Tyler and Hayley Hubbard

0:02 Hey, everybody. We are excited once again to share with you another episode from our vault. You know, as Judah and I look back on our 25 years of marriage, really some of the hardest things that we have experienced together has been around grief and specifically the loss of Judah's father. So when we met this incredible couple, Tyler and Haley Hubbard, she is an amazing woman in every way. Tyler is the former lead singer of Florida Georgia Line. Since we recorded this episode, he has now launched his solo career, which has just been so fun to watch because he's such an incredible man. So when we met this couple, Tyler and Haley, for the first time and Judah and Tyler found out that they have both lost their dads, there was an immediate bond that we felt together as couples, Judah and Tyler, in relating to what that experience was like, and Haley and I in relating to what it was like to support a spouse who had lost their parent. And I think the reality is, is that in life, if everything goes according to plan, we are going to have to face the loss and death of our parents.

1:15 And not that that's something that we necessarily need to dwell on or focus on on this Monday, But I do think it is so beneficial for us to have some tools to prepare us for the difficult and challenging seasons of life. What an incredible tool that we found with the Hubbards was, was going to an extended therapy retreat. It was the first time Judah and I had ever done anything like this. Tyler and Haley had been there before and they invited us along and it was so life changing. It was bonding. We feel like we are friends with them for life because of the experiences we had together with them. And so we're excited to share this episode with you to really give you those tools to help with the challenging seasons of life, as well as to demonstrate, I think, a really fun friendship between couples who've walked through similar things together. So I'm really believing you're going to get so much out of this episode.

2:11 I hope you enjoy it as much as we did when we had this conversation with this incredible couple. Thank you. Today is all about intentionality. Being intentional with your life, your partner, your family. Especially in the face of grief. I'm Chelsea Smith. And I'm Judah Smith. And this is In Good Faith. Today on the show, we are so excited because it's not just a conversation between me and Judah, although I love those. Those are great too. But we get to have an amazing conversation that we had with some really close friends of ours who are, drumroll, Haley and Tyler Hubbard. Yeah, it was so incredible. We cannot wait to share this with you. If you don't know them, you are about to, but he is the lead singer for Florida Georgia Line and she leads an incredible podcast. Meaningful Living. And they parent three of the most beautiful humans.

3:04 We talk about shared trauma, grief. We also talk about therapy and healing. And we actually laughed about, this might be the only couple we ever interview on this podcast. We had assigned an NDA to go do therapy with them in Nashville, Tennessee, and it was life-changing, and we talk about that as well. We are so excited to share this conversation with you, which is ultimately about living with intention. Here it is. Guys, welcome to our podcast. As we start another episode of In Good Faith here, we have in the podcast today, probably two of the most impactful people in our personal life. As well as the two people who know us probably better than anybody.

3:57 At this point? Yes, because we therapy together, which we will get into in the conversation. Tyler, Haley, we are so grateful. Tyler and Haley Hubbard, here we are. Oh, guys. Thanks for having us. Good to see y'all's face. I know, we've missed you. We did. We've missed y'all. We miss you guys. And you might be the only couple we have on the podcast that we signed an NDA around. Because when we went to therapy, we did sign an NDA. That's amazing. Because we shared everything. Perfect. So we'll try not violate our NDA. That's our goal today. Only on this podcast, which by the way, thank you for having us. It's a huge honor that you guys would ask us to be here. And well, I think the first thing that I know, one of the things that drew us together to you as friends, and I think really that even inspired is going to therapy together is the shared experience, Judah and Tyler, that you both have of losing your dads.

4:53 and it happened in such different ways, but both had such an impact on you as men. Tyler, do you want to share how you lost your dad and what that experience was? I was in college, sophomore in college, went home for the weekend with a couple of buddies to go to a Supercross race that me and dad went to every year. And he had taken up flying helicopters, which was a cool hobby because he didn't have many. His hobby was work, you know, kind of like me a lot of times. But it was fun watching him do something he loved. And anyways, that weekend he had a helicopter crash in the backyard and we were there, which was tough, but also a blessing to be there when it happened. Just one of those freak accidents, you know, and a very unexpected. And, you know, it's sort of it kind of shaped who I was. I mean, I was 20 at the time, you know, and so it definitely shook me and it kind of shaped me to be who I am. And, you know, when I think about even the title of this podcast, In Good Faith, I'm taken back instantly to that day and that moment.

