WHY NOT ME?

0:03 There is truly nothing like getting a brand new phone. The moment you and I receive a brand new phone, it's the best feeling ever. The new features, the long battery life. It can hold a charge and be without a charge for like more than three days, they say. The camera that takes the best photos on the market. There's nothing like it. Then a couple weeks go by. You're driving down the tollway, driving down 75. You see an ad on Instagram. You get an email. Apple releasing the greatest and newest iPhone this fall. Suddenly, your phone doesn't feel so new anymore. Nothing about your phone has changed. The only thing that's changed is your awareness something better, something greater existed.

1:02 That feeling that we've all faced, scripture addresses that issue, that feeling. In Exodus chapter 20, verse 17 says this, you shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife or his male servant or his female servant or his ox or his donkey or anything that is your neighbor's. Now, most of us would not say we own any donkey or any ox. Well, maybe, just maybe, at our Elasa Ranch campus in East Texas, maybe they have some, but I doubt anyone at Fort Worth, right here in Grapevine, Frisco, Dallas, we wouldn't own any ox or any donkey. So let's modernize this verse. It says this, you shall not crave your neighbor's house. You shall not desire your neighbor's spouse, their career, their staff, their income, their car, their success, or anything that belongs to someone else.

2:04 This command has just moved from the visible to the invisible. Every command that we've studied over these past several weeks can be measured in behavior. This one, though, is measured in desire. You can hide it from people. You can keep it on the DL, the down low, but you cannot hide it from God. It doesn't confront what you and I have done. This confronts what you and I want. What does it mean to covet? Here, let's look at the definition of coveting. It says, it's a disorder desire for something God has not given you, especially something that belongs to someone else. So at its core, coveting isn't just about what you and I lack. It's what we believe about God. It reveals whether you and I trust his wisdom, his timing, his goodness.

3:02 Coveting is actually a trust problem disguised as a desire problem. It's a trust problem disguised as a desire problem. The Tenth Commandment is ultimately asking you and I this question. Do we trust God? Do we trust God with every fiber of our being? We live in a culture of comparison. It's exacerbated by this little rectangle of death. The device that lays inside here is the root cause to all of our issues we're facing today. We doom scroll social media, watch highlight reel after highlight reel after highlight reel, see people jet setting all over the world, their vacations, their cars, their success, and we feel so far behind. And it starts ever so slightly with this, God, that's not fair, God. Why do they get to go there, God? Why them and not me? Hey, Lord, I've been faithful to you. Why can't I have what they have? And without even realizing it, our posture has shifted because posture determines direction.

4:17 Whatever you and I focus on grows. Whatever you and I rehearse in our heart becomes our reality. I love photography. And if you've been in our church long enough, you might remember me with a camera around my neck, running around this church, taking photos. And I started photography when I was 12 years old. One of the first things you learn about photography is making sure your subject's in focus. So when I'm taking a photo of Pastor Ed, taking a photo of our amazing worship team, I'm gonna make sure they're in focus. And that photo will be beautiful and clear. But if my focal point is just slightly off, if it's on the background instead of the subject, the photo is ruined, the photo is distorted. Our hearts work the exact same way. When we focus on what God has given us, his blessings, his grace, his provision, our perspective is clear.

5:17 It's a beautiful photo. Our gratitude will grow. Our worship will grow. Our trust will grow. But if we focus on what someone else has and what we lack, our eyes, our soul shifts and everything blurs. God looks less generous. His wisdom feels unfair. His timing begins to feel like neglect. And that distortion, it spreads. It fuels resentment, dishonor, it compromise. Coveting becomes the root system to so many other sins. It's a parasite. The moment that gratitude fades, the resentment will grow, and we move from, oh my goodness, God, thank you for what you're doing in my life, to God, why not me? That three-word phrase is so dangerous for you and I. God, why not me?

6:11 That's where the drift begins, because when we obsess over what we lack, we lose sight of what we have, and we eventually lose sight of the one who'd given us everything. And that's where the problem lies. The problem lies beneath our desire. When I was born, doctors diagnosed me with a rare neurological disease called neurofibromatosis type 1. I know that's a mouthful. Basically, this disease causes tumors to grow on my nerve endings. I have fibromas. They grow cutaneously. That's above the skin. Subcutaneously, that's below the skin. These doctors told my parents that I would have disfigurements. I would not be able to have kids, most likely. Not be able to play sports. I could go deaf, I could go blind. They told my parents, I would have all these challenges in life. Can you imagine what that was like for my parents?

7:06 My parents are our pastors, Ed and Lisa Young. One of many people don't know about their story is they had just walked through a miscarriage. Think about this. They had my sister, Lee Beth, walk through a miscarriage, losing a child, and then their newborn son, they find out has this life-altering, life-shattering disease. I cannot imagine. what that was like for my parents. But by the grace of God, I'm a walking, talking miracle. all those complications the doctors said would happen, most of them never came to be. A few subtle things that some people might notice, those cutaneous tumors I told you about, they're called fibromas, I have those on my skin. A couple learning disabilities, I mean, I don't know if you can tell, I'm very ADT, but all in all, I've lived a healthy, lived a full life. But I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't struggle with coveting.

8:03 As I've gotten older, I go to the beach, I go to the pool, go on vacation, I take my shirt off, and I see my skin covered in these fibromas, and I look at other people with clean, unmarked skin, and I feel the slips start to happen in my life. God, why me? God, why do I have this diagnosis? Why can't I look like that? God, I want what he has.

8:36 Coveting doesn't shout. It whispers ever so slightly to you and to me. It feels reasonable. It feels justified. It doesn't say and scream in our lives, oh, we hate God. It quietly says, hey, God, why not me? And it's something we do not want to admit to. And as a pastor, I've had the opportunity to pray for people over a multitude of things. People ask for prayer for their lyingness, maybe they're struggling with lust, their addiction, a whole laundry list of things. But coveting, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, that's never popped up as someone asking for prayer over that. Why? Because it deals with our heart. It deals with our innermost desires. It deals with our desires. Mark chapter seven, verse 21 through 23 says this. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness.

9:48 All these evil things come from within and they defile a person. Look at the company that coveting keeps. Listed alongside sins, we would say, are all dangerous, detrimental to our lives. So what is this telling you and I? This is not something to play around with. This is not something to mess with. This is an issue of our heart. Because coveting is so sneaky. It's a sneaky sin. Because it can hide behind compliments. It can say, oh my goodness, I'm so happy for you. while quietly wishing that thing that they have was ours. We wish it was ours. And here's what the Apostle Paul says in 1 Thessalonians 2, verse five. He says that flattering words can hide behind a cloak of covetousness. We say one thing, put up a false front, but underneath our heart, our soul is still comparing to our neighbors.

10:47 You and I, we covet because we believe only if we had what my neighbor had, my coworker had, only if I had that family, only if I had that car, that income. We say only if, only if, only we'd be secure. But what is the gospel telling you and I? Our security was never in what you and I have. It's in what Christ has already secured for you and for me. And when we desire anything above Christ, Christ is no longer the center of our lives. I love C.S. Lewis. C.S. Lewis is one of my favorite theologians and authors. He said this. He said that envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own. I like substituting that word envy for coveting. Coveting is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own.

11:44 Think about King David. King David, a man after God's own heart. He had wealth, victory, power, influence. He was the giant slayer. Yet one day, David was where he shouldn't have been. He should have been in battle, but he was walking the rooftops of his palace, walking on the edge and the ledge. He saw Bathsheba bathing in the sunlight. Bathsheba was married to one of his soldiers, Uriah. The Bible says that David coveted Bathsheba. He wanted what was in his. Again, that's coveting. He took what wasn't his. He stole. He tried to cover up what wasn't his. He lied. Then he killed to protect what wasn't his. He murdered. With one swing of the bat, four of the Ten Commandments broken. What started out as a glance became lust. Lust became action.

12:36 Action became deception. Deception became murder. 2 Samuel 11, 27 says this, but the thing that David did displeased the Lord. It displeased the Lord. And thank goodness, David had someone in his life to hold him accountable. Nathan, a man in his life, held him accountable and David ended up confessing, I have sinned against the Lord. Then Nathan replied with this, the Lord has put away your sins and surely you will not die. I know what most of you are thinking. Wait, David? King David deserved to die for what he did? Yes, according to the law, David, King David deserved death. But the Lord forgave. The Lord showed mercy. But just because he was forgiven, just because he was given mercy, doesn't mean the consequences still remain.

13:34 Because the child that Bathsheba and David had died. David's household, his life was forever in shambles because of the decision that he made. David, he didn't lack resources. He lacked perspective because when perspective warps, desire distorts. And when desire distorts, destruction always follows you and me. And that's what happens when you and I lose our perspective, when we lose our focus on the one who's provided everything that we need. Coveting doesn't come from having too little. It comes from forgetting what God has already given you and me. And let's be real. Having a heavenly perspective on this matter is easier said than done. One of the hardest spiritual tensions we all face as Christians, we all face is how do we celebrate a good gift, a good blessing in someone else's life when it quietly reminds you and me what we lack, something that we may never have.

14:40 You smile. We smile. We congratulate and we mean it down deep, but underneath the surface of all, our heart, our soul aches for that thing. True freedom, though, begins by shifting our focus from what we lack to who God is. And there are desires that God wants you and I to have. Romans 8, 29 says we're being conformed to the very image of Christ. That means that Christ wants us to desire growth, maturity, holiness. Think about the fruits of the Spirit. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and self-control. And it's not wrong to desire things of this world. It's not wrong to desire a marriage. Wrong to desire kids, job opportunity, growth. Those are not wrong.

15:35 Those are not inherently wrong. They're human desires that we all face. but the key is order. When growth in Christ is primary, everything else in our life becomes secondary. When Christlikeness is the anchor, good desires don't control you and I, they're entrusted to God. A good desire though can become dangerous when it turns into man, oh God, you owe me for this. God, you know how many times I've been serving this year at church? You owe me. You and I can still want something deeply and say, hey, Lord, Lord, shape me through this season I'm in. Grow me in this. And if you withhold this from me, God, Lord, let you alone be enough for me. God cares more about who we're becoming than what we're accumulating.

16:30 God cares more about our sanctification than if we're married, having kids, having a job promotion, getting that brand new car. God cares more about our growth in him than what we are accumulating. And one of the things that is so frustrating as a pastor is seeing people use the Bible to their own desires, their own needs. And they take it out of context all the time. One of these verses they use is Psalm 37, 4. It says, delight yourself in the Lord. He will give you the desires of your heart. You're probably saying, oh my goodness. It's a get rich quick scheme. I figured it out. No, this verse right here is a promise of provision, not a promise of prosperity. God is talking about food, drink, clothing, daily needs, daily necessities. The covenant gospel tells you and I, hey, seek God and he will give you your desires.

17:28 What is scripture telling us? What is God telling you and I? He's saying, seek me and you will not be ruled by the desires of your heart. Growing up, once a year for the first 16 years of my life, we had to travel down to MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, Texas for testing for my NF. And I remember vividly as a child sitting in the children's cancer wing playing with kids my own age. These kids were pale, they were frail, no hair on their heads, obviously going through cancer treatments, obviously going through chemo. And I told myself this, I said, EJ, you can never complain. It was like a Holy Spirit was speaking to my life. You can never complain. Never complain about being poked, prodded, your blood work, your MRIs, all the testing you have to go through doesn't even compare to what those kids are going through.

18:23 I didn't covet those kids' lives, but I still struggle. I still struggle with coveting. recently my wife and I started trying to start a family several years ago and we walked the painful path that so many people face with fertility struggling with fertility and my wife and I would see posts after posts after posts coming this summer this spring this winter here we're like God why not us God why is it so easy for them to start a family why can't we have that? God, that's not fair. God, I want what they have. One of the things I've learned about coveting is coveting grows fastest in seasons of waiting. It's like mold. Mold grows fastest in the dark. And many of you feel like you're in the dark right now. Maybe you're struggling with fertility issues.

19:24 Maybe you've walked through a miscarriage, multiple miscarriages. Maybe you just lost a child and you feel like, God, where are you? God, where are you in this season? Some of you are waiting on healing. You see people getting healed left and right, going to remission through cancer, and here you are another year, another month, not being healed, not seeing a family member healed.

19:50 Maybe you're just waiting on a spouse. You're like, God, if only I had a girlfriend, if only I had a boyfriend, if only I had a husband or a wife, would I finally be secure in you? Some of you are buried in debt. Some of you feel stuck while others are advancing. The danger comes though when comparison turns contentment into resentment. You begin to resent God for the season you refine yourself in. If I had to boil down coveting to one word, just one word, that'd be trust. Do you and I trust God? Recently, I was talking to my grandfather. I call him Goosey. That's my dad's dad. Amazing and faithful pastor for many years, recently retired. Anytime I get a phone call from my grandfather, it's intense because he's an amazing man of God. He could be intimidating.

20:45 He said, EJ, do you know where the center of the Bible is? I'm like, I'm a pastor. I should know this. Yes, of course, it's Psalms. But Goosey went a step further. He was like, no, EJ, I'm talking about the center chapter and the center verse. And I'm like, only my grandfather would know the answer to that question. He said, EJ, it's Psalm 118, verse eight. Would you go there? And so I was in my office at this time. So I grabbed my Bible, turned there. He said, EJ, read it to me. I'm like, yes, sir. Yes, sir, Goosey. it is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man. He said, if that's not at the center of your life as a Christian, if that's not at the center of every Christian's life, they are missing it. They're missing it. Every act of coveting you and I make is a vote of no confidence in the character of God.

21:41 We're saying, hey God, you don't know what the best plan for my life is. hey, God, you don't understand what I need and want. But every time you and I are content, every time we're saying, God, thank you for this, it's a declaration, hey, God, you are trustworthy. You are trustworthy. When coveting rises in our hearts, don't nurse it. Don't justify it. Don't try to hide it. No, bring it to God. Ask him to reorder your desires. Philippians 4, 11 says this, I've learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I've learned in whatever situation I am to be content. So how do you and I break the chains, break the bonds of coveting? You gotta practice gratitude out loud. Lord, thank you for your blessing.

22:36 Thank you for what you've given me. in my quiet time as I'm journaling my prayers out when the first things I try to do is Lord, thank you for this. Fill in the blank. Lord, fill in the blank. Lord, thank you for blessing my wife and I with our son, Trip. Lord, thank you for Jess. Thank you for my family. Lord, thank you for your church. Try to practice gratitude out loud. So as you go home today, before you go to bed, What can you thank God for? What can you write down on a sticky note, a piece of paper, maybe a new iPhone, whatever you have at your disposal? Write down what you're thankful for God. You might say, EJ, you don't know what season I'm in. You have no idea what I'm going through. My family is a testament of what we've gone through. We've gone through some difficult seasons in our lives.

23:32 Most of you know our story. We lost my older sister, LeBeth, to an alcohol withdrawal seizure. That was a dark and difficult time for our entire family. But we were able still in that season, and it's still difficult to this day, to say, Lord, thank you for what you're doing in my life. My wife, Jess, and I, we were still able, even when we were trying to have our son, Lord, thank you for your provisions. Lord, thank you for your blessings. Because when we stopped saying, I don't have enough, and we started saying, oh, Lord, you are enough, gratitude will grow and coveting will lose its grip. Romans 8.32 says this, he who did not spare his own son, but gave him up for us all, how will he not also along with him graciously give us all things?

24:27 God loves you and I so much that he gave us his son. He gave us salvation. If that was the only thing that he ever gave to you and to me, that'd be far more than we ever deserve, far more than we ever need. He loves us. He gave his life for us. He paid your debt. He secured your future. Let's pray together.

24:57 Dearly, Father God, thank you so much for what you're doing in and through this church, Lord. Lord, help us break the chains, break the bonds, of coveting. Help us, Lord, practice gratitude out loud. If there's anyone here today who's hearing the sound of my voice and you've never given your life over to Jesus, never given him the reins of your life, and you want to make today that day, I want to lead you in a prayer. Would you pray this prayer after me? Just say, hey, dear Jesus, I admit to you I'm a sinner. I believe you came from heaven down to earth to pay the penalty for my mistakes. You died on a cross and three days later rose again. Right now, I commit my life to you. Lord, thank you for rescuing me.

25:54 Thank you for saving me. We pray this in your most holy and holy name.