexual immorality. The Bible talks about adultery. The Bible talks about fornication. God says, and I'm going to rain on your sexual parade, five times directly and 23 times indirectly, abstain from sex until the marriage bed. Straight up. So for you to turn your back to do a U-turn on God's directives, you are committing cosmic treason before God.

12:00 God will not bless your relationship. It's just not going to happen. furthermore you are really messing up and couples are really hydroplaning when they decide to play house before marriage see ladies you think you can lure your man into marriage you think your man is going to go oh this is so great living together we've just got to get married no it's the best of both worlds for guys free sex, no commitment once she goes crazy-o-active, we're out we're out and you see again the brilliance of god god does not say no about sex he says wait until you mate wait until you find the ultimate well ed you don't know my man he's not in it for sex okay let me give you an experiment those here who are living together ladies you go home and look at your man and go all right i'm cutting off sex for the next six weeks you'll be gone in 10 days 80% of people are living together these days.

13:36 We're turning our back on God's directive. Sex outside of marriage, there's some consequences. 40% of all births are a result of sex outside of marriage. 40%. Every 24 hours, 71,000 people contract an STD. That's a sexually transmitted disease, or you could say a stupid thinking disorder. Either one. 66 million developing babies have been murdered since 1973 and and we're like oh what's happening in the middle east and what's happening in all these wars and this genocide. Oh, it's so terrible. And the U.S., we fear God and we are godly people.

14:42 Really? really? So, I mean, you don't have to be that smart to realize, look at the mayhem of sex outside of marriage and just go, thank you, God.

15:05 I'm going to give you the keys and I'm going to trust you and I'm going to do it your way. first comes love then comes marriage then the baby with the baby carriage that is the right order so I've got to give some some props to that it's been windy did you know that I might just fly a kite. In fact, what if I took a kite right now, went out to the parking lot and just ran around and just threw it up in the air?

15:42 It wouldn't work, would it? But if I took a ball of string and anchored that kite, it's gonna soar. Our sexuality is the same. by ourselves. It's going to come crashing down. But when we say, God, I give it to you. When it's anchored on that ball of string, it's going to soar and we're going to soar. Sex is reserved for the marriage bed. If you're having sex outside the marriage bed, you are committing sin and God will not bless your life. It's not going to happen. So today you can make that choice to go, you know, We're going to move out. You know, we're going to do it God's way. You know, we are going to take this series, live by the principles and precepts, and at the right time, we're going to get married.

16:44 That's nursery rhyme number one. Nursery rhyme number two, this is one of my favorites, hickory dickory dock. The mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck one and the mouse ran down. Hickory tickory dock. That clock. that biological clock.

17:18 Ladies, it starts when you're real small, playing with dolls. Remember Ken and Barbie? I'm going to date myself. Then you have these little crushes on guys, and then you have the prom. And then, surprisingly, a couple years later, several friends run up to you, shoving their diamond prize in your face. Look, we're getting married.

17:53 And you feel like an unclaimed piece of luggage at DFW Airport. You scroll and see all of these beautiful weddings and all of this romance. And let me stop. You know social media is not real. I hope you know that. I know you think it's real. It's not real. Half of the interaction is a bunch of bots anyway. Did you know that? And you can talk to bots. So it's not real. Let me say it again. Hey, kids, it is not real. Everything on there is out of context. Have you ever thought about that?

18:31 Really? Yeah, it's out of context. It's out of context. but the whole marriage thing is there for single ladies and it's almost like social media is singing to you what's wrong with you what's wrong with you life will have no meaning until you say i do It's like the NBA player. The shot clock, the biological clock is ticking. and you're like, man, I'd better take this shot. I know this guy is named Igmo Jones, but he might be the last one coming through. the biological clock the cultural clock the comparison clock go slow go slow you're a Lamborghini I'm a Lamborghini if Christ is driving if he's not no go slow and get to know drive the car long enough for the shine to wear off to understand the brilliance of God's covenant so learn the secret what what am I saying like the Bible tells us of contentment in Philippians chapter 4 verse 12 the apostle Paul says I have learned and that's part of dating isn't it I've learned the secret of being content in any and every situation.

20:22 There is another nursery rhyme, believe it or not. Number three, Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. I didn't know this is right there behind me. This is great. You know what? Let's read this together. One, two, three. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again.

20:49 It ain't easy being oval, is it? But guys, you can be oval, and if you have a lot of money and are driving a Lambo, oh, you're sexy. I can get married and I can fix him. I can get married and I can fix her. I can do what all the king's horses and all the king's men could not do. I can fix you. how many times do we get married thinking that and Lisa can't fix me I can't fix Lisa as I've told you before Lisa and I have bought and sold a lot of houses we flipped houses and there was one house Lisa I know you remember this one this was the coolest house we actually went to this house knocked on the door and we were like hey would you sell it they were like okay and they gave us a great price and you know the house you know was a great house and everything but we went to the inspection which you normally do for this house and you know we've been to and through a lot of inspections so we walked in this house this house is a little bit older and we were with the inspector he was like standing to my left and Lisa's to my right and I looked and sitting on the hearth.

22:28 like this. We're the sellers. I thought, that's unusual. I mean, it's kind of weird a little bit, you know, for the seller to be there. I'm sure a lot of you go, well, I'm gonna go get ripped off. Just don't show up for that, okay? That's not a smart move. They were sitting there like this. they didn't get up when we walked in and let me give you some manners I'm going to do a series on manners whenever you are seated at a restaurant or a table or anywhere get the heck up off your butt look the person in the eye shake their hand excuse me your manners are showing so these people just sat there and now that's weird isn't it didn't get up they kind of nodded our way and the house brilliantly passed the inspection great house so you know the drill went to the mortgage company and they approved it and blah blah blah blah all the you know papers and lawyers and the title and you know So it's moving day.

