I AM A MOTHER

0:13 okay can I just say I know that there are some feeling a lot of pressure gentlemen children and can I just give you a word that's going to help alleviate some of that stress there is nothing that you can do to repay us the debt. It is a massive debt. And we could have Mother's Day month or Mother's month, Mother's year. You would still be in debt. Because let's face it, we wouldn't be here without a mom, right? I mean, I know that sometimes you might have some, you know, different backgrounds that you come from and maybe memories that are pleasant or unpleasant or whatever, but the basic appreciation is this. You are here because of a mother. When I found out that I was expecting, we were expecting Ed and I.

1:18 It was spring of 1986, and we were so excited, just overwhelmed with the news that come October, we would be parents. And we couldn't wait to tell people all about it, like, we're going to have a baby, tell our family, tell friends. But there was one situation that was a little bit tough because, or really it was a lot tough. My best friend, she and her husband had been married for quite some time and Ed and I just loved them. We would, you know, hang out, go to the movies, just really good friends. And they had been told by a doctor that they would not be able to conceive a child. And they had tried for many years and then finally got that news. And so the first person that I felt like I needed to tell was my friend Sheila. Because I didn't want Sheila to hear that from someone else, because where it was great news for us, I knew that it might be somewhat painful for her. And so if you are here, and maybe that's your situation, I just want to tell you that just like my heart went out to Sheila, our hearts go out to you. When I told Sheila she was just the friend she'd always been she celebrated and I found out something about Sheila that I really already knew but it just became solid in my mind is that Sheila was not faithful to the Lord because of whether or not she was a mother. She was faithful to God because he was her father. And eventually, a few years down the road, Sheila and her husband Lee adopted two beautiful children, and she did indeed become a mom. I'm a mother. When you hear those words you are expecting,

3:25 I don't know what goes through or went through your mind, but I'll tell you what went through my mind. We got a lot of work to do. We've got to get ready for this. Have you ever played the game hide and seek? Hide and seek, you know, we would gather at our house and all the kids in the neighborhood, and you count to 10, and you have to figure out, you have to have a rule because some kids were just cheaters, and they would go 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, and before you knew it, you hadn't even moved three steps and they were saying, ready or not, here I come. And so we added, you had to say banana in the middle, like one banana, two banana, three banana. We were very bright children. And so then you would get to 10 banana and you could say, ready or not, here I come. Pregnancy is a lot like that.

4:19 one month, two months, three months, so forth. You get to nine months and it's just like, ready or not, here I come. And we did a lot of things just to try to get ready for having a baby. Like there was this book, I mean, just brilliant title, What to Expect When You're Expecting. And I mean, the pages were tattered. I read through it because I was like, I don't think, I think I missed something. I think I missed something. And then there were Lamaze classes. See, back in the day, like in the 1980s, if the husband was going to go into the delivery room, they had to go to Lamaze classes so they could be prepared for what was going to happen. Can you even do that? But it was the intent that Lamaze classes would help you get ready. Well, at that time, Ed was in seminary getting his Masters of Divinity.

5:17 And in order to fast track, he did something which is known as the seminary student death sentence. And that was to take Greek and Hebrew at the same time. Yeah, I mean, it's tough. It was really tough for me. It was very tough for him. And it was tough for me. It was tough because I was his wife. And I mean, there was a lot of stuff going on at that time. And he's like, he's MIA. But he had to do these Lamaze classes. I have to tell you, there were a couple times he missed. His mother went with me.

5:52 Now, I loved my mother-in-law. We had a great relationship. It wasn't that typical mother-in-law. I don't know if there is such a thing, but you know how mother-in-laws get kind of the bad rap. I really loved that she went with me. She was awesome. But, I mean, I would have preferred Ed. He was my first choice. But he couldn't go, so he missed several. And our doctor was actually a family friend. But he still said, Ed, you've got to check out the VHS tape from the library and watch the full Lamaze classes. And so what did we do on a Friday night? We settled in for date night. I was in the recliner. Ed was on the sofa. We popped that VHS tape into the VCR. Young people, you're going to have to look that up. It's a lot of initials, and it's extinct. So it begins, and then it quickly gets to the part where childbirth takes place.

6:55 And I glance over, and Ed has grabbed the two pillows on the sofa and has placed them over his ears like that, and he's moaning. no no no no and he rolls off the sofa onto the floor and he's in a fetal position now I am not exaggerating in the least we're in church I'm telling you the truth I see it like it was yesterday he's rolling on the floor with these pillows going I can't do this stop it stop it I can't do this. I can't do this. And I looked at him like, what are you supposed to do? This is me. I'm the one that's got to do everything. You just have to be somewhat educated to go into the room. Oh my goodness. Let's just face it. I mean, it takes two to have a baby. I mean, we know that.

