Handling Regret: How do we handle regret so it doesn't control our lives?

0:03 It's one of the worst feelings in the world. It's an emotion that makes us feel totally helpless. And sometimes it directly correlates to our self-esteem and our overall health. Regret. If you're human, you have felt it. And even though all of us absolutely hate to dwell in regret, we're going to be sitting with it today just for you. I'm Judah Smith. And I'm Chelsea Smith. And we are married. We lead a church together called Church Home. we have three kids together. Basically, the two of us spend way too much time in life together, but we still like each other. So welcome to our podcast today's show. We are responding to a simple question. Okay, it's not that simple. It's loaded. How do I handle regret? Okay, so when we say regret, what is your biggest regret in life? And I'm so curious if I can guess yours or not. I'm not marrying you sooner. It's like, Judah, relax. We got married at 20, if we're going to say, oh, my biggest regret in life. Yeah. Do you want to share it with everybody or is it too personal? Oh man. My biggest regret in life. Gosh, is it fair to say like I have a lot, which one's top, which one's number one? Can you predict my biggest regret?

1:25 How funny is it? I'm looking at you in the eyes right now. Ladies and gentlemen, if you could see my wife's eyes. She's looking at me like, I can guarantee what your biggest regret is. And I'm like, wait, you know it? I don't know it. I actually can't totally guess it. Wow. I'll tell you mine since you asked, you know, wait a second. Snapshot of our marriage. Chelsea asked all the questions and I just ponder them. And then she's like, do you want to ask them back? What brings up the biggest emotion of regret for me is actually looking at pictures of our babies. Like when they were, our kids are now 17, 15 and 12. So they're big. Our boys are taller than me. And they were these- A 14 year old, 6'3", 200 pounds. I know, he's so sweet and lovable. He is. That was the season for us in life, especially the year our baby girl was born. We had three kids. Life was just really full.

2:17 Your dad was fighting cancer and ended up passing away. And we were working, we just took over the church. And I feel like I didn't spend enough time with the kids at those ages. and just looking at those pictures. I actually don't do it very often because it brings up so much emotion. Yeah, and I think you and I find ourselves at 42 together looking at people's kids, at their babies, our friends, and we're like, we could hold them. We could take care of them. We could watch them. And they're like, are you guys okay? And does every parent feel like that? I don't know. But yeah, you look at your babies now who aren't babies. And I was on an airplane yesterday with you and I'm looking at old photos. Like we're doing that now, aren't we? And we're telling young couples with children, we're like, spend time with them, soak it in, kiss them, hug them, like enjoy the chubby, enjoy the diapers, it goes fast. And I'm like, I have become my father.

3:12 But yeah, with our kids, with you, with my father who's been gone for 12 years, like man, life is a vapor. It's very fragile, no matter how secure we feel it is. And I wish I just would have sunk in to the minutes and moments of today. Because today is really all that we have. Now we're getting incredibly existential. Yeah. How much do you think your phone has had to do with you not being president? All right. That is not the focus of the podcast. Thank you very much, young lady. The focus of our podcast is regret. Did you just call me young lady?

3:46 You're in big trouble, mister. I just called you mister to make up for the young lady. But no, my phone comes with a lot of regret as well. But the reason we're telling our stories of regret is to normalize that as a human emotion, that no person who has ever walked this planet, well, in our belief except for Jesus, has ever lived a perfect life. We all make mistakes. We all do things that we wish we would have done differently or things that we didn't do that we wish we would have done, chances and risks that we would have taken. And so that really leads us into the conversation of this podcast is, okay, If regret is something that every human feels, how do we handle it? Because we don't want to live a life walking around with the weight of regret. Well, and hey, before we go any further, let's not be people who regret that we regret. You know what I mean? Like there's an inevitability here to this emotion that affects us all. And I think as we get going into this important question, how do I handle regret?

4:46 um let's uh let's let's let's peel back some of the connotations that just immediately tell us we're bad this is you know you you should regret this it's like listen we're all gonna have regrets but i think what our what our goal and what we really want to accomplish in this conversation is to answer the question how do i handle regret so that it doesn't control our lives we want to live lives that are free, that are happy, that are fun and fulfilling. And regret is such a deep emotion that can really, truly rob us of that freedom. Yeah. And I think probably backing up just a bit for a second and let's talk about why the emotion is so critical to dissect. Why is it important to consider and kind of wade into this uncomfortable topic of regret? Why is it so common? Why is it so painful?

5:42 Does it affect my mental well-being? How has the dynamic of regret affected my closest friends, family, and relationships? So please answer all those questions. Yeah, I was just going to say, you just threw three questions. No, those are for you. You're supposed to answer them all. Okay, I got it, guys. Don't worry about it. Why is it such a common emotion? Can we start with that one and just take them one at a time? I think it's common because we all know that we've made mistakes. To err is human, as they say. As they say. As they say. And we all kind of go on seasons where we look back and we think, if I would have known then what I know now, I would have done this differently or that differently. Because we grow in wisdom and knowledge. And what's the expression? Hindsight is 20-20. And so it's so easy to look back and think, why didn't I go out on that date? Or why didn't I buy that lottery ticket or make that bet? Yeah, I mean, I'm a little concerned that your first example was why didn't I go on that date?

6:39 And it seems as if you're not inferring to me. Are you just wishing you would have dated more men before me? Is that kind of the point there? Or is that, you know? No, we've just been talking a lot about our kids and our family. I was trying to relate it to single people. There's a couple of their dates you wish you would have went on. Oh, maybe a few. Okay, I tell you what, this podcast is turning into marriage counseling. As it will every time. As it will every time. But you know, they say hindsight is 20-20. And so I think it's so easy to look back. Yeah. And don't you think the reason it's a painful emotion is when you look back, you feel a little bit helpless because you can't change it. And what's done is done. And you want to blame people, blame yourself. And the goal here is we answer this important question, how do I handle regret, is actually not getting caught in that web, getting caught in that sticky, sticky web of going down that dark rabbit hole, if you will, of I wish I would have, and I could have and I should have.

7:37 And boy, that's not going to be very productive for any of us. Do you wonder if regret is such a deep, common emotion that we all carry, that sometimes we don't even realize that we're carrying it? Sometimes we don't even realize that we are, quote unquote, living with regret because it has been so common? Yeah, I think we've turned it into words like sad, blue, bummed. Depressed. depressed discouraged distraught anxious anxious i'm hitting on like the the key mental health trigger words i and i think that have definitely have chemical issues and so we don't want to blame all of those on regret but could it be yeah that this emotion this feeling that we're carrying of regret is weighing on us to the extent where it is affecting our mental health And are we reminded oftentimes in the technological age of the dumb decisions we've made that seem to live forever on the Internet?

8:50 You know, is that compounding the sadness, the deep, deep remorse and regret over things we posted or things we said? And that's a reality of 2021. I was going to say our guys we dated, but you were going to make fun of me again. But really, if you had a deep relationship. How many guys did you date? You know, like we started getting into it. But if you had a significant relationship over years and then posted these beautiful pictures and trips that you took over a relationship that then ended up ending, how does that feel when you go back in your feed and you look at that and that's something that you and I. Well, and the public nature of like past relationships, for instance, was kind of a unique celebrity pain because there was photos of celebrities in their old crushers or old relationships. But now we're kind of all experiencing that because public facing, we now all are posting photos that are recording our trajectory of life. And so we're all suffering a little bit from like, whoa, out in public is old photos that bring me pain and remind me of regret.

9:54 So we're in a very unique time in human history where I agree, I think regret is riddling so many of us. And maybe we don't even use the R word. We use sad, discouraged, blue. I feel like it's just kind of cloudy in my mind and heart today. And maybe we need to put the word regret to it. And of course, this segment, this podcast today is committed to, man, how do I not grow past? Because regret is sometimes like air and oxygen. It's kind of all around us. But how do we keep moving? And how do we keep going forward in life? Yeah. And we have to go forward. But sometimes I think to go forward, we have to, in a sense, look back and actually acknowledge what are those regrets that we are carrying. And I think that's a natural thing for people in their latter years of life, in their empty nest syndrome, in their 80s, on their deathbed, whatever that latter season of life is, to look back and maybe just be honest with themselves about their lives. And I've seen my parents do it.

11:00 Your dad, as he was passing away, definitely had those conversations with you like, son, I wish I would have done this differently or that differently. No question. But I don't think we need to wait until we're in that season of life to actually be honest, to look back and regret. Because I genuinely think that one of the reasons that we can let go of regret and move forward is to be honest about the things that we regret. Yeah, I love what you just said because we're such funny creatures. We have these very distinct seasons of life and we're all kind of bought in whether we like it or not. Like retirees are supposed to look back and assess the trajectory of life and what they've done and didn't do and should have done and could have done and would have done. But we were just talking with a friend before recording this podcast, and she was sharing her parents are in their 60s, and they're kind of in that reflective season, and they're sharing things that they regret. And I think she's, you know, in her 30s, and it's like, well, wait, why do we have to wait till our 60s to be reflective?

11:59 Why don't we start being reflective in any season of life? We just attended my niece's high school graduation. And can you imagine how powerful it would be if a recent high school graduate just actually stopped and take the time to reflect, to say, what do I regret about my high school years? What do I wish I would have done differently? Do I wish I would have taken that class? Do I wish I would have played this sport? I wish I played volleyball when I was in high school and not basketball because it's such a lifelong sport. But the power of if my niece who just graduated high school took time to actually inventory and catalog her regrets, that would give her the power to then actually deal with them and move forward and not keep carrying them. And what if we did that after college graduation? And what if we did that when we ended a job? What if we did that when we ended a relationship? and we actually took moments and markers at critical seasons of our lives to be honest with ourselves and maybe with the close key people in our lives to be honest about what we actually regret. And to respond to that, I would say, I think the reason when we start experiencing regret and all of its implications and couple emotions that come along with it is we don't want to reflect. But I guess what we're saying right now is if you're going to handle regret, there's got to be some reflection. There's got to be some reflecting. And I think it's painful before it's healing. And I think maybe that's why even this segment, people will see, you know, the word regret and go, what other topic do they cover? What about vacations and margin and rest and pools and sunshine and, you know, good drinks? You know, like, let's do that segment. But in In reality, if we are able to kind of address what we regret through the process of reflection, I think there can be incredible progress and healing as we move forward.

13:54 And it's never too late and it's never too early to practice reflection, embracing what you regret and asking friends, loved ones, and even God for help going forward. And it makes me think of the words of Jesus. One of a very famous quote that I think a lot of people don't know that this was Jesus who said it, but because there's so much truth in it, that Jesus said, you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. And I think it's so often for us to want the freedom without actually going back and going to the truth and not for anybody else's sake, but for our own sake, being honest with ourselves, being honest with our decisions, our mistakes, our life, and having that moment of truth that we can acknowledge so that we can get to that place of freedom from regret. Because that's our goal, right? That's our goal. we've spent time acknowledging feelings of regret and bringing them up and i think that leads to the next natural question of okay once we do with them once we're honest with ourselves and saying here are the regrets that i have had in the last season of my life or for my entire life What do we do with them once we have brought them up, brought them to the surface and acknowledge them?

15:18 Man, is that an important question. I think, you know, the ancient scriptures have guided so much of our interactions and so much of our lifestyle. And, you know, much has been made of the Holy Bible, as it's called in our culture. and a lot of really erroneous conclusions have been made and a lot of hurtful things have been done. But nonetheless, we believe that the Holy Scriptures are divine in nature and can really guide us. And the Bible speaks about hurting each other. And when you hurt each other, that you go to each other and you admit you're wrong and you ask your forgiveness. And as silly as this sounds, I'll tell you a story. I was a youth pastor.

16:11 We were married at this point. I think I was 24, 25. And I was talking to God, not because I'm spiritual, but because I'm desperate. I'm just like having a moment with God somewhere in my car, probably, and driving. And all of a sudden, a memory came back to me of something that I did that broke the trust of my father when I was 16. And I violated the standards that he held in his home. and as weird as this sounds to our listeners um this is i think um something that brought me great healing i asked my dad who at the time was the pastor of the community we now lead and i said you know as the youth pastor dad can i can i come see you today and of course he's like of course son come see me so my heart started pounding because i knew what i was supposed to do somehow i just knew you know we say god spoke to me i didn't hear an audible voice or anything but i got the sense, the sensation that I was to go to my dad and tell him I was wrong and ask for his forgiveness for violating his trust. At 16, nine years later as a married man, I felt to do that.

17:16 And my dad and I had a connection that day that I clearly don't forget, that I remember vividly saying, Dad, I was wrong. I kept this from you. I was secretive. And I did this. And I violated your home. Why do you think it didn't come up until nine years later? You know, that's a great question. And I think, I don't know, and I'm not sure I totally care, except that what I knew is I couldn't get hung up there. Why didn't I do it at 16, 17? I don't know, but I know at 25, it came to me. And the way we relate to God and work with God and walk with God on a daily basis, I feel like that's a dynamic we live with. It's like, hey, at any moment, God captured my attention with a thought out of nowhere. And that story came to me. And I hadn't thought about it in, well, probably nine years. And so I just knew. And the connection point I had with my father that day, the story actually goes, he shared some regrets he had.

18:20 and it's funny because I'm actually remembering it right now in real time. Some of the things he said to me that was healing as his son to hear him, because it was kind of like, dad, I'm going to share with you my regret. And then it just opened up and my dad was such a good man, but he was like, you know what? You've put this on the table. Let me put a couple of things. Because as a son, you would probably viewed your dad as this. Your dad was such a good dad and such a good man. And so you probably viewed him as so perfect. And the healing that came as a result of you asking him forgiveness and being willing and open with your own regrets to him. But the power of that story is what I was so in agreement with. He was a power of forgiveness with regrets, actually opening up ourselves to either ask a person whom we know that we have hurt to say these words that are so powerful.

19:16 I wronged you. Will you forgive me? Or even if we just realized we wronged ourselves to have a conversation with ourselves. And if you believe in God, to include God in that conversation to say, I wronged myself. I hurt myself. Can I forgive myself? And then if you have a person of faith to be like, hey God, I'm sorry, I'm your daughter. I'm sure it hurt you when I hurt myself. Will you forgive me too? But just embracing a lifestyle of forgiveness towards others and towards ourselves. And I agree. I agree. I was going to say, babe, my love, but maybe that's too sappy for the podcast, but it's true, babe. I think forgiveness is the great antidote of regret. And I think what we celebrate is we believe the creator of the universe, as reflected through the person of Jesus, demonstrates ultimate forgiveness for all of humanity. and to know that I am forgiven by God.

20:12 Yeah. Frees me up to reflect on my regrets. Know that I am loved, accepted, and forgiven by the one who made me so that I can freely, the Bible says, freely you have received, now freely give. And it's a beautiful healing thing to freely forgive yourself and freely forgive others. We went whitewater rafting the other day, which sounds very exotic. It was more terrifying. I love it. I interrupted the guide, the whitewater raft guide, because I felt like she was publicly shaming someone. Our daughter. Yes. Which I love that you stood up for her. And I defended it. I was like, excuse me. You know, and she was, those guides did not like me. I thought they were going to push me out of the boat in the middle of the raft. Nobody in that group liked you. No one liked me, which is weird because I feel like I'm likable. But I just couldn't stand for someone publicly shaming my daughter. But wouldn't you know it? After that whitewater rafting trip for two and a half hours, I felt that sense again.

21:08 I need to go ask that river guy to forgive me because I disrespected her. Did you actually say, will you forgive me? What did you say to her? I didn't know if that would be too heavy and kind of like overwhelm her because we didn't really know each other. So I rehearsed it multiple times in the raft, by the way, on the trip. And I finally got my chance right before we took off. And I said, hey, the fact that I interrupted you in front of everyone was disrespectful and unnecessary. I'm really sorry and she looked at me I'll never forget she's like oh wow thank you for saying that okay yeah thank you you know and I was hoping she would say sorry for you know shaming your daughter what she did to my daughter but no I'm kidding I'm kidding that's not the goal right that's not gonna help her great she like pointed out the fact that our daughter had a chose a broken life jacket yeah yeah it was brutal but the power that that moment was that you're actually not carrying that regret with you Like, do you wish you could go back and not do that?

22:08 Yeah. For two and a half hours on the raft, I was like, why did I do that? Why did I do that? That was so dumb. That was so dumb. And it kind of beat myself up, to be honest. But then going and having that conversation with her, it freed it. Done. The power of forgiveness. It actually turns into a win in my mind and heart now because I felt like I was honest. I was an authentic human being who willingly admitted his brokenness and weakness. It was kind of, I reacted to her. Let's be honest. Let's call it what it is. Yeah. But I think that is the second thing that we need to not live a life of regret. First is forgiveness. But I really think second is we need to have a conviction, which you and I have as people of faith and trusting in God, that there is a verse in the Bible that says all things work together for good. And so we can take those mistakes. We can take those regrets. We can take those things that we wish we would have done differently and say, hey, God, I was stupid.

23:00 I messed up. But you know what? I really believe that you're going to bring something good out of this mistake that I made, bring something good out of this opportunity that I missed. Yeah. And I think reflection on regrets can provide an opportunity of healing and growth. And I think all of us, to your point, babe, all of us, when we reflect and we see things we regret, we immediately read red or see negativity. But actually, what if we shifted our perspective and thought this is an opportunity for growth and healing? And I'll admit walking towards that river guide while she's wondering, what is this guy gonna say now to me? I had a moment with God, like, this is so embarrassing. I hate this. I'm 42. Why am I saying sorry? Am I really that sorry? Was I totally wrong? You know, all those emotions.

23:52 You're like trying to justify not how to do it. Completely. But that would have kept me from doing something that actually brought personal growth and a sense of closure. And I think we can all take those little, little steps. And, you know, there are big, big things we regret. You're like, I can't call that person or that person's gone. That person's passed on from this life. You and I believe in the practice of prayer. And prayer sometimes is like we see these sophisticated sentences that these super, uber, duper spiritual people say. But prayer can also just be like saying out loud, hey, James, maybe there's a James in your life that you wronged, even though you can't talk to James anymore because James is gone. Will you forgive me? That was wrong. I was wrong. That can be healing too in a form of a prayer. Yep. And that gives to such a good point that it's actually never too late. It's never too late in our lifetime to go back on a regret, reflect over it, ask for forgiveness of yourself or others, and then believe that even from this point on, there's something in that that is going to work out for your good, for your growth, for your health, for your well-being. It is never too late to go through that practice.

25:07 Never, never, never too late. If you are listening, if you can hear this podcast right now, it is not too late. If you hear nothing else today, hear that. It is never too late when reflecting on regret to take a moment to express and receive forgiveness.

25:28 I want to ask you a question, babe, that I think is worth considering for a few moments. You know, when we start talking about regret, my brain goes to, well, if you just kind of say yes to everything, then you won't regret anything. Now, I have my own feelings about that statement, but I don't want to project them on you. You probably know them after 21 years of marriage. But what would you say to like the yes monster that wants to come to visit your home when it's like, oh, you have regret? Like I put a voice to the yes monster, you know, and here comes the yes monster and he's like knocking on your door and he's like, all you got to do is say yes to everything and you won't regret anything.

26:25 What do you say to the yes monster? I'm so glad you brought that up. And actually, yeah, that would be definitely more your personality just to compensate that way. Extreme. But when I'm honest with myself, I know the reason I have regret when I look at our kids' baby pictures and when I look at them in that season, it is because I said yes to too many things. We said yes to youth services, baby showers, wedding showers, weddings. And here we were saying- It was seven days a week there for a while. Yeah, it was seven days a week. And we said yes to so much that I actually missed out on the most important thing, which is those babies who were growing up faster than I realized at the time. And I think the response to that is we have to prioritize. We can't out of fear. I think we say yes to so many things out of fear. Fear of missing out, fear of regret, fear of not being enough, fear of not doing enough with our lives.

27:25 Terrible motivator. It is a terrible motivator. And instead of what am I afraid of, to say, what do I have faith for? What do I believe for, for this season in my life? And I think we do that by prioritizing. If I would have gone back on that season and realized, no, my absolute priority right now isn't my job, as much as I love my job? Isn't my friendships as valuable as those friendships were? It was these babies that I realized are going to be here today and gone tomorrow. And prioritize to make sure no and set some boundaries to say, you know what? Tuesday nights are going to be my nights to be at home with the kids. I'm going to make sure I put them to bed five nights a week or whatever it was. And that is a form of saying yes, but it's me choosing what I'm saying yes to. It's not just saying yes to the demands of other people. and it's based off of faith, not fear. What do you think of that?

28:19 Yeah, I think that's great. I really do. So let me ask a little bit more specific. So how much do I use my yes and how much do I use my no? I think your no is even a yes. Because when you're saying no to that baby shower, I don't know why I came up with baby shower. I know, like you're scarred by baby shower invites. That was a season of life. Like when you have babies, all your friends are having babies and you go to so many baby showers. But actually saying no to that baby shower isn't saying no to a baby shower. It's saying yes to an afternoon with my kids. Or it's saying yes to, I really need to relax and refresh and recharge my body. And so I think it's choosing your yes. Because everything in life is a yes and everything in life is a no. But it's choosing what you're going to say yes to.

29:13 So if I, you know, let's talk personalities for a moment. I would suffer from saying yes to an afternoon with my kids. So I say no to, let's just call it the event. and then I hear from three or four of my closest friends how astronomically exhilarating the event was and you missed it and it was the best and it was incredible and here's all these photos and we wish you would have been there and you said you were gonna be there and you weren't there and suddenly I feel doom and gloom over the fact that I chose to spend three hours with my kids as opposed to go to the event. Does that mean that I made the wrong choice? Well, I think first of all, you shouldn't have said that you were going to be at the event and then not show up at the event. Okay, I got too specific. I'm sorry. I was too honest. That definitely causes regret. All right. I did that last week. Everyone relax. You're not being a person of your word. Wow, thank you for that. I regret that. It's okay. Just realize it.

30:09 That's right. Go through the practices. We can do it. I forgive myself. Don't you think that's always going to happen in life? That something from a distance is going to seem more fun. but I don't want to get caught up by living life in the moment of just because this feels better in the moment. We also do need to take some time to think about what are the long-term consequences, what's going to be most important next week, a month from now, a year from now, instead of that moment that, yeah, it could have been fun. But let's be honest, everybody makes it look a lot more fun than it actually was. How many events have we been to where we're like, oh, okay, are we ready to get out of here? And we slip out early. And then the pictures afterwards just make it look like it was epic. But you answered, that's what I was shooting for. I had an agenda, I must admit, because I think it's in those moments what I have learned along with you. We've been doing this for two decades together, is I stop the practice I've been using and I look into the future and I ask myself the long-term long game question. What will matter the most long-term? Did I play my priorities right? It was an average afternoon with my kids. Let's call it what it is. An average afternoon with my kids. It's never spectacular, right? And by the way, the quantity, quality thing about parenting, it's called both.

31:33 And quantity results in quality, and then quality goes away, and it's just quantity. And the point is you invest, you invest, you invest, you invest, and you don't know exactly when there will be a return for your children or a return even in your own soul. But long-term, here's what we know. When you put the children put in your care by the creator of the universe, you put them as a priority, even above events with your dearest friends. Generally speaking, of course, the long-term practice and exercise remind you of that. Like, no, long-term, my kids will know we spent time together. We were there. And you know what? That bridal shower, that baby shower, there'll be more. And I will ensure that my friends know that I love them. Now, I know that's not foolproof. And I know that that is subject to challenges and difficulties, but that is what I've been doing.

32:33 I don't know if that's right. I'm looking at you like, is that, do you do that? Well, no, and of course we're using this analogy for my regret, which is my kids and for our life. But you can use- My stomach is growling, by the way. Oh, so is mine. Yeah, I know. I saw you holding your stomach and I'm like, no, I think that's my stomach. I know, ready for lunch. I forgot to eat this morning. But this exercise can be practiced whatever your priority is in life. Are you prioritizing your job? Do you need to prioritize friendships? What are you going to get the best long-term gain out of? And so what do you need to say yes to and say no? Because every yes comes with a no, and every no comes with a yes. That's powerful. And I'll never forget what an old preacher told me. He said, as I turned 40, he's like, you're entering into the season of life where your no will be far more valuable than your yes. And I don't know if that's just true when you're 40. I think that might be true when you're 14 or 84. the willingness to say no. I love how you said that. But when you're saying no, it's actually because you're saying yes to what you believe long-term is more valuable and more important. And keeping that in mind will absolutely frame us and set us free from regret.

33:46 And by the way, if you've said yes to a bunch of stuff and you regret doing all the things that you did. What an opportunity to learn. And it's never too late to start. Today's a good day to start using your no and not always answer the door when it comes to the yes monster. We're going to take you through a practice. I'm going to lead you through a practice. Then Jude is going to lead you through a prayer because we don't want you to live in regret. We don't want anybody to live in regret. And we want this podcast to be an opportunity for you to be free of regret. And We want to give you something really practical that we can do and walk away with. You know, our breath is very powerful. Every time we breathe in, we take something in. And every time we breathe out, we let go of something. So I'm going to teach you a practice right now that anytime you feel regret, you can breathe out and breathe in.

34:39 And as you breathe out, you're going to breathe out forgiveness. I am forgiven. I forgive myself. Forgiveness is gone. Mistakes are going to be made. And then when you breathe in, you're going to breathe in the belief that this is going to work for good. So right now, wherever you are, let's just practice that together. Breathe in. it's going to work for good breathe out forgiveness i forgive myself and others let's do it one more time breathe in this is going to work for good and breathe out i forgive myself and others so good inhale exhale before i pray and we close this particular podcast both chelsea and i want to remind you that you are loved and you are seen and you are heard and your value is well it's eternal you are absolutely invaluable to this world and to God. And there is no regret too big, too little, or too late that you can't experience health and forgiveness. If you can and you're in a place where it allows, I'm going to ask you to close your eyes. And I want to pray this prayer specifically over you. God, we acknowledge your activity. We acknowledge your involvement in this moment, in this podcast. You know every listener by name. You know the days that they have lived every day of their life,

36:47 and you love them. God, we put before you all of the regrets that we're aware of and that we know about. And we say we trust you with them all.

37:08 I pray over every listener right now that they will feel your approval, your acceptance, your strength, your power, your love, and your care in and around and upon their life. We are blessed. Help us to remember every day is a gift.

37:37 Thank you for this gift of life. Help us to live today forgiven of regrets and errors and free to be fully engaged and present today. Amen. Amen.

38:01 This has been a presentation of OBB Sound, SB Projects, and Cadence 13. Executive produced by Chelsea Smith, Judah Smith, Michael D. Ratner, Scott Ratner, Elias Tanner, Scooter Braun, Scott Manson, James Shin, and Chris Corcoran. Produced by Grace Delia. Co-produced by Kyle Vanuja of SB Projects. Produced by Lauren LaGrasso and Serena Reagan of Cadence 13. Edited, mixed, and mastered by Adam Macias Original composition by Colin Gileard Production support from Rachel Cruz OBB Sound is an OBB Media Company Cadence 13 is an Odyssey Company