Questions · Part 2

0:00 I'll never forget years ago I was in a trendy coffee shop sipping espresso at dark 30. Now, we need to pronounce espresso correctly. It's not expresso. It's espresso. I learned that a while back. Would you say that with me? Espresso. Thank you. As I was exiting this trendy coffee shop, I looked and saw, you know, a bro, young guy, had the ubiquitous tattoos, and I think he had one earring, and he's kind of the cool guy. He had his Bible out. So I had that caffeine buzz going, so I thought, hey, how you doing?

0:55 What are you reading? He goes, I'm a pastor. Really? Yeah, I just started this church. We already have 55 people showing up. I said, that's great. I said, I'm a pastor too. He said, really? I said, yes. What's the name of your church? I said, Fellowship Church. Oh, you mean a giant church across the street from Grapevine Mills? Yes! Yeah, uh-huh. well man why don't you sit down I'd love to talk to you okay so I sat down ordered another espresso I was there for an hour. And this young pastor talked about himself.

1:59 for an hour. He never asked me one question. He talked about himself. And then at the end of the conversation, he began to kind of critique fellowship church. Now, I want you to think about this for a second. His church was running at the time, maybe 55 people. We were running over 20,000. I don't know everything. There's a lot of stuff I don't know, but you're telling me you're going to sit down with someone and not ask them one question? I thought to myself, brother, what are you smoking?

2:41 So I was polite. I wasn't mean. I walked out of the trendy coffee shop, got into my SUV. I'll never forget it. Grasped the steering wheel, and I said, Lord, I pray that that is never, ever me. If I ever behave like that, Holy Spirit, just remind me. I'll never forget that.

3:14 Well, it continues because when our oldest daughter died four years ago, Lisa and I went away to Florida for several months. And the first several days we were there, my office called and said, Ed, there's a person that wants to talk to you. Very popular person. If I mentioned this guy's name, you would know him. Everyone would.

3:42 So I said, okay. So this person called me. And I normally don't do this, but I looked at my phone, and I just started counting the minutes he talked about himself. Now remember, I just lost our oldest daughter. and I think the conversation went for 52 minutes and he talked 48 minutes about himself. didn't ask me one question. How are you feeling?

4:23 How are you going to process this? How's Lisa doing? Tell me about the church, the kids. And I hung up the phone and I go, Lisa, are you ready? for that. She just shook her head. She's like, unbelievable it's interesting that most of us don't ask questions and here's what's weird about it because we're so self-unaware a lot of you think you ask questions but you don't oh no no and i ask questions no you don't not really I want to get down deep into questions because the Bible is a book about Q and A. That's what it's about.

5:20 Questions and answers. Every single person, before I get into where we're going today, is a genius. In other words, if I sit by anyone, they know things that I don't. They know things that you don't. If I'm smart, if I'm wise, if I reflect the nature and the character of God, if I glorify God, which, by the way, is the reason we're here, if I do that, one of the things I'm going to do is I'm going to be inquisitive. God, although he's omniscient, is inquisitive. 3,000 questions in the Bible, 300 were given to us by Jesus. It's interesting how we stop learning.

6:15 You stop asking questions, you will stop to learn. You'll cease from learning. So what we're talking about is very, very important, and it's exhilarating, it's fun. A-S-K, as we learned last time, I'm always seeking knowledge. Always seeking knowledge. Always seeking knowledge. Today we're going to look once again at Exodus chapter 18, which is one of the most cataclysmic chapters in the Bible on questions because, and you've heard of Moses. Moses was the guy that led millions of Jews out of Egyptian slavery. This conversation that Moses had about questions and answers changed his leadership. The tectonic plates of his life were altered because of his conversation he had about questions and answers.

7:21 and he was having this conversation with his father-in-law of all people. Now guys, think about that. Your father-in-law is gonna critique you? Your father-in-law is going to challenge you? Here's what I love about Moses. He was not an ask hole.

7:46 No, I don't think bad. No, no, no, where's your mind going? Uh-uh, uh-uh. when someone asks your advice and then they do the opposite, they're an asshole.

8:07 And that would be one of my biggest frustrations, just personally, let me vent for a second. This would be cathartic. As a pastor, I cannot tell you the number of people who've asked me questions about marriage, about life, about finances, about their psychological makeup, about God's will. And I will open God's word and tell them what the Bible says and then they'll go out and do the opposite. They're assholes. It's okay to say it. but God wants us to get our ask in gear, always seeking knowledge, always seeking knowledge, and let me give you the Wikipedia. If you were here last week, how many people were not here last week? See, no one will raise their hands because they're scared to death. We have all of these cameras, and we can record who's here and who's not.

9:04 Anyway, we learned last time that Moses was camped out at the base of Mount Sinai. He'd been on the run leading two million Jews for two months. He'd seen God do supernatural work after supernatural work. His wife, Zipporah, that's a great name, and his two sons were with his father-in-law.

9:32 His father-in-law joined Moses at the base of Mount Sinai. I'm sure he walked in their RV and they had this big celebration. Moses told him everything that God was doing. The Bible says in Exodus 18, that's so important to tell people what God is doing. You don't tell everybody, but you tell certain people. He told Jethro that and Jethro rejoiced. Jethro made an offering along with Moses. They had this meal. And the next day, Moses invited, I guess, Jethro. He might have forced himself to work. Jethro watched Moses, and he could not believe what Mo was doing. Mo had no momentum. Mo was trying to do everything himself. Two million Jews.

10:29 All of the drama, all the problems. and Moses is trying to do everything himself. Could you be that way? Could I be that way? So he observes Moses trying to do everything himself, and he asks him two questions. What are you doing and why are you doing it? Say what with me. That's the information. Say why with me. That's the explanation. What are you doing? Why are you doing it? Try that with your spouse. Now you've got to say it in the right way. Hey, baby. What are you doing?

11:16 And why are you doing it? Have you noticed when husbands talk to wives, we talk in a higher tone? Did you know that? We don't talk like this. What are you doing? No. We try to identify with them. What are you doing? Why are you doing it? Try that with your kids. Try that with your grandkids. Try that with your coworkers. Try that with your teammates. What are you doing? We do it with the staff all the time. What are you doing and why are you doing it?

11:55 Oh, Ed, that sounds so elementary. No, it's not. It's some deep stuff. Because Moses answered him. The Bible says, Exodus chapter 18,

13:05 And then he challenged Moses to do something that a lot of times we think we do, but we don't. Delegation. Now, we're great at relegation, but I'm talking about delegation. Delegation is you are offloading things to others, but then you inspect what they do. It's not just going out of sight, out of mind. And it's giving people responsibilities and then you check up. Because if you don't check up on people, they will check out. Some of the time? No. All of the time. Moses got it. Okay. And he changed his leadership scheme because of this. In verse 24, Moses listened to his father-in-law and did everything he said.

14:06 Let's give him a round of applause. That's good. That's good. Because God speaks to us in unusual ways. even through our father-in-law. so when I ask a question and I want you to think back on Exodus chapter 18 I should go okay what does this confirm I'm asking you a question when Jethro asked Moses a question he was probably kind of thinking through these things okay what should I copy what should I copy what should I copy see these lights up there look up incredible aren't they see those curtains there they didn't just appear see these oh I love these things here See these tables with lights? How?

15:08 How did that happen? I'll tell you why it happened. We asked the right people the right questions to get the right answers. But to do that, you have to ask a lot of wrong people the right questions to see who the right people are to give you the right answers. This room is huge. This room is made to seat 5,000 people. We only put 4,100 seats in here. What's up, big man? And we have a lot of spacing between the aisles so you can get in and out. If we want to, you can kneel. Are you feeling me? Yeah. So when we have like a creative church conference and we have thousands and thousands of people here, it's great. They go all the way to the ceiling, like in the balcony. Or maybe when the Cowboys aren't playing and I'm doing some hot series or whatever, packed out.

16:04 But other times, if it's not packed out, cold weather or spring break, you know, or summertime, see those curtains in the back? We have more curtains than Chip and Joanna Gaines. We have the curtains there. And the curtains are beautiful. I'm going somewhere with this. Don't think I'm not. And sometimes we push the curtains back, sometimes forward. how did you come up with this? And then those blocks, we made those blocks. How did you come up with this? Ask the right people the right questions, get the right answers. We saw what people have done and we go, oh man, we can do better than that. This room is massive. How do we make it more intimate? curtains, lights. we have to think that way about our significant relationships we have to think that way about our walk with Christ we have to think that way about how we handle our finances what should this confirm what should I copy God gave you eyes plagiarize What should I cancel because of this?

17:38 Well. I remember looking at this cavernous room and going, let's cancel it. We need to put the lights and the curtains and the cute little tables with lights. I copied that from someone. We used to have just people standing there. We cancel that because those are more inviting. what should I create when I'm talking to you what should what should I create what what what should I do because of what I'm asking you so what does this confirm in my life where God's leading me what should I copy what should I cancel and what should I create but what do we do hey man how are you doing? We don't really mean that. We don't care what the answer is. We just know it's an opportunity for me to talk about myself more.

18:40 Again, you don't, I know, and I'm not trying to hurt anybody's feelings, but those of you who think you ask questions, you don't. No. You're not asking the right people the right questions to get the right answers. And Moses listened and Jethro asked the right questions.

19:06 When someone asks you a question, or when someone asks me a question, you'll have different responses. We normally have different responses, like four of them. We either blow up. What are you here? We either shut up. Are you okay? Yes. Seriously? Yeah. Are you in a bad mood? No. And then some throw up.

19:36 But then the difference makers step up. That's what Moses did. At Fellowship Church, a little bit about our staff, we have a drama-free environment. Hey, the hurt feelings field is over there. we try to create a climate of critique not criticism critique critique helps you to be better criticism you know tears you down but if you can't take critique you don't make it here at fellowship it's not going to happen a lot of us are afraid of critique they might not understand. They might blow up, shut up, or throw up. Find the right people who will step up.

20:33 Affirm the relationship when you critique. Talk about the good. Then talk about what needs to be changed. Tell people, sometimes we're going to cancel things just to cancel things. Sometimes we'll add things just to add things. Moses understood, didn't he? So when we begin to do these things and have this climate of critique, here's what happens.

21:05 we throw ourselves into the spin cycle of success. This is where questions will take you. What are you doing? Why are you doing it? questions then we have change a lot of people don't like change i know i know but i say if it ain't broke break it change just to change at fellowship church sometimes we'll just change but what are the metrics that no you don't get it we just change why when you have change you've got conflict look at Moses life he had to change his leadership style and don't you know there was conflict Moses you're not available now to all the people I can't reach up and shake your hand every day and give you a chest bump I mean you imagine that two million Jews after Moses Let's go.

22:20 But then... as Moses received those answers and he introduced change in his life and he knew he was going to have to process conflict, what happens if we stay with change through conflict and chaos?

22:45 Growth. Growth. I remember when the kids were young, Lisa and I Scheduled every Thursday night A date night Back then, it wasn't easy to go on a date night.

23:08 It was almost more work to get prepared for it than it was to go. It was like, man, why are we even doing this? So we ask hard questions about our marriage. How do we stay in this thing for the long haul? You know?

23:30 And then we made changes to our schedule when we installed this. And it wasn't easy. there was conflict. Our kids, no, no, leave. Don't. we're coming back. No! We're coming back! And because of that, growth. We've been married now 42 years. And By God's mercy, we have an outstanding marriage. Not a perfect one, but a great one. So that's what I'm talking about practically here. Let me give you one little add-on here. When you ask the right people the right questions to get the right answers, the right people, God, others, and yourself,

24:31 the right questions, confirm, copy, cancel, create, to get the right answers, okay? Here are some right answers. Here's how they will flow, because people ask me that. Well, how about the answers? When you ask the right people the right questions to get the right answers, your answers will either be actions or feelings. If they're feelings, watch out, because my feelings change a lot. Actions is another level. Service or self-centeredness. The answers are either going to be about serving one another, or some people will talk just about yourself. Service wins over self in the Christian game.

25:30 Then giving or getting. The right answers are going to lean, aren't they, into giving. That's Moses.

25:50 That's Jethro. And the Bible says Jethro left after 48 hours. As I've said, it gives all of us the biblical foundation to only be with our in-laws for 48 hours. It's right here in Exodus chapter 18. What are you doing? Yeah, I'm going to ask you that. If you're on the back of the balcony or you're by the curtain, what are you doing? Seriously.

26:21 I mean, what's your life about? Recreating, procreating, doing deals and dying? That's it? A lot of people live that way. What are you doing? you're made to glorify God. So am I. What does it mean to glorify God? To reflect who he is in everything we do, say, touch, and feel.

26:45 Why are you doing it? Because we're made that way. And that is truly what the blessed life is all about. So how do you answer those questions? What are you doing and why are you doing it? Then let me ask you the same questions. What are you doing and why are you doing it? Have you ever given your life to Christ? Have you ever said, Jesus, infiltrate my life, Jesus. I open the lid of my life to you and ask you to come in. Have you ever said that? That's your purpose. that's a personal decision that only you can make.

27:36 Ask the right people the right questions to get the right answers. Let's pray together. Father, thank you for this message about questions. And I thank you for the opportunity and the ability that we have to ask questions. If you find yourself here today and you've never asked Jesus Christ to come into your life, you can make that decision right now by saying, Jesus, I confess my sins to you. I believe that you lived and died for my wrongdoings and rose again. And right now I ask you to come into my life. If you said that, that's the greatest response to God's question. That's the greatest answer, the only answer that you can get.

28:38 Others of us here, God, we need a refresher course on the importance of learning and questioning. And I look forward to what we're going to digest. We ask all these things in Christ's name. Thank you.