7:53 I mean, I'm not going to go into strong detail here, but let's, we know. But guys, I love football, so I'm just going to use an analogy so you'll get it. you're like the center on a football team. You snap the ball, you hand it off to the quarterback. We're the quarterbacks, okay? You snap the ball, we've got it, and it's up to us to make the play. I'm just going to tell you, you're going to have your day in June, and I think you deserve a day. a day. No, we celebrate you too. But I mean, it's all about that preparation. You just think, oh my goodness, will I ever be prepared? And by the time the twins were born, LeBeth was seven, EJ was three. And of course EJ had some health issues. So there was a lot going on. His development was a little bit delayed and all of this. And then I found out I was pregnant with twins will, glory, hallelujah, it was a miracle. And they are a miracle still, adult children miracle. We can talk about motherhood of adult children. That's another, that's a whole nother Sunday. So, but when we were getting ready to leave the hospital and it was just Ed and I in the room and our pediatrician came in and she was kind of given the last check of the twins before we were going to go home. And now the interesting thing about this whole process of being a parent, when LeBeth was born, I got to stay four days in the hospital. Four days. It was glorious.

9:32 When EJ was born, I got to stay three days. Second child, I'm thinking they should have given me five because four, then two children, five. And then the twins were born, I got two days. I'm like, are you guys crazy? What is it? I mean, it was something to do with the insurance company, but that it's just not fair. I needed to stay longer. I'm telling you. But when we got ready to check out our pediatrician, who's wonderful, came into the room and she said, Lisa, you have LeBeth. She's seven. You have EJ. He's three. You have these beautiful twins. You've gone through almost anything that a parent is going to go through. I mean, she was fully aware of what we'd dealt with with EJ's health and everything. She said, You know the stuff. But if you ever get in a bind, if I ever get in a bind, call me, and I'll be sure to help. And I looked at her, because she was telling me, Lisa, you've got it.

10:30 You have everything you need. You're going to do great. And I was looking at her like, Dr. Dickey, no, I do not have it. I don't know what I'm doing. And I know this is my third and fourth rodeo here, but I don't know what I'm doing. And I think a lot of times as moms, the mantle is so heavy. The mantle of motherhood is that we often feel like we just don't know enough to do this thing. We need more. I found myself saying over and over, I need more, I need more, and then fill in the blank. I need more help. I need more time. I need more of anything just to be able to do this monumental task. Ephesians 3.20 says, now to him who is able to do immeasurably more, say more, more than all we ask or imagine according to his power that is at work within us. We do need more of a lot of of practical things. But more than anything, we need Jesus who can do more than we can ever think, ask, or imagine. Some of the phrases that I used as far as I need more, one of them was information.

11:59 When our kids were born, I thought to myself, I should have done more babysitting jobs. I mean, surely if I'd have done more babysitting, I would know more, be prepared for this. I don't know. I just thought, well, maybe that's the answer. Thankfully, there were books like What to Expect When You're Expecting, and then they even had books like What to Expect When You Have a Toddler, and I'm like, well, these just keep going and going. Like, What to Expect When You Take Your Child to high school for the first time, to prom. I needed every book there possibly could be, but one of the great things about needing more is God in his sovereignty, whether it's It's whatever practical need you have, he interjects just what you need, just what people who you need to do life with so that when you get into these binds and you're like, I don't know enough, there's resources. Fellowship Church is one of the greatest resources.

12:53 Ed and I, I mean, we consider ourselves to be good parents, but we were better parents because of this house and raising our children here at Fellowship. So I need more information. Here is one that you will hear all the time. I need more time. I need more time. I need more time. There are 24 hours in a day. I'm an advocate that God knew what he was doing with 24 hours. I don't want 36 hours. I'm exhausted at the end of the day. I don't want more time. But sometimes we feel like we need more time because we have too much stuff packed in to the time that we have. Ed and I had the privilege of keeping our grandchildren, three of our grandchildren, this weekend. And grandparenting, just, you know, I'm sure there's some grandparents in the room. Grandparenting is so much more fun than parenting. I mean, this is Mother's Day, but Grandmother's Day, yeah, that's a real treat. I mean, we could just do one day and just have a big party and it would be great because everything else about it is just a celebration. So we had the opportunity to take our five-year-old grandson, Dodge, to his coach pitch game.