23:54 And so I am... I need to show you how to get up if you're into jujitsu. An instructor showed me that. Oh, my sister can't do it. This is totally free of charge. Let me see. She said, somehow you back up, back up, back up.

24:17 Here. I think that's it. I don't know. It's okay. Okay. So. I'm carrying back to the house boxes. And Lisa goes, honey, put the fireplace equipment on the hearth. So I walk over and I put it on the hearth. The whole hearth falls into the family room. These people were covering the cracks. don't laugh they were sitting on the fractures what are you doing sitting on the fractures? What are you doing? I mean, allow the Holy Spirit of God to invade your relationship.

25:12 Allow him to inspect you. We all are broken. We all are sinners. We all are fractured, but that's not what I'm supposed to do. and you feel me as a husband, and that's not what you're supposed to do as a wife. There's only one physician who can heal our wounds, who can bandage us up. His name is Jesus of Nazareth. Number four, Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. I don't know why I'm singing this. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. if I get married, if I can get the diamond prize, if I can lure him, we're living together, down the wedding runner, right?

26:18 I'll never be lonely again. This person, watch this, will solve my companionship cravings because I have companionship cravings. I made it in the image of God, so do you. so what happens in marriage is we get married and there is a divine side to relationships that can only be fulfilled by the god of the universe there's also a human side that can only be filled with community and connection with human beings Here's why so many marriages end up as relational wreckage. We are putting divine pressure on a human relationship.

27:17 We think that person can meet the needs that only God can meet. And when it doesn't work, we're out. we hook up with someone else doesn't work again it doesn't work it doesn't work the Lord Jesus is our ultimate companion it starts with him it starts with the keys it starts with him driving Jack and Jill companionship isn't it interesting one falls the other falls Just read the nursery rhyme. That's the math of marriage. And sometimes if the spouse falls, Jack goes, you know what? I'm tired of Jill. I like the way this younger girl walks up the hill.

28:11 number five row row row your boat gently down the stream merrily merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream marriage is dreamy isn't it Not really.

28:36 There are moments that it's dreamy and steamy. but sometimes you can have bad dreams and even nightmares. but we think marriage will solve all of my problems i mean i'm single and i'm so busy as a single really just get married crank out a couple of kids then you'll be busy you look back and go what was i doing as a single adult we think though that marriage is going to put everything together and Then you get married. The shine kind of wears off. You go, I'm going to have some kids. That'll really gel us together.

29:31 kids I've written an entire book on this keeping intimacy at a distance successfully it spells kids kids really we love our kids we would give our lives for our kids but that's not that's not going to do it and the apostle Paul when he was writing to the Corinthians was encouraging them, hey, you don't have to get married. Paul was like going, marriage brings more problems. Have you ever thought about that? Now, I know 91% of us will get married at least once, and I highly recommend marriage. Most of us need to get married. I'm not saying that. But God does gift some people with the aptitude of the single lifestyle.

30:29 and I want to thank the Lord for the singles at Fellowship Church. I want to thank the Lord for the young adults. We have a young adult ministry led by J.C. Lopez that's awesome and if you're single, think about what you can do. You can be involved in two or three ministries. You have to worry about your spouse, kids. You don't have those financial worries, do you? You don't have as much conflict in your life, do you? No, no, no. You're just single. So some of you, maybe God will bless you with the gift of singleness. But again, I go back to marriage is not always a dream 24-7. What if marriage, as I've been saying around here, was more for your sanctification than your satisfaction?

31:25 What if marriage was more for your discipleship than just your delight? Marriage mirrors our relationship with the Lord Jesus. do it God's way. That's all I'm saying. Do it God's way. Do sex God's way. Do dating God's way. Do spouse selection God's way. Do it God's way. Because God's way is the real way. It's reality. It's not fantasy files. It's not a bunch of nursery rhymes. But let's do it God's way. next time I'm going to drive a car on stage you have never seen before. You will not believe the car that will be on the stage next Sunday.

32:30 And even if you watch it online, you're not going to have the same experience. I mean, in fact, I would say very few people have ever seen a car like this. That's next time. I know you can't wait, I can tell. who has the keys to your car if Jesus is not Lord of all then he's not Lord at all. I'm talking about Jesus being the driver, not just a driver, the driver. Because when that happens, you'll hit on the RPMs that God desires. maybe you're here today. Maybe you're at one of our campuses in Dallas or Fort Worth.

33:27 Maybe you're watching online. Maybe you're in Frisco. Maybe you're at Lasso Ranch. And maybe just maybe you've never given the keys of your life to Jesus, the keys of your everything to him. I want to encourage you to make that decision. Because the Bible is about news. bad news is we're sinners. The worst news is we deserve eternal separation from God. The good news is God did something about it by sending Jesus Christ to die on the cross for our sins and rise again. And the great news is you can make the choice today to give the keys to Christ. Have you made that decision? Have you transferred the keys to him? Because that's where it starts. I mean I push a button to start this Lambo this is how you start you have to have a relationship have you made that step that decision you can say it and make that decision right now by simply saying you can say it with me Jesus I I believe to the best of my ability that you lived perfectly and died sacrificially and rose bodily I admit to you I'm a sinner I do a U-turn and turn to you.

34:43 I give my life.