The Last Few Weeks

0:03 Hey, hey, everybody. Well, here we are in good faith in different settings. Just for clarification, Judah, you and I are not fighting. That's not why we're in separate rooms. Correct. Not currently fighting. Correct. Not saying we haven't or we won't, but in the moment, that's not why we're apart. Yeah. For those faithful listeners of In Good Faith, which, by the way, babe, I mentioned this when I was recording just like a three-minute episode for last week. Our In Good Faith audience doesn't have a name. And I feel like all good podcasts, the listeners have a name. Like our friends. Oh, I didn't know that. Well, yeah. Let me inform you. Yeah, but don't you think that can get a little bit cheesy or no? I don't know. I'd be curious. Like what am I leaning back now? I'd be curious for people to speak for themselves if it's cheesy or not.

0:58 It's just nice to be able to. Let's say that. If you're out there and you love this podcast, I actually ran into a person a couple of days ago at 8 p.m. out on the streets. And they said, they said, actually, I really like your podcast. And the actually was not totally encouraging. Are we surprised by this? Yeah, there was slight surprise, I think, in that person's voice. But nonetheless, I was encouraged. So, yeah, if you want to be called something, you could just be called friends of the podcast. I know, but that's like feels so, I don't know. I do see a benefit of addressing like, hey, faithers. I'm so bad at naming things. So I always do that. But anyway. GFers? What's that? Judah, that's the thing. GFers?

1:47 GFers. GFers. The faithers? The good faithers? The GFers? I-GFers. I-GFers. So yeah, for people who are listening consistently and wait on the edges of their seats on Mondays for new episodes to come out, you will have noticed that we have not had new episodes the last few weeks. um and we are going to get into it today why and or kind of what our life has been and basically our the last month has been a series of unplanned unforeseen and some unfortunate events and so obviously we'll tell our story and what our life has been like and you know i was reading the news yesterday and saw all of the mass shootings that just happened a few days ago in our country. And in light of that, what we have been through feels very simple, you know? Um, so I always want to say things like that to put it in perspective, but I do want to talk about what we've gone through while it's still really fresh and new and shape it in the way of where, where is God when things don't work at? When, when things don't go according to plan, which you know, me, I love a plan. There's not planning is a lovely, you're in a meeting for something for church today and they were almost apologizing for planning so far in advance i was like oh no no this is my love language i love a plan yeah but when you make a plan and things don't go according to plan it's easy to just ask where is god or when life feels chaotic or things are going out of your control in a not positive way and um we've asked ourselves that question quite a bit in here in these last, this last month or so.

3:32 So we'll kick it off. Same. I'll, I will. I feel like, by the way, to look at you, the camera on the, is up here. So everyone, I just want you to know I'm not. Yeah. I'm trying to look at the camera, but you're right there. So get that out in this new format to also give feedback. Like look at the. Cause I want to look at. Cause that's me looking at the camera. And that's me looking at you. can you tell the difference you tell the difference with me this is me looking at you and at the camera you yeah i kind of like you looking at me actually well i like to look at you because you're like it i like okay perfect well well that's settled so one problem's all check that off the list i also i don't know who's gonna do this just my computer screen out very sunburned it's actually not sunburned it's just yeah i was gonna say no you you You will not get sunburned.

4:27 You're very careful about that, frankly. So anyway, the last month started out incredible. And this was planned. You and I got a week and a half together out of the country. And we had the most glorious time. We were. Well, I thought it was longer than a week and a half. We left. Well, we left. Oh, just by ourselves. Without kids. Right. Got it. Sorry. A week and a half. And we do we not have the best time? And before we get into all the sad stuff, like, can we just go back to those incredible, whatever, 11 days of me and you and no cell phone. No phone. And beach and countryside. And it was just heavenly. So wonderful. It was. What's your favorite memory from that trip you and I took? By the way, we were in the south of France, which kind of sounds so bougie. That's where we were.

5:21 I have an In Good Faith mug. So you know what? Oh, my word. Charles does incredible trip planning and blew me away with not only the great spots and places we went, but the great deals that you got. It was so meaningful. I mean, it's tough to feel better than walking to dinners at night together, you know, by the ocean out there. and just the anticipation of going to dinner. And in most cases, we were just going to feel it out. And whatever spot we saw, we were going to go with. In fact, I think every night that's what we did. Yeah. It was just fun. One time we called it to and got a reservation for that evening. But that was it.

6:12 And actually, as much as I love a plan, I don't love a plan on vacation. I like a great plan for a spot, but I don't like a place that I have to be all the time. And I definitely want to say that I read three full books on this trip. I never do that. I love that so much that obviously I love to read. But you got into like golf history books. You're reading great stories about- Golf history books. It was crazy. And so sitting on a lounger next to you on the beach, you got a sparkling water. I had an Aperol spritz. and us like reading side by side. It was, if there is a heaven, that is my heaven. And quality time in you is just absolutely incredible. And that fuels me and fills me like nothing else. Because it's interesting days together, how it's almost like every day is peeling back a layer.

7:11 And then all of a sudden you get to, I can't remember, you get to like 10 days in which would yeah i don't think we do very often but it's just like the meaningful conversation and the ease and it was just i love we've had a card game that we played and kept tally yeah do you yeah 313 if you know you know you know and you won the tally of our days together which was annoying but i almost on the airport on the way home i almost made it i almost made a run back yeah but yeah and it was fun we got to play cards on a train we missed our train one day that was uh oh man i was so disappointed i was despondent sure but that is traveling and that is like things don't go luggage got lost i left my phone behind and you didn't bring your phone like my european number so we were like phone list we had phone literally phoneless we had a burner with us but then we lost the burn um so i mean we just had good memories and so anyway we're timed by ourselves and then the kids were coming over to meet us for five it was just a quick trip five days for them you got stung by jellyfish yeah that did happen i almost forgot about that and it that was wild right on right on your behind and it looked the sting was in the shape of the of australia here's the crazy thing is it was a vacation day in France. And so the beach was packed with people. And it was one of those beaches where it's like sandy for 50 yards. And so people are like standing in there all day long playing paddle ball and catch and just talking and hanging out. I don't want to exaggerate.

8:48 Hundreds, if not thousands. Nobody runs out of the ocean with a jellyfish thing. I don't spend hours in the ocean. I just go dip in to cool off. So I just went into and I was in there for 45 seconds and all of a sudden i felt this like i mean it's literally a sting but if anyway and i turned and i saw i saw the little guy and i came out he might got strong and your leg was throbbing for a few days like it yeah like my lymph node on my in my hip got all and then um that was that but oh but even that was like okay you know it's it is what it is we'll make the most of it i couldn't we we did room service at night for dinner because i couldn't sit down so just laid on my life i mean that was like the the hardship of yeah i think everyone at this point in the podcast is like wow rough life still really for you but it's not incredible and then uh the plan was we are the kids came over to meet us in paris none of us have been to paris before to meet us there for five days and then the kids are going to go home and you and i were going to go on to a work trip for a few days so do you want to tell the story what happened when we got to paris yeah so you booked a really great hotel kind of in the middle of it all in Paris on points.

10:11 Thank you. Shout out to points. American Express. Credit card points. And so we had adjoining rooms. We had all of our kids and our son's fiance. The girls, you know, our daughter and son's fiance was sitting and sleeping in one part of the room, just to be clear, and our two sons on the other. And so we're all excited. We have adjoining rooms. It's going to be a big family celebration. Remember I told you, I was like, I feel like a kid about to go to Disneyland. I was so excited for them to come in. And we were getting a lunch over by the Eiffel Tower. We were all excited. And unfortunately, I'll never forget what happened. The kids had literally come to the hotel room. They'd been like 10 minutes because they were all tired and hungry. And so like, hey, let's just put our stuff away, get changed. And our oldest Zion, who's almost 20, literally said he didn't sleep much on the plane and had been had been a little tired and um all of a sudden you know something on there forget the the screams of of his fiance wonderful young lady who we love so much today started screaming and our uh our son uh was having a major seizure I don't think they call it a grandma seizure anymore and it's probably the most painful five minutes of my life um hopefully forever the the most the It was painful for the rest of my life.

11:35 And he seized up pretty considerable for a few minutes, relaxed, and then went into it again. I was running down the hallway at one point just screaming, is there a doctor? Is there a doctor? Not sure how it happened so fast. I know we did call the front desk and the GM at this hotel was so helpful. But then, you know, seven, eight, nine minutes, there was a doctor there. We had a translator. Zion had kind of come back to us, which was great. He didn't like. No, I was pretty scared. He was pretty disoriented. And I didn't know this because I never experienced it before, but I guess your tongue goes numb after a seizure. And so he couldn't talk or enunciate or get words out. And I'm like, Zai, do you know who I am? I mean, this is like in retrospect, he is fine now, by the way. But I was like, Zai, do you know who I am? I was just trying to figure out.

12:28 And he's like, yes, your day. His fiance. no well it's like no i am and um and day has a it was actually what she has a beautiful spanish name that i would butcher i try to say but signs like henna and then he said her full said the full name middle was not speaking enunciating his words at that point you're just not sure if what would have caused the seizure from when he's the age he is and all of that yeah so yeah day and i proceed to take him to the hospital and like he ended up staying overnight but um yeah it was just a wild that journey like literally the day had never been out of north america before and here she is her first time she's so sweet staying at the hospital with him and um yeah not not according to plan whatsoever we didn't have our family meal all the eiffel power. I don't think we had a meal together as a family until two days later, three days later.

13:32 A couple, three days, I think. Yeah. Wow. It's definitely the fragility and brevity of life hits you like a ton of bricks, you know? And yeah, you start to think about a lot of stuff. For the record, probably like everybody else, you realize that forgiving people, loving people is, is just really what matters. Um, and then people are what matters. Um, yeah, so it's just, uh, it was definitely, uh, a painful time and I'm not sure, you know, our family, I think, you know, we're, we bonded and we're hopefully closer than ever but i'm not sure i'm even i don't think i've been as hungry since to be honest i think it's kind of affected even you know wanting to eat and all that but um you know we're moving into summertime i'm excited about the summer and and what's ahead and we're going to get some time together on on the lakes of seattle which will be great so yeah I mean, you and I didn't, oddly, I don't even think had this conversation, but I was so annoyed at God.

14:47 I don't know if mad is the right word because, but annoyed. Just like, really, God, you're in charge of everything. I think our families are some of the good guys. This was our trip before our son gets married. The last time that you and I get to dictate, like, hey, this is what we're doing as a family. you know um just such special time that as a mom for sure i was looking forward to and then to get robbed of it beyond the scariness of all of it um and i definitely had complaining moments with god i don't know if you did well then the second day that the kids were there zion's in the hospital judah got super sick like you never get sick but you didn't talk which to me is the um sign it and I honestly just felt the loving correction of God in that moment when I was complaining to him just to tell me hey do you know how incredible it is that I gave you this son and how blessed I am to have children that I care about and to have, you know, and just that, I don't know how God does it.

16:10 And I feel like he does it for you too, but his gentle nudging correction, corrective reminders, but that don't make you feel bad about yourself or worse about circumstances, but actually bring significant peace. And for me, that moment with God of him just reminding me that he's actually God's son and not mine. And, yeah, that was comforting for me, even though it was a bit of a correction in the middle of my… Yeah.

16:43 Yeah, I think ultimately, I mean, I certainly said plenty of cuss words in my alone time with God. Maybe I shouldn't admit that, but that's the truth. was obviously frustrated and tried to take that frustration to God. And we wondered and we talked, was my body just kind of shutting down almost literally like a day after I probably spent 26 hours in bed or something between a couple of days. It was wild. I couldn't even barely move.

17:20 But I think ultimately from where I sit now, So we actually did have a pretty redemptive trip and ended up making some really special memories and did some really cool stuff. You know, I think the overwhelming sense of gratitude as it relates to all of the variables that can go wrong in this fragile life. you know, you're just reminded again that so many things can go wrong. And I hope this isn't the kind of podcast that gets people in their head considering all the variables that could go wrong or slightly off. But we are like so fragile, you know, a little bit of the wrong substance in our body, for instance, and it's over. And when you're seeing your firstborn son instantly, suddenly, really gone and out of control of his faculties, and we just felt so helpless. And our middle son was there trying to encourage us to roll him over so he could still breathe and our daughter was was was obviously in tears in the other room and glad she didn't come in to witness it it's something you never forget but um in the meantime you know it is interesting how much of our lifespan down here we don't think about fragility and brevity and i know that they both rhyme but actually it's true like they rhyme for jill for jill brevity yeah they just oh come on podcasts will let us know fragility they just have a common last syllable all right well um but anyways like life is short and life is precious and yeah i think both you and i ended up coming away with a lot of gratitude as it pertains to that and um you know i would

19:32 never wish that on my worst enemy. I really mean that. And just reminded, I mean, we all have people who don't prefer us and don't like us. And if you're a public servant out there, that kind of comes with the territory these days. You're going to have critics of all kinds and some mean well and some don't. But boy, those are moments where you're like, I actually love people. I don't want people to be harmed or hurt, even those who seek to harm and hurt others. And, you know, and that's a you wish that you didn't need sobering moments. But man, God, I am reminded that God works all things together for good. And I don't think I needed that to learn anything. But it has happened and we have learned and certainly made the trip.