14:09 It was the last game of the season, and so there was a pizza party afterwards. So we go over with all the other parents to the little park area where they were having the pizza party, and all these parents are gathered, and they're parents of like elementary age, and some of them were preschool-aged children. And the conversations that we overheard were, yeah, we've got a doubleheader this afternoon, and I'm telling you, Jake's got a soccer tournament. And we started at 8 a.m. this morning and our last game's at eight tonight. And I'm like, Ed and I were talking about it after we dropped the kids off because you don't want to talk about this in front of them. But we were just, you know, it's interesting how when you're an empty nester and you talk about just anything, you have to remember when they're in the car like, ooh, oh no, yeah, wait for later. And so we were just talking about this schedule and how the time, the amount of time we have in a day is just Pac-Manned with good things, but not necessarily the best things. I mean, these were five-year-olds, six-year-olds, seven-year-olds, and I just would encourage you, if you feel like, I just don't have enough time, perhaps do an inventory to say, I don't have enough time, or I don't have the ability to articulate the word no.

15:40 No. No, we can't put that in our schedule because what happens is we do all these good things and we eliminate the best thing. And the next thing you know, all the tournaments are on a Wednesday night or a Sunday morning and there's no time for the mix. There's no time for church. And you're like, oh, well, but I mean, you know, he's got to be on that team or whatever. Again, good thing. but what is the most important task that we carry? It's leading our children to know Jesus and if we let everything else get in the way of the most important yes then we've missed the mark. We've missed the mark. How about this one? I need more energy. Yes I need more energy. My sister sent me a little comic strip. I think she was trying to be nice but it was kind of mean and it said, it showed a mother outside the bedroom of her children that were in twin beds and the little bubble above the mom's head said, if only I could think of them as sleeping and not recharging.

16:53 Because sleep is where they recharge and guess what? They wake up the next morning and they've got energy regardless of whether you have energy. So it's really important if you're saying I need more energy, well, let me look at what I'm doing to make that happen. Am I eating right? Am I exercising? And am I doing the very basic things in order to have more energy? Am I saying no to the right things so that I'm not so exhausted doing everything rather than the best thing? I have four children and sometimes that required in order to exercise to get up before they did and work out. We had a recumbent bicycle and it was old and creaky, but we, you know, that's what I did before they got up and it made a difference in the day. It just helps if you just do those basic things. And I also can tell I'm a sweets fanatic. I love sweets. And actually I'll make a confession here. I like the off-brand cheap Oreos. Not the Nabisco, but the Great Value.

17:59 That's my favorite, the great value brand. And I look at that box because I order on Walmart and they bring it to my front door. It's just sin on delivery. and I look at that, and I'm thinking, that would be a delicious breakfast, but it's not the best choice, and so I have to say, you know, kind of wade through that, but just think of some practical things to do in order to have more energy. I need more help. There's never enough hands, and Ed and I had to have conversations continually about how we could help one another out. When I found out I was pregnant with the twins, we were building this building, preparing for moving in. And it was like, what are we going to do? And the week before they were born, a magazine showed up at our door. It was put out by Focus on the Family. And it said the number one, it was June, they were born June 30th. It said the number one need of a father is to feel, I think it was rest and security as in charge.

19:07 And I'm like, really? In two weeks, we're going to have twins. And we're going to worry about Ed being secure and rested. And I love focus on the family, but I wanted to write a letter. But you need more help. So perhaps enlist family friends to do a swap with babysitting or that type of stuff so that you can get help. I need more guidance. This parenting thing, I mean, there's questions. Again, we're tasked with keeping this child alive. I mean, that's a pretty big responsibility. The first night we were home from the hospital with Leigh Beth, of course, three hours that we were trying to get that three-hour schedule down. we, I'm sorry, at seminary, we, it was me. And it's okay. It's so okay, honey. It's good.

20:03 And can I say he passed with flying colors. He has his master's in divinity and part of a doctorate. So anyway, okay. I just made up for everything I've said so far. But I got up in the night and I'm like, okay, she's fed, she's changed, and we've got to get her back on the schedule. So I saw in her little bassinet a pacifier. It was a pacifier that had been sent home from the hospital with her. But I was so naive that I looked at that, and I thought, could she choke on that thing? You know, you read all these horror stories about choking and babies and everything, and I was like, could she choke on a pacifier? It never dawned on me that if they sent it home with her, that it's probably safe. You know, it's from the hospital. So what did I do? I needed guidance. I picked up the phone and I called the nurse's station and I asked, listen, no joke. Before we left the hospital, one of the nurses took me aside and she said, Miss Young, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to call because someone's at this desk all the time. Well, you know what I did, I picked up that phone and I called and I said, by chance, that pacifier that you sent us home with, is that safe for her? And she said, well, of course, Ms. Young, we would never send you home with something that's not safe for your baby. And I was like, oh, great. Thank you so much.