5:56 And I knew this was a big, a pivotal moment in my life. And I've heard all the stories of people going down, you know, going down different roads after, you know, tragic events in their life. And I knew, OK, you can either do this or you can do that. And I kind of made a promise to God in that moment. Look, I want to I want to lean on you. I want to trust you. I know you're in control and I have faith that as much as this is confusing and I don't understand it, like I really, I really want to do this right. And I want to, you know, go through the process and the grieving and all that. But I want to trust you and I want to, you know, I don't want to be the story. You know what I mean? At least the bad story. But you're a sophomore in college and had the wherewithal to have that thought process. Yeah. And maybe that was just God prepared me, honestly. You know, I do feel like I kind of grew up early and had a lot of spiritual maturity, if you will, at a relatively young age. And and I think that was probably that's I never thought of that.

6:57 But I guarantee that was a big a big part of why I felt equipped to just, you know, it almost went right into fight or flight or survival mode. But I knew to survive this. I had to lean on God. And I really had to not to let that be my strength and my peace and my joy. And it was a process, as we all know, but that was ultimately my foundation in getting through it. And it's been tougher at times than others, but ultimately a lot of good has come from it, you know. And looking back now, it's what, 14 years? It's amazing that from the beginning, you knew you had to grieve well and grieve right to not be the story that you said you didn't want to be. And it's funny because I don't think I knew a lot about therapy work or any of that stuff or even the terms or whatever. I mean, that wasn't something we really worked on or talked about a ton growing up.

7:51 But I did, you know, I did hear stories and I did know, like, I want to do this the right way. And then and then you kind of start to wonder. I mean, I remember when people would say, have you have you dealt with it? And I'm like, well, yeah, I mean, yeah, I guess. I mean, what what's the equation? What's the, what's, where's the book on dealing with it? You know, so there was still a lot of questions and some of that's been, been taught to me now and the work that we've done, but ultimately there is no equation and that's a personal journey. And it's something that I had to learn along the way. And, uh, but I did feel really equipped and safe and, uh, confident in my relationship with Christ and that he was in control ultimately. And I think that was just something that was ingrained in me and, and truly, I truly believe that at a young age, you know. It's so true. People are asking, have you dealt with it? Are you over it? That's the phrase.

8:42 Have you dealt with it? That's it. Have you dealt with it? Judah was golfing last week and he hasn't brought this up in a while, but it was so interesting. Judah just hit a great shot. I think he went birdie birdie, which yeah. Are you impressed with my golf terminology? That happens a lot. And bragging on your golf game. But Judah just said, man, my dad would be so impressed with how good I'm golfing right now. And it's been a while since he's made one of those comments that I could just hear from the depths of his heart. Like, oh, I wish my dad was here. And it's in those moments where you realize, no, you're still dealing with it. You're always dealing with it. Grief is a microcosm of life, though, isn't it? It's not you don't come to a conclusion as much as you come to an understanding. And I think there's no such thing as deal. Ty, let me ask you a question I've never asked you before. When do you miss him the most? Man, that's a good question. And I think it's in those moments where his big life, you know, had a baby or got married or, you know, even some of the career success, you know, along along the way or having a tour bus.

9:43 I remember thinking, man, if he could see a tour bus, like he would flip out. We used to because back in the day, we basically turned a box truck into a makeshift tour bus for about for a tree business, a crew of tree guys to go do hurricane work. And so he had this creative mind. If he could see what we were on now and things like that, just parts of our life, if he could travel and go to, just whenever it's a lot of good things, I'm just like, man, I wish he could see me now. You know, it's in those moments. It's interesting. I'd say similar for Judah, that you miss your dads more in the good moments than in the bad ones. And I probably would have, I don't know, Haley, I think I would have thought it was opposite, but. Yeah. Yeah, Haley, what do you make of all this? you know I always thought okay I've never been through a huge trauma quote trauma in my life so I haven't known how to deal with grief but like you said grief is such a funny thing we all we all deal with it all the time and so I've always thought well I don't know how to handle it or what to say to people but what I think I've really realized is all we want as humans is just to be seen and just to say like hey I'm here for you and how are you doing and just kind of like be checked in on. And, and that's what I'm learning through our kids too. It's like, just to, to listen and be there for them. Cause again, I haven't had those like huge, huge loss moments. I've dealt with grief in other ways, like, you know, grieving. I'm just learning that I'm grieving different relationships in my life that I thought were going to be different with Tyler. I think through the years I try and find ways to bring him up or, you know, okay, when's an appropriate time to bring him up? And then I realized he probably does want to talk about him, you know? And I think that might be a healthy grief thing for a lot of people.

11:33 I think you make such an incredible observation and maybe you didn't even realize you just did, but you said, you know, I don't know if I have experienced these massive moments of grief, but you just used the word different. And I love that because there's a lot of little grief that we're experiencing, particularly right now in the world, because all of our lives collectively, if we're honest right now, look so different than what we anticipated and expected. So I think, Haley, in reality, you've just uncovered grief that we are all simultaneously dealing with right now. But the thing is, we're not giving each other license or permission to grieve. Tyler's allowed to grieve a helicopter crash with his dad. I'm allowed to grieve the loss of my dad to cancer. But it's amazing how in our culture, you can't grieve the fact that your best friends aren't your best friends anymore. You're almost like, oh gosh, get over it. But I disagree. I think it's real grief, right? Yeah, it hurts. It hurts to the core.

12:34 To the core, sometimes worse than the sudden loss of a loved one in a weird sort of way. Right. Because it's unexpected and we don't have the permission for it. But I think Haley, what so inspired me by what you said was so interesting that you said you didn't feel like you were equipped to handle the grief along with your spouse because you hadn't gone through that. And I felt the exact same way. I hadn't lost anybody significant when Judah's dad passed away where we had toddlers, you know, just trying to support my husband who was suddenly not himself. So many times I just felt like I don't know what to do because I haven't gone through it. And I think as the supporting spouse, sometimes in grief, or like you mentioned, the grief that the whole world is experiencing right now, we think we aren't equipped to handle it or to walk alongside somebody who is going through grief, when actually I think we are. And I think that's a lie that we need to not let ourselves believe when we're in the season we are right now or in seasons of acute grief.

13:33 Yeah. Yes, I agree. And like we learned it on site, you know, you can't compare the traumas. We've all gone through traumas. And that's, I think, what I learned the most. Like, oh, okay, I can accept that I have gone through traumas, even though it might not be the same tragic trauma that anyone else has gone through. It's still trauma. And so you're right. We have to acknowledge that we all go through it. And it's not easy. It's funny you say that because I think of your three babies and our three babies and our babies are not as small as your babies. And I was telling a friend yesterday or two days ago, I said, I said, listen, man, I need my emotional energy right now because I have full grown up conversations with my 17 and 15 year old. And it takes a lot of bandwidth to have those conversations. And my friend said something so profound. He said, he said, he has toddlers. That's so good.

14:25 He has toddlers. He said, but you know, Judah, I don't like the practice of minimizing other people's season by maximizing yours. Like somehow, because we have teenagers and you guys have toddlers, that somehow our season is harder or our season demands more. When in reality, like I actually don't want toddlers again. The amount of energy it took to do what you guys are doing. I'm like, hold on a second. We can go on a date without a babysitter. I mean, this 17 year old is a built in babysitter. Now, he's not good at it at all. But, you know, and I think that's to your point. We just can't minimize each other's seasons and challenges and griefs. It's so true. I think it's human nature, though, for us to do that in conversation. And it's natural to say those things. But I'm learning we shouldn't do that. So you mentioned Onsite, which you guys really introduced us to it. That's right.

15:16 And it changed our lives. But Tyler, is that something you started through therapy, really, as a process of grief, along with your dad or the change of your life with the incredible success of your career or what motivated you to start going? I'd actually heard about it from a friend of mine, Thomas Rett, who you guys probably know. And we were on a vacation with him and he was telling me about him and Lauren's experience doing a couples intensive. And me and Haley already were pretty big advocates on doing self-work to some extent, but we hadn't done it nearly to this level. We'd gone to hour-long counseling sessions. Yeah, we had done premarital counseling and we kind of had that a little bit post marriage too, but it wasn't consistent. It wasn't, you know, it was just enough to stir up some emotions and then go by our way, you know, and then send us home. You know what I mean? It's like, they rip the bandaid off and then say, okay, have a good day. You're like, wait, you're not going to, you're not going to patch it up and feel, you know, I'm bleeding here. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks a lot. So anyways, so I heard about it and I was like, man, that sounds amazing. And the way TR described it to me, he's like, yeah, bro, you go out in the woods and you do all these fun activities with your wife. And then they analyze how you interact together and they, you know, you just talk about things and all this stuff. And I'm like, bro. And they kind of help you navigate life together and just preparing you for marriage and all that stuff. And I'm like, man, that sounds incredible. Like, I want to go there. And he told me, turn off your phone, you kind of get away from technology. And he didn't give me too much, but it was just enough to be like, man, I'm trying to, yeah, let me go check that place out. Like adult church camp. Yeah. Yeah. He probably said that too. He probably said, bro, it's like adult church camp. Which is either very scarring or very exciting, depending on the camp you went to as a kid.

16:53 Some people are like, I'm never going there. So yeah, ended up going. And the first time I think we went and did a couple thing. You did a men's like an artist. Oh, that's right. And then you came home and he said, I know these men better than I know you. This was after one day of therapy. And I was like, whoa, because you know, we're very, I feel like we're very vulnerable. We share everything with each other. And when he said that, I was like, well, now I kind of want to go. And so he's like, we have to go, we have to do this. And then finally we set four or five days aside and we went and we were driving out there. It's like an hour drive from Nashville. And we looked at each other and we're like, I wonder what we're going to talk about. Cause you know, at that point we were like, we didn't know what we didn't know. And we were just kind of going into it blindly. And it was, gosh, the best thing. It was life-changing, as you guys know. And I felt like I learned so much about him, but more so about myself and how to have the tools to work through things together, to work through other relationships. Now we've become very close with Miles and Vanessa, who you guys know well, and he owns Onsite. And so we're just, we really are the biggest advocates of it. We like want to go all the time now. And you guys drug us there blindly as you I don't think they dragged us there.

18:17 Not draped. Wow. Not kicking and screaming, but just very kind of, we'd had the same reference. You did like, yeah, it's like adult church camp. You have to turn your phone off and you can't even bring your own snacks. And you was like, what? No snacks? I was trying to slip in some snacks. I was hoping Miles wasn't going to see my snacks. Hey, Haley, you know I was going to bring it up. I was going to be like, Haley, tell us what Tyler told you the first time he came back. Because I will never forget what he said. I'm closer to those men than I am to you. I'm thinking. Well, it was something around those lines. It wasn't exactly that. It was something like that. It was enough to make me want to go like the next day. It was provocative. It's competitive at that point. Yeah. I'm not a competitive person, but if it comes to my relationship, yes, I will be. But learning about yourself is a crazy experience. Yeah.

19:08 I wish I would have done that when I was 20. I like how Miles calls on-site, a lot of times he calls it human school. And that's a really good way to put it, in my opinion, because there's all these phrases for what it is. And people have different impressions of what therapy is. But I just love what you just said. Learning about yourself, going to human school, it's a gift that we all kind of deserve for ourselves. It's important. I think one of the things that made the on-site experience so great for us is that it wasn't just us by ourselves. It was actually participating along with the two of you and another couple. And as you said, Tyler, walking away, realizing I know not just myself, but know these other couples so well. And I know as much as we'd love for everybody to go to onsite, it's not necessarily something that every person can do. But the sense of community that was established, the sense of, I mean, to me, a huge part of the healing wasn't just between us and the therapist.

20:04 It was with you guys being there as well. and that sense of community that can be built, that I think there's some extent that we can all contribute to some of that in our lives, even if it's not at an onsite. Totally. It's a reminder of the importance of connecting with other humans and just having community. And I feel like in our modern day and age, even from just social media and stuff, you feel like, oh, I'm so connected to everything, but you're only more disconnected from really real human connection. And I feel like when you're at a space and an environment that's curated to connect with people, you're reminded, oh, this is what that feels like. And, whoa, this is so healing and so important. And this is what I'm created for, you know. And so to your point, Chelsea, yeah, it's just to take that out into the world and have that reminder alone is so valuable. And then to know that that's somebody that's that doesn't cost money to go or time to go create.

21:01 You just really have to be intentional with that. And with not just having relationships and making sure they're meaningful and that we are knowing each other and being known. I mean, Haley, if this, you know, if this goes against our NDA that we signed with each other, but that moment where you were hitting the stick. Let's just call it the processing that. The processing stick. The processing that thing. But it just showed the fierceness that is in you. And you come in such a put-together package. But just the fierceness that I know is in you for your husband, for your family. And I can't tell you how many times I've replayed that picture in my mind. When I'm wondering, why do I feel like I need to fight for my husband or my kids right now? It's like, no, I have that fierceness in me that Haley had with that. And that's why I'm feeling this so deeply. It would meant the world to me too, Haley. because Jesus says, love your neighbor as yourself.

21:57 And I think witnessing you, not only loving Tyler, but loving everybody in the room and wanting to fight for us was like, whoa, I think that might be a little bit of what loving your neighbor looks like. And Jesus seems to promise that that's kind of one of the big ideas of existing. And I think that visual serves you and I. Oh my gosh, I'm gonna tear up right now. This is a role reversal. Chelsea cries before me. It's probably one of the most loved I've ever felt by somebody who up until that point, you and I have known each other here and there. But man, it is such a crazy feeling because I was with my friends at dinner last night and we're like, I feel like I could just go to bat for all my close people. But when it comes to myself, sometimes I forget to love myself. And I feel like that. I'm like all of my close people and people that I love and care so much about. I would fight till the end for them and for all of you guys.

22:56 But if something happened to me, sometimes I'm just like, oh, it's okay. It's fine. Until, I guess, until it gets to a point. But it's always a reminder to me to like, all right, well, I need to stick up a little bit for myself. True. And sometimes, like, true. But also, I think it was just so special, just to piggyback off of what you said, Chelsea, learning through your stories. And obviously having that close community, but we got to learn through what you guys were going through and you guys got to learn through what we were going through. And it was actually crazy how connected it was. And I just felt like I grew so much from that experience. And so kind of like you guys were saying, let's take that into the world and share things with friends and build that community and, and learn through our friends. Yeah. And be vulnerable. You guys got deep into my heart that it doesn't always necessarily happen easily.

23:52 Yeah, that's not easy for you. And man, it was, I got healing deep in my heart because I opened my heart up deep. Yeah, Chelsea's never been that vulnerable with me as she was with you guys. Can I ask you guys a question? But let me first say what I adore about the two of you. And that is, it's a very rare trait in quality. you both want to take whatever it is that you learn. First of all, you both have an insatiable appetite to grow and learn, but you want to be intentional. Your intentionality and application of what you learn is beyond commendable. Like it's compelling to Chelsea and I. It really, really is. And there's a childlikeness to both of you that's like, hey, this is what we know. We're gonna put it into practice. And I think going all the way back to losing your father so suddenly, Tyler, it's like that's you in a nutshell, though. It's like, okay, I got a moment.

24:48 I got a decision to make. This can go good. This can go bad. I'm going to go ahead and make this a good thing. And I don't know where you got that other than God. But can I ask now, let me quote Mike Tyson and then get your reaction. Ooh, a Mike Tyson quote. Yeah, here we go. Here we go. Mike Tyson. Oh, I love Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson says his most famous quote probably ever. It'll probably go down in human history. Everybody's got a plan until they get punched in the face. So the reality is on site was great. It always is, always will be. And we're going back tomorrow if we can. But all of a sudden you get home. And I loved how you said it, Haley. You said, and we all got to take it to our real life. What do you do though? Because day one of trying to take some of these principles and tools, you just get hit in the face. That's a good question. I don't know. How do you do that?

25:39 That is the question. How do you do it? I feel like leaning on God. Thank God for God this past year. I just hit people back. No, I'm just kidding. That's not the right answer. I think that's biblical. I think what got us through this year is like, I thank God for the on-site tools we learned, but leaning on God in the moments of like, could this get any worse? I haven't actually been asked that question. And now that you mention it, we have gotten punched quite a few times in the face. And it's I had one of my friends ask me, how you doing? And I kind of told him, you know, it's a heavy season, lots going on.

26:17 And and he said, well, are the kids? Is the family good? And I said, yeah, family's good. And he said, well, let the rest of it ride. And that was so like casual conversation. But it was a text and it stuck with me. I was like, man, yeah, that's kind of true. Like in the big picture, like some of these punches in the faces that we're getting that feel so intense in the moment, in the big picture, they're not as intense as they feel in the moment. And so if somehow I can just step away and say, hey, are my kids healthy? Is my marriage healthy? Are we all going to be under the same roof tonight? Then hey. And that's been something that we've leaned on because we find so much joy in being a family and growing a family and having kids. It's like, you know what, like perspective has changed and the hits don't keep you down as long or they don't sting quite as badly. But I still think there's sometimes you're just going to get hit in life and that's part of life.

27:13 And I know we all it's so cliche and I've written probably 10 songs about it the last year. But whatever don't kill you makes you tough, makes you stronger. You know what I mean? It's like there is a reason. And I do think ultimately going back to the Sunday school answer, but it's very true as well as God's in control. And if we can ultimately remember that, even when you get punched in the face, like how's that? What's he setting me up for? What's next? You know what I mean? And that's way easier said than done. And I know that. But I do find it to be true over and over again. I cannot wait to sing those songs at the top of my lungs because I am going to need to have that perspective. I'm not saying nothing. I'm just saying, Tyler sent me a song today that had me in tears. I woke up to it. I'm not saying the name. I'm not saying the lyrics. But man, that thing moved me. I needed that song this morning.

28:07 And I know it's a blessing. Everyone's listening like, well, it must be nice having a world-renowned artist send you his latest song. It is, ladies and gentlemen. It is. It's everything you think it would be. It's exactly what you need. Hey, can I just observe something that I think is so incredible? Most people, when they get hit, they want to discuss who hit them and they want to blame and shame. But you know what's amazing about you two? You don't even realize what you just did is you didn't even consider who hit you or why you got hit. Your only focus, both of you just now, you don't even realize it. That's how you live your life though. Neither one of you wanted to talk about, well, we had some really good friends hit us and then we had a buddy and he did this to us. And both of you were just like, well, it's been hard, but we got to get, you know, and I guess that's the best answer. Yeah. And I think you think it's normal.

29:00 Exactly. It is. It is not. It is not. You guys have such an incredible gift. Thanks, guys. Well, y'all do too. That'll make me emotional. I got three names I want to read to you and then I want you to respond with however you want to respond. Are you ready? Oh, can you read one at a time? I just thought of this. Okay. Yes. Oh, Lord. Oh, no. Oh, God. Okay. Well, now they know where we're going to go with it. But then I want to do the names. No, I really don't. Olivia Rose. Oh, just bright light. Just a bright light. She's a special girl. She is your oldest. She's our oldest. Second name, Luca Reed.

29:56 That's what he does. He just makes me laugh. Luca's so funny. God, he brings us so much joy. He brings us laughter. Constant laughter. He's just like a, he's this lovable, lovable little soul. Everyone's just so in love with all of them. But Luca just captures everyone's hearts, I think. He does. Sounds like our Elliot. Or our L-Dog. Honestly, he reminds me a lot of Elliot. And I obviously haven't spent a ton of time around Elliot, but he reminds me of him a lot. Just one of those warm, like Elliot just gives the best hugs. Luca's going to give the best hugs for the rest of his life. It's like, how does a toddler boy know how to just get to your heart? But our Elliot had that too when he was just a toddler. And he still has it to this day. I don't. It's a, I bet that's a gift you're going to see his whole life. That's so cool.

30:49 It's so fun. I got one more name to say, obviously. But I just want to say that the names are the best I've ever heard. Because it's also, you guys are, you know, from the South. And so the first name, middle name combo. I don't know how we missed out on that. But like, I love the full name. Haley is not from the South. She hails from Idaho. That's true. That's true. My sincere apologies. Chelsea said, let me clarify. Let me clarify on behalf of my friend who went to bat for me. Idaho.

31:18 Lastly, Atlas Roy. Just constant smiles. That kid is this twinkly-eyed, smiley thing that he also just lights up a room. He's so happy. He really is. That's the first thing I think of is just that big old smile all the time. He's either extremely happy smiling or then occasionally kind of mean mugging. But not intentionally. He's just thinking about something. But he definitely looks like he is ready to go off on somebody. He is Tyler. He's a clone of Tyler. It's actually me. Yeah. If I'm sitting there and I'm just thinking about something, I look kind of... I've seen photos of myself. I'm like, dude, you need to chill. Or somebody's like, what were you so mad about? I'm like, bro, I was not even mad at all. I know. I'm like, Tyler, why are you mad? If you're a woman, it would be a resting bee face. Exactly. Is that what you're saying? I love how you just say be arresting be why is there not that same expression for men that's what I want to know world can we solve that problem I didn't see this podcast going there but I feel you let's just fight for us girls here for a second how have you guys done such an amazing job I mean obviously we see it mostly through social media but raising your kids the love that you have for them in your heart in your eyes that just immediately comes out when Judah says those names.

32:36 What has been an obviously meaningful living? Haley has the most incredible podcast about parenting and you embody it. So I know like you're not going to be able to say everything you want to say here in this moment. But what's the key that you feel in your heart that motivates you to give so much love to your children on a daily basis? That's a good question. Even when the world punches you in the face. Yep. It's easy to take it out on your kids in your home life. That's a good question. You want to start? Well, I will start. And not to put pressure on parents or ourselves, and let's just preface this by saying we all know that we all mess up. And so I always say, Tyler, you're going to mess up. So this isn't from a guilt place, but also going and learning more about ourselves. And the more we learn about ourselves, we learn the importance of our childhood years. And that's really what developed us into who we are today was really the early years and our parents and how they interacted with us and how they showed us and what they taught us and how to show up in the world at a young age, like our kids' age, all the way up to probably, you know, maybe 18 if you're lucky, but probably like 12.

33:45 And then it's like, all right, good luck. Here we go. And so not that, again, that sounds like we're putting tons of pressure, but at the same time, just being really present during those years, trying to be present, trying to remember, let me lead by example and let me take all the little things I've learned and try to just, and even to me and for us, I think in our relationship, but also in our family, it's really big. It's really important to communicate. So even if I'm having a hard day, my dad would never say, hey, Tyler, I'm having a hard day. But helping my daughter understand, hey, this is how daddy feels. And this is how mommy's feeling. And this is how we feel when you say that. How do you feel or how did that make you feel? And just starting to try to raise awareness around the emotions and communication and just trust instead of, I mean, our parents did a great job in a lot of ways. and we've gotten to take those those ways and run with them and be able to use with our kids, which is huge. But also we've been able to look back and say, but I wish they would have done things a little differently here, maybe talked about things here a little more, this and that, or not made certain things so taboo or so wrong or, you know, and you learn as you as you grow.

34:59 And it's been it's just been fun to take that and to implement it into our house and just just try to be real and try to be respectful to our kids and demand respect back and try to be a loving family and ultimately just show love and be present. I don't think there's a right way to do it. I wish there was. I wish there was like a handbook. But I love what you just said. Yeah, you said be present and for your toddler, for your kid's toddler years. Because I know I had more of a mindset of, okay, well, these kids' toddler years, they're not going to remember. and so as long as they're fed and safe and alive you know i think we can get away with things and what we've learned myself that about four or five days a week so it's only applies to the weekend it's a great time for the weekend it's gotta work gotta get that there's a reason i was a working mom but it's actually the opposite and science has proven that those toddler years those early years, those years of brain and emotional development are so important. And those actually aren't the years to cheat as parents. We'll have, we have time to cheat. We'll have, June and I are getting close to it. We'll have all the time we want by ourselves.

36:08 It's getting closer than we know it. I looked at our calendar and they have four things this week and on evenings. I was so sad. I'm like, wait, but what about family dinners? You know? And so it happens faster than you know, but Tyler realizing the value that you just talked about of those toddler years and being present when it's just work without a lot of reward, except for the laughter and the hugs and kisses is so meaningful. And I think it's important as parents to give ourselves grace too, because it's ironic that in the toddler years, which is when our kids need us the most typically is when we're building, when we're still in the building phase, we're still in the development phase of our careers and what's going on. And so it's a tough balance, you know, and I think kids, kids are also understanding and then, and they can understand, but I think y'all said it on the podcast, which this is on the other end of the spectrum. There's a difference in being present and really being there. And I think Haley said at one point or some, uh, some highly trained professional actually said your kids literally only need 20 minutes of undivided attention because I may be present or be home, but I may only be really present for, you know, six minutes out of 20 minutes, you know, but if they said, if you, they don't need half a day or all day, you can still do a lot of things and be a great present parent. But if you can give your kids 20 minutes of undivided attention for their development, I don't know exactly what the end of the phrase was, but that's a good, you're doing good. I've never felt so encouraged. I can tell you that right now. I went to dinner last night with those kids and I didn't even bring my phone girl. You didn't. You did so good.

37:51 Right. I feel like I'm crushing it now. That's the most encouraging thing, Tyler. I have heard that. Ladies and gentlemen, you can get more of that information on Meaningful Living with Haley Hubbard, ladies and gentlemen. Golly, that is one of the most encouraging things I've heard a highly trained professional ever say. I know. Jess, who does the podcast and has the brand with me, says actually 10 minutes. If we do 10 minutes a day of like really intentional time with our kids. Can we get it down to five? Can we get it down to five? Like that's the game? How little time but focus time can I give? Like think about it. When you're with your kids, you're like cooking, you're doing a lot of stuff, but then like having that super present time of like 10 minutes. I mean, it sounds like nothing, but even when you're running around with toddlers, Like it's kind of, it's all you can do some days. Yeah.

38:45 One other thing that popped into my mind is one of y'all asked or something, but I've seen it firsthand. And I think it's really, if I'm being a real conscious parent, any opportunity that I have to mess up or that I may have messed up or wish I could have done something differently, we call it the repair. You know, as opposed to the, to me, there's a lot of power in the repair as, and instead of the. And so a lot of times if I hurt Liv's feelings or if I do something that I could have done better, I'll just say, you know, it's my opportunity to show her, hey, this is how we say we're sorry. This is how we admit that we were wrong and ask for forgiveness, you know. And so doing that as a parent, as opposed to the opposite, which is my natural instinct, which is daddy's always right. That's what it is because I'm your dad, you know. is also really rough with, you know, I think a lot of our parents' generation was just like, you just don't talk about it. Like, oh, they might've messed up, but let's just not talk about it. And, and everything got swept under the rug for, for a lot of us. And so I think that's why we want to do it differently. I think that's why a lot of parents nowadays are like, okay, we want to do this differently because we realize the value of emotional health and intelligence and, and kids feeling safe and loved and, and it goes, it's also with, with grownup relationships too.

40:07 It's very simultaneously. It's very the same. It's very, you know, symmetrical in a way where if someone does me wrong or I feel like I've been done wrong or I've done something, there's so much power in saying, Hey, I'm so sorry. I, I messed up and I just want to ask you. I, I know I must've hurt you. And for me, I can literally turn a switch in like one minute and be like, Oh, yeah all's good heck yeah let's go you ready to go like i can move on and and there's so much power in that as opposed to letting the ego which i've also done let the ego just say no i've been done wrong i'm not apologizing or i'm not you know and so to try to teach our kids that at an early age through little examples at the house to me just is a uh it's setting them up to hopefully avoid a lot of stuff. And that forgiveness that your kids- As much therapy as we needed.

41:00 You know, maybe we should have minimized their therapy. We told our kids we'll pay their therapy bill. We did, actually. That's our parenting banding. But to see that forgiveness that your babies will offer you when you know you did something wrong and you say, hey, I'm sorry, I messed up. And how quickly those babies say, okay. And spring right back to life and love and trust and how quick that repair happens in children is just one of the most beautiful things to see. I'll never forget telling L-Dog, our now 14-year-old who's six foot three and 200 pounds, but he was a lot smaller back then. And I said to him, I said, I said, L-Dog, buddy, daddy was wrong. Will you forgive me? And this was his answer. Yep. Yep. And I was like, if that isn't a picture of life, You know, it's just, we just need one person just to say, hey, I'm an idiot.

41:58 That was dumb. And I think there's something in all of us that's like that little L dog that goes, yep. Yep. And we move on. And I honestly, when I think of Tyler and Haley, I think of the willingness just to be the first in the party to go, hey, hey, hey, hold on a second. That was stupid. We're wrong. And I think you model that both in a very real way. You really do. And you're not, I'm not saying you're wrong all the time. But. More often than not, though. Like, that's what I end up saying, you know, but more often than not. No, I'm kidding. No, but you guys, you live such a beautiful life. And it's not just because of your platform, how you have stewarded your platform is beautiful. But the way you treat each other, the way you love your children, the relationship you have with God is just always been so beautiful for Jude and I to see and watch. And we're so honored to be able to get a front row seat watching you. Live your life.

42:55 One of the things that we like to do on In Good Faith, we do love to pray for people at the end and just give a prayer. And I don't know what you're feeling, but I'm feeling like people who feel like they're getting punched right now and feel like that punch is kind of defining life instead of what should be important. And I would love to shout out a prayer for that group of people. Anybody want to volunteer? Tyler or Haley? I'll totally pray. Unless you want to pray. Nope, you're way better at it. Thank you. You're way better at it. It's better. You're better at praying. I do like internal praying. You can do the external. Yeah, okay. Okay, thanks. Well, before we do that, we just want to echo. We feel the same way about you guys.

43:47 Y'all, you feed into our lives so much, more than you even know. I mean, you feed into our life on a weekly basis. And sometimes a daily basis with the guided prayers, even where I like get done. I'm just like, I love Chelsea and Judah. And then we look and then we have such a fun friendship that we just value so much and how y'all parent, how you show up in the world and y'all's walk with Christ. And just I could go on and on, but we love you guys so, so much. And yeah, we get to learn from you guys and just walk alongside you guys in life, because seriously, we look up to you guys a ton. Totally. Thank you. Well, that goes both ways. Let's do more therapy together, too. Let's go. This podcast is pretty therapeutic, if you ask me. Okay, good. That's the goal. We'll just do FaceTime once a week and talk about life. Just do the podcast. Well, cool. Yeah, I'll pray for us.

44:39 And yeah, keeping the faith while I'm getting punched in the face. Is that the... There you go. There you go. Lord, thank you for this time. Thank you for community. Thank you for Chelsea and Judah and our time together with them. Thank you for letting us get to relive some of our moments where you were so present and so strong and so healing and so powerful, which we know you are all the time. So thank you for that. We just want to pray specifically for all the people in the world right now who are probably feeling like they're taking a punch in the face. to different extremes and in different scenarios and in different levels. But just heal, Lord. Just protect and heal and just cover our country and our world and our communities with peace and the strength that only you have, Lord. Remind us daily that we are in your hand and your control.

45:38 And when life gets hard, help us lean on you. Help us keep the faith. Help us remember that we're your children and we can trust you. And thank you for friends like Chelsea and Judah who can be in our life, remind us of what your word speaks and your heart, Lord. Thank you for this time again together and please heal the world. And also just a quick prayer for all the people that are the doctors, the nurses, everyone, literally who are on the front lines right now in this pandemic, Lord. And they're continuing the fight. And I know they're tired. I know they're exhausted. Give them strength, please, Lord. And all the people who are hurting and all the families. We love you. We thank you again for this day and this time. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen.

46:29 Amen. Thank you. Thank you for that prayer. Oh, yeah. That was powerful. this whole podcast like I've missed you guys honestly your time is so valuable and it means the world so thank you for making it so freaking special and alright love you guys tell the babies we love them please see ya okay talk soon love you This has been a presentation of OBB Sound, SB Projects, and Cadence 13. Executive produced by Chelsea Smith, Judah Smith, Michael D. Ratner, Scott Ratner, Elias Tanner, Scooter Braun, Scott Manson, James Shin, and Chris Corcoran. Produced by Grace Delia. Co-produced by Kyle Vanuja of SB Projects. Produced by Lauren LaGrasso and Serena Reagan of Cadence 13.

47:23 Edited, mixed, and mastered by Adam Macias. Original composition by Colin Gileard. Production support from Rachel Cruz. OBB Sound is an OBB Media Company. Cadence 13 is an Odyssey Company.