20:30 that much more precious and valuable. And obviously, every day we've seen our firstborn son since is they just want to hug him and hold him. And it's something that will always be with us for the rest of our life. He's probably like, Mom, stop hugging me. Because it was so traumatic for all of us. He doesn't remember like six hours. He doesn't remember anything. He was just annoyed that he was in the hospital. yeah he wanted to get up off the floor of the hotel room you know he's like what do you guys do let's go to the you know like yeah yeah it's wild yeah it's cool i think for me seeing god and that was that reminded from god that my son's not my own my life isn't my own my money isn't my own my house isn't my own and these things that we tend to at least for me as planner like stake our security on and like talk about how fleeting those things are um but yet god is ours and he is the same and he is stable and thinking about what we've built our life on um have we built our life on god or have we built our life on things that are fleeting and can't change. It's also cool for me to see, I think a lot of things in life that are tragedies, we don't know why. We'll never get the answer to why. But I do think if we're careful and if we look and we ask God for help, we can see redemption in it. We can see, hey, God, what are the things that can happen through this that can't happen through anything else? For me, I bonded with zion's fiance in such an incredible way i got to see her strength and her love for my son which is really cool um i don't know it's just hard to imagine as a mom anybody loving your son as much as you do and to realize that maybe she loves him more you know like that's just just cool things in the process of redemption but our craziness did not stop with zion's seizure on the trip um the

22:39 kids came they had to extend their trip for a few days because i couldn't get cleared until he could clear to fly so you get an mri and aeg and all those things which came back normal but um our chaos and unplanned life continued as we got home and i'll just rattle through these things um because it doesn't matter but oh no i'll give an example of something that i thought about i got a coffee cup here and i'm going to use the coffee cup i don't know if it's very profound but it's meaningful to me it's meaningful to you share or do you want me to say the other random things first yeah say the other okay so randomly i mean our car broke down it's actually still yet to get towed in the middle of it our middle son had a tooth infection that was so bad he had to end up with a root canal but it was over a weekend and he couldn't get we couldn't get him into the dentist and i mean yeah he has a super high pain tolerance um and then i like anyway so So he's loud like his dad.

23:40 Like literally got woken up multiple times a night if I'm just like pounding the floor because they don't. Yeah. It, um, yeah, it just hurts your heart. Um, I was feeling after all that, I was feeling so good. I decided to do a workout with my friend that I don't normally do. She talked me into it like a high intensity workout, but the kind of like a heart rate monitor and I've only been doing yoga for the last year. so I'm not in this kind of shape so I like did nothing on this workout like there are people in this class doing serious work and I had five pound dumbbells or no weight at all and running on the treadmill during the intervals oh no no I was walking and the guy would say like put your um what's it called your elevation up to 11 I was at like two I was like no no no because I you have the heart rate monitor and you're supposed to go too high so I mean I did nothing on this workout. Well, three days later, I'd kind of been sore the next day, but not anything abnormally. So my arm just swelled up huge, really bizarre. I was like, that's weird, but it didn't really hurt. It was just swollen. And the next day, the next morning, it was even bigger. And you were kind of like, Hey, you're like, Ben, that's not normal. So I did what you're never supposed to do when you have an injury. And I Googled it and nothing like none of the google images i looked up swollen elbow or arm like none of them fit but then i clicked on one that's like this lady is holding up her arms look just how mine look and it's like she had this whole story of i don't know if i can say it right rhabdomyelosis or whatever and then there's another image with somebody who had the arms that just looked like mine i clicked on it it was the same thing like just one pop by arm but it was like yeah really bizarre so um i clicked on it what is this. And it's like, it is a rare, but life-threatening complication from trauma or over-exercising or whatever, whatever. And like, babe, I think I need to go to urgent care. So I ended up having that. Fortunately, I had a mild case of it. Most people have to be hospitalized for it. They just treated me outpatient. So I just had to go get IVs multiple days in a row and get

25:50 tested. But thank God I got to be at home. But I'm still not recovered from that. They say it takes can take weeks to months. It's basically like your muscles break down in such a way that put extra something in your blood that blocks your kidneys. And I don't know. It's a really bizarre, random thing. And so in the middle of that, Elliot's having to go to the dentist all the time. I literally can't even get out of bed. You were so sweet. And so you had to step up and like you were really incredible just want to give you props in the moment of like you just you took care of elliot you you cooked food for us you took care of zion who's still feeling a little bit out of out of sorts like it's been that's that's been a journey so um and then our like our dog got sick it's just it's just been one of those when i had to call the vet i i almost just started chuckling but what do you what are you gonna do so or cry yeah or crying it's one of those i'm gonna laugh i'm gonna cry so i think laughing will be better for my um but yeah looking for the redemption and all of that just seeing you serve your family and take care of us being you know just having me being forced to lie down i watched two seasons of the amazing race because I could sleep during the number one show that stresses me out. I really enjoy it.

27:25 What's your analogy with the coffee cup now that I think it's like, it's like splitting the difference between finite and forever and like understanding, understanding between the two, what is ultimately valuable. And like, you know, I have this coffee cup and I could tell you like, this is my coffee. And you'd be like, oh, cool. Like, I love my coffee. That's amazing. But everyone who understands the disposable nature of this coffee, at some point, if I keep telling you how awesome and how much I love my coffee, you're going to be like, at one point, somebody in your life is going to go, you know, bro, to be honest, it's coffee like okay we get it but it's just i will never say that because coffee is very important in life but what i mean is this actual you know cup that will be thrown away and what i mean is like eventually you can talk about how great this is but everyone knows it's it's to be consumed and then you're gonna need to get another one now coffee in general as a constant in your life is you know awesome and we all love it but like this particular coffee is fading, finite, and this will be thrown away by the end of this recording.

28:47 But it's amazing how we understand the scale of how limited and disposable, temporary, and to be consumed, and this is only as valuable as it serves a human and is enjoyed, and then it's gone. And I think in these experiences, it's just... I feel so inadequate. I feel so broken. I feel so unstable at times. And it's like a renewed detachment from these finite things that I can fill my days with. And why is a house, a car, a technology, clothes, or jewelry, any different. It's not much different. Now, all the economists and all the money managers will tell you that this is an asset. Invest in your asset. We can talk about getting things that appreciate and all that. But wait a minute.

29:57 The bumper sticker is not true. He who dies with the most toys does not win. Those toys are just gone. And so as much as I love financial... Do you mean that bumper sticker is true? It's not true. As I said, as much as we know that bumper sticker... He who dies... And we've heard of it. It's not true. He who dies with the most toys doesn't win. Yeah, they don't win. I'm sorry if I didn't complete the thought. I think, you know, and whether or not this applies to... Yeah, I might have said that wrong, but whether or not this applies to you know, So I don't think, Chelsea, I don't think your life has been ruled by things and possessions and stuff.

30:41 But I think, you know, I was raised in a family. We didn't have much. And so then you get a little bit an opportunity and you get excited. But it's still just a paper cup with coffee. Like it's not much more. I think you enjoy the coffee. I think you should enjoy that vehicle. You should enjoy your homes. You should enjoy flowers, even though they're fleeting and fading. But what really matters is what's forever. And, you know, you don't even have to be someone who worships the person and way of Jesus to understand, like, finite and forever, which is more valuable? Well, it's not even close. It's what's forever. And humans are forever. And the divine is forever. and love, you know, in that sense is forever. And I just, yeah, you're just reminded again, you know, and maybe I'm the one that needed to be reminded.

31:37 But I hope in some small way the pain of this spring, summer season, which thank God is coming to a close, and we're going to enjoy the month of July and August. It's going to be great. And then our oldest son has a wedding pending in September and we're excited. But man, I'm reminded how fickle and finite this life is and to really connect again to what is forever. I'll take it a step further even to what you're saying because you're talking about finite things of houses and cars and jewelry or whatever. And yeah, that was some of our car. I'm just still waiting. um but you know humans are forever but they're not forever on this planet they're not forever the way that we know it on this earth um our health is not forever and it's crazy those those five minutes of zion seizure like how many thoughts go through your head and you know when you just don't know and that realizing this is my son but he's not forever and he's not forever here on this planet with me and if all of that should radically change in these moments there's somewhere i can have a piece you know or you know for me my health which has been a bit of a struggle anyway and then to get this stupid random rare thing just that it's like that is different than houses or cars or things when it's your health when it's your babies when it's your whatever yeah and finding the redemption and the goodness of god in that and realizing that our health is not forever.

33:30 Even though we invest a lot of money in trying to be healthy and are so grateful for the medical system, by the way, which is just had an indoctrination into these last few weeks. But God is. And if we can see him and grab hold of that, then we can find him when things don't go according to plan, when things are chaotic. And it doesn't make things better when you're so frustrated, you know, that things aren't planned, but it can give a sense of deep peace in the middle of it. And we just had to fight for it this last season, probably mean more than you, because you've been so busy just running around and helping all of us.

34:09 Well, that's very nice of you to say. I'm thinking, too, coming up on this week, the first presidential debates, how much we try to put significance and weight and eternal weight and significance on those things. And yeah, I'm sure they're significant on some level, but if we could all be reminded and remembering those things. Yeah, but the presidency is not eternal. A leader, a government is not eternal. And keep things in perspective that way, I think that can help some people in their, enjoy summertime and enjoy moments with family and enjoy the things that we do have even when they're not perfect and not according to plan. Yeah. And I think because of the finite and fickle nature of life, it also is connecting to what's eternal and forever. And then what is temporary to lean in and be present, as they say, in the moment, because it's well and truly all we have this side of eternity. I got to baptize a friend in a lake last week, a new friend, and his mom passed when he was a young boy. And I said, is there anything you want to say before we dunk you, you know, baptize you? And he said, mom, I don't know if you can hear me, but I know I'm going to see you again. And, you know, whatever anybody out there believes about faith, I just can't help but say how wonderfully pure my friend seemed and felt to me in that moment where out of nowhere, he was deciding to become someone who follows the person and way of Jesus. He just had this sense. He'd never spoken like that before. I'm going to, I'm going to see you again where before he didn't know if he'd ever see his mom again. And I just, you know, that hope of forever and that hope of reuniting is, beautiful.

36:10 And it can, you know, I mean, in that moment, you and I both had to have thoughts that were fast, but they were there. Like, you know, what if this is the end? And you don't want to think those thoughts, but you have to in that moment, particularly what we were witnessing and feeling. And, you know, I just thank God for the perspective of forever that helps you make the most of the seconds, minutes, and moments we have down here. So you're right. We're, we're leaning in, man. This summer we are, we are trying to maximize every day with these, with these babies and with each other. And I'd like to say we had very good morning sex this morning. But you can't be that detailed. Let's be honest. It was like the second time in like three weeks because I not had it in me. So also. I didn't, I wasn't going to say that. That's for you to say, I'm not saying it.

37:06 When your body isn't quite right. Anyway, we'll go there. Yeah, I made me think like, why did Zion have to have a seizure for me to hug the crap out of him every time I see him? And whatever that looks like in your life to enjoy moments and days and things that are not going to be here forever to stop and do that. Do you want to pray for people who are feeling, maybe wondering where God is right now and conclude our episode?

37:34 Yeah. Yeah, I do. Yeah, I'm just reminded of that moment when Jesus cooks breakfast for some of the disciples in Peter after Peter had denied him. Jesus is now resurrected. He's returned from the grave and he fixes breakfast, which is my favorite meal. And he says to Peter, Peter, do you love me? And Peter says, you know, you know. but one of my favorite thoughts that changed my life forever was you know jesus knows that if you're out there and you he knows that you love him but he wants you to know today that you're a lover of god and you're a lover of people and sometimes we even those out there of faith they're like and i i know god loves me yeah but do you know that you love god because you do and you're probably pretty hard on yourself.

38:30 And so I'm praying in a way that that will speak to you. And so, yeah, let's pray. God, I thank you for right now, first of all, and even why Chell and I are recording this, that you can use technology to meet people in the minutes and moments that they watch this episode. There is undoubtedly so many people who feel alone and so many people listening to this prayer who feel like a failure and they feel unqualified.

39:06 Maybe they felt like Chelsea and I felt where suddenly in five minutes your whole world is crashing and you feel so fragile and so broken. Can imagine that there are friends of mine listening right now who feel like that. So in the same way that you comforted my wives and I, I ask that you would comfort my friends listening to this prayer right now. Be as real to them as their next breath.

39:40 Minister to them and remind them they love you and they're aware of you. You love them and you're aware of them and you're with them. ask all these things by invoking your name which is indicative of who you are you are Jesus the savior and deliverer and we thank you for that amen