21:31 This is going to be helpful during the night. And I hung the phone up and I can just imagine the cackle of laughter that happened at that nurse's station. But that's okay because I needed guidance. That's why community is so important to have friends that you rub shoulders with that you can ask someone who's gone before you that you could say, hey, I mean, as dumb a question, which really there shouldn't be a dumb question, but as can they choke on a pacifier? That's okay, because we sometimes need guidance. We also need, this was a big one for me, I need more wisdom. Children are very smart. They're very savvy. And I have found over my years of parenting that my children are often more savvy than I am. They're smarter than me. Well, yeah, they probably are. So one particular situation, and I'm just like, really? I mean, seriously I'm dealing with this one particular situation LeBeth was two and a half and she never really had tantrums I mean I'm I mean we didn't go through the terrible twos or whatever I never liked those labels because it's like you prepared for them to be horrible or whatever but she was two and a half and life was good and we had a great relationship and I was feeling good about my mom skills at that time. And I put her in the car to go to Target. And she had these coloring sheets that she would hold in her car seat. And when we got to Target, I noticed these just shreds of paper in the back seat. And she had torn one page just completely and not thousands of pieces, but it seemed like thousands of pieces. And I said, Lee Beth, why did you do that? Of course, you know, why would you ask a child, why did you do this? They don't know. What did I expect her to say? Because I have a sin nature. I do these things. But I just said, do not do that.

23:37 It makes mommy's car messy. And now I have to pick up the pieces. You're going to have to help me pick up the pieces. I said, if you want to keep coloring pages here in the back seat with you, you have got to promise me you're not going to tear the pages up. I promise, mommy, I promise. We go into Target. We do what we need to do. We get back in the car. We're headed back home. We pull into the driveway. I opened the back door, look at the car seat, paper shredded everywhere. I said, Lee Beth, I was very clear. You are not supposed to tear up the paper and make a terrible mess in the back of the car. This was her response. Mommy, my hands did it. But my head didn't know anything about it. I mean, seriously, a two and a half year old. Now I know she was advanced, but still,

24:40 it's just, we get faced with all kinds of things. We need wisdom. And that's a very humorous story. But over the course of my mothering, we have faced some very, very serious situations where I've needed guidance that goes way beyond my years, that I've needed wisdom because I could not understand what was going on and why we were the ones going through what we were going through. God provides it all. He will provide it for you. These are physical needs, practical needs that we have. Time, knowledge, information, wisdom, guidance, energy, all of those things. Very practical.

25:28 But God tells us in order to do what he's called us to do as moms, yes, we want to deal with the practical, but we have to deal with something deeper than that. There's a story in John chapter four. It's about the woman who comes to a well. It's Jacob's well. And it's the middle of the day because this woman has a sordid past. And she doesn't want to go to the well in the morning when all the other women come to the well. She goes at noon because she doesn't want to run into anybody. She doesn't want anyone to see her because she doesn't have a good reputation. She struggles in life. She has a past. So she shows up at the well around noon, and Jesus also shows up at the well. Now, the interesting thing about this interchange is that she comes to get water because what? She had a practical need for water. She meets Jesus there, And Jesus says, would you pour me some water?

26:35 And she looks at him and she's disturbed because not only is he a Jew, but he's a man. And he's talking to a woman who's a Samaritan. So all of these boundaries have been crossed by him just saying, could you get me some water? And she responds and is going to get him water. And the conversation proceeds and he says, I can give you something more. I can give you something more that you did not even know you needed. And it's found in John 4, 13 through 14. It says, Jesus answered, everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again. But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water, welling up to eternal life. The interesting thing about a spring is it's continuous. It doesn't stop. And Jesus is saying, I'm going to give you an everlasting water that you did not even know you needed. So often we're focused on those practical needs and we forget our deepest need.

27:52 In order to lead our children, we cannot lead them where we have not been. And so it's all about that supernatural need being met. After this exchange, she goes back to her town, the little village close by. And rather than ducking in the shadows, she tells people about this man that she had met and about what had happened in her life and that he knew everything there was to know about her, and she tells people boldly her testimony. And further along in that passage, it says that the town was forever changed because of her testimony. Moms, if we will allow Jesus to fill us supernaturally above everything else with his living water, giving our lives to him with everything, the totality of our lives.

29:01 It will be like a spring, bubbling water, overflowing. And it might be a town, but more importantly, it will be your children who see the difference, who know the difference, and who want to have exactly what you have. I'd like for us to bow in prayer right now. And I just have a prayer to pray over all of the moms here. This is found in Ephesians. It's actually a passage of scripture. And it's the verses that come right before Ephesians 3.20 that I read earlier. It's Ephesians 3.14-21. And I just feel like as Paul penned these words, it is so appropriate for every mom here to pray. And I would like if you are seated near or close to a mom, just reach your hand toward the mother, maybe the mother in your life or one on your row, and pray this earnestly with us.

30:05 for this reason I kneel before the father from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his spirit in your inner being so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith and I pray that you being rooted and established in love may have power together with all the Lord's holy people to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ. And to know this love that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.

31:04 To him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever.